as if today didn't have enough twists and turns in it.....

[zooom]

Do I come across as a bad guy if I say I'm not pleased as punch about it?


I have always been one of those "learn by your mistakes" kind of guys.  I did lots of learn'n back when I was young. I didn't take advice from others and have paid the price for it.... with interest.

I must have given the "don't do what I did/do" advice to the kids 11tyb times. I even used flashcards.

My son listened and took to path I was to stupid to take.

My daughter.... not so much.

She's 20.... unemployed..... she got herself into a lease on house.... her longtime boyfriend left..... and the baby's father is....... some guy she knew who drinks, parties, and just moved out of state.

It's not how I had hoped to start my Pa Pa career.

I don't say that as a selfish thing.... I say that after being raised by a single parent  and having been a single parent myself. It's not the life I want to see my child and grand child have to live.

I understand your feelings...having been raised by a single parent ( my Mom ) and the way she had tackled the whole debate about what not to do was this...

she sat me down in my early teens and told me "I know, no matter what I say, you are going to do what ever the hell you are going to do anyway, so here are the 2 ground rules. No stray kids and no stray diseases!" and then proceeded to hand me a wicker basket full of condoms....it was a pretty direct and to the point thing that I retained and stuck to.

I am not a parent of my own offspring but I am about to move in with dolci and her 11yo munchkin daughter and take on some of that role for sure...I dread the conversation, but I'll do it.

[cyrus buelton]

Do I come across as a bad guy if I say I'm not pleased as punch about it?


I have always been one of those "learn by your mistakes" kind of guys.  I did lots of learn'n back when I was young. I didn't take advice from others and have paid the price for it.... with interest.

I must have given the "don't do what I did/do" advice to the kids 11tyb times. I even used flashcards.

My son listened and took to path I was to stupid to take.

My daughter.... not so much.

She's 20.... unemployed..... she got herself into a lease on house.... her longtime boyfriend left..... and the baby's father is....... some guy she knew who drinks, parties, and just moved out of state.

It's not how I had hoped to start my Pa Pa career.

I don't say that as a selfish thing.... I say that after being raised by a single parent  and having been a single parent myself. It's not the life I want to see my child and grand child have to live.

You are not a bad guy at all.

I am surprised you are as calm as you are coming across given the situation, but not sure how you are feeling/acting in real life.

My wife's youngest sister did the same thing. The Dad is sort of around, but a loser. But the sis has moved herself in the right direction and is attending nursing school, using grants from the state for housing, etc.

she is trying to make the best life possible for her son and if your daughter dedicates her life to bettering herself while also taking the best care of her child, things should work out better than if not.

[ZLTFUL]

Congrats BP. Screw the baggage shit. It's only a sidebar in this miracle.

[Triple J]

Do I come across as a bad guy if I say I'm not pleased as punch about it?

Nope, not at all.

I bet you'll enjoy being a gp though, even if it isn't your ideal situation. 

Good luck to you and your daughter. Hopefully the past drama is minimized or gone by now.

[RAT900]

Do I come across as a bad guy if I say I'm not pleased as punch about it?

Joel

No you do not come across poorly, it is hardly an ideal situation and you see it with a clarity that only comes with age and experience....2 things a know-it-all 20-something daughter lacks.  I had a similar reaction to mine a year and a half ago when she told me the news

Offspring will do what they will do...their path to walk not ours and the stubborn ones will thumb their noses at us if we attempt to map a suggested road for them....

(my daughter with my grandchild comes to mind...Harvard and MIT got her SATs before we even saw the scores and approached her to enroll....she rejected them outright and went to some Mudlands Community Granola Commune College...proving that intelligence and common sense are not joined at the hip)    

The job (like it or not) will be to show up for the grandchild and be the safety net and rational alternative to your daughter's skewed world view

because it sounds like he/she is going to need that kind of support system

and you will tap into the place in your heart and find the ways and means to do it

even though you may not, at the moment, like how your prospects look for the future

be optimistic things always change...sometimes for the better...

it is where I find myself...and my grandson is the spitting image of his father  

[TiNi]

you don't come across as a bad guy at all joel... quite the opposite imo

no matter what the situation is, i just know you are going to make an awesome pa pa.
life doesn't go backwards only forward, and she needs your love and support...
you've got mine.

[Popeye the Sailor]

He's just upset because he'll have to share the minibike.

[Grampa]

He's just upset because he'll have to share the minibike.

it got a new  carb.


it's more faster

[dolci]

you don't come across as a bad guy at all.  As parents (or even as adults) most of us can look back and see the mistakes that we have made and attempt to relay the information to our children.  THEY WILL DO WHAT THEY WANT ANYWAY.

At this point, all you can do is love and support and be there for her when/if the walls come crashing down.

My marriage was a disaster, but I did get an amazing little girl out of it.
And even if you aren't happy about it - Congratulations.

[zooom]

  but I did get an amazing little girl out of it.

I'd say more like AWESOME....but maybe I am biased...

[duccarlos]

You're the same douche you were before knowing you were gonna be gramps.

[cyrus buelton]

You're the same douche you were before knowing you were gonna be gramps.

[cokey]

Like I told my 13yr old step son..  the day your ready to grow up and have sex/make babies is the day you leave the house and live on your own..  when my 2 1/2 month old duaghter is old engh to understand, shell get the same deal.. 

Congrats man.. 

[Bun-bun]

Wow, I was going to kid around, but what I wrote was waaay too harsh, even as a joke.

Joel, You love your kids unconditionally. You'll feel the same about your GB, no matter the circumstances.

[Howie]

Do I come across as a bad guy if I say I'm not pleased as punch about it?

No.  I wouldn't be either with what you describe.  The grand chilld is even more blessed that you are around.