The joy of family drama

[Popeye the Sailor]

So, me mum has been a bit of a wreck ever since the old man passed on, though she has been slowly getting better, or as better as one can get. Such is life.

However with the loss of the old man, there are a number of things that she now needs help with, like moving anything heavy, or help finding things like a trustworthy contractor etc.

Me brother, who lives all of ten minutes from her, is of no help. She sold her house, as it was too much for her to maintain. She gave him a chunk of the money. Did he help her move? No.
Does he call her? Check on her? Take her to lunch? No. Nothing. I do more for her around the house. I live in California-she lives in Massachusetts. This makes for a rough commute.

He called to pregnant dog that she was always asking for help. I asked what the last thing he did for her actually was, which was to pick her up from the airport from when she came to visit me. He took two hours out of his busy life to pick his mother up in the $30K+ truck she bought him. That would have been a little over three months ago. I can't tell you how impressed I am.

Not too long ago, apparently, she got tired of this-being treated like an ATM but getting no kindness or thanks, or much of anything, and cut him off. This is a tragedy in his life as he and his wife have never figured out how to spend less than they make, and will most likely be in severe trouble in the next five years. I give him about three before he faces losing his house.

Him and I, through some screwball deal, own a different house together. He wrote to me fairly frantic, wanting me to buy him out, except he also wanted use of the house after the fact. I suggested he cram it with a pool cue. (I did not know he was cut off at this time).

She then contacted me to tell me what was going on, and that she wants to make me trustee to his share of the estate. She won't tell him he's being left out of the inheritance, either. She doesn't want to have that fight. This is going to be a surprise to him, apparently.
She wants to make sure I take care of her grandkids (my niece and nephew) and keep his from frittering it away. I agreed.


I imagine he'll hate me.


I need a drink.

[ungeheuer]

I imagine he'll hate me.

I imagine he'll contest the will. 

Although hopefully you wont have to deal with that issue for a very long time to come. 

[Popeye the Sailor]

I imagine he'll contest the will. 

Although hopefully you wont have to deal with that issue for a very long time to come. 

Meh.


He's never been a match for me.

[ducpainter]

Do you mind him hating you?

[Charlief]

Ha!

My dad died a poor man while his brother and sister blew through 2.2 million dollars after my grandfather died. My aunt (I call her pregnant dog) was in charge of the estate and cut my dad right out. My grandfather had alzheimer's at the end and had no idea what was going on.

My aunt ( pregnant dog) bought a new house and cars. My uncle ( freeloader) bought a house and a liquor store.  Now he can drink his pathetic ass into the grave. They didn't even have the decency to send a card or show up at my dads funeral.

So... I feel your pain 

[RAT900]

This is a wonderful thread...I am honestly glad for you that your mother came to her senses,,   

I am also sorry for you that you will be saddled with the vultures

but you will do what is right

I no longer deal with remaining family...

father died broke, broken and drunk

mom is an 85 year-old lifetime/career prescription junkie who makes William S. Burroughs seem wholesome

2 brothers are both deadbeats

only decent sister checked herself out at age 30

the other 2 sisters...well one is a crackhead and the other a prematurely bitter spinster

no holiday gatherings with them 

[lethe]

I have more than my fair share of drama and oddness as well, so I feel for you.

[Popeye the Sailor]

Do you mind him hating you?

Only that it inconveniences me in my dealings with him.


My annoyance is more that he's upset me mum-she doesn't ask for much.

[ducpainter]

Only that it inconveniences me in my dealings with him.


My annoyance is more that he's upset me mum-she doesn't ask for much.

My brother leeched off my mom for years before she died. She'd complain about it every time I talked to her. He thinks he's a prince.

Now he's leeching off his brothers.

Good luck with it.

[lethe]

Only that it inconveniences me in my dealings with him.


My annoyance is more that he's upset me mum-she doesn't ask for much.

The bigger question...what's with the British accent?

[Ddan]

I guess I'm lucky.  While there was plenty of reason for the train to come off the rails, my immediate family is mostly normal, we all get along and like each other.  The extended family gets a bit sketchy, but that's just fodder for conversation over the Thanksgiving table. 

[erkishhorde]

I imagine he'll contest the will. 

Although hopefully you wont have to deal with that issue for a very long time to come. 

How does that work? I don't know anything about the inheritance system. Why do "we" get to change what the deceased wanted?

[ducpainter]

How does that work? I don't know anything about the inheritance system. Why do "we" get to change what the deceased wanted?

Because there are lawyers...

and judges that will listen to the bullshit.

[ryandalling]

Wills are great. My grandmother left different properties to each of her grandchildren... but my cousin was getting divorced at the time, and refuses to accept the property as she doesn't want her ex to get any of it... so it goes into perpetuity and eventualy the gov'ment will own it... then the other properties are in various states of disrepair and the family is fighting over clean up costs and what not.... finally, you have the hospice bills and such that need to be paid for, and nobody wants to sell their property to pay for the grandmothers debts... total mess... good luck with it all.

[RAT900]

I guess I'm lucky......... my immediate family is mostly normal, we all get along and like each other........   

I believe we were working under the Father Knows Best/Leave It To Beaver model

but something got a little tweaked in the translation and execution of the script  


oh and never EVER take a dispute over executor designation into the courts for settlement...

they will assign an "Independent Law Firm" to administer (plunder) the estate assets as the "executor"

The Law Firm will be connected to the in-power political party ...you will never overturn it

and you will sit on the sidelines and watch all the wonderful ways they work-over the "plum"

and if you see the malfeasance and try to take it to court...

well guess what judge will be hearing your impotent bleatings?

don't ask me how I know the play here