DMF joke thread

[Howie]

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
'I went to visit my Nana'.

No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!'
She then asked Mitchell what he had done
'I took a ride on a choo-choo'.

She said. 'No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words'.

She then asked little Alex what he had done?

'I read a book' he replied.

That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said.

'What book did you read?'





Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,
'Winnie the SHIT'

         

[The Bacon Junkie]

Winnie the SHIT!!!!   

What goes "VROOOM... SCREEECHH, VROOOM... SCHREEECHH, VROOOM... SCREEECHH?
























A blond driving through a blinking red light! 

BANG, ZIIING!!!!!

[lethe]

What goes CLIP CLOP, CLIP CLOP, CLIP CLOP, ***BANG*** , CLIP CLOP






























Amish driveby shooting

[Doctor Woodrow]

What goes Clip,clop,clip,clop,clip,clop . . . twang, thwack!! . . Clip,clop,clip,clop.

























Native American Drive-by shooting.

[Porsche Monkey]

    lame

[NorDog]

  lame

Especially when you consider that "Native Americans" are not know for riding around in Amish buggies.

[lethe]

Especially when you consider that "Native Americans" are not know for riding around in Amish buggies.

and they look horrid with the chin beard thing.

[The Bacon Junkie]

 

[Doctor Woodrow]

Awww, c'mon, give a guy a break. Three years of graduate work at 35-40 credit hours per week (yes thats 35-40 hours of CLASS time every week) have fried my brain a bit. Plus I ride horses a lot when not busy with school or Ducs, so I thought it was a little funny.

The Doc

[The Bacon Junkie]

I was going to chime in that Indians didn't shoe their horses, so there wouldn't be any clip-clop.

Just a sort of soft thud-thud...   

[lethe]

I was going to chime in that Indians didn't shoe their horses, so there wouldn't be any clip-clop.

Just a sort of soft thud-thud...   

Silence, silence, silence . . . twang, thwack!! . . silence, silence



Ninja Native American Drive-by shooting.

[Mojo S2R]

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang



Dick Van Dyke drive-by fly-by shooting

[Desert Dust]

Do you know what they call a drive by shooting in China?













cappuccino

[The Bacon Junkie]

Silence, silence, silence . . . twang, thwack!! . . silence, silence



Ninja Native American Drive-by shooting.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang



Dick Van Dyke drive-by fly-by shooting

Do you know what they call a drive by shooting in China?


cappuccino

  I don't get it...

[Monsterlover]

cap-a-chino. . .