The Genuine/Official (more or less) NMMR Joke Thread

[Zaster]

This one is for all the older or middle aged folks:

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the panther with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!

Moral of this story...   

Don't mess with the old dogs... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.


Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more 'youthfully challenged'.

You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?

[ducducgooseme]

 

[nicrosato]

I'm old...

[Zaster]

I'm old...

You forgot the 'and I'm wise' part

[Scottish]

 

[nicrosato]

I'm too old to remember if I'm wise or not.

[Scottish]

http://ninja250.kingston.net/hand_signals/

[bonfy]

ROTFLMFAO!!!         I'm printing that out for use at the next SoCo DOG meeting.   We need to make sure we are communicating clearly.

[bonfy]

[Scottish]

  Oh my, finally a safe way to ride with my little one!  [moto]

[Scottish]

Marriage....



The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday
morning when I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to
immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some asshole
using my stuff."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

[Kawboy]

Sooooo   . . .   She actually said that, uh?          I think I would have reworded it slightly.

[Zaster]

Somewhere near  Rochester, NY

Ed (not DucDog)  set out to bag his buck at 5:30 a.m.

By 11:30 a.m., he was exhausted and hungry...and still no buck.

At 12 noon, the mighty hunter Ed guards the remains of his lunch

while a passerby snaps a quiet photo

while trying not to startle the deer with a belly laugh.  

[Zaster]

Ok, one more:

[dusty]

Both very funny...