The Best of Craigslist

[eltristo]

[snip]
Not only junk, but isn't $30 for 3 or $10 each the same thing?

mitt

the craigslistpolice will be arriving shortly.  you've really done it this time.....

[OverCaffeinated]

Here's one, but it has to be fake?
____________________________________________________
Missed Connections: Woman running naked (MoVal)

You were running naked down the street screaming and maybe crying too. Last nite/early this morning around 1:30 am on Farmwood. u look like u might be black or hispanic I really couldn't tail u ran by me so fast, you may have been bleeding too but our eyes locked and I felt a connection Among other things. I thought you were HOT! I wanted to aks you for your number but didn't have the nerve. Can I take u out drinking and smoke sometime? HIt me up if this is you. What happened to your clothes?
__________________________________________________

I edited the last word.

[MendoDave]

Dear best buy #305

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/1018581833.html

[NAKID]

Dear best buy #305

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/1018581833.html

Here, let me show you guys how it works. Copy...Check, Paste....

This Letter of Apology is not only for the staff at the Best Buy #305 in Schaumburg, Illinois, but also to the gentleman in the middle stall in the men’s restroom at about 5:17 CST on Saturday, January 31st. You had been in there for awhile, so this Letter of Apology is as much for you. Please let me expand…

I recently finished reading The Chris Farley Show (I strongly recommend this book for everyone) and have been wanting to buy SNL’s Best of Chris Farley. After my fiancee’s grandmother’s 90th birthday party in the northwest suburbs (very lovely gathering, by the way) Saturday late afternoon/early evening, I decide to stop by and buy it. Right away, I find the last one on the shelf as my fiancée is looking for other “bargains,” and I pass it to her when I realize my stomach is rumbling. I decide to take a trip to the men’s room in search of a better life for myself. That’s when complications began to arise.

As I walk towards the men’s room, a mother is telling her son “it’s okay, use the bathroom, I’ll be right here” or something like that. I remember being that age (about 7-9) and public bathrooms were not your friend. I walk in just behind the little boy and see him glance at the urinal for a brief second – and then he walks to the rear stall. DAMMIT!! The middle stall is taken, and I think pooping in a urinal on a Saturday afternoon is a felony in most states. I sigh, leave, and take a couple of more (fast) laps around all of the movies and Wii games.

I return to the restroom about four minutes and ten seconds later, and the rear stall is now open. PAYDIRT!!! The middle stall is still occupied by the same dude as before (I can tell by seeing the same shoes and pants on the floor underneath the door). I actually think to myself, “that sucks, poor guy.” After wiping the toilet seat, I sit down and take a refreshing and cleansing poo. Things are looking up in life again.

I go to flush the toilet and sneer at how ugly it looks in there. It’s bad. Really bad. It is actually too gross for me to follow-through on taking a picture of it and texting it to my friend Steve.

Anyway, here is where things went awry. Very. I flush the toilet. Bubble. Bubbling. Rumbling. Uh-oh. The water rises a little. Please go down. Please. The water rises a little more. Nervousness settles in. Quickly. Shit. Dammit. make the beast with two backs. make the beast with two backs. make the beast with two backs. Stop the water. Industrial toilet. It’s not an option. WTF. Shit. Please go down. Water still rising. Not going down. Really bad. 1” to go. make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs. Please just stop. 1/2” left. Time to think of an exit strategy. Water overflows. Well, I guess you can call it water, but it doesn’t really look like water anymore. And, I just remember about the poor guy in the middle stall. Stay calm. And get out of there. Now.

“Watch your feet, dude, I’ll get somebody quick.” I said it as calm as I possibly could.

I almost immediately find a Best Buy employee: “I just wanted you to know that a toilet is overflowing in the men’s restroom, and you’re going to want to get somebody in there quick.”

I find my fiancée almost immediately. I walk very (very) fast towards her. “Can you get the movies? I’ll get the car.” She knows something is wrong. Very wrong. I guess I won’t argue with her buying Forgetting Sarah Marshall, then. I go to the car and circle around the parking lot for about eight minutes. I am hoping that the guy from the middle stall isn’t scouring the parking lot yet for the guy with brown hair in the black pullover and dark green vest. My fiancée walks out, she jumps in, and I speed away as fast as a 5 MPH speed limit in a parking lot permits.

So, please accept my apology, the guy in the middle stall, and also the fine employees at the Best Buy #305. I sincerely apologize for any heartache, headaches, and pain I may have caused you. And for ruining your weekend. Every time I watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall with my lovely soon-to-be wife, a special cloud of guilt will hang over my head for you.

Sincerely,

Anonymous.

Check

See how easy that was...

[MendoDave]

Whatever. I hope it wasn't too difficult to click the link.

[El Matador]

Whatever. I hope it wasn't too difficult to click the link.

The reason for this is the fickle nature of most of these craigslist posting. They are here to entertain and amuse us one day, and to deceive and frustrate us the next, when we click on the link and find out that said posting has expired 

[NAKID]

Whatever. I hope it wasn't too difficult to click the link.

The reason for this is the fickle nature of most of these craigslist posting. They are here to entertain and amuse us one day, and to deceive and frustrate us the next, when we click on the link and find out that said posting has expired 

We just addressed this 2 days ago. That's why. Not to mention some people's networks won't allow them to view CL...

[Mother]

yes true

however

having them disappear in a short time makes them funny and derby proof

you don't want to use up all the funny do you?

[Ddan]

you don't want to use up all the funny do you?

it does seem to be in pretty short supply.

[Mac_48]

lol....I forgot about this thread

[OverCaffeinated]

Life sentence given to Craigslist killer

Story

[Monsterlover]

Ick.

[OverCaffeinated]

I promise this isn't me. But is in same area and similar monsters.

Dumb woman

Me: matte black Ducati Monster, beautiful in every way
You: Gray SUV that your husband owns, which you shouldn't be licensed to drive

I was on my way home, physically exhausted from the nature of my previous location. I was eager to come home and shower. I take the same exit, every day, on the same motorcycle and I ride the same path, given the conditions of the road have gone unchanged. I live off of La Sierra. They've been doing construction on this road for years. You had to have known this. There's one left turn lane from the offramp, which is often filled by a line of ten or so cars. Just as I do everywhere else, I split the lane and ride my merry way to the head of the line of you boxed sheep. Yes, and it's the god damn law. make the beast with two backs you if you don't know it. Yes, in California, I, a motorcyclist, am permitted to share lanes with mongoloid car drivers just like yourself. I use this law to my advantage, every god damn day, along with every other god damn motorcyclist on the road. There is no way that this hasn't happened to you before. I pulled up next to your driver side window, taking the head of the line, patiently waiting for my green light, when you decided that now was a good time for you to begin a discussion.

You rolled down your window and began indirectly jabbering at the back of my helmet. No, I didn't really hear what you said, nor do I care. All I needed to hear was the initial "H-E-L-L-O" out of your filthy mouth to know that you were a worthless, dumb woman. Further more, you couldn't even look any direction near my face while talking. Weak. While trying to peace together your worthless words, I gathered that you were upset in regards to my newfound position in life; at the head of your ridiculous line. If you had spared even a short moment to consider the situation, I doubt you would have been so upset. My pulling ahead of you, although it may be difficult to comprehend, has absolutely no effect on your position in traffic. You will not arrive at your final destination any sooner/later, because of me. Only five seconds after that light turned green, I was about two cars ahead of you, just as there were before I arrived. Moron. Think. Still, despite logic, my presence upset you. Good. I'm glad that you think of the nature of driving in such a childish manner. It makes it that much sweeter when I weave in and out of foolish woman cattle like yourself on the 91. make the beast with two backs you.

Unfortunately, I was unable to react as I should have, all due to the ten police officers directly to our left. The next time someone like you decides to spew their frustrations at me while I'm riding, I'll remember you. I'll remember, before making use of a powerful, hand built, italian powerplant, to first make use of my foot by kicking your side mirror off of your husband's car. Next time.

    * Location: Riverside, La sierra offramp

[Porsche Monkey]

http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/mcy/1226169735.html





Kawasaki Ninja 250 R 2003 - $3200 (281 & Stone Oak)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-reeqv-1226169735@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-17, 12:09PM CDT



I have a 2003 Kawasaki Ninja 250R for sale. The bike has exactly 7,386 miles on it and i have the free and clear title to the bike. Its in mint shape but does have a couple small scratches here and there like any other bike. Front left turning signal is broken but still works but that is really simple to fix. It goes about 130 mph, is a 6 speed, gets any where from 55 - 70 mpg on gas, has a upgraded headlight that is pretty bright, double muffler on it, helmet holder on the side, anti steering wheel lock on it, the inspection is good intill next year of feb 2010, Ins is only about $15.00 a mouth and is a eye catcher for sure. I'm only selling for cash & thats it. If anyone wants get some more info on the specs free to look it up online. So if any wants to but this bike just call me at 210-678-1033 & ask for Carlos. I will work with anyone on the price, so feel free to call. It is $3,100.00 or your obo & I will work with anyones offer. Thanks Here are a couple of specs:



Features:

• Compact DOHC Twin cylinder engine. 4 valves per cylinder. Lightweight alloy cylinder head. High-compression, lightweight alloy pistons. Advanced liquid-cooling.

• Maintenance chores are minimized with an automatic cam chain tensioner, silent-type cam chain, low-friction coating on chain guides, plus a low-maintenance battery.

• Easy-to-select 6-speed transmission with Kawasaki’s convenient Positive Neutral Finder.

• Diamond high-tensile steel frame and advanced suspension components including the single shock UNI-TRAK® rear suspension system.

• Stainless steel disc brakes front and rear. Balanced Actuation front brake caliper for consistent wear and performance.

• Light overall dry weight, low seat height, electric starter, rider-friendly ergonomics, and a 4 gallon (18 L) fuel tank make the 250R a great introduction to the world of sportbikes.

• Comprehensive instrumentation includes large speedometer and tachometer.

• Retractable bungee cord hooks add convenience and style.



Specifications:
ZZ-R250
Engine type 4-stroke, liquid-cooled In-Line Twin
Displacement 248cc
Bore x stroke 62 x 41.2mm
Compression Ratio 12.4:1
Valve system DOHC, 8 valves
Fuel system Keihin CVK30 x 2
Ignition Digital
Starting Electric
Transmission 6 Speed with Positive Neutral Finder
Frame type Aluminium double box-section diamond frame
Rake/trail 27°/84 mm (3.3 inches)
Suspension, front 37mm hydraulic fork
Suspension, rear Bottom-Link UNI-TRAK®
Tires, front, rear Tubeless; 100/80-17; 140/70-17
Brakes, front Disc with Balanced
Brakes, rear Actuation Caliper Disc
Wheelbase 1405 mm (55.1 inches)
Seat height 760 mm (29.3 inches)
Fuel capacity 18 litres (4 gallons)
Dry weight 148 kiligrams (304 pounds)




Location: 281 & Stone Oak

[NAKID]

Mint condition except for the scratches and broken signal. This must be the Ninja 250R Capirex if it does 130!