Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: KnightofNi on January 10, 2009, 11:55:51 AM

Title: This is so wrong...
Post by: KnightofNi on January 10, 2009, 11:55:51 AM
I wouldn't read this at work, hell, most people prob shouldn't read this. The guy is most definately vile.

however, i found the style of writing funny.


http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml)


i do hope the girl made it home ok though.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: krolik on January 10, 2009, 01:40:19 PM
Quote from: KnightofNi on January 10, 2009, 11:55:51 AM
I wouldn't read this at work, hell, most people prob shouldn't read this. The guy is most definately vile.

however, i found the style of writing funny.


http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml)


i do hope the girl made it home ok though.
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

[puke]

[popcorn]



Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: NAKID on January 10, 2009, 02:10:19 PM
Yeah, I think I'd puke too....
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: KopfjÀger on January 10, 2009, 02:31:00 PM
I guess the merlot, veal and stone crab didn't sit too well.  [cheeky]
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: lethe on January 10, 2009, 02:39:02 PM
See, he didn't need the artificial stuff, she had plenty of the natural lube ready to go.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: superjohn on January 10, 2009, 02:48:23 PM
 [laugh] Oh yeah, I was probably destined for Purgatory just from reading that, but since I am still laughing, I'm definitely going to hell.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: KnightofNi on January 10, 2009, 03:06:30 PM
Quote from: lethe on January 10, 2009, 02:39:02 PM
See, he didn't need the artificial stuff, she had plenty of the natural lube ready to go.

but he had to work to get at it.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: lethe on January 10, 2009, 03:11:15 PM
Quote from: KnightofNi on January 10, 2009, 03:06:30 PM
but he had to work to get at it.
One should always work hard for a nice prize.
Black gold, Texas tea.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: eichh on January 10, 2009, 03:55:54 PM
 [clap] That would work great in a romantic comedy with say Queen Latifa and that skinny kid from the movie Road Trip D.J. something or other. [thumbsup]






Maybe not
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Airborne on January 10, 2009, 04:38:49 PM
This guy is pretty famous, I'm pretty sure he has had a book out and it sold pretty well.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Jarvicious on January 10, 2009, 04:57:37 PM
Oh, Tucker Max.  Try reading some of his other stories.  Like you said, he's a pretty useless human but he's an excellent writer.  I like "The Famous 'Sushi Pants' Story" too. 

If I recall, the book actually did do pretty well.


This guy's not that bad.  He makes fun of a lot of people that write to him, but in his defense a lot of them derve it.  Check out the section on childrens artwork critiques.

http://maddox.xmission.com/ (http://maddox.xmission.com/)
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: tommys67 on January 10, 2009, 05:36:10 PM
I love the line about 2/5th of the way down the page...

Quote
No really--I know that I will burn in hell. At this point, I'm just hoping that my life can serve as a warning to others.

Sounds eerily familiar... 8)
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Speedbag on January 10, 2009, 05:40:31 PM
Quote from: superjohn on January 10, 2009, 02:48:23 PM
[laugh] Oh yeah, I was probably destined for Purgatory just from reading that, but since I am still laughing, I'm definitely going to hell.

Oh yes, be sure to read the others on Tucker Max, as said above. Some great adventures there, reminds me of the bad old, old days.

Like the time we shroomed and went to the titty bar.....  ;)
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: zarn02 on January 10, 2009, 08:41:00 PM
i've read both tucker max's and maddox's books. good times. [thumbsup]
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducatiz on January 10, 2009, 08:56:07 PM
i am sad to say that i should have written this book 20 years ago...   [laugh]
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Buckethead on January 10, 2009, 09:05:58 PM
The Alphabet of Manliness is a worthy read.

Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducatiz on January 10, 2009, 09:14:36 PM
Quote from: Obsessed? on January 10, 2009, 09:05:58 PM
The Alphabet of Manliness is a worthy read.



(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/Maddoxtacoma.jpg/200px-Maddoxtacoma.jpg)
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Buckethead on January 10, 2009, 09:21:29 PM
Quote from: ducatizzzz on January 10, 2009, 09:14:36 PM
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/Maddoxtacoma.jpg/200px-Maddoxtacoma.jpg)

As Maddox would tell you:

"Go fist yerself."
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: KnightofNi on January 11, 2009, 08:33:25 AM
Quote from: Obsessed? on January 10, 2009, 09:05:58 PM
The Alphabet of Manliness is a worthy read.



haha, my girlfriend bought that book and read it before i even met her.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: krolik on January 11, 2009, 11:19:34 AM
Quote from: KnightofNi on January 11, 2009, 08:33:25 AM
haha, my girlfriend bought that book and read it before i even met her.

So what's she doing with you then?  ;D
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: KnightofNi on January 11, 2009, 11:44:11 AM
Quote from: krolik on January 11, 2009, 11:19:34 AM
So what's she doing with you then?  ;D

i got her fooled. shhhhhh

[laugh] [laugh]
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: NeufUnSix on January 12, 2009, 08:36:16 AM
Funny thing is I've heard this yarn over many a beer at University. Everyone claims it has happened to "a friend' or a "friend of a friend" etc. Sometimes they tack on a bit about the girl getting off on the nastyness. Or switch it around so it involves a strap on...

My point is I suspect he may just be retelling an old tale rather than relating a real experience. Or maybe my dipshit drinking buddies were just stealing his story.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: cyrus buelton on January 12, 2009, 08:45:26 AM
I've been reading Tucker Max for about 5 years now, he has some funny shit.

Sushi Pants is one of his best stories or the one where he makes his death drink and goes to a hockey game or the time an ex-girflriend tried to sue him
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: metallimonster on January 12, 2009, 08:51:11 AM
This story reminded me of one of my favorite lines from a movie:

Billy Bob in Bad Sant "You aint gonna shit right for a month!"
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: OverCaffeinated on January 12, 2009, 09:25:49 AM
I don't' know what the big deal is. Sounds like the everyday sexcapades of a good Brazilian party.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: He Man on January 12, 2009, 10:08:33 AM
Quote from: NeufUnSix on January 12, 2009, 08:36:16 AM
My point is I suspect he may just be retelling an old tale rather than relating a real experience. Or maybe my dipshit drinking buddies were just stealing his story.


OR it could be that this is a common thing if she doesnt clean herself first (im talking about douching her asshole out) Porn leads us to believe we can just stick it in. Its so far from the truth... we also tend to think girls dont fart and poo. This is not the case.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: B.Rock on January 12, 2009, 01:25:38 PM
I have I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It's a freakin' hilarious book. Movie coming out soonish.
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: KnightofNi on January 12, 2009, 04:47:46 PM
Quote from: OverCaffeinated on January 12, 2009, 09:25:49 AM
I don't' know what the big deal is. Sounds like the everyday sexcapades of a good Brazilian party.

i need to party in brazil... [laugh]
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducatiz on January 12, 2009, 06:22:20 PM
Quote from: He Man on January 12, 2009, 10:08:33 AM

OR it could be that this is a common thing if she doesnt clean herself first (im talking about douching her asshole out) Porn leads us to believe we can just stick it in. Its so far from the truth... we also tend to think girls dont fart and poo. This is not the case.

i know girls fart and poo

i saw Two Girls and a Cup

PS.. the term is not "asshole douching" it is "enema".. get it right!
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducpainter on January 12, 2009, 06:59:41 PM
did some one say asshole?

He's here now. [thumbsup]

I hate all of you...

get off my make the beast with two backsing lawn. ;D
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducatiz on January 12, 2009, 07:04:15 PM
(http://www.bonkersinstitute.org/showpics/thorazsenile.gif)

(http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/upload/2006/11/Thorazine.jpg)
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducpainter on January 12, 2009, 07:10:00 PM
Quote from: ducatizzzz on January 12, 2009, 07:04:15 PM
(http://www.bonkersinstitute.org/showpics/thorazsenile.gif)

(http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/upload/2006/11/Thorazine.jpg)
Think what you want...

but...

Don't make the beast with two backs with me tonight 'tizzz...

Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: NAKID on January 12, 2009, 07:40:14 PM
Uhhh, Nate, you started it... ;D
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: ducpainter on January 12, 2009, 07:46:59 PM
Quote from: NAKID on January 12, 2009, 07:40:14 PM
Uhhh, Nate, you started it... ;D
perspective
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Monsterlover on January 12, 2009, 09:19:56 PM
Quote from: B.Rock on January 12, 2009, 01:25:38 PM
I have I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It's a freakin' hilarious book. Movie coming out soonish.

+1

Best book I ever bought.

There aren't more. . .

are there?
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: Big Troubled Bear on January 12, 2009, 11:41:39 PM
You are so right, this is WRONG :o
Title: Re: This is so wrong...
Post by: B.Rock on January 13, 2009, 12:14:47 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on January 12, 2009, 09:19:56 PM
+1

Best book I ever bought.

There aren't more. . .

are there?
Assholes Finish First is supposed to be out late this year.