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Dear Bank of America

Started by Monsterlover, November 18, 2009, 12:43:54 PM

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Monsterlover

November 18, 2009, 12:43:54 PM
Dear Bank of America,

Thank you so much for continually sending me offers for a new credit card.

Today, you even sent me two of the same offer!!  You can imagine how overjoyed I was to discover those shoved into my mailbox like tissues in a 13 year old's bra.

Because you were so thoughtful to send me a duplicate credit card offer, I thought it would only be right for me to use the included, no postage necessary, envelope to mail it all back to you.

That's right, I stuffed the entire contents into that return envelope as well as the whole, unopened, second offer.

Maybe you can recycle it and send it to someone who is into some heavy credit card debt and needs to get in deeper.

Don't get me wrong, I love free stuff.  In this case, though, I have enough credit cards and pay them all off every month, no matter how rough it is writing that check.

You'll never make any interest off of me, that's for sure.

But by all means, please continue to send me the free offers.  I will dutifully send them all back to you for recycling.

In fact, now I'm wondering what else you might like to have as a souvenir from my home.  I have a lot of cat hair and I'm thinking that I might just collect some of that and return it to you.  Wouldn't that be fun!?!

You could save it up and make it into a sweater to give to the employee that mails out the most offers!

Write back soon!

Monsterlover

"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

DesmoDiva

#1
November 18, 2009, 12:50:07 PM
 [laugh] [laugh]

Priceless!!
'01 ST4 Yellow
'02 ST4s Yellow

Vindingo

#2
November 18, 2009, 01:22:25 PM
I got a check today from Chase bank for $0.03!   I told the guy on the phone when i was closing my account that he could keep it, but apparently they don't do that...

Drjones

#3
November 18, 2009, 01:52:15 PM
 :D

Never though of doing that.  What a wonderful idea you have there Monsterlover.  [bow_down]
"Live like no one else now, so that you can live like no one else tomorrow."

"Wealth is more often the result of a lifestyle of hard work, perseverance, planning, and, most of all, self discipline.”

"Helping poor and suffering people is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness."

ducpainter

#4
November 18, 2009, 01:54:13 PM
Quote from: Drjones on November 18, 2009, 01:52:15 PM
:D

Never though of doing that.  What a wonderful idea you have there Monsterlover.  [bow_down]
That idea has been suggested in chain mails for years...

sorry Kev.... ;D
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


Ddan

#5
November 18, 2009, 02:00:51 PM
Sometimes I run it through the shredder first, then stuff the envelope.  Makes me giggle like the fool that I am.
2000 Monster 900Sie, a few changes
1992 900 SS, currently a pile of parts.  Now running
                    flogged successfully  NHMS  12 customized.  Twice.   T3 too.   Now retired.

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www.ducatimonsterforum.org

Drjones

#6
November 18, 2009, 02:05:50 PM
Quote from: ducpainter on November 18, 2009, 01:54:13 PM
That idea has been suggested in chain mails for years...

sorry Kev.... ;D

I delete all chain emails plus I live under a rock for most of the year.
"Live like no one else now, so that you can live like no one else tomorrow."

"Wealth is more often the result of a lifestyle of hard work, perseverance, planning, and, most of all, self discipline.”

"Helping poor and suffering people is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral self-righteous bullying laziness."

ducpainter

#7
November 18, 2009, 02:14:05 PM
Quote from: Drjones on November 18, 2009, 02:05:50 PM
I delete all chain emails plus I live under a rock for most of the year.
I've lived under a rock for hundreds of years...

some things you just can't avoid. ;D
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


spolic

#8
November 18, 2009, 02:36:30 PM
I too like putting my other junk mail and other bits of...what ever in the pre-paid's and mailing them off.     ;D
He man, where are all the ads?

cokey

#9
November 18, 2009, 02:38:20 PM
Ha, I have a new source for cheap entertainmeant.. thanks man..
I WIN
Quote from: my wifeOk babe I surrender to u.  U may work me out till I drop

Quote from: Timmy Tucker on February 27, 2011, 11:11:58 AM
About the goat...
His name was Bob, but the family called him BeelzeBob. 
make the beast with two backs goats.

vwboomer

#10
November 18, 2009, 09:43:58 PM
Love the idea  [evil]

Too bad I get ZERO unsolicited offers since I opted out  :P
2005 S4R - Sato, PM, CC, Sargeant
2005 GasGas FSE450
2004 Honda VFR

Speedbag

#11
November 19, 2009, 02:32:26 AM
Quote from: spolic on November 18, 2009, 02:36:30 PM
I too like putting my other junk mail and other bits of...what ever in the pre-paid's and mailing them off.     ;D

My Dad used to do this.  :)

He'd mail offers from one company to another using the postage paid envelopes.  [thumbsup]
I tend to regard most of humanity as little more than walking talking dilated sphincters. - Rat

akmnstr

#12
November 19, 2009, 04:11:02 AM
This may be an urban legend, but I have heard that taping that prepaid envelope to a brick and mailing it works.  Never tried it myself.   
"you may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas!!" Davey Crockett & AKmnstr

"An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men."
Charles Darwin

"I don't know what people expect when they meet me. They seem to be afraid that I'm going to piss in the potted palm and slap them on the ass." Marlon Brando

NAKID

#13
November 19, 2009, 04:23:30 AM
What about mailing them a thin sheet of lead.....
2005 S2R800
2006 S2R1000
2015 Monster 821

cyrus buelton

#14
November 19, 2009, 04:25:44 AM
Why not rip it up and throw it away?

So many people pregnant dog about fees bank charges for overdrafts, you are essentially doing the same thing by costing them money to mail it back.


Let it go, bro.
No Longer the most hated DMF Member.

By joining others Hate Clubs, it boosts my self-esteem.

1999 M750 (joint ownership)
2004 S4r (mineeee)
2008 KLR650 (wifey's bike, but I steal it)
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