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So my wife and I are splitting up

Started by Monsterlover, June 27, 2008, 07:21:02 PM

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TiNi

#75
July 08, 2008, 03:39:18 AM
it is sad...

BP you read too much bad news....

ducpainter

#76
July 08, 2008, 05:51:45 AM
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 07, 2008, 10:20:54 AM
the mark it left on your finger will go away... in time  :)
My experience is the mark left on your heart can last much longer...or not. ;D
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


TiNi

#77
July 08, 2008, 06:53:01 AM
Quote from: ducpainter on July 08, 2008, 05:51:45 AM
My experience is the mark left on your heart can last much longer...or not. ;D

definitely or not for me ;)

Grampa

#78
July 08, 2008, 07:22:06 AM
getting under somebody new, helps with the getting over somebody thing   [laugh]
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

Monsterlover

#79
July 08, 2008, 01:59:16 PM
Now that sounds like a workable solution.


Are you volunteering?


[laugh] [evil]
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Grampa

#80
July 08, 2008, 02:04:35 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 08, 2008, 01:59:16 PM
Now that sounds like a workable solution.


Are you volunteering?



[laugh] [evil]

I just lay there. I'm not much fun.
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

Monsterlover

#81
July 08, 2008, 04:35:14 PM
Well, that just makes it easy.
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Monsterlover

#82
August 04, 2008, 06:52:08 PM
So I thought Id add in an update with the latest.

She got a job here in town.  Between that and working at the health center on campus she'll make enough to get by. 

She signed her lease on an apt and moves in over the next couple weeks.

Right now, we're in the process of her applying for money to take her car, and me figuring out what to do with my 675 since her name is on it.

I've been in decent spirits the last month or so.  Except for Saturday night.  She went out with some mutual friends and I didn't get asked by her, or them.  I felt a little slighted, but I'm over it.

I don't see her too much these days, with her schedule the way it is.

Her name is off my bank acct, she's got her own now.

I talked to a couple attorneys, but neither of them wanted to work with both of us.  She found an ad in the paper advertising no-fault divorces for $195.

I called and left my address, etc.  Letter came a few days later.  Me still skeptical.

I read it over and faxed it all to a really good friend of mine in Cleveland.  He's a partner at a firm over there and works in corp. finance.  He looked it over and called the firm that runs the ads.  Got the thumbs up from him.  I also checked them out on the BBB website and on the Bar's website.  Thumbs up from those to places too.

So it looks like we're doing a $200 dollar divorce by mail.  Paperwork goes out tomorrow.  5-6 months from now we won't be married any more. 

I've found that I had a harder time telling my family and friends than I did actually accepting that I'm divorcing.

Go figure.
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Sinister

#83
August 04, 2008, 06:59:28 PM
Once it is final, expect to be depressed.  Even a little.  It's okay; it's normal.
"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

T-byrd

#84
August 04, 2008, 07:29:41 PM
Quote from: Sinister on August 04, 2008, 06:59:28 PM
Once it is final, expect to be depressed.  Even a little.  It's okay; it's normal.

Agreed.  I got the papers in the mail for both my ex and I, so I called him.  I started out dialing laughing but when he answered and I said the words outloud I burst into tears and cried.  Bittersweet moment. 

Don't be suprised if you do feel torn when the papers come, it would only be natural.

Tanya
00 M900, Il Cianghiale

TiNi

#85
August 05, 2008, 03:44:46 AM
the mutual friends part is tough...

they are like the children for couples who don't have kids.
they ask lots of questions...

hang in there ML!

Sinister

#86
August 05, 2008, 11:19:03 AM
Quote from: T-byrd on August 04, 2008, 07:29:41 PM
Agreed.  I got the papers in the mail for both my ex and I, so I called him.  I started out dialing laughing but when he answered and I said the words outloud I burst into tears and cried.  Bittersweet moment. 

Don't be suprised if you do feel torn when the papers come, it would only be natural.

Tanya

Hmmm...Tanya's divorced.  Maybe she can assist in your "grief therapy".   [evil]

;D
"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

Statler

#87
August 05, 2008, 11:50:49 AM
Quote from: Sinister on August 05, 2008, 11:19:03 AM
Hmmm...Tanya's divorced.  Maybe she can assist in your "grief therapy".   [evil]

;D

but if that goes South then the entire forum has to pick sides to stay friends with...yuck.


I'm glad I didn't ride the triple off a cliff in NH.


As to the sadness...I have had hearings where both people want the divorce and it's uncontested and was settled amicably, and both people and their witness are sobbing almost uncontrollably.  (In MD you still need a third person as a witnes and take testimony from one party and the witness for uncontested divorce).

That's part of ending something so personal.  Doesn't matter if you want it or not....it'll be sad at times.
It's still buy a flounder a drink month

Monsterlover

#88
August 05, 2008, 02:17:44 PM
Quote from: Statler on August 05, 2008, 11:50:49 AM
but if that goes South then the entire forum has to pick sides to stay friends with...yuck.


I'm glad I didn't ride the triple off a cliff in NH.

What?  :o  Did you almost do that?  Really if you crashed it, it wouldn't have bothered me (unless you got hurt)  What would have had me worried though, was how to get 600 miles home  [moto]

Hell, I almost rode it off a cliff in West Virginia  ;D

I just found out that I have to reapply for a loan without her name on it to keep the 675.  The kicker is that I also have to borrow another $1000 to do it.  Bank's policy.  I can do whatever I want with the $1000, but my payment is based on what I owe now + that thou.  :(

I'm also in the market for a KTM 950SMR (once her car is her's)  I ran the numbers, I can afford both bikes.  It actually will cost me less than it does now for my bike + her car.

I hate that I have to borrow an extra grand though.  Maybe I'll check out my local bank (use out of town CU now)

[moto]

"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Statler

#89
August 05, 2008, 03:21:26 PM
That thing's so stable I'd have to purposely aim for the cliff....  no...no close calls on the ride.  Not even close.   It was uneventfully speedy.


See if a different bank or credit union will loan you the payoff amount on your current joint loan.   You could then refi in your name alone.   It's the two of you selling it to just you for title purposes.    Surely if your bank won't someone else will and then your bank is out the loan.
It's still buy a flounder a drink month
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