What's the funniest prank that you've ever pulled on a coworker?
(http://www.album-art.net/art/video/movies/o/office_space.jpg)
A bunch of years ago, I was working at a shop on a big mold tool program (carbon fiber wings and such). As that program started to wind down, a fellow manufacturing engineer, Ed, started joking that he was going to get laid off, as he had been hired specifically for his experience in this technology. We joked about it for a while, all in good fun. Then, I ended up on the swing shift, keeping tabs on some big parts we had on a machine. Well, there were times that I didn't have lots to do, and I started looking for trouble I could start.
One night I decided to pack all of Ed's stuff into cardboard boxes and stack them on his desk, so he would see them first thing in the morning. I made sure I was gone before anybody got there. The word I heard, later, was that Ed saw the boxes, flipped out and started stomping through the plant looking for our manufacturing V.P. Luckily, a guy who knew what I was up to, stopped Ed before he could give the V.P. what for and walk out. [laugh] Had some good laughs about that one.
at my old firm, i had an office next to this fat guy who would loudly belch after lunch. and not just once, but for the next 10-15 minutes. you could hear it down the hall, and having our doors next to each other made it so i could hear it loudly -- when i was on the phone, people could hear it.
the walls between us were not permanent, they were the kind that get put up for office division -- full height to the ceiling, but they are hollow for wiring and can be taken down.
i got sick of his belching. it was nauseating.
i finally opened up the wall and put a small speaker inside one of the metal tracks that held the wall up and screwed it to the metal frame. i ran the wires to my desktop PC.
it worked far better than planned. the metal frame carried the sound of pigs oinking so you couldn't tell where the sound came from.
every time he burped out loud, i hit the hotkey i made for a WAV file, and his burp would be answered by a pig going WREE WREEE OOOOIINK WREEEEEEEE
he had building services in the office several times, they could not find the source of the sound. of course, i didn't do it every time he burped after a while.
...but it was hilarious listening to him talk to building services complaining about "pig noises" and having to demonstrate his burping to get the pigs to answer..
i never told anyone at work that it was me.
[beer]
That's great izzzz!
JM
I served a machinist apprenticeship in a large plant back in the 70's. Machinist's are know for make the beast with two backsing with their co-workers.
So anyway a couple of defintions; Dykem Blue = a thin blue spray paint used for laying out work, Prussian Blue = a purple vasaline like stuff that is resitant to most solvents and cleaning agents.
We were working the lathe line, an aisle way with 20 or so lathes on each side. Ricky another apprentice was running the lathe in front of mine.
Early in the morning I heated a paper clip with a Bic lighter and sealed the nozzle on a can of shut, then I drilled a new outlet pointed backwards in the nozzle stem on a can of Dykem Blue. This can was set aside for future use.
All morning and into the afternoon every chance I got, I would apply liberal amounts of Prussian Blue to Ricky's lathe ( clutch lever, feed lever,...) and under the draw handles of his toolbox.
After second break, Ricky at this point is livid, I grab the special can of Dykem and walk over to to Ricky shaking the can loudly the whole way. Explaining that I felt bad about everthing I had done that day. I hand him the can, go spread eagle with my hands against the wall, and tell him to give it his best shot. He mashes down on the nozzle, doesn't notice the lack of blueing on my back until blueing is dripping off his elbow. Of course there were about 30 or so other machinist and apprentices on the lathe line who had been watching all day, they all broke up laughing.
back in the days we had unix stations, we could run remote applications on other peoples machines if you new their machine name. We had a lot of fun running audio scripts with "I love porn" and other vulgar messages.
mitt
Worked in a warehouse pulling orders and the like. We had a very heavy duty shrink wrapper that will come into play later in the story.
Lunch time you ALWAYS took your clipboard, keys, pens and utility knife with you otherwise the following would happen...
Wrap clipboard in shrink wrap then wrap it in tape so it looks like a giant ball. Wrap pens and keys in another tape ball and then take the utility knife and wrap in another tape ball. The utility knife one would then usually be suspended from a webbing of tape above the seat from the cage on the forklift.
Our warehouse supervisor was also a VP of the company we worked for. Someone once made the mistake of dong the tape ball to him one day when he was helping pull orders. At lunch, that persons forklift had the forks removed, and then the forklift was place on the shrink wrapper and top to bottom completely. The perp's other gear was tape balled and then the VP took that mess and suspended it from the ceiling 25 feet up using a high lift.
A note was then taped to the shrink wrap ball that was the forklift stating simply, "I am the VP for a reason."
I worked in an engineering office where a lot of guys chewed Copenhagen, including my office mate.
During a softball tournament a month or so prior to this, he had broken the bone in his upper arm. It was a spiral fracture, so he had a "clamshell" device on which kept his right arm immobilized next to his body.
One afternoon when he was out I grabbed his can of Cope and sprinkled a fair amount of Cayenne pepper in it, and shook it up. He returned, grabbed his can, and headed out the door to go to a meeting with the City. He wasn't supposed to be driving due to the clamshell, and the fact that our company cars were stick shifts, but he was sick of having to get rides, so this day he said make the beast with two backs it and drove.
So after the meeting he was sitting at a stoplight, waiting to get on the freeway...a circular "clover leaf" style on-ramp. While at the light he thought a chew sounded good and threw one in...followed by the light turning green. Apparently he got half way up the on-ramp before his lip started burning pretty bad. Unfortunately for him, since he only could use one arm and he needed to steer AND shift with it, there wasn't much he could do to relieve the burning. Apparently he stuck his head out the window, and attempted to spit out the chew, while driving/shifting, and dropped it down the side of the car and his shirt! [laugh] [laugh] Everyone in the office was laughing their asses off when he told the story after he got back. [laugh]
I never ever left my Cope unattended from that day forward. ;D
A few years ago when I was still living in California I caught a big black widow spider and put it in a jar. For some reason I brought it to work one day and sat it on my desk for all to see. My supervisor at the time was a woman known to be terrified of spiders. She remarked about it sitting on my desk and asked if that was safe to have around. I assured her it was. The next day I found a black spider-ring thing one of my sons had. I cut off the ring part, released the black widow at the back of the yard and put the fake spider inside the jar. Naturally I thought it would be a great idea to bring it in to work the next day. I carried the jar into my supervisor's office with the lid off. I pretended to be mad at her about something and flicked the spider at her. She flipped the make the beast with two backs out...I shoulda been fired for harassment. Fortunately she could take a joke. [evil]
Quote from: Blackout on January 20, 2009, 11:39:37 AM
A few years ago when I was still living in California I caught a big black widow spider and put it in a jar. For some reason I brought it to work one day and sat it on my desk for all to see. My supervisor at the time was a woman known to be terrified of spiders. She remarked about it sitting on my desk and asked if that was safe to have around. I assured her it was. The next day I found a black spider-ring thing one of my sons had. I cut off the ring part, released the black widow at the back of the yard and put the fake spider inside the jar. Naturally I thought it would be a great idea to bring it in to work the next day. I carried the jar into my supervisor's office with the lid off. I pretended to be mad at her about something and flicked the spider at her. She flipped the make the beast with two backs out...I shoulda been fired for harassment. Fortunately she could take a joke. [evil]
I would've taken a swing at you. I hate spiders.
While building a house, my wiseass job foreman decided he wanted to contradict me in front of the subs, basically trying to make a shortcut repair instead of tearing something out that was flawed. Pissed me off.
He ate some weird Chinese food that day and visited the Porta-John at least 6 times. The last time he went in, as soon as I heard the door latch, I lit a 100 pack of Thunder Bomb firecrackers that I kept in my truck for such occasions, and dropped them down the vent in the Porta John roof. The smoke, the splashing of nasty blue/brown/yellow water and a sawed off little Hondurean falling out the front of the porta john with his pants halfway down brings a chuckle every time I think about it.
After the smoke cleared and the pants were pulled up, I asked him if he still thought we could "get away with" a built up post instead of a solid wood post.
After enduring a few weeks of pranks from the other cops on our shift (my partner thought if we let it pass they would quit) we finally got tired of it.
We waited until they got dispatched to the hospital to guard a prisoner that was in the ER. We logged ourselves on the computer as out at some location on the west side of town and then hauled ass to the east side where the ER was. I happened to have a fart bomb (like you get from the ice cream truck) in my possession. All of our cars are keyed the same so the fart bomob went under the passenger seat and the doors were all locked. Then all the door handles got a liberal dousing of pepper spray.
An hour later they showed up at the main station. With eyes red, and noses running, they proceeded to tell everyone what had just happened to them. They got into their car and were shocked at the smell. They immediately tried to cover their noses until they could get the smell out of the car. This of course transfered the pepper spray from the door handles to their faces. Needless to say they never messed with us again.
I worked in a "boiler room" type operation with 5-7 other guys, 80+ hour workweeks were typical, with the other time spent together drinking...
except for 1 guy... who was kind of a tool. He REALLY loved his food. He would make this sandwich every day. It was a work of art, his pride & joy. He would go on and on about how much he was going to enjoy devouring said sandwich. Seriously, to hear him talk about it, it was like sex for him.
one day, he was going through his foreplay/ritual/lead-up to intercourse with said sandwich, whipped it out, then stopped, and announced 'I gotta go take a big dump, so i can enjoy my sandwich properly", and LEAVES his sandwich out in the open, all lonely & alone... sitting on his desk.
I get up, stroll over, gently unwrap, and take the BIGGEST F*7%-N BITE I can, gently wrap it back up, give it a little pat, and go sit down, awaiting his return, still chewing & thinking to myself, Damn, that IS one fine sandwich! Everyone in the room is cracking up...
He returns, sits back down, begins to unwrap, and... the look on his face, before he explodes in anger, was priceless.
When I worked as a Audi tech we would do all kinds of pranks.
The standard wipe down the handles of someones tools with lube, honk the horn while they're under the hood, all sorts of things.
My favorite was putting a air hose coupler into the cap of a empty bottle of windshield fluid and then attaching the hose to it and throwing it under a car or putting it next to someone working. Man those things are loud when they explode.
Many years ago, I worked at a car dealership. One of the parts dept clerks was dating one of the mechanics....... everybody knew it, but they pretended like they could not stand each other. The mechanic was a total asshole, nobody in the shop liked the guy. The clerk was a nice girl, very churchish, but had huge self worth issues. So in an attempt to give her a lil push away from him, and to get back at him for be'n a dick, a few of us got together and set him up. One of the lot guys found a shitload of porn in a newly acquired used car. Real gross stuff. The mechanic would often walk next door to have lunch, so one day while he was out, we hid a few of the magazines under the passenger seat of his car. The plan had been to drop hints to her about his secret addiction to porn, but later that night, when the two were out, driving to one of their secret dates, the magazines slid out under the passenger seat, hitting her feet. [laugh]
Same dealership..... I would take my lunch to work with me all the time. About once or twice a week, stuff would come up missing from my lunch. Mostly sandwiches. Back then, be'n poor, I ate a ton of pb&js.
After a couple of weeks of finding shit missing, I decided I'd had enough. My brother in-law at the time owned a dental lab, so I hit him up for some of those tablets that turn your teeth purple (to show you where plaque is). I crushed them up and added them to a red raspberry and peanutbutter sammich. The pig in the office was easy to spot that afternoon. [laugh]
While on the way to Reno, on vacation with a buddy of mine, we both work at UPS, we called our manager and told him we were snowed in at Reno and couldn't make it in to work that day. We later learned that the manager ran around for 20 minutes looking for someone to fill in for us before someone else clued him in that we were both on vacation.
Quote from: krolik on January 20, 2009, 03:37:07 PM
While on the way to Reno, on vacation with a buddy of mine, we both work at UPS, we called our manager and told him we were snowed in at Reno and couldn't make it in to work that day. We later learned that the manager ran around for 20 minutes looking for someone to fill in for us before someone else clued him in that we were both on vacation.
NICE!
I worked at a Yamaha/Ducati dealer as a salesman for a short spell in NM. We had this green-as-hell 18 y/o working there and he would buy any story that you would give him. Sooooo.....the Mgr made up one about having to go to another dealership to pick up a bike and ride it back to our store. Then, the mgr went on about how they were cutting costs and had to take a moped. The 18 y/o agreed to ride 'cupcake' on a pink moped...the whole thing was a farce but the mgr rode around the parking lot just quick enough so the kid couldn't jump off ...... and so we could take a picture of him! [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Forgot about my baggage handler stories. ;D
Bags are kept in "bins" underneath the plane for those unaware of the terminology.
Whenever we got a noob we'd tell them the plane coming in had a shit load of backs to be loaded, and the bins weren't large enough, so we needed a "bin stretcher". Ours of course was out on loan, so we'd send them around to another airline to ask to borrow one...theirs would be on loan as well, so they'd send them to another airline...and so on. Typically took them about 30-45 minutes before they made it back. The smart ones figured it out after the 1st stop. [laugh]
They tried it on me, but being an airplane junkie I knew they were full of shit. [thumbsup]
I'm in the military, and you have to use your ID card to log into computers. You also need your ID to get onto base and get to work.
If you leave the shop (say, for a smoke break) with your ID still in the computer, it WILL get make the beast with two backsed with.
Aside from the "man-papering" and home-page changes (NAMBLA?) on your log-in, your ID itself becomes fair game.
I've seen them taped to the ceiling. I've seen them wrapped in tape and dunked into the collection bin of the paper shredder. I've seen them drawn on with markers, permanent and non. I've even seen them encased in 17 sheets of adhesive laminate.
My personal best was to peel the label off a soda bottle and cut a small slit, slide the ID inside, tape up the slit, replace the label, fill the bottle with water, and put it in the freezer. If they get to it quickly, its not too hard to get out. If it freezes solid, it can take a while.
The best I've ever seen, tho, was one guy who took a soda can and did something similar. He cut a slit in the bottom, put the card in, and then took the can down to the solder shop and had them seal it up. He didn't even have to put water in it. He just held onto the can for the rest of the day, occasionally "taking a drink." At the end of the day, when everyone was getting ready to go home and the guy who's ID was in the can had been looking for it for about 2 1/2 hours, he simply threw the empty can at the him. The look of shock, anger, and "why didn't I think of that" was priceless.
he wrapped my car. i couldn't let that go unpunished
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff167/kngtofni/peanuts.jpg)
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff167/kngtofni/morepeanuts.jpg)
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff167/kngtofni/stuffed.jpg)
you can see the date on the pics is 2004. he just got rid of the exploder in early summer of 08. he was still finding peanuts.
it's the gift that keeps on giving. [thumbsup]
Quote from: KnightofNi on January 20, 2009, 04:34:33 PM
he wrapped my car. i couldn't let that go unpunished
Well played, sir. Well played.
Quote from: Obsessed? on January 20, 2009, 04:40:49 PM
Well played, sir. Well played.
A true classic. [clap]
Did that to a buddy's shower enclosure once, but never got around to filling a car - everyone was smart enough to lock up.
Paging mother to the thread.
Mother
Paging Mother
(firefighters have too much time on their hands and probably hands down have had the best pranks I have ever heard)
many moons ago I scared the shit of of a friend of mine at work, old Bob.Bob passed away early last year and Humanity lost a good man .
Anyway,Bob would always sit in his 1960's suburban after lunch and take a short nap.One day I decided to pull my semi in front of his car and park about 10 feet from his front bumber.
I then got everyone from the warehouse/office to come and witness bob shithimself.
As he dozed peacefully like a baby I let off both airhorns.He awoke and all he could see was the front of a semi about ten feet in front of him. His eyes were as wide as the windshield and seeing him grab the steering wheel and trying to turn it with no power was hysterical. [laugh]
He realised he had not fallen asleep while driving and he called me all the cu*ts under the sun for a week.He was madder than a wet hen.
Laugh?
We make the beast with two backsing shit ourselves laughing it was absolutely hilarious.
In retrospect I was lucky Bob did not die from heart failure right there.
I have fond memories of a good ,hard working man who is missed.
Quote from: Speedbag on January 21, 2009, 04:33:16 AM
A true classic. [clap]
Did that to a buddy's shower enclosure once, but never got around to filling a car - everyone was smart enough to lock up.
he locked his up too. but he had the keypad on the door and we figured out the code. we lso knew where the spare key was so we could open the sunroof
Quote from: squidwood on January 21, 2009, 05:05:08 AM
many moons ago I scared the shit of of a friend of mine at work, old Bob.Bob passed away early last year and Humanity lost a good man .
Anyway,Bob would always sit in his 1960's suburban after lunch and take a short nap.One day I decided to pull my semi in front of his car and park about 10 feet from his front bumber.
I then got everyone from the warehouse/office to come and witness bob shithimself.
As he dozed peacefully like a baby I let off both airhorns.He awoke and all he could see was the front of a semi about ten feet in front of him. His eyes were as wide as the windshield and seeing him grab the steering wheel and trying to turn it with no power was hysterical. [laugh]
He realised he had not fallen asleep while driving and he called me all the cu*ts under the sun for a week.He was madder than a wet hen.
Laugh?
We make the beast with two backsing shit ourselves laughing it was absolutely hilarious.
In retrospect I was lucky Bob did not die from heart failure right there.
I have fond memories of a good ,hard working man who is missed.
It's in english...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9I6uomTqHw&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9I6uomTqHw&feature=related)
Aside from your normal pranks like relocating cubes into managers offices, etc. By far the one that turned out the best/ funniest was this.
The office only had 1 guy that really annoyed everyone - Tucker. One morning Tucker went to the mens room and left his phone sitting on his desk. We took the phone and put it in the ceiling over the cube next to his. We spent the rest of the day calling it. He would go mad, tearing shit up and digging for it every time it rang. If I ever had a doubt about Pavlov and his dogs they were erased that day.
Had a boss that made a bunch of work over the weekend while he went home (aka Office Space). We took the opportunity to break into one of his bottom large drawers, remove everything, line it with plastic, fill it with water and went and bought a bunch of gold fish to put in the drawer.
The funny part was, on Monday he thought we did it because of our devotion and care for him, and he called in all the other execs to brag. But the truth was, we did it because we were PISSED!
Quote from: COWBOY on January 21, 2009, 11:39:41 AM
Aside from your normal pranks like relocating cubes into managers offices, etc. By far the one that turned out the best/ funniest was this.
The office only had 1 guy that really annoyed everyone - Tucker. One morning Tucker went to the mens room and left his phone sitting on his desk. We took the phone and put it in the ceiling over the cube next to his. We spent the rest of the day calling it. He would go mad, tearing shit up and digging for it every time it rang. If I ever had a doubt about Pavlov and his dogs they were erased that day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wPn5JsZiMg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wPn5JsZiMg)
Quote from: COWBOY on January 21, 2009, 11:39:41 AM
Aside from your normal pranks like relocating cubes into managers offices, etc. By far the one that turned out the best/ funniest was this.
The office only had 1 guy that really annoyed everyone - Tucker. One morning Tucker went to the mens room and left his phone sitting on his desk. We took the phone and put it in the ceiling over the cube next to his. We spent the rest of the day calling it. He would go mad, tearing shit up and digging for it every time it rang. If I ever had a doubt about Pavlov and his dogs they were erased that day.
The clip is kinda long, the good stuff doesn't start until about 1:00 in. You gotta see this if you don't watch the office
http://www.youtube.com/v/99odtbgUScE&hl=en&fs=1 (http://www.youtube.com/v/99odtbgUScE&hl=en&fs=1)
Quote from: Jarvicious on January 21, 2009, 04:56:29 PM
The clip is kinda long, the good stuff doesn't start until about 1:00 in. You gotta see this if you don't watch the office
http://www.youtube.com/v/99odtbgUScE&hl=en&fs=1 (http://www.youtube.com/v/99odtbgUScE&hl=en&fs=1)
LOL. I love the Office (especially the prank episodes - my personal fav is the one where he puts nickels in dwights hand set over the course of a week and then takes them all out resulting in Dwight smacking himself with the phone.)
The result was about the same just minus the ring tune. The high pitch ring made it sound like it was right next to him or even under the desk. He literally took his cube apart even cutting into a "wall" that had a loose piece of fabric up top because he swore it was coming from there. ;D
One of the funniest days of work ever.
Sorry about the uber-derby izzzz :). My internet has been less than stellar lately.
Plus Lost is on. Everything else - backburner
Quote from: GotDuc on January 21, 2009, 04:50:52 AM
Paging mother to the thread.
Mother
Paging Mother
(firefighters have too much time on their hands and probably hands down have had the best pranks I have ever heard)
There are some classic ones that get redone on a continuous basis...some daily
Gold fish in the humidifier on the main O2 along with adamant denial makes psych Pt's cry :)
wait for the guy that has 3 cups of coffee before his shift and put crickets in the maintenance hatch on his ambulance
Turn siren on and kill the Cole hersee is a great way to jump start the old timers when they start the engine
toss random hardware under an Engine and point it out the the mechanic, it will occupy him for hours
Staple sleeves closed on bunker gear, switch L & R boots to R & L, Freeze bunker gear, dog shit in gloves...etc etc
Use probie to demonstrate C-spine, spinal immobilization, and extremity taping techniques...leave probie in it and propped up on side of building for a few hours
when probie is done backing a rig without a backer, one guy lays under the rig and another freaks out "oh my god you just hit the LT"
Convinced a probie to jump off the roof into a snowbank, he did, he got stuck up to his shoulders, we left him there
Sealed Sup's POV with Evidence tape and had the police do a Evidence Siezure and Chain of custody report and left a copy on his desk
xylocaine under door handles
IV bag under a front tire with a drip set through the firewall and taped under the steering column pointed at ones junk
advertise chiefs POV for sale
Some SOB winched my Jeep into a tree and stole my doors on a snowy night
Toss a open condom wrapper in a married guys car and snicker when he says he and the wife are going to couples counseling because she is a lying whore
but a fine one that still makes me chuckle
we put flowers in one of the old timers hands who was asleep in a recliner
took pictures, photochopped them, and sent out a death notification... ;D
OUCH....I'm glad I don't work in your station!! Although we have done the probie on the spine board trick quite often...
Once while in high school I was working at a pizza joint. One of the girls i worked with was constantly messing with my food. Hiding jalapenos in the pizzas I ordered, putting hot wing sauce in my drinks while I wasn't looking. I always let it slide. Never reacted. (Which really pissed her off.) I even finished a Sprite I had started though it was full of wing sauce. The last straw happened when I was not at work. My brother and sister ordered a pie to be delivered to our house. This girl intercepted the order and spread a whole box of Nerds on the dough before the sauce. My siblings told me about it when I got home later.
So the next day I told the manager/owner what I wanted to do. He agreed with enthusiasm. The next time she was scheduled to work the boss took her out to stall..ur uh, pass out coupons. I was working and i called in a couple of guys who were off that day to come help me. We went out to the lot and commenced in wrapping her entire car with shrink wrap. Top to bottom, front to back. Sealed with a good bit of Vasaline. When she returned I could her her scream from the lot even though I was in the back of the store. i took her two hours to get it all off. I'll admit it wasn't the most creative prank. But it did have a great result.
Mess with me, I'm good. Mess with my family, your goin down.
My 2 favorites...
Being in the AF new guys get messed with on a regular basis. The first time I was stationed in Italy we had some old crappy Dodge trucks to use at work. A great gag is to take three large zip-ties and put them on the drive shaft up in the channel so the loose ends flap and slap the channel. Pretty funny seeing someone try and figure out where the sound is coming from as they drive but nothing when still...
While I was stationed in Louisiana we had a new guy that "knew it all". I was running the night shift and he came to shift about a month after getting there. The first night I asked the shift if anyone had done the "Air Quality Sample" for the month yet as it was the ~5th. A couple guys say "uh, no" so I ask new guy to take care of it. Since he wasn't sure what to do I send someone to train him. They grab a garbage bag and go to the parking lot so new guy can capture enough air for a good sample. He returns with a full bag of air and we explain all the documentation that needs to be done...Since the bio-environmental shop is dayshift only we left it in the breakroom for "dayshift to turn it". Next day the bag is still there and new guy points out that it was not turned in, I act mad and tell him that another sample has to be taken since it must be less than 24 hours old. So off he goes, fully trained in taking Air Samples. Second bag filled, documentation complete again leaving for dayshift to turn in. Again, next day and bag is still there and new guy kinda rolls his eyes at me like..."what does dayshift do all day". I make up a story that they tried to turn it in but there was a problem in the readings. I asked him if he used his hand to open the bag as sticking his hand inside to open it? He says he may have and I tell him that was really stupid due to all the chemicals and oils on the skin it was lucky we weren't wearing our gas mask! So off he goes to take another sample (3rd time, 3 days in a row). Finally, out of excuses I show up early and get rid of the bag before new guy gets there. About a month later we are sitting in a briefing and new guy makes a comment on how stupid it was and I tell him "about as stupid as taking an Air Quality Sample three days in a row..." He learned his lesson about acting like he knew everything!
I sent an email out to a group of 20 about something serious, and I get this one guy who replies with a wise ass comment. I hit reply to his email and then copy and paste the names of everyone on his original reply. I write back "I can't believe you wrote that and hit "reply all".
He shit himself asking me my advice on what to do and how to craft an appology letter - I stopped him right before he sent out the apology and everyone procedded to laugh for about an hour.
There was a guy who would always hop in his truck, crank it up, and haul ass through 1st and slam it to 2nd out of the parking lot every day.
Never wore his seat belt either.
He hopped in the truck, took off as fast as he could in 1st, and slammed his foot down on the clutch (which happened to be taped to the brake pedal) and he went to stopping quick. Threw him into the windsheild too...
After rereading this thread and ROFLMAO.
I have come to a few conclusions.
1) Use public transportation if possible.
post #14,#19,#32,#37
2) Be prepared
post #10,#11
3) Wear gloves
post #11,#32
4) When your pants are around your ankles - be afraid be very very afraid
post #10,#26
5) Shrink wrap is quite useful
post #6,#34
7) Don't mess with Mother - Mother is short for Mean Mother make the beast with two backser.
I was inspired so this is what I did this morning:
My coworker stepped away from his computer - I work in the financial services business, and we take security seriously, so you should always lock your computer before stepping away from it - he didn't. I changed his home page to www.nambla.org. 5 minutes later, when he opened IE he was very surprised. Everyone in the office chuckled.
But ten minutes later, I had a flash of genius. I went over to the compliance officer and ask him for his help. He walked in and asked my coworker why he just got a phone call from corporate security about him accessing unauthorized web sites on a work computer - all with a stone cold face. My buddy almost shit himself. The compliance guy left to let him stew for a minute. We finally gave up and told him hes out of the clear, only after letting him sweat for what seemed like an hour!!
There was some construction going on in my building so I grabbed a roll of construction tape. I ran out way to early though or it would have been much better.
(https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3084/2588213378_95a418ae26_o.jpg)
I was hauling the anchor on the boat one day, and upon it's surfacing, discovered my hat had been tied to it.
Bastages.
That police tape thing reminded of a pic I found quite a few years ago. It's been so long, I don't even remember the pretenses under which it occurred, but I figured it was worthy of this thread. I think they even wrapped all the individual coins in foil.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y239/Jervisaurus/FoilOwnage.jpg)
In my teenage years I worked in grocery stores. Boring, menial work. The public on the whole is semi-retarded. Great place to prank co-workers though. Every new bagboy got this one. One of us would convince the new guy to do a "cycle count" on the dairy products in the dairy cooler,generally in the summer months when they are allowed to wear shorts and short sleeve shirts. Did I mention that the cooler is EXTREMELY cold? While said employee was thus engaged, we would keep them company, all the while standing at the open door of the cooler. The cooler has a thermostat located near the door and if you leave the door open long enough, it gets a false temperature reading. Anyways, once the new guy gets all the way to the back of the cooler, we slam the door shut, knowing the door will vacuum seal until the thermostat inside gets back to the "proper" temperature. Generally this results in some poor shmuck being stuck in there for about 5 minutes or so, freezing his junk off. This was all great until one day we took it too far. The new guy goes in... we stand outside the door... and my buddy holds a cigarrette lighter under the thermostat raising the temperature to a new high. 45 minutes later we managed to get the door open and the new guy immediately quit. Hey, it was just minimum wage, not like he was the CEO or anything.
Quote from: Obsessed? on January 20, 2009, 04:20:39 PM
I'm in the military, and you have to use your ID card to log into computers. You also need your ID to get onto base and get to work.
If you leave the shop (say, for a smoke break) with your ID still in the computer, it WILL get make the beast with two backsed with.
the ID? or the computer? I've witnessed... rather cheeky.. emails being sent out by folk who have left their seats unattended (and not locked)
and speakin' of prussian blue... we had this one night shift guy... a regular douchebag, mind you... someone (seriously, not me! honest!) blued the bottom of every latch on his rollaway toolbox one day...
and not blued, like, in order to check a sealing surface, blued... it was seriously slapped on there. like a whole tube.
and seriously, it wasn't me! I'm not that clever :-\
the extent of my work shenenigans was completey duct-taping an apprentice's rollaway while he was on leave.
ok, so it was two rolls of tape...
I think I was in the 3rd year of my apprenticeship before I every used prussian blue in a " textbook fashion ", of course by then I had to go to the tool crib and get yet another tube :-\ .
there is a new one in the works
one that even I find cruel
but the victim monitors me here on the DMF because he is a pathetic make the beast with two backs
so this is a little banner from me, telling you, that yes i know you try to find dirt on me here
and yes you are going to get burned
badly
but not by me
hehe [popcorn]
Hope you have a nice day
prick
Quote from: Mother on January 23, 2009, 11:39:02 PM
there is a new one in the works
one that even I find cruel
but the victim monitors me here on the DMF because he is a pathetic make the beast with two backs
so this is a little banner from me, telling you, that yes i know you try to find dirt on me here
and yes you are going to get burned
badly
but not by me
hehe [popcorn]
Hope you have a nice day
prick
[popcorn]
The best prank can often times be the one you get someone else to pull for you.
While teaching at A&P school (Aircraft maintenance) I had a student that always fell asleep in class. I dropped hints to a couple of other students to have them weave paperclips into the fabric of his chair with wire leads attached to them. As soon as he dosed off, a magneto was attached to the leads and spun up. Lots of volts passing through your seat tends to wake you up in a hurry.
Another student came back with a magneto trying to shock the teacher. Problem was, he didn't fully grasp the concept that he was an integral part of the circuit the way he was holding the mag. Ended up shocking himself instead of me.
A guy I worked with would charge up small capacitors and leave them laying around on his desk for people to pick up.
Anti seize has plenty of similar prank uses to prussian blue...
Two of my co-workers showed up with identical tool boxes. Tons of fun just switching the boxes and watching them cuss that their keys wouldn't work.
Put a small bead of epoxy on the castors for someone's rollaway toolbox and see if they can move it the next day. Whenever the wheel rolls around to that point, it will just lock up and drag.
Wheel chocks under car tires.
Tie down the tail of an aircraft after someone has done their pre-flight.
Unfortunately, I am in a position where I don't get to do pranks anymore. Got to be responsible.
I currently have an "anoyatron" from Thinkeek dot com randomly beeping in one of my colleagues cubes. Battery is supposed to last about three months.
Had to move it once already, he was ready to tear the fire alarm thingies out of the ceiling. I am in on Saturday, he's not here and I chuckle every time it beeps.
He may do me bodily harm when he finds it tho, he's pretty wound up. Best ten buck ya can ever spend.
Quote from: Bigbore4 on January 24, 2009, 07:14:43 AM
I currently have an "anoyatron" from Thinkeek dot com randomly beeping in one of my colleagues cubes. Battery is supposed to last about three months.
Had to move it once already, he was ready to tear the fire alarm thingies out of the ceiling. I am in on Saturday, he's not here and I chuckle every time it beeps.
He may do me bodily harm when he finds it tho, he's pretty wound up. Best ten buck ya can ever spend.
those are fantastic.. even better are the nauseatrons.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on January 24, 2009, 07:28:24 AM
those are fantastic.. even better are the nauseatrons.
Google turned up nothing useful. What's a nauseatron?
Quote from: MrIncredible on January 24, 2009, 08:02:31 AM
Google turned up nothing useful. What's a nauseatron?
Buy one:
http://www.shomer-tec.com/product/sonic-nausea-266.cfm (http://www.shomer-tec.com/product/sonic-nausea-266.cfm)
Or make one:
http://www.freeinfosociety.com/media.php?id=1280 (http://www.freeinfosociety.com/media.php?id=1280)
No comments on the efficacy or how well they work.. [evil]
Quote from: Mother on January 23, 2009, 11:39:02 PM
there is a new one in the works
one that even I find cruel
but the victim monitors me here on the DMF because he is a pathetic make the beast with two backs
so this is a little banner from me, telling you, that yes i know you try to find dirt on me here
and yes you are going to get burned
badly
but not by me
hehe [popcorn]
Hope you have a nice day
prick
The guy I met right? Pathetic make the beast with two backs and prick indeed. I eagerly await the results. [popcorn]
me?
???
[laugh]
I'm gonna enjoy babysitting yer baby 8)
Quote from: JBubble on January 24, 2009, 01:09:55 PM
Aww crap. :o
did I ever tell you about the last time I rode an s2r800? [laugh]
Quote from: bobspapa on January 24, 2009, 01:11:30 PM
did I ever tell you about the last time I rode an s2r800? [laugh]
Get video this time.
If I bring you many gluten free goodies will you spare the moto?
[laugh]
Quote from: MrIncredible on January 24, 2009, 01:13:26 PM
Get video this time.
no doubt..... my mind blocked out the tumbling routine. it would have been great to see it.
Quote from: JBubble on January 24, 2009, 01:15:28 PM
If I bring you many gluten free goodies will you spare the moto?
[laugh]
cash is gluten free
[laugh]
One of the technicians at work decided he was going to sneak this girl he was going on a second date with into the facility (this is a MAJOR no-no). Anyway, dipshit decided to tell some of the other techs of his cunning plan. He was going to take her up to one of the viewing rooms where one can see the satellites.
The other techs, knowing this, waited for him to get up there, and began rotating the satellite (thing of a giant, square box). Anyway, as it went though it's rotation, on the far side was taped a sign that said "Will you marry me?".
Girl spazzed and ran out-was their last date :)
Quote from: MrIncredible on January 24, 2009, 01:31:29 PM
One of the technicians at work decided he was going to sneak this girl he was going on a second date with into the facility (this is a MAJOR no-no). Anyway, dipshit decided to tell some of the other techs of his cunning plan. He was going to take her up to one of the viewing rooms where one can see the satellites.
The other techs, knowing this, waited for him to get up there, and began rotating the satellite (thing of a giant, square box). Anyway, as it went though it's rotation, on the far side was taped a sign that said "Will you marry me?".
Girl spazzed and ran out-was their last date :)
LMAO!
probably my best one was from college...
A bunch of us were hanging around in the common area one night when one of the guys from the floor passed out drunk as he was staggering by. We picked him up, carried him to his room, put him in bed and were walking out of the room when one of the guys stopped and said, "Wait...he's an asshole. Why are we being nice to him?" So we filed back into the room, moved him from the bed to a chair, and took his bed apart. We put it back together in the bathroom, made the bed, put his alarm clock next to him set for 6:45, carried him down and tucked him in. The RA walked in at 6:30 to take his shower and was in the middle of yelling at the guy when the alarm went off.
The same jackass didn't get off so lightly the next time he passed out drunk. Everything in the room was moved out onto the overhang over the front door, complete with extension cords to plug in the TV, stereo, and alarm clock. The RAs didn't even want to know how all that stuff made it out the window....
We had an assload of pranks we used to pull on people. I've worked with the same people throughout the years, just in different companies.
1. "Set the perimeter alarm" - Have a tech pull a new car in for pre-delivery. Tell him he has to pull (some random number) fuse from the underdash box. Then, he has to do some random keycycle/ door lock button presses, then walk around the car 3 times in a set amount of time in order to set the "Perimeter sensor tolerances". Usually, this is done while several other techs are watching, one of which has acquired the second keyfob to the car. Upon the 2nd/3rd lap around the car, the Panic button is pressed, setting off the alarm. Everyone in the shop knows the groan and yell "Aww, you did it wrong".
2. "The squirter" - With the hood up, pull the windshield squirter hose off the nozzle and aim it crotch level towards the outside of the car. Call someone over for a chat and hit the washer button.
3. "Nap time" - One of the old bosses used to like catching techs sleeping in the cars, and would leave a note taped to the steering wheel with something along the lines of "Come see me when you wake up". One of the douchebags that no one liked decided to take an afternoon siesta, so rather than waiting for the boss to come around, another tech wrote him the note and taped it to the steering wheel. When he woke up, he walked up to the boss and started frantically apologizing. Boss-man got a kick out of it.
4. When that same boss retired after 37 years, we decided to give him hell for that week. The company let him take a 2007 Shelby Cobra home for the weekend, so when we pulled it in for cleaning, we had the PCM tech throw a "custom calibration" on it. Including setting a speed limiter (25mph). The boss also liked to wear a tie, dress shirt, and sport coat every day, so we all wore that on his last day. We all brought in our coffee pots from home and hooked them up on our benches (he was a coffee-addict), and had all different flavors of coffee. Best part was we had his personal car "inventoried" for Prototype turn-in, which meant that the flatbed wrecker would come pick it up, and take it to the crusher. He got all the inventory notifications for our vehicle fleet, so he saw the description and got outside just in time to see the wrecker driver anchoring his car to the flatbed. Naturally, it was staged and we wouldn't REALLY crush his car.
5. "SWAT practice" - A couple of us working on a Saturday (weekend work was ONLY our group, no danger of getting in trouble here) decided we'd do a SWAT takedown on the first person who had to use the bathroom. We waited until some poor schmuck headed into the bathroom, waited outside the door for the toilet to flush, then;
Reached in, shut off the lights, and the first guy tossed a firecracker inside.
We were dressed in all black, and had paintball masks on, and water pistols. We did the snake maneuver as soon as the firecracker went off, and proceeded to yell "GET ON THE FLOOR! GET DOWN!", and then soaked him with the water guns.
Of course, we took turns yelling "CLEAR!".
Quote from: fastrt6dakota on January 28, 2009, 05:05:10 PM
5. "SWAT practice" - A couple of us working on a Saturday (weekend work was ONLY our group, no danger of getting in trouble here) decided we'd do a SWAT takedown on the first person who had to use the bathroom. We waited until some poor schmuck headed into the bathroom, waited outside the door for the toilet to flush, then;
Reached in, shut off the lights, and the first guy tossed a firecracker inside.
We were dressed in all black, and had paintball masks on, and water pistols. We did the snake maneuver as soon as the firecracker went off, and proceeded to yell "GET ON THE FLOOR! GET DOWN!", and then soaked him with the water guns.
Of course, we took turns yelling "CLEAR!".
My Auxiliary Security Force Training has a new appeal, 'cept we actually have flashbangs.
I have a feeling this month's "training" will be talked about for a while. [evil]
Quote from: Obsessed? on January 28, 2009, 05:17:46 PM
My Auxiliary Security Force Training has a new appeal, 'cept we actually have flashbangs.
I have a feeling this month's "training" will be talked about for a while. [evil]
Good thing they'll already be in the bathroom. Easier to hose 'em down when they crap themselves.
Call your victim and tell him that you are sending him a fax. From your fax machine send a two or three page document with the words "ASSHOLE" printed in large font across them. Start the fax send and tape each sheet end together to form a cylinder as they come out. Your fax machine will continue to send page after page and the victim will shit themselves wondering how many pages there are!
Quote from: Jumptship on January 28, 2009, 07:10:21 PM
Call your victim and tell him that you are sending him a fax. From your fax machine send a two or three page document with the words "ASSHOLE" printed in large font across them. Start the fax send and tape each sheet end together to form a cylinder as they come out. Your fax machine will continue to send page after page and the victim will shit themselves wondering how many pages there are!
only works if you have a small fax machine that you can do this with, but HILARIOUS
+1 that's awesome [laugh]
(http://www.mikemo.org/junk/arron.jpg)
I've been waiting and in search of an idea to prank a buddy that I work with and finally came up with one and executed it yesterday.
Over the past few years I've been doing a good bit of work with VB and coding has become part of my job in various ways. It's often frustrating, but when you can use coding to do something funny (and actually see it work), it really makes all the effort worth while!
So I hacked my buddies MS Word and implanted a custom script that loads in the background and runs much like a macro when a new document is loaded (when Word opens). I started with the idea that it would be hysterical to have random words appear at random intervals in the document. So I set it so that randomly between 1 and 30 seconds a random swear word would appear! [cheeky]
While it executed perfectly on my PC, I started to think that I could get into some trouble if he didn't see it say JACKASS or ASSHAT while typing or editing a document and he sent it out to someone. So I decided to change the foul language over to short phrases that would be impossible to miss like I SEE YOU or IDIOT or ARE YOU HUNGRY? ect...
Although they aren't as funny as the list of foul words that I had it using, it'll still be a good kick when he discovers it (and I won't get fired for it!!). Part of what makes this so funny is that it could be a few days or longer before he discovers it - so there's potential for me to forget that I did it. But since our offices share a wall, I'll get to hear is confounded reaction!!!!
[laugh]
There's a lot of evil in this thread. Evil but damn funny! [laugh]
I worked at my county's criminal courthouse for years. One of the judges I worked for had been a friend since we were kids. I got the job when won his bench in an election. He and a couple of other judges were good buddies and were constantly make the beast with two backsing with each other and I got to sit back and watch it all. Funny shit.
My judge had bought some sort of raffle ticket to something (can't remember) and the big prize was a new Ford Taurus from a local dealership. One of the other judges somehow saw the ticket long enough to get the number off it. When the day of the raffle drawing arrived the other judge had one of his clerks call my judge and informed him he was the winner of the raffle and for him to come down to the Ford dealership the next morning for the big celebration and to get his new Taurus. Apparently it was an Academy Award winning performance by the clerk.
My "pranked" judge went all over the courthouse telling everyone that he had won the car in the raffle. He excitedly called home to tell the wife and kiddos the good news. He was make the beast with two backsing stoked!!! He couldn't believe his good luck.
Next day his kids go to school telling everyone about Dad winning a new car. He puts his morning court docket on hold and the wife drives him to the dealership for the big party and new car. You guessed it. They looked at him like he was make the beast with two backsing nuts and he starts to argue with them that he was called about the winning ticket. This head banging contest went on for quite a while with the owner of the dealership even getting involved. Ever so slowly it began to sink in that he had been had. Apparently there was a lot of cussing on the drive home and his wife was balling the whole way!
Of course the kids were absolutely furious. They had convinced all their un-believing classmates that it was true, now they had to go back the next day and tell them it was all a big prank on their Dad!! The oldest boy even called the prankster judge and told him he hated him!!! [laugh]
Good stuff... of course the revenge stories are just as good! [thumbsup]
In the relatively early days of Photoshop I was the only one in our department who really knew how to use it, though it had been purchased for the others as well. I took screenshots of co-workers' desktops using their Photoshop program, left the picture open in full screen, and hid the program itself with a keyboard shortcut. They were immobilized and baffled for hours. Didn't forgive me for a while for that one.
Then there's the time I copied my friend's desktop photo of his triplets (he's Costa Rican) while he was on a lunch break, photoshopped a quadruplet onto it, but with my Caucasian adult head on ithe little Coasta Rican baby body. He didn't notice for a couple days and wondered why everyone kept looking over at him and giggling.
Then there's the time I used my Mac to record the sound our department phones made when someone was on their line and another line was trying to call them. I'd play that sound and watch everyone else try to pick up the line. I stopped doing that when I heard my OCD boss pounding the phone key repeatedly from his office while he shouted "it won't let me pick up! It won't let me pick up!" Almost a career limiting move.
Another time I took a family picture with my wife, six year old daughter, and four year old son. I put my face on my son, his face on me, my daughter's face on my wife, and my wife's face on my daughter. Then I framed it and put it in a conspicuous place on my desk. Everyone who saw it complimented it and didn't think twice. Some even picked it up and talked about it, how much my kids had grown, etc. A few looked a bit puzzled, but no one could figure out why they felt unsettled by it.
The gay pride magnetic "sticker" was a bit over the top. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Joel
Well circa 1977. I was about 25 and was working for a large evil corporation that dabbled in overthrow politics in South America. My office was on East 40th street in Manhattan...a stone's throw from the old pre-Disney Times Square...rundown shabby,porn theaters, peep shows, pimps hookers and assorted sundry low-lifes abounded...about 3 crosstown blocks away from our offices.
We had a regional ops manager "Big Ed" probably in his early 60's who loved to spend his lunch hours at the Peeps over there and every once in a while would return with some literature procured from one of the many magazine shops in the area.
For some reason he would alway drop his favorite porn on my desk in an Interoffice envelope...I guess after he had personally expended and choked every last drop of all the prurient masturbatory value out of the publications...
he must have thought I was the sort of person who would appreciate the thoughtfulness and could get a few miles of strokes out of them myself...
sloppy-seconds stroke books...wow..who knows...he knew I was dinging some of the girls in the secretarial ranks and probably thought he could strike up a friendship with me and get the details...kinda creeped me out...but the literature was always interesting if not educational so I never complained...okay so thats the groundwork.......
Anyway...we had a fresh college hire named Joanie...born and raised on some apple orchard in South NJ...farm-fresh...excited to be working in Manhattan...small town girl hits big city of dreams ablah ablah she worked for a manager I didn't care much for in Project Implementations
Joanie shared an office with a odd kind of fellow...John...John was a geek-type engineer...had lived in a Monastery for a decade or so before deciding it wasn't for him...probably did more wanking in one day than Big Ed probably did in a week's worth of Sundays...
but unlike Big Ed, John probably grew wank-weary in the monastery and rejoined the world in the hopes of getting a bride to tug his chain for him John was very tall, lanky and awkward....thick glasses and had trouble with eye-contact when speaking with you...he had a strange pseudo-creepy vibe about him....he was devoid of polish and social adeptness...probably some savage derailment in his developmental years inspired him to seek refuge in a monastery filled with other men...well whatever demons he was wrestling with he seemed to keep them at bay but at great expense to how he came off to other people that were more socially "mainstream"
Joanie took a cautious liking to me...she wasn't stupid and knew I wasn't beyond bending her over a desk if she transmitted the right clear-to-proceed signals...she didn't go there.... so I left her alone and merely cultivated her trust and would help her with her job since she was implementing the projects I had built the engineering packages for
One day she confided in me that sharing an office with John was creeping her out...that he was odd and sometimes she would find him staring at her...she said she was thinking of requesting a different office assignment....I gave her a little background on John and suggested to her that he might think of her often when he was showering...she shuddered and laughed and punched me in the shoulder in that farm-girl sort of way...I assured her she probably had nothing to be concerned about
Anyway...the following week John was off on vacation....Big Ed had just dropped off a new magazine for me to appreciate...
I could only surmise that Big Ed's sexual nature was deconstructing, devolving since the porn he was dropping on my desk was becoming more and more misogynistic (is that even possible?)...or perhaps he was just carefully letting me deeper into his odd world since I never commented on his gifts nor complained other than to say "Yah, got it Ed, left it in a Men's Room stall for others to appreciate"...to which Ed would respond by chomping down on his cigar and grinning......
I was covering John's projects the week he was off...he had left his folders with me in a pile on my desk....for some reason I was looking at his stack and the latest porn in the interoffice envelope next to it and I was struck by a bolt of mischief....
I took the porn and one of John's folders and went over to the office he shared with Joanie...she wasn't in so I dropped the porn in his upper left desk drawer and then dropped a project folder on top of it. Joanie came in an hour or so later...so I gave her a few minutes to settle in and then dialed her extension...she answered..."Hey Joanie this is Gerry can you do me a favor?".....
"Hi Gerry, sure what do you need?"
"I'm covering for John this week and he neglected to give me the Skadden-Arps Project folder"
"Oh...do you know where it is?"
"I think it is in one of his desk drawers if it isn't on his desk"
"OK Gerry, no problem, if it's here I'll find it"
Five or so minutes pass and Joanie comes into my office...folder in her shaking apple-picking hand....all blood has been drained from her face and neck...pale dead white and looking somewhat shocked...well horribly shocked...she hands me the folder and collapses into the chair in front of my desk
"Can I close the door?"
"Sure Joanie...what's wrong?...you look pale are you ill"
"well I ah, um, don't know how to say this but when I was getting the folder from John's drawer I saw something in there that was really disturbing"
"Really? what? his robes from the monastery?"
"ummm no it was a magazine from one of those Times Square places...remember I said I didn't feel comfortable sharing an office with him?...I know why now"
"Gee Joanie...I guess your instincts were right...you should probably ask for a different office before he comes back...what was in the magazine?"
"I'm going to ask to be moved...but I don't want to bring up why...its too embarrassing...I didn't know people did things like that to each other"
"You're in the city Joanie...consider it an education and if you're uncomfortable with the issue let me speak with your manager about moving your office closer to mine since you are managing most of my projects anyway"
now recovering....... "Would you? can you do that? you are such a sweetie!!"
"Consider it done"
Well Joanie got a new office....I removed the porn from John's desk and placed it in the Mens Room in a stall and life went on.
Years later around 1982 or so I ran into Joanie at some Wall Street Technology Association's annual holiday gathering...they would invite key Technology Company employees to the gathering...free drinks and a hot spread and the possibility of hooking up.....she saw me across the room and came over to say hello...
we shared a few drinks...we had both left our former employer behind and went on to new jobs so we spent a few minutes getting caught up....then I started reminiscing about the days at our old shop....I figured I would lead her back to that awful unsettling moment again...
she saw it coming and said " Do you ever run into John?"....
I said "Yes, he is a key person at the XYZ company now...you just said you're working that account right?...surprised you haven't run into him yet...he is a key decision-maker up the chain"
Joanie started to turn dead pale again in front of me...like she had 5 or so years back....I burst into laughter...I couldn't play the straight man anymore....she punched me in the shoulder..."You bastard.... You're playing me right?"
"Joanie I have been playing you since I stuck Big Ed's porno in John's desk drawer for you to find"
Disbelief on her face...I wasn't sure if I was going to get a drink in the face or what...and then she broke into a big Pollyanna smile, shaking her head and laughing...kicked my shin and punched my shoulder again...harder this time...then I caught that look I never saw or noticed before in her eyes as we stood facing each other
"What do you say we leave this place and find someplace quieter..get caught up?"
"Gerry I am engaged now...we're not going there...besides you had your chance back then but were too busy"
"Joanie are you playing ME now?"
"Gerry you'll never know that now will you?"
She just smiled at me...not sure what kind of smile it was...not wistful, not wicked...couldn't read it
then she tapped my glass with hers and said she had to go meet up with her fiance
we wished each other well and for the best of holidays