I've never met my in-laws.

[Popeye the Sailor]

Not at the wedding.

Not while I was in Chicago with the wife (in theory, their hometown).

No one has come to see the grandchild.

Never spoken to them on the phone.

Received one email, once, wishing me a "Merry Christmas".

This shit ain't normal.



I don't think they exist.




Then I consider the frequent travel of the wife.

The martial arts training.

The weapons she has in the house.

I've never met anyone who has known her for all that long.

There's only one explanation.



She must be a secret agent, leading some kind of bizarre susie homemaker/hired killer sort of double life.





In a drunken stupor, I confronted her on it last night.

Witness protection program? FBI? Mob? What is it?

She admitted to nothing.

She's been giving me a sorrowful look since. I can only assume she feels terrible about the fact she'll have to off me. The dogs have been giving me that hungry look, eyeing the choicest cuts no doubt.



Dear friends, please take this as a final request, an urgent plea.




If something happens to me, some "accident", like getting shot while resisting arrest, or falling down an elevator shaft, onto some bullets, please....avenge my death!

[IZ]

 


So I Married an Axe Murderer comes to mind

Is she skilled at butchering animals?

Does she have a girlfriend named Ralph?

[rgramjet]

What kind of weapons?  What type of Martial Arts?
Don't question a good thing.....

[ducpainter]

i'd arm myself if I were you...

and post about it all over the net.

[herm]

leave a letter with a lawyer, telling the world all about her. make sure she is aware of this, and that in the event of your untimely death, said lawyer will go to the police.

/end bad movie plot

[sbrguy]

so you are saying you are brad pitt and your wife is angelina jolie and you are telling us the plot line for the movie

Mr. and Mrs. Smith Part 2



damn that is the funniest posting Mr. Incredible has ever written.  See he does have a witty sense of humor.

[IZ]

so you are saying you are brad pitt and your wife is angelina jolie and you are telling us the plot line for the movie

Mr. and Mrs. Smith Part 2



damn that is the funniest posting Mr. Incredible has ever written.  See he does have a witty sense of humor.

She might be comparable to Mrs. Smith but he's no Mr.

[GAAN]

This goes much deeper

smoke and mirrors

He lives in a compound

has an entire structure no one has seen the inside of because a "person" rents it

Kazakhstan to go "launch satellites" and then a mystery illness

Kazakhstan has a GNP of 158 billion and they are launching satellites...right  

Never has the same car for more than 6 months

Ninja for a wife

Kid with the second name "danger"

The only explanation is Dr Evil has returned

[Popeye the Sailor]

What kind of weapons?  What type of Martial Arts?
Don't question a good thing.....

Kenpo-she's an instructor. Technically, she's paid to hurt people.

Various staffs, pointy sticks (technical name), and the like abound.



She asked me where the shovel is!

[fastwin]

You've married an alien. Duh? Now you have an alien child. Gonna put 'em in private school? Good idea!! Wish I was paid to hurt people. That's a job I could get into!

On another note: 20 extra points to your team for never having to meet the in laws. It always sucks!

[Charlief]

Don't ask any questions.... just live with it. 

Growing up, my best friends dad... "Nick" had a bag packed at all times. Honest to god if there was trouble some where in the world he was there.  My father told me not to ask any questions when I hung out over their house.

Some things I remember as a child...late70's early 80's... He was shot, stabbed and had a wicked bad sun burn from what I remember.  Now of course I realize that was a chemical burn.

Even 30 years later my friend does not know what his dad did for a "real job".

[sugarcrook]

Let's be honest.  She doesn't feel that badly about having to off you. 

[ducpainter]

Let's be honest.  She doesn't feel that badly about having to off you. 

[rgramjet]

Let's be honest.  She doesn't feel that badly about having to off you. 

You've served your purpose.....the species has propagated......now its time to die.

[Howie]

Once it is over it is over.  We will miss you