Why i have every make the beast with two backsing right to hate nyc

[He Man]

Around 9:30pm I arrive at a place in china town to grab a quick bite to eat. I park my bike away from all the garbage that the restaurants are putting out for their private garbage collectors to take away.

I walk inside and order my food, and sit down with my gf. About 30 minutes later a young fellow comes up to me and goes, is that your Ducati?

I said yea, is it still there okay? You dont look to happy...

"Its covered in garbage juice."

I go out there. ITs worst than garbage juice. Its the sewage that resturants remove from their drains. about 30 gallons of lard, rice, chicken, pig, duck, beef, oil and whatever shit that gets cleaned of dishes, blended nicely in a brown shitstain. all over my bike, tires, gauges, front tire, tank, rotors, chain, udder. the whole nine yards. The guy even got some on the car that i was next to. for the most part, it was all over the floor and on my tires

I dont know what terrible thing i did to anyone lately as ive been pretty much staying away from civilization. But karma got me today. I had to push my bike out of the puddle of sewage. But i couldnt because my feet wouldnt grip onto the pavement. after struggling to get some traction i managed to creep my bike out of the mess onto the sidewalk, and the resturant owner was nice enough to give me several buckets of water, some soap and a roll of bounty. I had to scrub the fat off my wheels and udder. And then burn the fat off my rotors. When i applied the brakes they would steam up and the whole bike would smell like disgusting shit. I took a good 1 mile ride just to make sure the bike woudlnt slip and have me and my gf on the pavement.

I got home at midnight and spent the last hour and a half taking apart my rotors to be cleaned. and i think im going to have to change all my brake pads since they are contaminated with sewage grease.

So yea, this is why people pregnant dog about how make the beast with two backsing retarded this city is. because only in THIS city, will someone drag a garbage bag full of liquid shit 20 feet and rip it open ontop of your bike.


My bike STILL smells like this shit even though i just dumped detergent on it and scrubbed and hosed it down for an hour and a half.

New York City, make the beast with two backs YOU. And god help me if i ever find out who did this shit. I will make the beast with two backsing rip your nut sack out and skull make the beast with two backs you with a frozen piece of human feces.

bad make the beast with two backsing day

[El Matador]

Voted one of the friendliest places in the country

[He Man]

that shit looks like the city from the opening to Married with Children.

[El Matador]

that shit looks like the city from the opening to Married with Children.

It also looks like the place that has some of the hottest girls in the country. Austin, Tx. You have a place to stay there. Don't forget it.

[somegirl]

Sorry, that sucks.

[Super T.I.B]

I have never heard anything like that! I can't put into words how I would feel if that happened to me. Not good He Man. Sounds like a grease trap truck just sucked up a trap and didn't have any valves closed and roared off up the street diarroehring all over the place. 

Get the steam cleaner out & water jet blast that shit to kingdom come.

[Porsche Monkey]

It also looks like the place that has some of the hottest girls in the country. Austin, Tx. You have a place to stay there. Don't forget it.

Are you in Austin now Jesus?  And yes He Man GET OUT NOW!!!

[Dannyboy]

It also looks like the place that has some of the hottest girls in the country. Austin, Tx.

Amen, to that.  I make the beast with two backsing miss Austin.

[ducatiz]

He Man...  I feel your pain.

I never had chinatown garbage (omfg) dumped on my bike.  But living there 20+ years really turned me on to the whole definition of "lowlifes."

No, not everyone.  I know plenty of people in NYC who will give their left nut for you if you're good for them.  Two of them are on this board occasionally (and know who they are) but being in an overcrowded place messes with a person's mind.

A friend (who shall remain nameless unless he wants to speak up) had parked his bike in front of his building and looked out to see someone trashing it -- i mean pushed it over and some other stuff.  Not his ex wife, but just some random people.   What happened after is another story, but point is, stuff happens like this in NYC that doesn't happen many other places. 

I feel your pain.

...and that's a big part of why I left the whole area.  Even if you moved out to the island or jersey, you are still surrounded by the wannabes.   

Go west, young man.

[KnightofNi]

first off...you parked in chinatown? 

that's brave in itself.


second, that city is full of dickwads. the only reason i am amazed at things people do to each other and complete strangers is because i moved out of that city.

[Pakhan]

That is just horrible I have had my share in this city too.  When I go to the city on the bike I park in a garage for reasons like this.  There are too many inconsiderate asses in the city and some areas like Chinatown have a larger concentration of them.  Let me know if I can help.

[causeofkaos]

that is seriously messed up.

[Pakhan]

Send in the pigeons!

[cokey]

Just one of the many reasons I am moving..   coincidentaly we'll be moving to Austin..

[He Man]

  Just spent another hour degreasing my swingarm. The udder needs to be taken off and grinded with a orbital sander to get the fat out of the pores. and i have to take apart my gauges to get the fat juice out of there too.

This shit is seriously the worst thing that has ever happened to my stuff.

Pakhan, do you have a time traveling device so i can watch the dude do it and stab him in the eye with a frozen  hotdog?