the ladies room...

[dolci]

J - I am so sorry to hear that.  I totally understand the feeling of "lost".  If you need some time away, feel free to head up here - Zooom or I both have plenty of room.  (((JBubble)))

[lauramonster]

JBubble - It will feel better, I promise you.  Until it does, feel free to cry here, chat, complain, get stomping mad, punch the cushions, curl into a ball, whatever you feel like.
Then the sun will feel a little brighter, the smiles will come easier to your face and you'll be movin' on!!
laura

[T-byrd]

I'm sorry you're in pain but on the brighter side, be glad you found out now only 9mos into it instead of years into it with possible other humans involved.

Your pain will pass in time, just make sure you experience all of the emotions as they come.  Don't just try to pass through them quickly otherwise you will not heal as fast and you wont be able to move on to bigger and better things.

I'm a believer in taking this kind of experience (even though it's very painful) and try to look at the positive.  He came into your life and brought you joy, he taught you new things and you learned new things about yourself, now take those positive experiences and know that you have something wonderful to offer someone wonderful...yourself and maybe that someone special too.

Chin up sister, we've all been there and it's never a pleasant experience but it sure reminds us to enjoy pleasant experiences all the more.

Tanya

[jdubbs32584]

Thank you all so so much. It means so much to me.

And a special thanks to msinc for talking to me online and letting me vent and say bad words and be angry as hell.

Dolci, I'm headed up y'all's (translation: "your") way. Maybe this coming weekend.

Again, I am so thankful to you all. It really helped me get through this first 24 hours. 

[dolci]

Definitely let us know...I have the kid but we're flexible. Also, this coming weekend is a huge classic Motorcycle Day nearby.  Zooom is a judge on Sunday and there should be a good amount of turnout from the MAD (Mid-Atlantic Ducati) Club.  Many of us are part of that group as well. 

[somegirl]

Thank you all so so much. It means so much to me.

And a special thanks to msinc for talking to me online and letting me vent and say bad words and be angry as hell.

You're welcome, you know we are always here for you.

[TiNi]

glad you are feeling better JBubble

[Shortie]

JBubble – it’s good to hear that you’re keeping it together. As T-Byrd said, let yourself experience the emotions as they come. Don’t feel a need to respond to all of them either. Just let them pass through your consciousness, and let them move on. Learning to simply acknowledge your feelings is a good start to healing.

I stayed with my last boyfriend for two years. At first it was great, but it quickly degraded into a never ending cycle of fighting and emotional/mental abuse. Of course, you don’t see it at the time but when all was said and done and he had laid down the final insult it didn’t take me long to realize that he had really done me a favor by being an ass hole. He taught me that I deserve better, taught me that I don’t need to put up with a man’s BS. He taught me what to look for so I don’t end up in that situation again, and made me really want to work on my problem solving skills. It was absolutely awful when it ended, but in looking back I wouldn’t change a thing because I have become a much stronger woman because of my experience with him.

My current boyfriend isn’t great at talking about the future. After a while I began to wonder what would happen with us down the road (we’ve been together for four years) and decided that I should make my own way for a while until either a) I get tired of waiting or b) he gets it together and has the discussion. A little over a month ago I got my own apartment, and I cannot tell you how awesome it feels to be independent. He stays with me on the weekends but I rule the roost and can do things on my terms, and so far it has been very good for me mentally. I am in complete control of my situation and it is very empowering.

Take some time for yourself before you pursue any other romantic interests. And when someone does finally catch your eye – make him work for it sista! Some days I still think I let my beau have me too easily. It teaches them that they can get lazy about winning your affection. Make them earn it!

[T-byrd]

Amen Hangin-biposto!  You nailed it perfectly sistah!

It will continue to get better Jbubble...you might have a few set backs but trust me you will better for it.

Tanya

[Betty Rage]

When you are able to, you should take some time for yourself and try to remember all the good things that came out of the relationship and what you can apply to the next one.

But for now, cry cry cry your eyes out, eat some ben and jerry's, and watch chick filcks with your girlfriends. You need it.

[empress duc]

ahhh break-ups...

they never feel good. 
it always seems dark and like life will never be as good
as it was back when you were happy with the now ex.

the best thing to do is fully feel all of the emotion around
the situation.  when i left my ex husband, i was angry...
no... i was absolutely vexed and completely LIVID for at
least two months.  i had suppressed all that emotion so
that we could stay together.  he was against the break-
up and i literally yelled at him for the duration of every
call he placed within those entire two months.  my vocal
cords would be shredded after; i'm sure people thought i
was nuts.

then the sadness came, then the disappointment... and in
the middle of that came the horniness.  this is a job for the
rebound guy.  just recognize that the rebound guy is the
rebound guy.  if he's really great, awesome.  it still doesn't
change the fact that he's the rebound guy.  do not get this
twisted.  recognize that there might be a couple rebound
guys.  again, do not get this twisted.

it is only when you...
are willing to be open
want to try a new way of being
forget trying to avoid what happened last time
(this one is critical... avoidance just makes it happen again--
in other words "what we resist persists"  )
it is only then that you can even consider starting something
real again.  and when you are, it will be beautiful.

until then ride on girl, ride on.
get with your girlfriends and enjoy life.

p.s. you're most attractive when you're enjoying yourself

[jdubbs32584]

Thank you girls. Really and truly THANK YOU. I'm up and down, sad and angry (down right pissed off), I'm crying and laughing. I'll be ok, I know I will. And your kind words help so much.

Thank you. 

[dolci]

Empress - once again, your insight never fails. 

[DucMouse the Mighty]

whats spankin  my sistas

 

[LMT]

whats spankin  my sistas

 

We had a tuna, avocado, radish and butter lettuce salad for dinner with 

Listening to Kate Campbell, dk lang, the Mavericks, and then Joan Armatrading.

Wine bottles need to hold at least one more glass