S2R800 won't start

[S2RMassive]

I've got a 2006 S2R800 with about 7k miles on that I don't ride very frequently anymore.  It got to the point where every time I wanted to ride I'd have to pull the battery out (there's no power outlet near where I park it) and put the battery on a tender in my apartment the night before.  Last time I took her out was a week after I had charged the battery.  I ended up having to start the bike a few times within a few minutes - once to get it going, once because I turned down the throttle warm-up too soon and it stalled and the third time at the gas station.  I ended up having to push the bike home because it wouldn't start at the gas station(luckily I was only 1/2 mile away).  That was about two months ago.  Since then I had taken the bike out for a short ride after putting the battery back on the tender.  A few days ago I tried to start the bike and it wouldn't turn over so I put the battery back on the tender for a few days. and here is where things started to get strange:

1. The tender immediately started flashing green indicating the battery had > 80% charge remaining. 
2. When I put the battery on the bike it wouldn't start.  So I rechecked the battery connection and it was fine.  Checked and rechecked that the starter kill wasn't on.  Turned off the high beems still no engine turn. 
3. All of a sudden I start hearing a clicking noise coming from somewhere (not sure where) that wouldn't stop until I disconnected the battery which obviously made it stop.  Reconnected the batter and the clicking started again. 
4. Took the battery out and put it back on the tender - tender still read that the battery is > 80% charged. 

I'm really stuck here.  Can someone please help?  I'm pretty good mechanically but not with bikes.  If someone can point me in the right direction I'd really appreciate it and probably be able to post up some more useful information.  Furthermore, and I know this is a long shot but I also know that there are some really helpful people out there, if someone can stop by (I'm in Emeryville, CA) and help me with this is I'd offer a dinner and as much beer as you can carry on a ducati (my girlfriend is a really good cook).  If you guys think this is a lost cause I guess I'll have to tow it to desmotosport.  All of your help is greatly appreciated and thanks for all of your help in advance.   

All the best,

Sohail

[corey]

are you hearing a "whirr" sound coming from your fuel pump when you turn the key to "on"?
maybe the clicking is a fuel pump relay or something...
just throwing out some ideas.

is the bike cranking at all? or is it just clicking/doing nothing when you hit the the start button?

[DarkStaR]

Sounds like the battery is shot.  Do you have the means to try a good battery?

Also just to be sure, check that the ground cable near the oil breather (near the rear brake reservoir) is clean and snugged down.

I would go over and help you out, but I HATE that side of the bay.  

There are a few folks out there that may help you out.  

Try posting here:
http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?board=19.0

[S2RMassive]

Corey,

It's not really a whirr.  It's more like a click.  So I took a closer look tonight and it looks like its coming from one of two relays that are mounted right where the battery is. 

DStar,
I don't have another battery.  Also, I've posted in the MOB area also.  I checked the ground cable and it looks like its on pretty solid with no rust forming around or near the connection.

Thanks to both of you for your help.  Here's some more info:

After putting the freshly charged battery in the first time i put the key in the gauges sweep and everything looks fine.  When I attempt to start I hear a starter click as if the battery is dead.  Subsequent attempts to start result in no more "starting" clicks and the guages all go haywire.  By haywire I mean tach and speedo are either bouncing around or stuck on 2k or 20 mph, temp goes from hi to 3000 to 204 to all dashes (mind you the bike hasn't started in 2 months), when I pull the clutch in all the gauges go off or come back on depending on the bike's mood.  In other words, everything is hosed. 

[suzyj]

This is completely normal behaviour for a stuffed battery.  The internal resistance goes up, so when you put it on the charger, the battery voltage goes up quite a lot, fooling the charger into thinking it's charged.  Then when you put it on the bike, the voltage drops low enough that the solenoid isn't able to pull in, hence the clicking.

Four years use from a motorcycle battery is a pretty good life - go buy a new one.

[Howie]

If I were a betting man I would bet on the battery, but I am not.  Remove the battery, charge it, take it to a shop, have it load tested and you will know.  Or, if it is the original battery you are running on borrowed time anyway, consider replacing it as preventative maintenance.

[S2RMassive]

Thanks for your help everyone!  So I decided to give the bike a jump start.  As soon as I hooked the jumper cables up the bike started acting normal again; gages, lights etc all sprung back to life.  The bike fired up no problem as well - I even took it around the block once and everything ran great so you're right.  I need a new battery.  Anyone know where I can get the best deal in the Bay Area.  I'd rather not wait for it to be shipped.  Once again, I really appreciate the help.

[booger]

Seems I read on here somewhere that it's not the most intelligent thing to do to jump start one of these bikes or any motorcycle for that matter; especially the way most people would do it, i.e. with a car. You risk frying the ECU.

[Howie]

Seems I read on here somewhere that it's not the most intelligent thing to do to jump start one of these bikes or any motorcycle for that matter; especially the way most people would do it, i.e. with a car. You risk frying the ECU.

As long as the car is not running, no problem.  Even if the car is running you will probably be OK, but no reason to take the chance.