buying the wrong ring?

[That Nice Guy Beck!]

Uh, I threw the wife a 50 cent ring and I do alright. Girl was not bent. Girl was excited. It was about me spending forever with her an no one else, not about how much money I could sink into something shiny.


Sorry dude-95% of the people in here are telling you you're off base because you are. Not all girls are materialistic-just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it's not true.

bro the ENGAGEMENT ring has nothing to do with being materialistic, its a symbol of what your girl means to you, they fakin think about this shit all their life, has nothing to do with being materialistic, some girls really dont care OK i'll buy that, however most do. If you have the means then you buy a nice ring, if not then of course whatever works works... but dont think for a second that girls dont care about THAT ring.

[That Nice Guy Beck!]

Uh, I threw the wife a 50 cent ring and I do alright. Girl was not bent. Girl was excited. It was about me spending forever with her an no one else, not about how much money I could sink into something shiny.

maybe in my culture its different but  if I threw my girl a 50 cent ring my own father would throw me a smack, we dont do things like that, especially when it comes to weddings, our weddings are insane, people get shot at our weddings lol, if i can afford it, my girls getting teh best, best car, best house, best clothes.. the best period. if I cant then we make due if she'll love me anyway because im awesome and im a really fast runner too.

[Statler]

maybe in my culture its different but  if I threw my girl a 50 cent ring my own father would throw me a smack, we dont do things like that, especially when it comes to weddings, our weddings are insane, people get shot at our weddings lol, if i can afford it, my girls getting teh best, best car, best house, best clothes.. the best period. if I cant then we make due if she'll love me anyway because im awesome and im a really fast runner too.

um...can she not get those things for herself?  or even better contribute equally so you together buy yourselves nice things?   G would be pissed if I bought her a car.   

[cyrus buelton]

I believe Mr Beck is Macedonian.

If that is the case, then what he is saying is pretty spot on.

The bar I frequent is owned by a Macedonian and that is how he treats his wife.

His daughter..........treated that way by her husband.


Culture does dictate a lot of the rituals and expectations of a marriage.

[That Nice Guy Beck!]

um...can she not get those things for herself?  or even better contribute equally so you together buy yourselves nice things?   G would be pissed if I bought her a car.   

Americans do it differently I guess.

[That Nice Guy Beck!]

I believe Mr Beck is Macedonian.

If that is the case, then what he is saying is pretty spot on.

The bar I frequent is owned by a Macedonian and that is how he treats his wife.

His daughter..........treated that way by her husband.


Culture does dictate a lot of the rituals and expectations of a marriage.

eggs actly, yes my fathers side is from Skopje.

[Bick]

maybe in my culture its different but  if I threw my girl a 50 cent ring my own father would throw me a smack, we dont do things like that, especially when it comes to weddings, our weddings are insane, people get shot at our weddings lol, if i can afford it, my girls getting teh best, best car, best house, best clothes.. the best period. if I cant then we make due if she'll love me anyway because im awesome and im a really fast runner too.

I think this is a key statement right here.

It doesn't make sense to me to start down that road in debt.  I have been to some fantastic weddings that equal a substantial down payment on a very nice house, yet after the honeymoon, the happy couple returns to their average apartment and their (barely) paycheck to paycheck lives.

[somegirl]

It doesn't make sense to me to start down that road in debt.  I have been to some fantastic weddings that equal a substantial down payment on a very nice house, yet after the honeymoon, the happy couple returns to their average apartment and their (barely) paycheck to paycheck lives.

We chose to go the substantial down payment route.

maybe in my culture its different but  if I threw my girl a 50 cent ring my own father would throw me a smack, we dont do things like that, especially when it comes to weddings, our weddings are insane, people get shot at our weddings lol, if i can afford it, my girls getting teh best, best car, best house, best clothes.. the best period. if I cant then we make due if she'll love me anyway because im awesome and im a really fast runner too.

So what is she expected to do with the money she earns?  Keep it?

[Oldfisti]

So what is she expected to do with the money she earns?  Keep it?

It sounds like this type of culture would not expect her to work at all.

[Popeye the Sailor]

It sounds like this type of culture would not expect her to work at all.

Then why get a wife? 


Runs and hides.

[DCXCV]

Then why get a wife? 


Runs and hides.

True, true.  If she's just there to cook and clean you're better off with a maid.  No ring to buy and you get to keep all of your crap if you decide to trade up to a younger maid.

[Greg]

First off, as others stated the 2-3 Months salary thing was started by DeBeers and is a crock of $hit, but it has been very successful for them and has landed many people in the poor house.
It is my firm belief that you should not go into debt over an engagement ring, that is completely the wrong thing to start out a relationship with. Besides if it does not work out, you're still going to be in debt and she's still going to have the bling. Even if you get the ring back, WTF are you going to do with it, give it to your next fiancee?    Nope, you'll end up selling it for about 40% of what you paid for it if you are lucky.

Anyway if any of you local to San Antonio ever need a hookup for jewelry or just buying a rock, then my wife can help you out. She used to have her own business making custom jewelry, and still does it on the side and can save you quite bit of cash.

[ducatiz]

The correct way is to go shopping together to get an idea what she likes

It doesn't matter if it's a solitaire or something gaudy or no stone at all, as long as she loves it.

She will love it for being an engagement ring unless she hates you -- no matter what.  But it should have some element of "showoff" to it, i.e. that you want to impress her beyond being her betrothed.

You don't have to pick the actual ring together, just tell her you want to know what she likes and to please not set on one particular one, that you want it to be special and you might get a custom ring

And FYI many many ateliers will make a ring for you that isn't much more expensive than an off the shelf one. 

[the_Journeyman]

Good points db!  I'll add my FHE here.  Fiancée and I had talked about things related to jewelry and engagement and marriage naturally found it's way into the conversation.  Found out what color gold she likes (white for her), that she didn't like jewelry that stuck way up off her finger etc.  We never set foot in a jewelry store together.  Keeping in mind I needed white gold and something that didn't stick way up off the finger I set off to local, trustworthy jewelry stores.  The one I picked out left her speechless.  She loves to show it off because it is a pretty ring and it's not so large it gets in the way of her work and such.  I also didn't spend a fortune.

JM

[lwszabo]

On a side note i sold my 2003 Ducati Monster 800 dark to buy my wife here ring...I feel better getting that off my chest.