stupid song lyrics

[Grampa]

Oh, You wanted to start a thread about song lyrics. I just thought you were having a moment, so I was trying to help. 

 

[Nitewaif]

If this post is about stupid song lyrics:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump

My hump my hump, my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps
Check it out

I drive these brothers crazy
I do it on the daily
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these ICEEs

Dolce &Gabbana
Fendi and Adonna
Karen, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'

Fly gear but I ain't askin'
They say they love my ass ?n
Se7en Jeans, True Religion
I say no, but they keep givin'

So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating

My love, my love my love my love
You love my lady lumps


If it's about staying with straying wimmenz cause of the good 'tang:

I came into this world as a reject
Look into these eyes
Then you'll see the size of these flames
Dwellin on the past
Its burnin' up my brain
Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain
Hey I think about the day
My girlie ran away with my pay
When fellas come to play
No she stuck with my homeez that she make the beast with two backsed
And I'm just a sucker with a lump in my throat
Hey, like a chump
Should I be feelin' bad? No
Should I be feelin good? No
Its kinda sad I'm the laughin' stock of the neighborhood
You would think that I'd be movin' on
But I'm a sucker like I said
make the beast with two backsed up in the head, not!!
Maybe she just made a mistake
I should give her a break
My heart will ache either way
Hey, what the hell
Watcha want me to say
I wont lie that I cant deny

[Chorus]
I did it all for the nookie
C'mon
The nookie
C'mon
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your, yeah!!

[il d00d]

Steve Miller Band's "Take the Money and Run" fails at rhyming, and fails big.

This heres a story about billy joe and bobbie sue
Two young lovers with nothin better to do <<<< off to a good start, two consecutive lines rhyme.  Sadly, this is the first and last instance of actual rhyme, by the way
Than sit around the house, get high, and watch the tube
And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose <<< things go to shit immediately.  "Loose" rhymes with "Sue" or...?

They headed down to, ooh, old el paso
Thats where they ran into a great big hassle <<< Real close, this was a squeaker 
Billy joe shot a man while robbing his castle <<<< I would take castle/hassle, but not castle/paso
Bobbie sue took the money and run <<<< Steve Miller gives up

Go on take the money and run
...

Billy mack is a detective down in texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He aint gonna let those two escape justice  <<<  I'd prefer if no one ever tried to rhyme "what the facts is" with anything
He makes his livin off of the peoples taxes <<< the song has made me sad by this point

Bobbie sue, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Billy joe caught up to her the very next day
They got the money, hey you know they got away
They headed down south and theyre still running today <<< what may look like a strong ending is just Steve rhyming way with way and day with day.
Singin go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Ad nauseum

[superjohn]

Even the greats can come up with some really dumb lyrics for what ends up being a good song. Case in point: "Jet" by Paul McCartney

Jet! I can almost remember their funny faces
That time you told me that
You were going to be marrying soon.
And jet, I thought the only
Lonely place was on the moon.
Jet! jet!
Jet! was your father as bold as a sergeant major?
How come he told you that
You were hardly old enough yet?
And jet, I thought the major
Was a lady suffragette.
Jet! jet!

Ah, matter, want jet to always love me?
Ah, matter, want jet to always love me?
Ah, matter, much later.

Jet! with the wind in your hair of a thousand laces.
Climb on the back and well
Go for a ride in the sky.
And jet, I thought the major
Was a lady suffragette.
Jet! jet!

[Oldfisti]

Stupid yet epic...




We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobster

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down

Let's rock!

Boy's in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' 'round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Put on the lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dogfish
Chased by a catfish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhale
HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!

[DucHead]

Theres a lady whos sure
All that glitters is gold
And shes buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and shes buying a stairway to heaven.

Theres a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
Theres a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

Theres a feeling I get
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And its whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If theres a bustle in your hedgerow
Dont be alarmed now,
Its just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
Theres still time to change the road youre on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it wont go
In case you dont know,
The pipers calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How evrything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And shes buying a stairway to heaven.

[DucHead]

I've heard it called by different names
All over the world, but it's all the same
There's so many ways to make love
A million ways to make love
A million ways, I've been thinking of
Oh yea

Chorus:
But there's only one way
There's only one way to rock

So many things can get you high
I'm gonna try em all just once before I die
And you can analyze this situation
To me it's all just mental masturbation

[Chorus]

Now quickly, check the hands on the clock
It's 8:05, it's time to rock
And this world can disagree
They don't understand how it can be
And it's not my point of view
It's a fact, and you know that it's true

[Chorus]

Crank up the drums, crank out the bass
Crank up my Les Paul in your face

[Chorus]

[LMT]

Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong,
play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Asked me if I needed a ride
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night
But mama, that's where the fun is
But mama, that's where the fun is
Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is
Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner,
watching the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone, reminding him of romance
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light
Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
Now Scott with a slingshot finially found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not said daddy's within earshot save the buckshot, turn up the band
Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong"

[TiNi]

we have a winner  congratulations LMT   

[Speedbag]

we have a winner  congratulations LMT   

Indeed.

[DCXCV]

Despite this thread already having a winner, I still have to submit:


Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets away
Until they whip it

I say whip it
Whip it good
I say whip it
Whip it good

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

[Oldfisti]

[Buckethead]

That's a very disturbing dinner plate you have there.