whores! - And not the good kind.

[Bun-bun]

Sorry man. That sux.

     You need to decide what to do for yourself. Following the advice of anyone else is just asking for a bad outcome in this situation.
     Since you've been here before, I'm sure you already know this, but I'll say it anyway; GET PROOF. Proof that will hold up in court. Even if you decide to try to make it work.
     Marriage is a contract, and you'll need proof that she broke the contract in case she decides to leave you and file for divorce.

     After that, I agree with Pakhan(and Mother Theresa).

[WonderBoy]

Dude you could totally turn this around and get famous from it...

Hire that TV show "cheaters" that does like private investigator work and follows the "suspected" around and catches them in the act...and then they show up with you in tow and live cameras and the whole shebang.

Just tryin to put a positive spin on something.  It really sucks that this has happened to you man.  My sympathies.

[vwboomer]

Wisconsin is a no fault state so it doesn't matter who did what. Which is unfortunate for me!

I didn't know for sure (or maybe didn't want to believe it) until Wednesday morning when I finally got it out of her. I got her a GPS for her birthday. On the 18th we were supposed to go to a microbeer fest after our vacation in AZ (waste of money no?). She backed out as I suspected she might, saying she had too much laundry etc to do. Well bout 330 she leaves and goes down by her 'friend'. Comes literally sneaking in at 330 probably hoping I was passed out from all the beer. Our floors creak, and the backdoor needs to be shut hard. Even being in the basement I almost didn't hear her come in. She said she was pissed at me for leaving a nasty voicemail. But near as I can tell, pissed off doesn't sneak anywhere.
Next day on a whim I fired up the gps and looked at the 'recently found' locations. Oneida Casino, where she said they went. And also 2 hotels right off the hiway 20 minutes north of here. Well that was the proof I was finally looking for. Everything else was circumstantial: non stop text messaging - even on our vacation!, mysterious miles on her car (yeah  I kept track - he lives 30 miles south of here so was easy), not being at work when she said she was, and of course sex dropped to almost nothin.

Anyway, I suspected a couple months ago. Even talked about it in relation to my last wife and why I would take these things the wrong way. Apparently that didn't sink in.

I've pretty  much decided that it's done. I didn't trust her a month ago, I'm not going to be able to trust her a year from now.
Our biggest possession is the house, which is in her name since she bought it before we got married, but should still be 'half' mine. I would like to stay here and could probably afford it. Guess we'll have to see.
But for now she's not staying here. Just me, Kat and dog. Good news is the only thing I owe money on is my truck, which I could pay off with my insurance settlement from the accident, but then I'd have no down payment for a house if need be. so there's that.

I wonder what people who cheat tell their families about why things 'didn't work out'? I really doubt they take responsibility. Too bad cuz I like her parents and we get along well.

[herm]

poo in her purse and roll on down the highway, and dont look back

[Drunken Monkey]

Talk to a therapist. Not for both of you, just for you.

And not to be a dick, but twice in a row may mean you seek out women who are bad for you. Again, a shrink may be able to dig in a bit more on this.

Beyond that, my sympathies. That totally sucks.

[Speeddog]

-------------------------snip------------------------
As a disclosure. yeah i've cheated on girlfriends. usually with x gf's, but whatever. once you're married tho, that shits sposed to change, right? maybe that's my karma!
-------------------------snip------------------------

Did you cheat on either of your wives before you got married to 'em?
Maybe they knew, and figured you were alright with an 'open' marriage?

<IMO>
Typically, any committed relationship is, by definition, monogamous.
Doesn't matter if you're married to your partner or not.
There are folks that have committed relationships that are sexually open, and both parties know that it's open.
That's likely pretty rare.
Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned.
</IMO>

And +1 on DrunkenMonkey's advice.

[DY]

I got her a GPS for her birthday.

Ahh, the good ole GPS trick! 

Just think, what else has she been keeping from ya?

[hbliam]

<IMO>
Typically, any committed relationship is, by definition, monogamous.
Doesn't matter if you're married to your partner or not.
There are folks that have committed relationships that are sexually open, and both parties know that it's open.
That's likely pretty rare.
Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned.
</IMO>

+1

[hbliam]

Ahh, the good ole GPS trick! 

I worked one of the Dateline "To Catch a Predator" deals a year or so ago. One of the perv's we arrested insisted he just "happened" upon the 13 year old girls home....until we checked his GPS.

[somegirl]

Sorry to hear, that sucks

[Howie]

Oh man, sorry.

[695LAM]

That sucks in a big way.  Hope you can move on and be happy once again.

[Grampa]

FTR.... you can be a nice guy and still have a spine.


boot her ass

take some time off from the womans.... get to know you a lil better.


then..... you will find the one you are looking for.

most guys who think of themselves as being "nice guys", hook up with women who use them as door mats.

the one constant in both relationships is you.   fix you

[eyeboy]

it might be tempting to go all soft and try again but honestly i think you should get out. now.

i wasted a year with someone like that... not worth any of it. not a bit. none.

sucks though.

[vwboomer]

She was here when I got home from work this morning, doing laundry and what not. Ignored her for an hour before she came upstairs. Pretty much ignored her then but was much harder.
I really don't have a choice but to end it. As such, I'm making it of a point of not keeping it a secret what's happened. That way, everyone will know, and will give me the 'moral support' if I start talking stupid.

Really pisses me off  after I get the house the way I want it - Tore out/remodeled 1 bath, the kitchen, built a small but nice barroom, gutted another room,replaced all windows, and most importantly I have my brewery. I won't be able to afford FMV on the house. Somehow I doubt she'd sell it to me for what we owe (bout 70ish). I can't go back to an apartment - too much stuff! My credit still isn't entirely fixed from the first marriage debacle so even if I could get a loan - these days who knows - the rate would be high. Guess we'll see where the chips fall.

Meantime, I'm waiting for the alternating gut twisting/disbelief/anger to go away. Good thing I only work 3 days a week. I can take my rum medicine