Your most embarassing experience

[fwtcc]

What is your most embarassing experience?

I got one then one that had potential.

When I was 16 I was run over by a car on my neighborhood street.  I ended up under it.  When they started to push the car off of me, I noticed my shorts and draws had melted to the catalytic converter.  I attempted to keep them on but it was no go.  So out I came in the remnants of a beater... and nothing else.  Now at this time it made no difference to me, I was a blood fountain.  The ambulance came and any time there are sirens there are spectators so out came all the neighbors.  It was only after a friend that was present informed me of my high level of exposure that I thought about it.  It made any fund raising for sports quite difficult to do my remaining year in high school.  "Hey can you donate/purchase for x sport?  It's the least you could do.  Consider it a staring at my dong tax."

Next was the following year.  Now as everyone knows, high school has one, maybe two "safe" toilets and they are usually the least accessable.  Well on this day I had an emergency and had to use one of the worst restrooms, which sucked bad enough in it's own right.  So as I had planted my cheeks on the nest and made a commitment to let it loose...  The fvcking fire alarm goes off.  Seriously, you have got to be fvcking kidding me.  At first it was nice, you know, minus the shrill, ear piercing alarm.  Once the building was evacuated it was a stress free, again besides my bleeding ears from the alarm, duece, no mf'ers were going to walk in and lob shit over the stalls or anything to that effect.  I just figured I would wait it out and hop out of the bathroom as soon as everyone else came back in.  Well, this happened to be a real fire one of the lunch ladies caused.  So I was in there forever.  Not able to stand sitting in a disgusting bathroom any more I decided to make a break for it.  So I ninja'ed my way through the building coming within feet of administration and not getting caught.  I sneak out one of the doors that open in to a less crowded area.  Then five steps from the building, "Why were you in there?" from a teacher just around the bend.  Quick on my feet I replied I was just really thirsty and she let it go at that.  Mostly this story wasn't too embarassing, but had I been busted during my ninja'ing and they asked what the hell I was doing in the building, I would have no other reply than to boldly say, "Dropping a damn duece."

[Mother]

Most recent embarassing experience

putting some gear in the trunk of a Cadillac Seville

did you know they have some kind of electric closing mechanism?

so when you close the trunk lid it appears to not be latched

and

any normal person would then try to re-open it and slam it harder

but when grabbing the lip to re-open the lid

the closing mechanism sucks the lid closed on fingers of both hands

trapping me there like a idiot

whilst pops stands there laughing hysterically

[metallimonster]

On top of being sad and horrible this is the most embarrising story of my life.

When I was twenty I moved to Phoenix AZ to go to Universal Technical Institute.  After being there 3 weeks, my roomate (which I barely knew), had an allergic reaction to the pesticides they were using in our apartment and died in his sleep.  After calling 911 and trying to do CPR, I went outside to wait for the ambulance/cops.  Obvioulsy it was a bad situation and somewhat confusing to the cops why a healthy 20 year old would just die like that.  I answered a ton of questions about drugs and whether or not we had been mad at eachother or not.  About two hours into the investigation I am approached by a hot ass female detective and she says to me "I noticed a bunch of tissuses in the trash can in your room, have you been sick too?"  To which I had to reply "No mam, you see I just moved away from my gf of 4 years and that's not snot in those tissues."  She certainly was not ready for that answer and I was mortified.

[Count Desmo]

"No mam, you see I just moved away from my gf of 4 years and that's not snot in those tissues."  She certainly was not ready for that answer and I was mortified.

That's an awesome moment in a really crappy situation!

[TiNi]

ever fall down a flight of stairs at a party wearing a mini? 

[triangleforge]

I was a pretty dorky teenager (not like much has changed in the past three decades, but it's important to set this in context) and had a pretty formidable vocabulary. Of course, since it was all from reading I couldn't pronounce half of the fancy words I liked to use and often got the wrong one stuck in my head. Lots of little gaffes, but one stands out. At the final round of a big speech team tournament (I said I was a dork, OK?) I gave a brilliantly researched, incisively-argued and quite thorough five minute extemporaneous speech on the thorny issue of abortion, elucidating the moral, legal and societal impetus to balance the rights of the woman with those of the feces.

[nkryptit]

So this is one of my most proud moments, followed shortly by one of my most embarrassing.
I was having a little liquor party at my apartment a few years ago, everyone was getting friendly and drunk.  After ALMOST all of the guests had left, a few of my lady friends and one of my buddies decided to go have a little romp in my room.  One of my lady friends had brought some guy she met on the internet, but he had passed out puking in my bathroom, and we soon forgot about him.  Boom boom, bang bang, shake rattle and roll...A little while into the action, without a knock or any warning, a silhouette  comes barging into the dark room, and up pop one, two, three, four heads looking toward the doorway.  Because of the lighting and the quick running away of our 'guest' no one really saw who it was, and we all laughed our asses off remembering the guy in the bathroom.

Next day...

Another girl I had been sniffing around that lived in the same complex as myself comes over to hang for a bit, but quickly asks rhetorically, "So....what was going on in your room last night".  Turns out she had heard about the party a little late, I must have forgot to lock the front door, and she just wandered in, thought she heard someone awake in my room and entered.

Funny now, very embarrassing at the time.

[SacDuc]

ever fall down a flight of stairs at a party wearing a mini? 

Yep. 


sac













j/k

[sbrguy]

I was a pretty dorky teenager (not like much has changed in the past three decades, but it's important to set this in context) and had a pretty formidable vocabulary. Of course, since it was all from reading I couldn't pronounce half of the fancy words I liked to use and often got the wrong one stuck in my head. Lots of little gaffes, but one stands out. At the final round of a big speech team tournament (I said I was a dork, OK?) I gave a brilliantly researched, incisively-argued and quite thorough five minute extemporaneous speech on the thorny issue of abortion, elucidating the moral, legal and societal impetus to balance the rights of the woman with those of the feces.

now that is funny

[SKOM]

When I was 17 some friends and I were on a road trip to see a concert in Vancouver 800km away.
Apparently the strict diet I had been on the for the last week of cheetos and beer upset my bum... violently.

We pull up to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. I am about 10 seconds from shitting my pants.
I run to the men's bathroom. Some guy is in there (only one stall). DAMN 

There is no one else around and I sneak into the ladies room (also only one stall).
Kaboom! I'm thinking to myself - "wow that was a close one"

Then - through the crack in the stall door I see a lady waiting patiently for the stall.
Keep in mind that the aforementioned Kaboom was followed by a disgusting stinking symphony of relief.
Then - through the crack in the stall door I see another lady waiting - then another.. soon a line up of about 6 women had formed.

Hmmm what to do. Should I wash my hands after so that at least they think I am clean?
Nope fack it I'm pulling a runner. I wipe up flush and charge out the door like I'm storming the beaches at Normandy.
I yell "Sorry!" and bolt to the car. Luckily my friends were already in the car and we peel out of there in my brown volvo wagon.

It was hilarious.   

[Bun-bun]

1)   I worked as a boat mechanic/rigger in my late teens. The company was getting boats ready for the Annapolis show, and we were all working late to get everything ready. I had been working  on one of the smaller boats, that was on a trailer, and had to get a tool from my box. I jumped over the ide of the boat, and as I did, my jeans cuff caught on the boats cleat leaving me hanging upside down, unable to free myself, no matter what I did. I finally abandoned my dignity completely, and hollered for help. I was eventually freed, but not before everyone in the shop had a good laugh.

2)    Soon after my son turned 13, I was in his room one day, when I noticed a greasy tube of Preparation H without a top on the nightstand. I threw it in his trashcan, and moved on. The next day, I walked in, and the tube was back on the nightstand. I asked him if his hemorhoids were bothering him, and he just blushed, and started stammering. That's when it hit me, 13 year old boy, greasy substance, puberty, DUH! I asked him if he was, ahem, "enjoying himself", and he blushed even harder, so I told him "Alex, don't use this, this stuff is supposed to SHRINK swelling."
I bought him an extra large tub of vaseline the next day.

[MendoDave]

When I was about 19 I had been in a car crash and got hurt. One of the Hurt things was my hand. Because it tried to go through the windshield My right ringfinger Knuckle had been flayed open and then received a few stitches shortly after the crash. So a couple of months later they have me in there for a minor surgery to remove the scar tissue that had built up on the knuckle and that should make it so that I can close my hand all the way you see. Couldn't make a fist.

So doc says were just going to give you a local and do the operation, no problem. Then they get me into one of those gown things you know and then later they have me take it off when the come in to give me a shot in the butt with a "sedative" Tom and Jerry are on the little TV and cat chases mouse, Mouse hits the cat in the head, I cant pay attention to TV anymore because everything is feeling good and my whole body is buzzing.

The Nurses come in to take me to the operation room and say "Hold on to the top sheet while we pull out the bottom sheet" of course I can't hold on to anything very tight bad hand or no on account of the "Sedative" They pulled both sheets off and I think I was sportin a boner. She says something like "I told you to hold on to the top sheet" I'm like, yeah right, whatever...
My main concern after that as they wheeled me into the OR was where's Tom & Jerry?

Shortly after that, it was lights out for about an hour or so.

I just shrugged it off.  I think they do that on purpose.

[vwboomer]

I'm sure I could come up with many, but here's 2. Both moto related of course.

In high school one of the bikes I had was an XT350. After we closed up at work (walmart, back when they DID close) everyone was in the parking lot. I get on and let er rip. Right into one of those parking lot islands going about 30. I contend there was oil there not allowing me to turn around the island. Up and over the island no problem. The landing wasn't so good. Front wheel bucked and tossed me off. I landed with all my weight on my left hand, and my left elbow was smashed into my ribs. So I'm sitting up watching the bike slide away from me in a nice show of sparks and grinding. So what can you do. You jump up and look around (yeah they all saw it) go pick up the bike and baby it the rest of the way home. and piss blood for a week and try never to laugh cuz your ribs are at least fractured if not broken. ouch.

2nd time, on a SecaII. Was over at a friends apartment and when leaving decided to do a burnout cuz the rear tire was toast anyway. They had walked me out so why not?  Didn't give it quite enough gas, and the front wheel lofts into a perfectly balanced wheelie. And I can't do wheelies. So I' heading for the road from the parking lot and finally get it put down, just in time to slide it under the rear of a parked Taurus. Luckily the roadway was clear. So that was embarassing. Funny part is, a lady stopped after we had picked up the bike, rolled down her window, and said "oh thank god I thought you might be my son" and drove off.

[Grampa]

first day of high school

I'm just hitting 6 foot tall, 135 lbs.  sooo skinny , I had to run around the shower to get wet. total dork (just like now)

As I walk across the campus for the first time, I passed a group of older students, mostly cheerleaders, and one of the girls says, "hey, my friend here like you" , trying to embarrass me.

I did that nervous laugh where your mouth is kinda closed...... I blew snot everywhere   

[SKOM]

first day of high school

I'm just hitting 6 foot tall, 135 lbs.  sooo skinny , I had to run around the shower to get wet. total dork (just like now)

As I walk across the campus for the first time, I passed a group of older students, mostly cheerleaders, and one of the girls says, "hey, my friend here like you" , trying to embarrass me.

I did that nervous laugh where your mouth is kinda closed...... I blew snot everywhere   

At the same age I accidentally spat in a girls mouth while talking to her.