A new take on "the wave"

[mostrobelle]

The wave.
 
It's the stuff of legend.  A simple flick of the wrist, or lack thereof, can make or break one's reputation in the fickle social web of riders.  Don't wave and your ability to pilot a bike can be put into question--your upbringing attacked--whether or not you've slept with a first cousin, sister or livestock is often discussed... Failing to wave to another rider is likened to being a heathen in early America.  Keeping your hand on the bar might as well be a confession to being a witch in Salem in the 18th century.*  Bring out the wooden stake and a barrel of lighter fluid, guys, George didn't wave. 
 
The brand of your bike and this simple act of waving are critical to one another.  Ducatis don't wave.  Harleys don't wave.  Sportbike riders don't wave.  Guys in t-shirts and white running shoes don't wave.  Beenie wearers and anyone in Alpinestars don't wave. This list probably encompasses 97% of the entire riding population.  Despite this it is a well known fact that the non-wavers form a loathed and small minority.
 
By and large I'm a fan of the wave.  I'm good at the wave.  The wave is one of the few things I can do on the bike.  If I could do a wheelie I'd do those instead, but my attempts usually result in something more worthy of ridicule than praise.  The wave is easy, and I've mastered its timing and execution. I'm practically the Emily Post of waving, delivering this small gesture with the appropriate level of enthusiasm, height and gesticulation in any situation.  Go ahead...test me.  Riding through a dense urban area?  --The wave generally isn't given unless it's a group of riders obviously headed out to the twisties.  They must be on like bikes to yours, of course, and the wave is small, almost cool in nature.  What if it's one other dude and you're at opposing lights in quiet suburban location?  --You don't wave until you're just about to pass.  Doing so too early means you're gay.  C'mon...give me one tougher than that.  A female motorcycle cop at a stop sign you say?  Nice try--no wave.  We all know that "the fuzz" are forbidden from waving in public situations.  That and she's a woman.  Anything other than a verbal greeting will not only land you a ticket, but she'll also think you're trying to pick up on her--which you probably are.  'Cuz she's a woman on a bike. 
 
So my latest exercise in waving has nothing to do with riders.  I've decided to start waving at my neighbors.  This group of humans that occupy my neighborhood all have reproduced.  They all have renovations to nice homes in varying levels of completion.  They own two cars, usually of European make.  They take the boys to Little League.  They take the girls to ballet and soccer practice.  They garden, read too many books, and watch movies with subtitles.  They're educated.  They care.  Not that I mind these things in my neighbors, but these traits and liking the noise my bike makes every morning don't seem to go hand in hand. 
 
And about two months ago I decided that I was going to make them like me--or at least force them to feign something less than disdain.  I've done it before when I used to live in a very small town in Oregon and only drove cars.  I noticed everyone waved to each other.  It didn't matter whether they knew you or not, but if you waved you were "one of them".  So I started lifting a finger off the steering wheel when I passed.  And it worked.  Suddenly people I didn't know would approach me in the grocery and strike up a conversation.  These were people that wouldn't give me the time of day if I were lying on the sidewalk bleeding to death before.  Now they would drop the Sunday paper off at my doorstep, walk in and ask if I'd share a cup of coffee.  No joke. 
 
Not that I'd expected them to treat me like family on the second day, but I'd hoped for a wave in return after waving several times.  For weeks I've been raising my hand in a futile effort to "befriend" the folks around me as we all headed off for our morning commute.  In vain I'd execute the action to receive only blank stares in return.  As of the past week or two I felt more like I was raising a white flag rather than extending my hand in friendship.  Until today...
 
Today, my moto brethren, I got a wave.  Finally.  The woman across the street, with her freshly remodeled kitchen and a backyard fixer-upper project underway, her new baby and her squeaky clean husband...today as they pulled away in their silver VW station wagon...she waved and even smiled.  It was weak, and I think she winced as I fired up the 945.5 decibel engine on the Duc...but it was indeed a wave.  I've broken one of them!  It's just a matter of time before word gets out that not only are we not crazy, but we're sorta nice.  We have remodel projects going on, too.  We read books with big words.  We give to charities and help old people cross the street.  We look out for the kids in the neighborhood and take our recycling out.  We care.  And it might have all started with a little wave. 

[Scotzman]

I'm curious when the rest of the book is coming out.  I work on Camp Pendleton and it's something every rider does, no matter what they're riding. There are times though when waving wouldn't be prudent, ie coming to a stop or really anything with the clutch. I'm with you though, maybe not as passionate, but I think it's a common courtesy, just like checking to see if a rider on the side of the road is alright.

[DucofWestwood]

i too probably spend way too much time thinking about the social implications of the wave.  i'm militant about it - always do it, and if both hands need to be on the bars, i'll do a very noticeable head nod (sometimes the upward "'sup" nod) - and it bothers me when people don't do it.  i immediately don't like them.

i've been in the awkward position of being diagonally opposed from another rider at a stop-light and have tried to wave across the intersection while stopped, only to be ignored.  oh what everyone else in their cars who saw me diss'd must have thought!  oh the embarassment!!  so now i either wait until we're passing, or if i attempt a "stopped wave", i'll leave my hand in the air long enough so that if the other person doesn't see it immediately, they'll see it eventually and be forced to acknowledge.

i will say that i think what they say about HD riders is true ... 90% of them only wave to other HD riders.  pisses me off.  who do they think they are?

when i started riding, i even tried waving to people on scooters.  i quickly gave up when i realized that it was lost on them, along with the need for a full-faced helmet and something more protective than a windbreaker and high heels/flip-flops.

one of my proudest moments was when i got a CHP moto officer to wave to me, on my way to work.  he was riding tandem with a partner, and i bet the partner gave him a lot of crap about it afterwards.  i bet for one second he forgot he was in the uniform, on the job, and thought he was just out for a nice ride down santa monica blvd.  i told everyone about it.  it made my day.

all pontificating aside, one of my favorite parts of having a bike is the social aspect, and the wave is the cornerstone of that social community.

i do have one question for the group though.  i took my first ride up into the malibu canyons on sunday, and i noticed on the long ride up PCH, that many people don't wave.  is it b/c there are so many bikes out there that to wave to everyone would mean you'd just ride one-handed the whole way?  even i gave up after a while and stopped waving.  but i didn't feel good about it. 

[Takster]

Love your writing 

I used to live in a neighborhood which was split about 50/50 between Hisidic Jews and College Jocks.  I'm neither Jewish, nor Jockular.  I started waving to both groups, and by the time I moved out 2 years later, I'd walk out after a snowstorm and find a few of the neighbor's kids digging out my car without being asked, or random white-hatters asking me if I wanted to come to their kegger.  I think a little goes a long way.

[cokey]

Great write up...  Will u guys wave back if I'm in my suped up cage? Lol.. I'm guessing no cuz I can't even get a rider to look at my direction..  and I won't rev to get it cuz tht usualy means something else...   with the srt we usualy wave to others of the same make.. its a bit diff in the car scene I think..  all depends on the person thgh..

[Raziel]

Great read!

I got what is arguably an upgrade over The Wave last weekend, The Gun. It was the result of my flashing the high beams (cagebound) at an oncoming Goldwing rider to warm him of the state trooper I had just passed.

I love The Gun! It says, "Not only do I recognize you as a fellow sentient mammal, but you're the man. I wouldn't give you my first-born child, but you can use my grill."

[kingbaby]

That is a great story  

I live in a very modern condo downtown (2nd person here three years ago), and some of my neighbors still look away when they see us outside with the bikes.  Yet, when they are out at night & we come around, they act like our best friends.  We dig everyone (until proven guilty...assholes).  
For the record, dusty & I wave at every biker, not that I look anymore to see if they do because I tend to flip 'em off if they don't.

Thought: If you live in an area where there is a Prius (or Pius if you will) in every forth driveway,    All the wives have (mommy cuts), the cool pet to have is a mutant dog with short legs bread with a poodle or pug,    You hear a child cry, then hear the parent say "Montana...
I think it's time for a time out...NOW",  If your grill has wheels & isn't built into a flagstone wall you might as well have a house on wheels,  The only person that ever shows up on your street on a bike is the boss of one of your neighbors on his new GS.   Adapt a bit. To them your a rebel...
and that's a good thing,right?

Like you scotsman, I say wave...What can it hurt.    

[WhiteStripe]

As a new rider 'the wave' has been evolving for me.  Riding the bike home from the sellers I got my first wave, but couldn't return it...i was too terrified to take my hands off the bars. 

Since April i have put about 3,500 miles on my bike and almost never drive my car.  Now it is about style and mood.  Flash an ok symbol down low...two fingers out wide, three fingers with a point, it's like art.

It all came crashing down last week.  Along comes the guy on the motard that I pass a couple times a week on my way home.  We both always wave, and (in my mind) share that special moment of thinking 'how sweet is life, both of us stealing this commute on a bike'.  I see my commarde comming around the corner, hang my arm out and shoot a classic two fingers, spread pointing at a 45% angle...nothing back?  What is this?

I thought, did i do something to anger him, is everything ok at home for him, is someone sick?  Then I realized, i was in my car...

[Grampa]

damn you and your damn talent Heather 




That Wave - homemade video

[Two dogs]

Down here in Australia we have the "nod" much safer and we all do it , except for HD riders.

[JEFF_H]

In Italy, Ducati riders flash each other the 'L' in greeting (for the L-twin dontcha know  )

people in idaho wave more than people in CA.
in town it's maybe 50%-ish, out on the road its more like 80-90, no matter the bike make (lots of adventure-touring types here)

btw- anybody have the text about waving to everybody.....except.....and then it describes almost everybody not like the person? please derby if you do

(put me down for one of your books too heather...although i would prefer to get it at the library instead of amazon )

[hbliam]

  It's just a matter of time before word gets out that not only are we not crazy, but we're sorta nice.  We have remodel projects going on, too.  We read books with big words.  We give to charities and help old people cross the street.  We look out for the kids in the neighborhood and take our recycling out.  We care.  And it might have all started with a little wave. 

Cool post...... but (for discussion sake) this last part (quoted above) hinges on the notion that we need this to happen to somehow feel like we "fit in". Honestly, if my neighbor doesn't realize that I read or remodel because I own a motorcycle, I first, don't care, and second, need to move to a neighborhood with smarter people. In addition, if a "movement" like this is compelling to you I would suggest something really wild and crazy...meeting your neighbors. Get a dog, you meet everyone when you walk the dog twice a day.

[hankthe8th]

I'll always down for the wave, except when people try and give me the "across-freeway wave". Seriously, I'm in 2-3 lanes of traffic, with a good 20-30 yards of empty space between the northbound and southbound lanes. Sometimes, from the corner of my eye, I see and hand go out. I'm probably know by a bunch of people as "that asshole on a Ducati." Actually, they probably think I'm "that asshole on a Buell." I hate the across-freeway wave.

[tlloyd66]

they probably think I'm "that asshole on a Buell."

I've been asked if mine is a Buell... what the hell? Are people that damned dumb?

[m1moto]

I was wondering when we will see another one of your musings. Excellent!!

Make the neighborhood biker friendly by being a friendly biker.