The Official "Say Anything" Thread

[brimo]

Morning....well, there's two hours of it left anyhow. Coffee time.

[DarkMonster620]

Morning....well, there's two hours of it left anyhow. Coffee time.

just 2? have g'day then 

[MendoDave]

Beer thirty. Don't tell anyone but its a MGD. no I didn't buy it..

[DarkMonster620]

Beer thirty. Don't tell anyone but its a MGD. no I didn't buy it..

[MendoDave]

wuss 

[Stella]

^      This.


But I already know I'm a wuss. 


Evening.  A few errands to run followed by a beverage of the non MGD variety then a pep talk to get me through another mind numbing day in the office tomorrow.  I need a change.   The right change though.  Anyone have a crystal ball?

[lethe]

^      This.


But I already know I'm a wuss. 


Evening.  A few errands to run followed by a beverage of the non MGD variety then a pep talk to get me through another mind numbing day in the office tomorrow.  I need a change.   The right change though.  Anyone have a crystal ball?

I see monkeys and shaving cream, the rest is IZ_

[Stella]

 



Thanks. 

[red baron]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to The ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $9.40 please"

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man Says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
"The usual?" Asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and Places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and Found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered Me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money Would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a Million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a litre of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."


WELL HELLO !!!!!!

[DarkMonster620]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to The ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $9.40 please"

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man Says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
"The usual?" Asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and Places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and Found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered Me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money Would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a Million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a litre of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."


WELL HELLO !!!!!!

you should post a warning . . . thare is water all over the floor now . . . .

[red baron]

 

you should post a warning . . . thare is water all over the floor now . . . .

[DarkMonster620]

it wasn't the photo, it was the last line of the joke . . .

[LMT]

Someone called for a Monkey?

Not the same as BACON BACON BACON...

[Monsterlover]

Someone called for a Monkey?

Not the same as BACON BACON BACON...

Reminds me of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[MendoDave]

Reminds me of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I'll never get that 1:03 back.