The DMF officiel "I've impaired myself” threed....

[brimo]

I have recently re-discovered Bloody Marys. I had forgotten how nice one was about mid morning after breakfast. Not really a good quality "I'm druunk" thread post... but just sayin'.

A variation is  "vegie mary" V8 vegetable juice+vodka+tabasco+a dash of worcestershire. Been our new year's morn breakfast staple for many a year now.

[zarn02]

Produced by 'Drink Four Brewing Company' in Lacrosse, Wisconsin (the same city as brews 'Camo'), this abomination unto the Lord comes in a 24 ounce can, and will set you back less than two dollars, ensuring that you save some of the money you made panhandling to buy a McDonald's cheeseburger or something. It is 12% alcohol by volume, and you should purchase it at a liquor store where no one knows you by name.

Appearence: The same golden yellow that you piss out the morning after too much drinking and not enough rehydrating. The foam disappears nearly as soon as it arrives. The head shown in the picture is half of what it was right after pouring, and 100% more than it was a minute afterward.



Smell: Sour and unpleasant. A smarter animal than Homo Sapien would give this the squinty-eye and cautiously back away. However, being human, and therefore mildly retarded, I shall soldier on in the interest of discovering what horrors await.

Taste: Again, sour and unpleasant. It tastes like urban decay, and the abandonment of American industry. Not quite the mouth-rape of 'Stack' or 'Tilt,' but nothing worth repeating.

Drinkability: It's drinkable, but just. I'd recommend manifold other alcoholic beverages before this.

Overall: No, it isn't as bad as the mouth-rape of 'Stack,' or the horrible sugar avalanche of 'Tilt,' but there are better high-alcohol malt liquors for just as cheap.

[zarn02]

Around here Steel Reserve comes in 16 and 24 ounce cans (and perhaps 12 packs of 12 ounce cans?) The 16oz generally packaged as 4-packs, and the 24oz sold as singles. It has a strength of 8.1% alcohol by volume. Rumor has it that in other areas the alcohol content may be different, and perhaps it comes in 40s as well. I haven't seen the forties, but it's possible they can be found if I take to shopping in areas where drugs are being sold in the open.

Appearence: A medium orange in color, Steel Reserve could actually pass for a regular beer on appearences. The head starts out fairly robust and respectable, but quickly becomes ho-hum, never quite giving up but certainly lacking the former enthusiasim. We've all been there, and I'll make the best of its middling performance.



Smell: Slightly malty and a bit sour. Not very interesting or impressive. The upside of this is that you the drinker aren't immediately frightened of your beer. Personally, I enjoy a beverage more when I'm not given the impression that it was cooked up by someone with an assistant named Igor. Your own mileage may vary.

Taste: Underwhelming. Almost no hop presence, and -somehow- also no overbearing malt. If you take a very large drink you'll also pick up on a metallic flavor. Is this intrincic to the beer, or does it come from the can? Whatever the cause, it's mild and easily dismissed. It is as though the brewers set out with the goal of making it taste like nothing at all, and quite nearly succeeded. After the eldrith horrors of 'Stack' and 'Tilt' I'm not sure whether I'm relieved, or bored. There is a slight sourness that lingers, but it's mild.

Mouthfeel: Steel Reserve is like a ninja, passing through but leaving little evidence of its stay.

Drinkability: The minimal carbonation and inoffensive (bland?) qualities of this malt liquor mean you can slam a lot of it in a short period of time. The 8.1% alcohol content means that you'll be made quite aware that you've done this.

Overall: Have you recently discovered that you're sober and don't want to be, but that you don't hate yourself enough to drink something that tastes like a caustic cleaning agent? Would you like to get a buzz going, but don't want your friends and relations to immediately start organizing an intervention? Steel Reserve is inoffensive enough (while still being high-test malt liquor) to accomplish your aims. Ridiculously drinkable, considering what it is, and still boozey enough to get a nod of approval from your local homeless population.

[KnightofNi]

we used to buy steel reserve 40s at 2 for $3 from the local bodega in brooklyn. 

i miss it sometimes. then i have a good beer and don't miss it anymore...then i look at the price of my good beer and miss it a little bit again.

[lawbreaker]

Out here Steel Reserve is Ghetto beer... 211= Penal Code for Robbery


.. and it fits

[the_Journeyman]

I busted two high school kids drinking the 211 "High Gravity" on a bus.

Girl - I promise I didn't touch it, really, I was only in the seat with him.  He brought it was drinking it!
Me - Really?  That's not the story I got from the driver or the boy
Girl - *Burst into tears* why don't you believe me, I wouldn't do that, **now wailing** I can't believe you'd think I'd do something like that!
Me - *spins monitor around, hits play, video shows shows her plain as day turning up and GULPING*
Girl - I f----n' hate school

JM

[DarkMonster620]

I busted two high school kids drinking the 211 "High Gravity" on a bus.

Girl - I promise I didn't touch it, really, I was only in the seat with him.  He brought it was drinking it!
Me - Really?  That's not the story I got from the driver or the boy
Girl - *Burst into tears* why don't you believe me, I wouldn't do that, **now wailing** I can't believe you'd think I'd do something like that!
Me - *spins monitor around, hits play, video shows shows her plain as day turning up and GULPING*
Girl - I f----n' hate school

JM

don't they know about video surveilance?

[AJ]

don't they know about video surveilance?

That kind of stupidity?

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...

[DarkMonster620]

That kind of stupidity?

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...

it would seem as if she was way to concentrated on ther excuse in case she got caught she forgot about her 15 seconds of fame ...

[the_Journeyman]

don't they know about video surveilance?

We TELL them about it, but who's going to believe the bus driver?  We have to digital cams that record to HD on the bus.  The camera locations a VERY obvious too.  This particular couple was sitting in the seat that had the best view from the rear camera! 

JM

[DarkMonster620]

We TELL them about it, but who's going to believe the bus driver?  We have to digital cams that record to HD on the bus.  The camera locations a VERY obvious too.  This particular couple was sitting in the seat that had the best view from the rear camera! 

JM

Next time tell them the new route takes them thru Elm Street ...

[KnightofNi]

so....pounders of rolling rock....$6 for a 6 pack. i'm not ashamed, but i'm not proud.

tomorrow is so gonna suck

[MendoDave]

I was told to report here for some story I made up about trolls and a big wolf on the TOSAT thread.
And I don't think anybody believed me. 

[DarkMonster620]

was it the green-brown troll or the yellow troll? ...

the wolf, did it have a mohawk?

if yes to these questions, I beleive you

[MendoDave]

The thing I remember the most about the wolf was the course matted fur and the smell of something dead. The teeth and eyes were a sickening yellow. The way it growled at the other people in the pit was terrifying. Even some of the trolls were afraid of it.