Massages

[hihhs]

I once had a muscle in my back "lock-up" for 5 days. I could hardly move. I went to a sports medicine doctor that I knew socially and he recommended I get a massage. I'd never had one.
So I go to the massage place, and I am greeted by this HUGE Hawaiian guy. He read the questionnaire I had filled out, and asked if there was anything he should know. Somewhat embarrassed, I told him I was really ticklish.
He laughed and said, "Dees hain gone teekle, brah".
He was right. Hurt like hell. But afterwards the muscle was back to normal. 

[KnightofNi]

massage was part of the PT for my back.

it's not really a big deal, IMO.

helped my back feel better... priorities 

haha, that reminds me. i tried out chiropratic for a while. it was alright, but the guy turned me off to it with his holistic mumbo jumbo.

anyways, one time i was on the table and he is cracking my back and whatnot. he pushes down on my mid back and my stomach compresses and a nice long, wet sounding fart came out. if i hadn't been laughing i would have been pretty embarrassed for jsut farting on this dude. he chuckled and said "well, people do get relaxed during this."

[Kopfjäger]

One of my best friend and co-workers wife is a massage therapist. I know her as well. He is always trying to get me to get massaged by her, but I just can't do it.

[Vindingo]

I have had a bunch of professional massages and none have been by women.  Personally I think it would be more uncomfortable for me if I had a female masseuse.

I got a massage in an office I worked at once.  Since we were in an office the guy used one of those kneeling chairs and we obviously kept our clothes on.  On top of the back and arm massage, he scratched and massaged my head which felt amazing!  

I would get them regularly if I had the money, but now I settle for massages by lady friends.  

[Vindingo]

anyways, one time i was on the table and he is cracking my back and whatnot. he pushes down on my mid back and my stomach compresses and a nice long, wet sounding fart came out. if i hadn't been laughing i would have been pretty embarrassed for jsut farting on this dude. he chuckled and said "well, people do get relaxed during this."

I bet someone farts on him every single day...

[The Bacon Junkie]

My massage therapist is about 6'1" and looks like Clark Kent. 

I had partial torn my psoas muscle and bruised my inguinal something or other. Any medical peeps will tell you it's in an "interesting" spot.  Same incident also partially tore my hamstring at the insertion point under the glute. 

So I'm face down, legs slightly apart, and he's down there digging in with his thumb or elbow or something. I was concentrating too hard on not passing out from the pain to feel awkward.    Anyway, after a few more sessions I could walk relatively pain free.   
Now when I call for an appointement, he tells me he's sharpening his elbows just for me. 

I've had massages from females before and while they're relaxing, if I need serious attention, I go to Steve.   

[slowpoke13]

While in Japan, I got them regularly. Usually from an old Japanese lady. I've had a couple in Thailand. Best ones I've ever had. I had one at a Turkish bath by some big Turkish dude years ago. That was the most uncomfortable. But, I felt great after. They have them on base here in Djibouti by a Philippino woman. Not bad. I used to get them when I was in Norfolk too. At a Massage school in VA Beach. Actually, I've gotten them in just about every country I've ever been to by old women, young women, old men, and young men. I even get them from the barber every time I get my hair cut.

I'm a relaxed mo-fo.

[TJR178]

haha, that reminds me. i tried out chiropratic for a while. it was alright, but the guy turned me off to it with his holistic mumbo jumbo.

anyways, one time i was on the table and he is cracking my back and whatnot. he pushes down on my mid back and my stomach compresses and a nice long, wet sounding fart came out. if i hadn't been laughing i would have been pretty embarrassed for jsut farting on this dude. he chuckled and said "well, people do get relaxed during this."

LOL

That's some funny shiz right there.

I can't stop laughing at my desk right now..

[TJR178]

I've had a few.  Most were uneventful.  The Thai (think mix of massage and yoga) massage was by far the best.  The therapist had my body in all sorts of positions I thought weren't possible.

B has had a couple.  He enjoys them. 

That sounds like something I'd need - yoga massage.

I'm as flexible as a 2x4.

[il d00d]

My friend and I got massages in Amsterdam once.  It is not what you think. 

We were making the most of Dutch tolerance one day when we decided we would like to reach a transcendent level of relaxation, having just laid down a very nice base coat.  Out of body experience-ish, my friend said.  A capital idea, I said. We asked around, then wandered around for what felt like four days looking for the the Thai place recommended to us.

When we walked in we were cordially informed almost immediately that it was not a brothel despite looking exactly like a South Asian brothel.  Cool with us.  Nothing funny, we just want the transcendental relaxation package.  We paid up, and were escorted to our respective rooms.

My massage was great from what I remember - I fell asleep fairly early on. There was tea and a tiny Thai woman waiting for me when I woke up.  I got a shower too, which may have been the best part of all.  They had American water pressure.

I met up with my friend who looked less relaxed than I felt. 
How was it? 
Kind of make the beast with two backsed up, honestly - you know my right foot?
The one on your right, I know the one. 
Well, I was laying on my stomach, and she made it touch my left shoulder.

He went on to describe an experience that sounded like it satisfied his masseuse's sadism more than it satisfied his desire for any level of relaxation, or for that matter, lack of pain.  She went as far as to laugh at him when he complained, asked him if he was a "ladyboy".  Essentially, he paid this woman to kick his ass in slow motion.

That sucks, I said, making no effort to hide how hilarious it was.  Say, how about we go be tolerated ladyboy?
make the beast with two backs you.  And yes.

[NuTTs]

I visit my physiotherapist once a week if possible to help me with my back and neck problems. Apart from massage, stretching and cracking sounds from my joints he's also started treating me with acupuncture... and it works a treat! 

[TJR178]

My friend and I got massages in Amsterdam once.  It is not what you think. 

We were making the most of Dutch tolerance one day when we decided we would like to reach a transcendent level of relaxation, having just laid down a very nice base coat.  Out of body experience-ish, my friend said.  A capital idea, I said. We asked around, then wandered around for what felt like four days looking for the the Thai place recommended to us.

When we walked in we were cordially informed almost immediately that it was not a brothel despite looking exactly like a South Asian brothel.  Cool with us.  Nothing funny, we just want the transcendental relaxation package.  We paid up, and were escorted to our respective rooms.

My massage was great from what I remember - I fell asleep fairly early on. There was tea and a tiny Thai woman waiting for me when I woke up.  I got a shower too, which may have been the best part of all.  They had American water pressure.

I met up with my friend who looked less relaxed than I felt. 
How was it? 
Kind of make the beast with two backsed up, honestly - you know my right foot?
The one on your right, I know the one. 
Well, I was laying on my stomach, and she made it touch my left shoulder.

He went on to describe an experience that sounded like it satisfied his masseuse's sadism more than it satisfied his desire for any level of relaxation, or for that matter, lack of pain.  She went as far as to laugh at him when he complained, asked him if he was a "ladyboy".  Essentially, he paid this woman to kick his ass in slow motion.

That sucks, I said, making no effort to hide how hilarious it was.  Say, how about we go be tolerated ladyboy?
make the beast with two backs you.  And yes.

Good story!

[ducatiz]

I've gotten so many massages (therapeutic) that it is basically the same as taking a dump for me.

It's just something that I need that feels good, but not in a sexual way.

Plus, the best massage therapists I've had are like 60ish chinese women.  make the beast with two backs a grandma?  Not my thing.

[Scottish]

I get massages so rarely I, enjoy every second of it... I also pay extra for for a shampoo when getting my hair did. I love having someone else to scratch that spot.

[nicrosato]

Whenever we are in Albuquerque (4 or 5 times a year), Barb and I get massages at "Betty's", a New-Agey spa. It's a gift from her son who barters some of the work he does for them for free-massage time.

I've always had females. I find it mostly relaxing. I generally don't have knots or tense muscles. I usually come close to falling asleep. It is something I don't crave and wouldn't go out of my way to do.

The one unique thing we gotten a few times is a "salt glow": When the masseuse is done with the whole rubdown thing, she rubs warm oil on your body again, then rubs what feels like sea salt all over you. It's really a neat feeling.