So this guys taking a dump in my front yard this morning....

rgramjet · August 20, 2008, 04:46:03 PM

Im taking a shower, minding my own business when all of a sudden my wife bursts into the bathroom and says "You need to get out here right away!!!" Im like "Whaat?" She reiterates her statement and I could hear in her voice that she wasnt kidding. I towel off and go to the window facing my front yard.

Theres a black dude bunching together some newspapers and my wife told me she just saw this guy taking a shit literally in our front yard. Where the make the beast with two backs is my baseball bat???

I grab the nearest bludgeoun, a 5 iron and run outside. The guy is walking away and I get to about 15 feet from him and bellow "YO, DID YOU JUST TAKE A SHIT IN MY FRONT YARD?

" The guy was like no man, its not like that, Im lost, it was obvious the dude wasnt quite right. I told him if I ever saw him anywhere near my yard much less taking a shit, he would be tasting the business end of my golf club. Told him theres a park 100 yards away and what he did was hugely disrespectful.. Police were called. Guy walks off.

I took my son to camp.

On my way back, I come around the corner and theres my stupid friend Tom handing said dude a cup of coffee and sitting on the bench in front of his house. I roll down the window and yell to my stupid friend Tom, "What the make the beast with two backs are you doing?? That Muther Fer just took a shit in my front yard!!!!" Turns out my stupid friend Tom found out that the guy is off his meds and aint quite right. Police come by and take him to the hospital.

Im thinking about "installing" a toilet in my stupid friend Tom's front yard or maybe sending him a thank you note from "Darryl" for his hospitality with a nice snowball of toilet paper with a nice hersheys kiss in the middle of it.

ANy other ideas for my stupid enabling friend?

Randimus Maximus · August 20, 2008, 04:48:29 PM

taking a dump in his front yard tomorrow morning?

rgramjet · August 20, 2008, 04:54:49 PM

Quote from: Randimus Maximus on August 20, 2008, 04:48:29 PM
taking a dump in his front yard tomorrow morning?

That is an option that has been considered. Game on.

707soldier · August 20, 2008, 04:58:57 PM

The guy got to have some mental issues to do what he did.
I'm so glad that he was taken to the hospital to get checked out.

darylbowden · August 20, 2008, 05:03:37 PM

So, you want to do something to your friend Tom because he helped a guy who obviously needed it instead of threatening him with a blunt object?

Maybe Tom should take a shit on your lawn too.

I can understand you being pissed, but after you found out the guy was off his meds and out of the hospital, I would've hoped that you would've changed your tune a bit.

He Man · August 20, 2008, 05:05:10 PM

Ya cant blame the guy for taking a shit on your lawn if his head aint on right, and you cant blame your friend for giving the guy a cup of joe. Its not like he knew he took a dump on your law and he knew he was off his meds.

With that said. Take a dump on his lawn as a joke and ask for a cup of coffee. Thats if you are teh type of person that can take a shit in public. Most people cant.

ducati_tim · August 20, 2008, 05:14:21 PM

Quote from: He Man on August 20, 2008, 05:05:10 PM
Ya cant blame the guy for taking a shit on your lawn if his head aint on right, and you cant blame your friend for giving the guy a cup of joe. Its not like he knew he took a dump on your law and he knew he was off his meds.

With that said. Take a dump on his lawn as a joke and ask for a cup of coffee. Thats if you are teh type of person that can take a shit in public. Most people cant.

Or you could ask for the coffee first and then take a dump. Some folks find it easier that way.

rgramjet · August 20, 2008, 05:17:24 PM

Quote from: darylbowden on August 20, 2008, 05:03:37 PM
So, you want to do something to your friend Tom because he helped a guy who obviously needed it instead of threatening him with a blunt object?

Maybe Tom should take a shit on your lawn too.

I can understand you being pissed, but after you found out the guy was off his meds and out of the hospital, I would've hoped that you would've changed your tune a bit.

Its more of a joke at this point. And I didnt realize where the guy was coming from when I brandished my 5 iron.

My stupid friend Tom didnt know if this guy was a crackhead or casing his house or what have you until the police showed up and told him. He has two young daughters and I would have hoped he would have used more caution around someone whose situation he had zero clue about.

Vindingo · August 20, 2008, 05:23:27 PM

When I lived in Arizona some dude walked into my back door yelling

"they are coming after me"

It freaked me out a little and then I asked him WTF he was talking about
He kept on saying that shit so I grabbed him and brought him to the front door. He seemed like he was really really drunk, so I wasn't too worried about him trying to fight.

I threw him out of the house, and about 20 min later a cop knocked on the door looking for the dude. He was a diabetic, was drinking and hadn't taken his insulin. His girlfriend was crying saying that he was missing and if he didn't get to a hospital he could go into shock and die. 2 seconds later the dude come tubling over a 8' high fence and smashes his face on the ground. I felt bad for 1/2 second...

Crap on your neighbors lawn and dont say anything about it. See what happens

Rob Hilding · August 20, 2008, 05:49:53 PM

Quote from: ducati_tim on August 20, 2008, 05:14:21 PM
Or you could ask for the coffee first and then take a dump. Some folks find it easier that way.

hbliam · August 20, 2008, 06:41:13 PM

You sure your "friend" Tom didn't tell the guy he'd give him a cup of coffee if he went and took a dump on your lawn? Masterful.

He Man · August 20, 2008, 06:44:33 PM

Quote from: ducati_tim on August 20, 2008, 05:14:21 PM
Or you could ask for the coffee first and then take a dump. Some folks find it easier that way.

well if were gonna tlalk like that, nothing beats a steak with a garden salad.All them fibers mak'in me wanna poo.

gojira · August 20, 2008, 07:03:11 PM

Quote from: hbliam on August 20, 2008, 06:41:13 PM
You sure your "friend" Tom didn't tell the guy he'd give him a cup of coffee if he went and took a dump on your lawn? Masterful.

Hmmmm ...

Rameses · August 20, 2008, 07:57:49 PM

Quote from: Vindingo on August 20, 2008, 05:23:27 PM
When I lived in Arizona some dude walked into my back door yelling

"they are coming after me"

It freaked me out a little and then I asked him WTF he was talking about
He kept on saying that shit so I grabbed him and brought him to the front door. He seemed like he was really really drunk, so I wasn't too worried about him trying to fight.

I threw him out of the house, and about 20 min later a cop knocked on the door looking for the dude. He was a diabetic, was drinking and hadn't taken his insulin. His girlfriend was crying saying that he was missing and if he didn't get to a hospital he could go into shock and die. 2 seconds later the dude come tubling over a 8' high fence and smashes his face on the ground. I felt bad for 1/2 second...

Crap on your neighbors lawn and dont say anything about it. See what happens

make the beast with two backsing diabetics.

Magnus · August 20, 2008, 09:39:20 PM

that's what bb/pellet guns are for

News:

So this guys taking a dump in my front yard this morning....

hbliam