Main Menu

Funerals.....

Started by Speedbag, June 25, 2008, 05:10:33 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2 3 ... 5
User actions

Speedbag

June 25, 2008, 05:10:33 PM
Lately I've been thinking about one's mortality quite a bit, probably due to George Carlin's death and the creepy "worst way to die" thread.  ;)

Funerals, for the most part, are such a drag.  :(

When it's my time, I'd like to have one of those New Orleans deals where they slowly cart the body through town playing jazz and everyone joins the parade. Then once the group reaches the edge of town at twilight (complete with large body of water), they put my body on a big, floating funeral pyre and torch me up and shove me off like the Vikings used to do. And the party goes on until dawn.

As for a memorial, I'm thinking something along the lines of the giant statue of Jesus down in Rio. Only it would be me, dressed in a loincloth holding a fiery sword to the sky. A growling lion would sit at my feet, slightly behind, while a scantily clad, busty female with flowing hair clutches my upper thigh looking up at me in awe. That's pretty much it though, anything more would be tacky.  :)

How about everyone else?
I tend to regard most of humanity as little more than walking talking dilated sphincters. - Rat

ducpainter

#1
June 25, 2008, 05:13:21 PM
I want to dig a hole now and just be rolled in...and covered over.

no fanfare...
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


Speedbag

#2
June 25, 2008, 05:14:04 PM
Right now????  ;D
I tend to regard most of humanity as little more than walking talking dilated sphincters. - Rat

ducpainter

#3
June 25, 2008, 05:15:42 PM
Quote from: Speedbag on June 25, 2008, 05:14:04 PM
Right now????  ;D
...no....when it's time... [laugh]

I figure if the hole is already dug it will be an incentive to not make any fuss.  ;)
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


Mother

#4
June 25, 2008, 05:19:12 PM
Quote from: ducpainter on June 25, 2008, 05:15:42 PM
...no....when it's time... [laugh]

I figure if the hole is already dug it will be an incentive to not make any fuss.  ;)

that is a great idea

at 18 all males are given a plot and are required to dig their own grave

and maintain the hole until their death

at which point they are rolled in

Grampa

#5
June 25, 2008, 06:05:03 PM
in a hole out back.

and a open bar party
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

ducpainter

#6
June 25, 2008, 06:06:52 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on June 25, 2008, 06:05:03 PM
in a hole out back.

and a open bar party
Well....

yah.... ;D
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


RavnMonster

#7
June 25, 2008, 06:10:45 PM
Just drag my ass back in the woods and kick some leaves over me.
"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"
-- Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

Buckethead

#8
June 25, 2008, 06:21:33 PM
I'm all in for the party to commemorate me.

Screw the church supper and their lame pot-lucks.

Is corporate sponsorship by Patron Tequila too much to ask for?

Corporeally: Harvest whatever organs/tissues they can. The rest of it, donate to science.
Quote from: Jester on April 11, 2013, 07:29:35 AM
I can't wait until Marquez gets on his level and makes Jorge trip on his tampon string. 

Le Pirate

#9
June 25, 2008, 06:24:18 PM
toss me out of a plane high over the pacific.


free beer at the reception. anyone who shows up to my funeral reception with pot luck also gets tossed out of the plane.
....................

Grampa

#10
June 25, 2008, 06:55:08 PM
even the dwarfs
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

Buckethead

#11
June 25, 2008, 07:01:39 PM
Especially the dwarfs.
Quote from: Jester on April 11, 2013, 07:29:35 AM
I can't wait until Marquez gets on his level and makes Jorge trip on his tampon string. 

Speeddog

#12
June 25, 2008, 07:11:39 PM
Hmmm... well, cremation for me, but puhleeze make sure I'm actually dead first.

Scatter the ashes .... not sure where.
Gotta think about that.
Or maybe sneak 'em into the frame of the best MotoGP bike/rider combo at the time, so I can at least vicariously enjoy the ride.  :)

Have a big 'ol party, but no cryin' fer crissakes, I've been very lucky and had a better life than maybe I've deserved, so far.

Here's to no funerals, they suck.  [beer]
- - - - - Valley Desmo Service - - - - -
Reseda, CA
(951) 640-8908

~~~ "We've rearranged the deck chairs, refilled the champagne glasses, and the band sounds great. This is fine." - Alberto Puig ~~~

rgramjet

#13
June 25, 2008, 07:17:14 PM
Cremate me and flush me down the toilet...
Quote from: ducpainter on May 20, 2010, 02:11:47 PM
You're obviously a crack smokin' redneck carpenter. :-*

in 1st and 2nd it was like this; ringy-ting-ting-ting slow boring ho-hum .......oh!........OMG! What the fu.........HOLY SHIT !!--ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
-Sofadriver

What has been smelled, cannot be unsmelled!

CairnsDuc

#14
June 25, 2008, 07:41:15 PM
Shoot my Body into the Sun while playing "Great Balls of fire"

Mmmm Crispy!!
Print
Go Up Pages1 2 3 ... 5
User actions