9 to 5 is for chumps! Salvation has arrived!!

[jimboecv]

Hey you working slobs, Jimbo's outahere!!

That's right!  Check out this email I got today, then cry in your PBR 'cause I'm living on easy street from now on!
Maybe if you post something nice about me I'll hook you up with my buddys. 
Or maybe not.
Sionara, suckas!

DEAR FRIEND,
I AM BARRISTER ERIC BOWELL AND I AM VERY HAPPY TO INFORM YOU ABOUT MY SUCCESS IN GETTING THAT FUND TRANSFERED. NOW I WANT YOU TO CONTACT MY PASTOR ON THE INFORMATION BELOW TO RECEIVE YOUR COMPENSATION OF ($1.5MILLION US DOLLARS ONLY).
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL HIM
CONTACT MY PASTOR. MR, FELIX OJI.
TEL : +234802-246-7755
EMAIL ADDRESS : timsullivan7000@gmail.com
SEND HIM THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO PROVE YOURSELF TO HIM:
YOUR FULL NAME;................
YOUR ADDRESS:...................
YOUR COUNTRY:...................
YOUR AGE:...........................
YOUR OCCUPATION:.............
YOUR PHONE NUMBER:.......
NOTE THAT IF YOU DID NOT SEND HIM THE ABOVE INFORMATION COMPLETE, HE WILL NOT RELEASE THE CHEQUE TO YOU BECAUSE HE HAS TO BE SURE THAT IT'S YOU. ASK HIM TO SEND YOU THE TOTAL SUM OF $1.5 MILLION US DOLLARS CASHIER'S CHEQUE, WHICH I KEPT FOR YOU. NOTE ALSO THAT I WILL NOT BE REACHED BY EMAIL OR PHONE FOR NOW BECAUSE I AM CORRENTLY AWAY FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE WITH MY SHARE AND I WILL BE BUSY TILL ABOUT SIX MONTHS TIME OR A YEAR.
REGARDS,
MR. ERIC BOWELL.

Running Balance per post: 
5/23/08 Started:      $1,500,000
5/23/08 end of day:  $1,460,000

[Juan]

  ..... congratulations.........   

[ROBsS4R]

I think you should go for it 

Whats the worse that can happen 

[Desmostro]

Where will you go first? Figi? Martinique? MUGELLO?! 

[jimboecv]

  ..... congratulations.........   

Thank you, Juan.  Since you were first, $25,000 for you.

Whats the worse that can happen?

Than what I'm doing now?  Nothing.  $5,000 to you.

Where will you go first? Figi? Martinique? MUGELLO?!

Yes, Mugello would be nice, but I need to wrap up some loose ends first. $5,000 for the idea.
Upon thought, I think my first trip will be to find my benefactor, Mr. Felix Oji (Pastor).  Now, I'm clueless to where Mr. Oji lives, but based up his previous 6,399 emails I'd guess somewhere around Lagos or Nigera.
Hummm... I wonder what time the bus leaves?  Bonus $5,000 for prompting thoughtfullness.

[ROBsS4R]

Can i have the 5k now before MR Bowells swindles all your money away 

[rafa]

A Barrister who cant spell

[ptam]

Maybe if you post something nice about me I'll hook you up with my buddys. 

LOL.  How 'bout you did a great job on that double take show  ... and now you can spend more time on the home improvement stuff...

[jimboecv]

Can i have the 5k now before MR Bowells swindles all your money away?

 
Ooo, bad negitive energy toward my pal, Mr. E. Bowell and you didn't use the magic word.
However, you were looking out for my best interests... kinda.
$1,000 coming your way.

A Barrister who cant spell

I'd say that's one set of seriously sharp peepers you got there, mister.
$2,000 in escrow account to be used for PhD in English w/grammer emphisis.

LOL.  How 'bout you did a great job on that double take show   ... and now you can spend more time on the home improvement stuff...

$10,000 because you have a memory - and appitite- like an elephant...
...-$9,000 WITH A HINT OF ATTITUDE.

[johnc]

man, i got one of these keen emails too from my new bestest friend, Beson Guei. 

i am gonna buy a desmosedici, a 1098r, booze, drugs and hookers .... then i am gonna waste the rest on foolish stuff.


Dearest one,
permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you,and I prayed due to its esteeming nature and the recommendation by the director for a reputable and trustworthy person l can do business with and by the recommendation l must not hesitate to confid in you for this simple and sincere business.I am Beson guei 19 years old and the only Son of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.JOSHAU.My father was a highly reputable busnness magnet-(a cocoa merchant)who operated in the capital of Ivory coast during his days.It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad year 12th.Dec 06.Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time.But God knows the truth!My mother died when I was just 4 years old,and since then my father took me so special. Before his death on Dec 12 2006 he deposited the sum of 9.500,000 US DOLLARS in a Bank in (ABIDJAN) the capital city of Cote D'ivoire.I want you to assist me in clearing this (fund)from the Bank and then tranfer the fund into your account as beneficiary of the fund,and also use it for an ivestment purpose.I am just 19 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do.I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast.The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life.Dearest one,I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.
Now permit me to ask these few questions:-
1. Can you honestly help me as your Daulghter?
2. Can I completely trust you?
Please,Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible.
Thank you so much.
Yours sincere regards,
Beson Guei

[johnc]

woo hoo!!! the money keeps pouring in today ...  this one HAS to be real ... it comes from fedex/kinko's.  the only part i am a little worried about is the constant mention of "F U".  should i be worried? 

FedEx Kinko's UK : Customer Service Center
1 Curzon Street,London United Kingdom W1Y 7FN
Phone: +(44) 7024074982 Fax: +(44) 2077174901
DATE:15/05/2008
Custormers Service Hours--Monday To Saturday:
Office Hours Monday To Saturday:

The FedEx courier Service Company are hereby passing an essential
massage to all our valuable customers to be very careful while presenting their receivers residential address to avoid wrong delivery.
This is the FedEx courier service company mailing you as per your
parcel that was brought to this company to be delivered to you by one
Mrs.sandra Williams,along the delivery process there came a misunderstanding between you and the nicon insurance company inregard of their request as per their insurance certificate which happens to be course of your parcel pending for the past one year.

We are happy to inform you once again that your parcel that contain the
sum of$ 1.3 million dollars is among the 24 parcels listed which is now
in our office and also with your name as the receiver despise that we lost your private residential address, which is an indication that you can now re-send your residential address back to the FedEx company where your parcel can be delivered to you without hesitation with this e-mail address:fedexcourierserviceplc009@yahoo.com
Meanwhile remember that the sender of this parcel Mrs. Sandra Williams
still owes this company the sum of $ 100 before incident occurs, know
you that this company has spend out of their incomes in the process by
recovery back your parcel so dear costurmer we once again appreciate
your patronage in our favour.
Without hesitations you are to pay for just the balance left by your
sender via western union so that your parcel can be delivered to your
residential address before it accumulate a demurrage after one week
only,as you know your parcel is not just an ordinary parcel but with a huge amount and I think you understand what I mean by accumulating a
demurrage?
We assure you that your parcel will arrive at your country in two days
time and it will get to your door step the third OR fourth day as soon
as this company receive the balance left by your sender and the tracking numberof your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can track it yourself to see your parcel coming on the way and you will also know when it will arrive at your country.
And also the FedEx courier Service Company is hereby to inform all
their customers by eradicating all their communication with the scam mails that are going all-over the world be careful with their e-mails so that your parcel will not be in danger with their evil plans.
FedEx provides access to a growing global market place through a
network of supply chain,transportation, business and related information services.
PAYMENT INFORMATION OFFICE
SENDERS NAME--F U-----
RECIEVERS NAME-F U-----james Beckford
SENDERS COUNTRY--F U---
RECIEVERS COUNTRY-F U---London, UK.
TEXT QUESTION------------WHO IS OUR SAVIOUR.
TEXT ANSWER---------------.JESUS
AMOUNT TO BE
PAID-F U--------$ 100
AND ALSO WITH THE MTCN NUMBER. F U
FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that
revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past
30years, we've grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies a
FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever.
WAITING TO READ YOUR E-MAIL.

Regards,
Mr. Brown Green.Yellow. F U
FEDEX KINKO'S COURIER MANAGING DIRECTOR.

[ROBsS4R]

You know what the Sad Part is.

I am sure people fall for this all the time 

[johnc]

wait ... you mean these are not real fortunes i am going to receive?  crap!!!

You know what the Sad Part is.

I am sure people fall for this all the time 

[ROBsS4R]

wait ... you mean these are not real fortunes i am going to receive?  crap!!!

Oh... Of course they are. 

Just give me your following and I will transfer the funds over 

First and Last Name
Home Address
Mothers Maiden Name
SSN #
Credit Card #
Bank Account #

[Snips]

woo hoo!!! the money keeps pouring in today ...  this one HAS to be real ... it comes from fedex/kinko's.  the only part i am a little worried about is the constant mention of "F U".  should i be worried? 

FedEx Kinko's UK : Customer Service Center
1 Curzon Street,London United Kingdom W1Y 7FN

Hey, I work in London so I could fetch your $1.3m in my lunch break.

You can trust me, honest!