DUMBASS question of the day, udder on a M900

[ID_DUC_MON]

My bike is currently tore down and I am waiting on bearings before I put it back together. As I sit and drink my coffee I stare at the bike thinking what cheap mods I could do. Right now it has low-slung shorty carbon Remus cans. Personally, I am not a fan of the wheel-barrow look and I really want to get rid of cans all together.  Since x-box is out of the budget I have been thinking of alternatives.  What about obtaining an udder from a more recent Monster rendition and installing it on my 97? I am thinking of hiding it behind a chin fairing and doing some type of slash-cut tips.  I figured I cannot be the only one this retarded but no search turns up any results. So let the heckling begin, what say you.

[DarkStaR]

I figured I cannot be the only one this retarded but no search turns up any results. So let the heckling begin, what say you.

Nope, you're the only one that retarded.    

I'm just f'n with you.  

Getting it to fit/work is not worth it, their really heavy, you'll probably lose some hp and/or tq, and they look like BALLS.

[angler]

+1 on the udders looking like ass + heavy and no increase in performance.

Boomtubes are cheaper than an ex-box, but I'm not sure MotoCreations makes a set for your bike.  Occasionally you'll see road racing exhausts on ebay for decent prices which sound like what you might be looking for.

[junior varsity]

udder won't bolt up to your dss very easily.

[Kopfjäger]

Please do not make the beast with two backs up a 900 with that ugly ass piece of shit udder. 

[COP TZR]

Please do not make the beast with two backs up a 900 with that ugly ass piece of shit udder. 

I 2nd that!

[djrashonal]

we should all concur
Catch me if you can - Do you concur scene

[badgalbetty]

I disagree.........
I do not concur.
Question Authority.
But then again BGB is who she is.........Be your own person, take a chance in life ...............the rewards are generous.
Never settle for anything less than you expect.
Thread Jack Over 
BGB.

[Drunken Monkey]

Just stick some shorty baffles on to the ends of the headers.

It's as close as you can get to no exhaust.

And the udder reminds me of a hemorrhoid. Just saying.

[Duck-Stew]

The above posts are about aesthetic reasons.  Here's a technical reason why it can't be done:  The 'udder' is actually a catalytic converter.  Unless your bike is running very lean, you'll likely plug it up with too much carbon and then it will fail.

Oh, that and it would be difficult to get it to fit as there were no 900's which came with it, and the outlets will hit a DSS swingarm (I test-fit one so I know that...).

If you're dead-set on it, then go for it...  But cut the thing open, sell the guts for $$$ (there's platinum in catalytic converters ya know...) and then build the case as a muffler and go for it.  Who knows...could look cool on a DSS bike?!?

[junior varsity]

pm calscrazy to see if he's got some pics of the tips off his headers on his 695. You could do the same thing. It sounds bad ass.

[badgalbetty]

In the cat on the s2r/s4r I thought it was just waffle cone/perforated steel. There was pic otb way back when. Not sure if Ducati ever put semi-precious metals in a bike that cost $8500 new..............Maybe I am wrong,usually am. I am just a girl, what do I know.

[Howie]

In the cat on the s2r/s4r I thought it was just waffle cone/perforated steel. There was pic otb way back when. Not sure if Ducati ever put semi-precious metals in a bike that cost $8500 new..............Maybe I am wrong,usually am. I am just a girl, what do I know.

Mixed, some, if not all of the S2R 800s that came into the US had no catalyst in the udder and perhaps some early S2R 1000s.  No idea if any S4Rs came through without a cat.  I'm not sure what you are referring to as a "waffle cone"  but the catalytic converter section is a honeycomb type structure and not very large.

[MotoCreations]

The Udder systems use a rear header that nearly touches the back of the engine case when routed down.

Your DSS swingarm would require modifying a rear header to dump @2in further back. (rear header routing is different between the swingarm configurations)  Ditto for the front header having to be lengthened.  Then due to the udder having the vertical tube integration -- you would have to move that back 2in as well to align with the rear header hole in the swingarm.  I'm pretty sure the Udder would hit your tire then...

Even if you received a S2R800 system (other header flanges won't work ala S2R1000, S4R, etc)) -- it's still way too many hours of modifications of all components to make work.  Then inevitably is the 2nd question -- what are you going to do for outlets or exhaust pipes?

[ID_DUC_MON]

Then inevitably is the 2nd question -- what are you going to do for outlets or exhaust pipes?

Since you asked...My wife has her own bike and frankly, I'm to old to be out trolling for tire biters anyway so I want to slim down the bike. Get rid of the low-mount Remus cans and get a set of rider-only rear sets. Basically, the only things I want protruding out the sides of the bike are the hand and foot controls.  I would like to tuck the exhaust up under the bike ala an X-box but without spending that much dough. I thought the idea of an udder would give proper exhaust volume (cubic inches not decibels) and back pressure or at least close enough to square up with jetting.