One-eyed German Bert and Ernie do drugs

[scienceiscool]

Just like the title says...

http://www.youtube.com/v/hhVeDYdRgr0&hl=en

[PizzaMonster]

What he say? 

[scienceiscool]

roughly it goes:

ernie has some drugs. he is trying to decide what drugs to use.  heroin? lsd? cocaine? no, cause then i'll have no nose (ha ha ha)
in comes bert with joint. hey bert, share the joint.
cops at the door. oh shit!
here bert, take all the drugs so the cop won't find them. lsd - cocaine - heroin (stab)

and i don't even speak german.