help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof

[cutter]

So I live in a pretty close to ghetto part of Providence. I've got a house which has two detached garages (thats 2 buildings) on the other side of my driveway. They are both on the property line and there is a fence behind them that kids (probably 13 or so) climb up on and get on the roofs. A year or so ago when I was away I came back to find a bunch of roof shingles pulled off and all over the place. I called the cops and told them the scenario but they couldn't do anything, and basically they are powerless with anyone under 18 unless they do really serious stuff. Anyways, its been quiet since then. The past week or so each night some kids have been going up there. I can see them from my living room which has a little balcony, so I yell at them and they scurry away, but now they're starting to yell back. Typical bullshit from kids who have no respect for property or adults because they have absentee parents.

So I've been trying to think of things to do to "dissuade" them from going on the roof. I can't easily put some kind of barrier (barbed wire etc) based on the layout, and of course this is sue happy america so any sort of injury to the kids means I'm liable, though not sure they're parents would know how to go about that. That rules out nails, fire and projectiles.... So I've been thinking about coating the roof edges with tar or something that will either be a pregnant dog to get off or make getting onto the roofs more of a hassle than its worth. Side benefit is I'll be able to potentially ID the kids since I can't usually tell who it is.

There's no better group to ask than a bunch of hooligans like this, so what do you guys think? Any recommendations? I also can't go to far in pissing them off because I've got windows, car, motorcycle etc and they have rocks.

[SacDuc]

Buy them each an R1.


sac

[IZ]

Buy them each an R1.


sac

zing!!     

Nice sac!!

er..

I mean..    

[cutter]

Buy them each an R1.


sac

I like the logic, let them teach themselves a lesson

[aaronb]

new hobby, bee keeping.  the roof is a great place to keep you hives. 

[Scottish]

Throw a layer of sand up there......



truthfully you can't do shit to kids. Don't yell at them, call the cops while they are up there. Let the cops come out and deal with it..... if they can get there before the kids get bored and wonder off.

[cutter]

truthfully you can't do shit to kids.

this is perhaps the most frustrating thing I have learned in the 3 years here. Its god damn lord of the flies sometimes. I have won over half the kids with kindness like fixing bikes and things, but the other half moves in and out of here so I don't know who they are.

[Monsterlover]

Paintball gun.

Put up signs that say, "No trespassing.  Violators will be lit up (or whatever term you like that means shot in the ass)

[Grampa]

invite them over to watch Charles Bronson movies.

[jdubbs32584]

I vote for walking outside while they're up there with a couple of GSDs and a shotgun. When you're close enough, chamber a round. Thats usually a pretty frightening sound to a kid.

[BWClark]

I like the tar idea. Sticky tar on the hands is gross, so a nice thick layer on the edge where people will hoist themselves up would be a good deterrent. Maybe you should take to feeding birds on your roof too. Bird shit is unappealing.

The "trespassers will be shot" sign is good to, but if they call your bluff, or get a paintball in the ass, goodness knows what will happen then. At that point, I'd start putting money on the punks.

Maybe come out on crutches and nicely ask if they'll clean your gutters while they're up there. Every time they're up there ask them to do you a favor. Work is what kids hate most.  

[SacDuc]

invite them over to watch Charles Bronson movies.

Do you like movies about gladiators?

sac

[Monsterlover]

I like the tar idea. Sticky tar on the hands is gross, so a nice thick layer on the edge where people will hoist themselves up would be a good deterrent. Maybe you should take to feeding birds on your roof too. Bird shit is unappealing.

The "trespassers will be shot" sign is good to, but if they call your bluff, or get a paintball in the ass, goodness knows what will happen then. At that point, I'd start putting money on the punks.

Maybe come out on crutches and nicely ask if they'll clean your gutters while they're up there. Every time they're up there ask them to do you a favor. Work is what kids hate most. 

See, here's the problem I have with the tar.  If IM the kid that gets tar on his hands the first thing Im going to think is "That make the beast with two backser put tar up here.  make the beast with two backs.  Where's his car. . ."

Then I'd proceed to put palm prints on the car and house.  Smear it all around.

I'd definitely escalate things.

[TiNi]

See, here's the problem I have with the tar.  If IM the kid that gets tar on his hands the first thing Im going to think is "That make the beast with two backser put tar up here.  make the beast with two backs.  Where's his car. . ."

Then I'd proceed to put palm prints on the car and house.  Smear it all around.

I'd definitely escalate things.

see..... you truly are a kid @ heart... & still thinkin' like a kid 

[Monsterlover]

Im so good at bad things, it's hard to stop