It's all over but the crying... no, I didn't wreck my Monster. I'm getting divorced. Five years of marriage down the drain, and one three year old boy who won't get to see his father very often. To top it all off, I've still got another six months left in Afghanistan.
My R&R is only two weeks away, but now I get to spend that time doing paperwork and dividing up the finances (oh, and no sex with the wife). I plan on spending at least a week in Kentucky trying to sort things out, and then a week in Florida visiting family and going to the beach.
If anyone knows any moderately attractive women who are willing to properly welcome a soldier home from combat, let me know. This is bullshit. FML...
sorry to hear dude. thats gotta not be cool to come back from serving your country and coming home to family problems. i hope it wasnt something dumb and stupid.
best of luck.
Sorry to hear. Been there but without kids. It will get better!
Did you try to work things out? Did she give a reason? Sorry dude
seems some of the spouses that stay at home maintaining...can't...and that is where more issues come up in similar situations....
sorry to hear it man!...it ain't easy...but there are resources at your disposal.
Is She hot? Gotta marry the 5s maybe 6s.. a 4 if she has a nice body.. uggos stay for the most part..
>:(
Thank you for what you do for our country. I genuinely wish you the best in handling this. [thumbsdown]
Quote from: Adamm3406 on May 23, 2011, 09:46:36 AM
To top it all off, I've still got another six months left in Afghanistan.
Without a doubt that must be really hard to deal with - especially given your distance from your family. But listen, while you're still in Afghanistan try and stay focused. Get home safely and then deal with "life".
You'll come out on top, trust in yourself and in what you're doing - both for yourself and for your country. If your soon to be ex-wife wasn't able to give you what you needed, then this is an opportunity for you to look for a partner who
is strong enough and will support you.
Try and keep your head on strait for the next few weeks. It'll all work out. [thumbsup]
^ he said what I felt, but better than if I tried to say it myself.
Despite things at home being rough, know that there are many of us back here in the states who TRULY appreciate what you are doing for us in the field.
Thanks man.
very sorry to hear that, man. i've got a 3-yr old boy too and i imagine dealing with your situation locally would be very tough, let alone from the other side of the world. hang in there and lean on your friends/family for support. thanks for your service and stop in here anytime you need to vent.
Adamm3406,
Sounds like she decided to pull a long distance breakup on you.
Since she's proven to be weak willed, and couldn't even tell you in person, you can rest assured that she isn't the right woman to have in your life.
When you are back home for good, get your life established wherever you wind up, get yourself a great job, and then file for sole custody of your child. You don't want your son raised by a weak woman. You can get through the next several months easier just with the thought of you raising your kid, and wanting to see how he turns out in life.
BC.
This has been in the works for a while now. Two days before I left for Afghanistan, she told me that she didn't know if she wanted to stay married anymore. She said that she didn't know if she loved me anymore, or if she wanted to be married. She wanted to use the year while I am deployed to decide whether or not to stay married. Two days after I left, I found out from a friend of her's that she's cheated on me three times since we got married. The past four months have been hell.
I decided to try to hang on and work things out if possible, simply for the sake of my son, and because I still love her. It's been driving me nuts the past few months not knowing how things we're going to be when I got home. She wouldn't say "I love you" on the phone anymore, and she wanted to sleep in different rooms while I am on leave. I took all of this in stride in the hopes that we would be able to work through our problems so that my son wouldn't have to grow up with divorced parents. She finally made her decision the other day... it wasn't the one that I was hoping for.
If I thought that she was a bad parent, then I would definitely be trying for custody. That's not the case, and even after everything that she has put me through, I'm still not that big of an asshole to take our son from her. It will be an un-contested divorce, so once the paperwork is submitted and signed, we should be divorced 60 days later. I'm hoping to have all of this behind me by September.
I wish things would have turned out different... but I guess that's life. I'm just going to enjoy the time with my son and try to use my leave productively. I've got a female friend in Florida who's already agreed to be my wingman at the bars (and nothing is better than having a female wingman), so that should play out nicely.
Thanks for all of the well wishes. I'll keep everyone posted.
[thumbsdown] No good but it sounds like you've accepted it and it's time to move on. It sucks that you have a son involved though. I hope you can be there for him often. Good luck. I'm sure Sept can't come soon enough!
My best to you and your son. Now it is time to work on getting home safe and sound.
Very sorry to hear that, Adam. It's tough being away serving your country and not being able to work on your own family. What's done is already done. DOn't dwell on it too much. Just be safe out there and focus on task at hand. Meanwhile, we are all here for ya
yeah i agree man, that is bullshit. I was in the same boat and married for 16 years and she started pulling away.
Finally got the "i love you but am not in love with you" line. I just don't understand it and never will.
I have two kids 9 and 12 and they are actually dealing pretty well with it, though i never would have thought
I would be in this position with my kids.
My one piece of advice. Custody, 50/50. the kids can reside with their mother but you both
have equal custody. If there is an argument and you can't work it out nicely you can do two things. get a
mediator and help you both split things up and if that won't work. Lawyer up man.
I wish you the best in a bullshit situation and want to thank you for your service to our country.
Let me know if you need advice. Just keep in mind opinions are like assholes...... ;D
Quote from: VisceralReaction on May 25, 2011, 01:47:56 PMFinally got the "i love you but am not in love with you" line. I just don't understand it and never will.
I think the proper translation in woman speak is, "I'm selfish...I can't keep my promises, or commitments... and I need a excuse so that at the end of the day I feel justified."
Quote from: Adamm0621 on May 29, 2011, 07:35:28 AM
I think the proper translation in woman speak is, "I'm selfish...I can't keep my promises, or commitments... and I need a excuse so that at the end of the day I feel justified."
corrected it for ya! ;D I've heard that line a few times myself - it sucks and it usally means what you said but I would add in there "and I"m bored and feel like I want to try something else for a bit"
Quote from: Adamm0621 on May 29, 2011, 07:35:28 AM
I think the proper translation in woman speak is, "I'm selfish...I can't keep my promises, or commitments... and I need a excuse so that at the end of the day I feel justified."
^ This.
I'd be in make the beast with two backsing rage mode in Afghanistan for the next 6 months if I was you. I almost feel bad for the enemy, almost.
Quote from: dolci on May 31, 2011, 10:06:46 AM
corrected it for ya! ;D I've heard that line a few times myself - it sucks and it usally means what you said but I would add in there "and I"m bored and feel like I want to try something else for a bit"
+1 Thanks Dolci for the fix.
I've heard that line too. And heard it once from a guy who ended up repeating that line to several of my friends over the years, including the friend he married (you think we would've learned...) Boredom definitely factors in, and for some folks the need for change will keep popping up again and again.
Best of luck Adam, to you and your son. Thank you for your hard work in the field and please focus on getting home safely.
Adam I am sorry to read that you are joining the national stats.
Order of priorities are:
Get home in one piece (and thank you for going to the shit-hole on behalf of us)
Don't sign anything that doesn't protect your child first and foremost....
don't waste time contesting the divorce, property crap etc...stuff can always be replaced
but make sure you are on an equal footing as an involved parent with joint custodial rights
there may come a time when you may need to pull your son to safety
as the ex "re-invents herself"...and trust me the girl you thought you knew will disappear
and if the re-invention is ugly you may need to be there for your child
better to do the rescue work from a level playing field
It is an ugly piece of road to walk but it doesn't last forever...
just stay on the path and take the longer view of life
So I canceled her Power of Attorney's this morning, and this afternoon I'll be changing my life insurance policy so that if the worst should occur, she won't walk away with a $500K parting gift.
I'm definitely going for joint custody... her as primary, and myself as secondary with unlimited visitation rights. I'll be paying child support, but she's going to waive alimony and any rights to my military benefits/retirement.
I should be home in about a week, and then the real fun will begin.
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 01, 2011, 12:18:12 AM
So I canceled her Power of Attorney's this morning, and this afternoon I'll be changing my life insurance policy so that if the worst should occur, she won't walk away with a $500K parting gift.
I'm definitely going for joint custody... her as primary, and myself as secondary with unlimited visitation rights. I'll be paying child support, but she's going to waive alimony and any rights to my military benefits/retirement.
I should be home in about a week, and then the real fun will begin.
[thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup]
....and move this to closure as fast as you can...do not leave it open and hanging....
the longer the divorce remains un-finalized
the more time she has to realize she isn't having as much fun as she thought she would...
and unless she hits the jackpot dating....she will get bitter and it will become all your fault...
especially if you come home meet someone decent
and it starts looking like your life is shaping up better than hers
Ratts last two posts said alot. Listen to this man.
Glad to see you are taking the correct steps and yeah as said before
remember it's just "stuff"
I have nothing really after 16 years. I'm starting over.
It pisses me off, but it's cool to because I can do it all my way this time. [thumbsup]
Just remember to "be the adult" when it comes time and you'll know it when you
see it.
Quote from: RAT900 on June 01, 2011, 04:05:26 AM
[thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup]
....and move this to closure as fast as you can...do not leave it open and hanging....
the longer the divorce remains un-finalized
the more time she has to realize she isn't having as much fun as she thought she would...
and unless she hits the jackpot dating....she will get bitter and it will become all your fault...
especially if you come home meet someone decent
and it starts looking like your life is shaping up better than hers
That applies to almost any kind of relationship breakup. good words.
Oh, wise sage... otherwise known as RAT900... I seek guidance, wondering if I shall partake in break-up sex? The mind may be strong, but the flesh is willing.
;D
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 01, 2011, 01:47:46 PM
Oh, wise sage... otherwise known as RAT900... I seek guidance, wondering if I shall partake in break-up sex? The mind may be strong, but the flesh is willing.
;D
You'd be better off with a hooker
The best thing you can do in that respect is date your hand.
Sex with the ex is a very bad idea.
What if she comes up preg?
Or gives you an std since you mentioned she had been unfaithful.
That's what I was thinking.
Saying I'm sorry about all of this just sounds kind of lame. Not that I'm not sorry. I truly am. It's just I can't imagine being in your shoes trying to stay alive until Sept. in what seems to be a very dangerous place these days with all this nasty personal shit going on. It's been said in posts before, please keep your head in the game and come home safely. You've got a son to come home to and raise and the rest of your life to live. [thumbsup]
And just as importantly, thank you for serving our country. We all appreciate it. [clap] [bow_down] [beer]
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 01, 2011, 01:47:46 PM
Oh, wise sage... otherwise known as RAT900... I seek guidance, wondering if I shall partake in break-up sex? The mind may be strong, but the flesh is willing.
;D
no!!!
that will just cloud up everything and introduce physical (as well as emotional) risk to your resolve
and that may be just what she wants keep you on the back burner in case things suck by the time you are back home for good
she has already proven to you at least two or three times by your own estimate...that you are little more than a bill payer who gives her a warm place to shit
finalize the divorce then maybe after the ink is dry circle back and offer to give her ass-to-mouth training or something
Okay all misogynistic crudeness aside...
don't go there...rub one out in your hand if you have to...or a dozen.....make the beast with two backs her mom, her kid sister, hell her brother or her father but don't make the beast with two backs HER
because with all the incredible thoughtless shit that has been heaped on you at such an incredibly bad time for you...
how could sex with her amount to much more than jerking off by using her hole...?
this is how...it will leave you feeling confused or hopeful or uncertain and all prepped for the next brick in the teeth she sends your way....clearly the woman...well strike that..... the GIRL has no regard for the damage she deals out...she is lacking the capacity for empathy or understanding or responsibility for the pain she inflicts...
she is un-evolved emotionally, lacks character and emotional integrity/substance...instead of make the beast with two backsing her....make the beast with two backsing run screaming
you deserve a hell of a lot better than to play as second fiddle when you are supposed to be in the first fiddle seat
I have no doubt that your love for her is genuine and sincere....guess what? hers isn't...
she does not have it for you like you do for her and she knows that
so to engage with her will be on her home turf and with her holding the strategic advantage
knowing she can exploit your feelings and risk none of hers (since her's are only vaporware and empty words anyway)
Adam it is this simple.... the love of your life lays in the life ahead of you...not in this sad and disappointing past
rummaging through the wreckage only brings sorrow
get home safe and find that one that "gets it"...she is out there probably taking her lumps right now as well...your paths will cross
and you will look back and shiver in horror at what you settled for before....
^
What he said.
Don't do it.
Good advice. [thumbsup] You've got better things to do with the rest of your life. Just make sure you have the rest of your life to live. Come home safe and sound. Hang in there bro'. [beer]
@ RAT900...
I wasn't seriously considering sleeping with her, I just like to read your rants (highly insightful though they may be).
My plan for leave is quite simple... I've lost about 30 pounds since I left and am looking DAMN good right now. I intend to rub that in her face at every possible chance (Not verbally... I just plan on walking around half naked the entire time I'm there). It helps that she's put on quite a few pounds since I left as well (I think I only weigh about 10 pounds more than she does now). [evil]
I've already decided that the best course of action is to get this divorce over with as soon as possible, making sure I don't get screwed in the process, and then moving on with life.
For those of you that are concerned with my safety, I appreciate the sentiment. However, in any good soldier there is a mental separation that takes place when there is a mission at hand. I call it going into "Go Mode." When I've got a task to carry out, or when I'm "outside the wire" the only thoughts that enter my mind are those pertaining to accomplishing the mission, and getting my soldiers back safely. The only time that thoughts from home interfere or affect morale is when I have down time... which is why I've been spending so much time in the gym.
If something should happen and I don't make it home safely, it'll be due to factors outside of my control, and will in no way be related to the bullshit going on back home. Does it make this deployment more difficult? Yes. Am I able to mitigate the majority of the bullshit? Definitely. For those of you who have never served in a combat zone, there's really no room for self-pity to get a hand-hold when there's bullets whizzing overhead, or mortars dropping around you.
<laughing> then good for you Adam!!! glad to hear you have the ability to compartmentalize...not everyone has that capacity or mental discipline
and if I am of service with my rants to a man in the active service then so much the better [thumbsup]
They're easy to write...(the rants) because I have the extensive scar tissue from divorce to inspire me
and if there was a mistake to be made I covered them all...but boy did I ever do the post-mortem research on the hows and why's of every land mine I stepped on
nevertheless I managed to get custody of my twins in 1993 when they were 8 years old and raised them...they are both accomplished and successful pains in the ass
they don't have that vacant-eyed refugee look that neglected and abused kids of divorce can sometimes get... they are not "victims"
that would never had played out had they stayed with their deadbeat mother....they were far from being her first priority beyond the make the beast with two backsing gobs of child support she got and never spent on them
to see them happy and successful today well...it made every day I spent in family court for 5 years, and every penny I spent and every indignity suffered at the hands of court evaluators and social workers with their proctological level of assessments worth it
and if I thought my ex made life painful....nothing could ever hurt more or match the pain of seeing your kids going under emotionally
and that is why I am saying to you that you have to level the playing field with her for
any potential future situations...that is the one detail you have to sweat
the world has exceeded its quota of whining losers and self-styled victims of some sort of bad deal....
raise a self-confident winner...they are in dreadfully short supply
I just finished having a telephonic appointment with my lawyer... if the wife continues to be as approachable and agreeable as she has been so far, the lawyer will have the paperwork ready to sign within a day or two after our meeting. If everything goes as planned, I'll be divorced sometime in mid-August.
Good to hear, I too have the scars as Rat does. But i would rather read about Rat's rants than my own [laugh]
You sound like you have your mind in the correct place and everything lined up as it should be.
I wish you the best in the coming trial.
The definition of Irony:
"When my divorce is going to cost less than the new gun that I want to purchase."
I guess it wouldn't be cheaper to just shoot her after all. [roll]
But in the long run................ ;)
[laugh]
Quote from: VisceralReaction on June 02, 2011, 01:54:54 PM
But in the long run................ ;)
oh don't get me started.....<laughing>.....
I went 11 years....you went 16...trying to make a feast out of crumbs and telling yourself its going to get better....right!!! it never make the beast with two backsing does...it does get worse though....make the beast with two backsing married at 23, out at 35....squandered my youth on marriage I did....
what a make the beast with two backsing lonesome nightmare....there I was rescuing her from her crappy family thinking we were going to hold hands and skip down the path of life having fun and knocking obstacles out of our way
I had confidence and balls that clank....all she had to do was have fun with me....right??
But OH NO she packed up every lousy hang-up and shitty trauma from her crap family and childhood brought them with her and saddled me with them...the make the beast with two backsing nerve...
I left more make the beast with two backsing cum in the shower as a married man... than I ever did as a teenager alone....I am surprised the make the beast with two backsing claw foot bath tub didn't get pregnant
kept telling myself she would "come around" and "things would get better"....oh yeah...that someday she would realize I truly loved her and the distrust was just the noise of her family of origin....
what an exercise in futility that was......
but after a few years of trying to demonstrate I wasn't her like her father...well....I threw in the towel.....and things did get better ...WHY?
because I started make the beast with two backsing every woman I could get to look at me after consuming Conehead quantities of Bourbon daily
Boy was that divorce ever nasty...all the make the beast with two backsing energy she couldn't put into making the marriage a go....wow it was all stored up and waiting for the divorce
what a bag o shit she was....and the worst of it all is "I picked her"
I was looking for a partner...she was looking for a hiding place from her family
Quote from: RAT900 on June 01, 2011, 03:37:46 PM
don't go there...rub one out in your hand if you have to...or a dozen.....make the beast with two backs her mom . . .
Rat is right. Even when slightly edited.
NSFW:
HomeBase (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGGA5aWxKKk#normal)
sac
Oh God Sac....10,0000 thank you's!!!
I am crying [laugh]
This thread is a good one. [thumbsup] I was married 20 years to a make the beast with two backsing psycho and spent two and a half years in court banging my head against the wall and we had NO KIDS!! Still sounds like RAT got the shit but ended up on top of the heap in the end. Glad it was all worth it for the kiddos! As it should be. I'm sure there are several Texas state laws preventing from ever having kids! [laugh] It's amazing how well my current wife and her ex-hubby get along. He's actually a hell of a nice guy and he and I get along great. Weird as it sounds his current wife and my wife (he's ex) also get along really well and have gone on several all girl road trips with mutual friends! Believe me I have seen the total opposite with friends and their exes. I am really lucky to be in the relationship I am in and that the exes get along so well. It pays HUGE dividends for my step son. Then again he is kinda screwed... he's got four parents working in harmony all over his ass! He can't get away with shit! [laugh] [thumbsup]
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 02, 2011, 11:59:20 AM
The definition of Irony:
"When my divorce is going to cost less than the new gun that I want to purchase."
I guess it wouldn't be cheaper to just shoot her after all. [roll]
It turns out that my quote wasn't received quite as well on Facebook... Some people have no sense of humor.
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 03, 2011, 12:25:12 AM
It turns out that my quote wasn't received quite as well on Facebook... Some people have no sense of humor.
Not in this day and age...they'll think you were contemplating a 9MM solution to your marital status
probably had a dozen or two of them report you
the words "guns" and "divorce" should never be used in the same paragraph or document
same as using "Knife" and "Penis" in the same sentence....but I think knife and penis are more allowable and won't get anyone reported
Quote from: RAT900 on June 03, 2011, 03:12:23 AM
Not in this day and age...they'll think you were contemplating a 9MM solution to your marital status
I'm offended by how easily people get offended... where are my rights? Besides, I'm more of a 40 S&W type of guy... However the new gun that I want is the Taurus Judge... They just came out with a new Public Defender model that has a polymer frame. Combine that with Winchester's new ammo that they began producing for the Judge, and it's just too much for me to turn down.
Gun Link:
http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=693&category=Revolver&toggle=&breadcrumbseries= (http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=693&category=Revolver&toggle=&breadcrumbseries=)
Ammo Link:http://thetruthaboutguns.com/2010/06/robert-farago/winchester-pdx1-410-shotgun-ammoselling-like-hotcakes/ (http://thetruthaboutguns.com/2010/06/robert-farago/winchester-pdx1-410-shotgun-ammoselling-like-hotcakes/)
A lightweight hand-cannon that shoots grape shot....excellent concept!!!
I can appreciate the idea and the execution.
Perfect for the well-placed shot OR the general direction shot.
Performance Results can only be the best kind...messy, final and ugly
I'll just add a couple of thoughts to the (generally ;D ) good advice in the past several pages...
First, thank you for what you're doing and for keeping yourself & your soldiers safe - redundant, I know, but it bears repeating.
Second, be generous when you can, stand firm when you need to, and don't be too pissed off to simply ask politely for what you need from her. Anger has its place, but in a negotiation it's usually the one who keeps his/her head that comes out in front. It was a hard lesson for me to learn when I was going through divorce that not everything has to be a fight, and that there were a lot of things that I was the one turning INTO a fight -- much to my surprise, it turned out she wasn't the only one who wanted to re-hash the entire relationship over every little mundane decision we had to make. Once I let go of that, everything got about 50% easier - and because she still wanted to drag everything into every discussion, I was able to negotiate from a much stronger position.
Finally, remember that it gets better, but only if you want it to get better. She probably did change some - I know my wife did - but the things that attracted you to her in the first place are going to attract you to others. Quite possibly, that includes the stuff that went wrong, too - it's not by accident that you see guys marrying essentially the same woman over and over again. She's given you a couple of gifts: most importantly, a son. She's also given you the gift of an opportunity to learn some things about yourself and apply them to the rest of your life. In my case, I only wish I'd accepted that gift fifteen years or more earlier than I did. :)
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 03, 2011, 12:25:12 AM
It turns out that my quote wasn't received quite as well on Facebook... Some people have no sense of humor.
Holy shit man, can't believe you said that.
You know all those
completely insane gossiping women are talking about that now.
I can hear them now "he literally said he was going to kill her"
You need to watch what you post online. May make the divorce very easy for her and hard for you.
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 03, 2011, 04:10:58 AM
I'm offended by how easily people get offended... where are my rights? Besides, I'm more of a 40 S&W type of guy... However the new gun that I want is the Taurus Judge... They just came out with a new Public Defender model that has a polymer frame. Combine that with Winchester's new ammo that they began producing for the Judge, and it's just too much for me to turn down.
Gun Link:
http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=693&category=Revolver&toggle=&breadcrumbseries= (http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=693&category=Revolver&toggle=&breadcrumbseries=)
Ammo Link:http://thetruthaboutguns.com/2010/06/robert-farago/winchester-pdx1-410-shotgun-ammoselling-like-hotcakes/ (http://thetruthaboutguns.com/2010/06/robert-farago/winchester-pdx1-410-shotgun-ammoselling-like-hotcakes/)
Forget the judge.
S&W makes a much higher quality firearm. *2.6 ounces heavier & it's alloy & stainless, not polymer.
http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category4_750001_750051_768152_-1_757992_757992_image (http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category4_750001_750051_768152_-1_757992_757992_image)
(http://www.smith-wesson.com/wcsstore/SmWesson2/upload/images/GovBody2.jpg)
Quote from: triangleforge on June 03, 2011, 09:16:30 AM
I'll just add a couple of thoughts to the (generally ;D ) good advice in the past several pages...
First, thank you for what you're doing and for keeping yourself & your soldiers safe - redundant, I know, but it bears repeating.
Second, be generous when you can, stand firm when you need to, and don't be too pissed off to simply ask politely for what you need from her. Anger has its place, but in a negotiation it's usually the one who keeps his/her head that comes out in front. It was a hard lesson for me to learn when I was going through divorce that not everything has to be a fight, and that there were a lot of things that I was the one turning INTO a fight -- much to my surprise, it turned out she wasn't the only one who wanted to re-hash the entire relationship over every little mundane decision we had to make. Once I let go of that, everything got about 50% easier - and because she still wanted to drag everything into every discussion, I was able to negotiate from a much stronger position.
Finally, remember that it gets better, but only if you want it to get better. She probably did change some - I know my wife did - but the things that attracted you to her in the first place are going to attract you to others. Quite possibly, that includes the stuff that went wrong, too - it's not by accident that you see guys marrying essentially the same woman over and over again. She's given you a couple of gifts: most importantly, a son. She's also given you the gift of an opportunity to learn some things about yourself and apply them to the rest of your life. In my case, I only wish I'd accepted that gift fifteen years or more earlier than I did. :)
[clap] [clap] [clap] well put
especially the issue of who we are attracted to...we can only change how we deal with that inherent attraction
Quote from: Heath on June 03, 2011, 09:38:02 AM
You need to watch what you post online. May make the divorce very easy for her and hard for you.
Very very true - esp. when custody is involved.
If you pass through BAF, let me know. We'll grab a meal.
Quote from: Dragsterhund on June 06, 2011, 10:33:10 AM
If you pass through BAF, let me know. We'll grab a meal.
Wish I would have got this sooner... I left BAF on the 6th... was there for less than 24 hours. I'll hit you up on the return.
I spent a great father's day with my son today. I can't believe that I have to leave him again in a few days... and that because of the divorce I won't get to be there for the majority of his life. It's sort of a bitter end to what was a great day. I think I'm going to go drink now.
Are you tired of people telling you to "hang in there"?
It seems so lame but it's about all I can add since I don't have any experience in what you're going through.
Hugs.....
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 19, 2011, 08:40:59 PM
I spent a great father's day with my son today. I can't believe that I have to leave him again in a few days... and that because of the divorce I won't get to be there for the majority of his life. It's sort of a bitter end to what was a great day. I think I'm going to go drink now.
Most family courts will let the kids call the shots on which parent to live with around age 12....
all parental quality of life considerations being equal
and yes dropping them off and leaving alone sucks....
sucks for them even more
Back in Afghanistan... six more months until I get to hold my son again. I feel like I'm in a holding pattern. The divorce will be final in a month or so, but I can't even begin fixing my life until I get back to the states.
Everything that I've ever wanted out of life, everything that I've hoped for, and worked for has just been taken from me, and now I have to start over... I'll never understand why someone would do this to someone else. I don't know how to do it, or where to begin.
Hoping that tomorrow is better than today...
At the risk of sounding like Tony Robbins or Oprah or Dr. Seuss, make it a good day and plan for a new future.
Can't control (and often times can't understand) other people and what they do or say or how they act even
when you know them well.
If I were you, I'd high tail it to a counselor and dump on them. It might take several visits to find the "right" counselor
who you mesh with but you might feel better.
I'm trying to figure out (a fruitless, sleepless effort) why a douche canoe slashed his 5 month old puppy this morning.
I'll never know. But I know that pup will live and will find a great forever home. She hit rock bottom through no
fault of her own but now it's all up from here for her! (Same for you.) ;)
What piece of shit would slash a puppy? Give me that f#@kers address! >:(
Sorry for the thread jack... but do you blame me? [roll]
pm sent.
Hey Adam?....we're all just humans....
and the best we can do is to fix whatever shit we can..........
and simply outlive the rest of it that we can't fix
I recall being deep in the shit of bad marriage detonating....
it was all so goddam awful I started laughing one day in the middle of it...
my life had become a really bad piece of "Performance Art" and I got to be the chief critic of the show
I was astonished at the absolute perfection of the suckage, like a perfectly cut, flawless diamond of shit...no aspect or facet of it was redeeming
I became amazed at the sheer absurdity of my delusional plans of a happy life,
how completely I had bull-shitted myself with unwarranted optimism
when, in fact, I was little more than a chimp parading around in a costume chock full of conceits, idealistic notions and hubris
when, in reality, I was the one who had subconsciously architected an interpersonal Rube Goldberg contraption of self-inflicted suffering
and I became embarrassed at how my unbridled self-confidence and absolute faith in the worst possible choice of partners....
emotionally degenerated into a 3 Stooges slap, gouge and eye-poking fest
dust yourself off and start looking forward
Stella... I'm seriously considering the counseling route. It just sucks that the only real outlets at my disposal are Army chaplains or the mental health clinic. Neither of which I think are going to help much. I had a few hours of one-on-one "therapy" with a young woman that I met in Florida and it did me a world of good. In the long run though, it wouldn't hurt to have another outlet. As for the puppy thing... some people don't deserve to live.
Rat... you and I are going to have to go out for a few drinks when I get back.
Quote from: Adamm0621 on June 29, 2011, 12:31:28 AM
Rat... you and I are going to have to go out for a few drinks when I get back.
I would look forward to that...
oh and do consider the therapy/counseling thing....
my intro to it was under juvenile court order when I was in 8th grade, it was the education of a lifetime....
they thought I was make the beast with two backsed up because I torched the music teacher's prized Mustang in the school parking lot....
he had humiliated and reduced some poor geek kid to tears in class in front of all of us....
hate-filled bastard enjoyed bullying kids....
but the silver-lining was learning about human behaviors...great stuff from where I was coming from
Rat900, I'm reading "Kingdom of Fear" and the transition between HST and your posts is seamless...hope that is a good thing!
Adam, not much I can add to what's already been said, we're with you and thanks for your service.
Bob
<laughing> before HST there was JP Donleavy,
nomadic upbringings can yield interesting perspectives ;)