Good morning all. The game was fun. Now on to the playoffs.   

morning

Trundling across the Atlantic on the Queen Mary II.  Good times.

Then five days in London and return home broke.

Morning Ducatters 

-2 out there 

20 in here 

Colder than a witches tit in January..

Quote from: ducpainter on January 04, 2026, 04:48:30 PMAt the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise I'd like to offer.

Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible motorbike crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the terrible pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hug me or the children," she went on, "and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours. Eventually, they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom and all the pain he must have gone through.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief.

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Tom."

The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to correct my wife: the word is sternum."

      

High 60s in Denver today. 

Gonna be chilly tonight...about 10 below, with wind chills around -17.

Glad I'm inside.

How do you fit work into your vacation schedule?

Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

He said, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds."

When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor told him. "You did this just by following my instructions?"

The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean."

"No!," replied Mr. Johnson, "from skipping."

At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise I'd like to offer.

Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible motorbike crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the terrible pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hug me or the children," she went on, "and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours. Eventually, they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom and all the pain he must have gone through.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief.

The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Tom."

The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to correct my wife: the word is sternum."