Ah, Justice. Sweet, sweet Justice...

[Michael Moore]

Those of you who know me, know I have a pretty low tolerance for people who get on the freeway without securing their loads. Like gardeners whose lawnmower is bouncing on top of a pile of clippings, guys in pickups with trash cans rolling around in back, and a special mention for dipsticks who tie mattresses to the tops of their cars.

So I'm riding home from the gym tonight and there, and about a quarter mile ahead of me, is a prime example of the aforementioned dipstick.

It's a green minivan with a mattress tied to the roof. The mattress is at a full 45 degrees off the roof and straining at the pathetically inadequate twine used to tie it down. So I get a couple of lanes over, gas the Streetfighter (I love that part) and then pull alongside him, and politely beep my horn. So the guy turns his head and gives me a blank stare I recognize from the deer that inhabit my garden. I motion to his roof, alerting him to the impending accident he's about to cause.

Well, this cretin just smiles and gives me a thumbs up! So I point again, and give him a big thumbs down. And then he does it again - another freakin' thumbs up!  Clearly too many bong hits have muddled his thinking, so I gun it again (see, I really do like that part) and crest the hill coming down toward Tam Valley.

There, at the side of the road are a couple of CHPs, having a confab on the side of the road, so I pull up and say, "There's a moron back there who's about to lose a mattress off the top of his car. They can't hear me over my clutch, so I repeat myself, to which one of the cops says, "That moron?" as the green minivan sails past, mattress at full salute. At which point the CHP jumps in his car and Hauls Ass, lights going, and stops the dude by the next exit.

Justice served. It felt so good.

[Popeye the Sailor]

Preventing mattresses from arriving is exactly why you never got hired at kink.com.

[somegirl]

Nice going Michael.

[Spidey]

I betcha the minivan forum is lit up right now with an epic rant about Ducati riding assholes.   

Werd, MM.   

[sugarcrook]

You lost me at at bong hits.  I assume it was a good story. 

[tigre]

Thanks, jackass.  BTW: minivan is "teal" not "green".

Thankfully, the CHP let me off with a warning only.

Those of you who know me, know I have a pretty low tolerance for people who get on the freeway without securing their loads. Like gardeners whose lawnmower is bouncing on top of a pile of clippings, guys in pickups with trash cans rolling around in back, and a special mention for dipsticks who tie mattresses to the tops of their cars.

So I'm riding home from the gym tonight and there, and about a quarter mile ahead of me, is a prime example of the aforementioned dipstick.

It's a green minivan with a mattress tied to the roof. The mattress is at a full 45 degrees off the roof and straining at the pathetically inadequate twine used to tie it down. So I get a couple of lanes over, gas the Streetfighter (I love that part) and then pull alongside him, and politely beep my horn. So the guy turns his head and gives me a blank stare I recognize from the deer that inhabit my garden. I motion to his roof, alerting him to the impending accident he's about to cause.

Well, this cretin just smiles and gives me a thumbs up! So I point again, and give him a big thumbs down. And then he does it again - another freakin' thumbs up!  Clearly too many bong hits have muddled his thinking, so I gun it again (see, I really do like that part) and crest the hill coming down toward Tam Valley.

There, at the side of the road are a couple of CHPs, having a confab on the side of the road, so I pull up and say, "There's a moron back there who's about to lose a mattress off the top of his car. They can't hear me over my clutch, so I repeat myself, to which one of the cops says, "That moron?" as the green minivan sails past, mattress at full salute. At which point the CHP jumps in his car and Hauls Ass, lights going, and stops the dude by the next exit.

Justice served. It felt so good.

[duckwrench13]

Job well done!

[desmoquattro]

People like that shouldn't be allowed to have mattresses...wait, they'd just procreate on the floor. Nevermind.

[Desmostro]

Nice MM

   

Thanks, jackass.  BTW: minivan is "teal" not "green".

Thankfully, the CHP let me off with a warning only.

You think as a UI designer he'd get that difference.

[Drunken Monkey]

  MM

[sally101]

Very nice.. Hope you gave him the thumbs up as you drove past.. 

Oh and you forgot to mention the ubiquitous flying ladders we constantly see on the road.. Those buggers are nasty.

[desmoquattro]

Very nice.. Hope you gave him the thumbs up as you drove past.. 

Oh and you forgot to mention the ubiquitous flying ladders we constantly see on the road.. Those buggers are nasty.

Those are less of a concern to MM, with his wheelie-then-stoppie-at-80mph Streetfighter

[jimboecv]

Thanks, jackass.  BTW: minivan is "teal" not "green".

Thankfully, the CHP let me off with a warning only.

  You beat me to it.

[sfarchie]

Wait! You go to the gym? 

[Michael Moore]

Wait! You go to the gym? 

Smartass.

Yeah, I know. I'd be even fatter if I didn't...