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sleeping with the enemy

Started by Piller, February 20, 2009, 05:42:00 AM

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superjohn

#45
February 21, 2009, 06:19:46 AM
Piller, someday we need to option your life story for an HBO series and all get rich  [laugh]

In all seriousness, you don't need the extra drama with philandering girlfriends, and the drama with your boss isn't your problem.

Just roll with it and do what's best and you'll be ok.


rgramjet

#46
February 21, 2009, 06:59:38 AM
Quote from: slowpoke13 on February 20, 2009, 11:12:18 PM
I must contest this...

When I first got stationed in Norfolk I met a waitress. She was a nice girl. A buddy and I would always go to the restaurant. He would always try to pick her up. I always ended up talking to her friends (I can be a good wingman). Over time, her and I became friends (as the other dude got married). Her and I have been friends for 10 years now. I've known her through multiple boyfriends (most didn't like me). I went to her college graduation (and she hooked me up with a sorority friend). She postponed her wedding until I came off deployment so I could be in it (and walk her mom down the aisle). When her mom passed away, I dropped everything and took leave to make the funeral. Her husband and I have become friends. Every time I'm in town we hang out (which is slim from halfway around the world).

We never tried to date (even when she didn't have a boyfriend). She's known my fiance and most of my girlfriends. I know I'm straight (I've got Thai strippers that'll vouch for that).

[cheeky]

Whats she look like?
Quote from: ducpainter on May 20, 2010, 02:11:47 PM
You're obviously a crack smokin' redneck carpenter. :-*

in 1st and 2nd it was like this; ringy-ting-ting-ting slow boring ho-hum .......oh!........OMG! What the fu.........HOLY SHIT !!--ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
-Sofadriver

What has been smelled, cannot be unsmelled!

Sinister

#47
February 21, 2009, 02:21:39 PM
Quote from: cyrus buelton on February 20, 2009, 03:28:33 PM
geez, better be scared that my wife is friends with guys........



[roll]

Well, when you put it through the reality translator, "my wife is friends with guys..." means: "my wife feels the need to have friendships with men (who would probably bone her at the drop of a hat) because her feeble self-esteem is not bolstered enough just with my love and affection."

make the beast with two backs that, dude. 
"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

swampduc

#48
February 21, 2009, 02:26:37 PM
Quote from: Sinister on February 21, 2009, 02:21:39 PM
Well, when you put it through the reality translator, "my wife is friends with guys..." means: "my wife feels the need to have friendships with men (who would probably bone her at the drop of a hat) because her feeble self-esteem is not bolstered enough just with my love and affection."

make the beast with two backs that, dude. 
Dude... seriously?
Don't think you're being a little controlling or possessive there? I've got lots of friends that are women, and I don't want to nail one of 'em... well, maybe one. But you don't think that's possible? Or that your wife could have the same? There may be a little distrust there... or insecurity.
There are of course limits to this. If a male "friend" was crashing at your house while you weren't there, I can see being uncomfortable about that. But aside from that, relax a little man.
Respeta mi autoridad!

Sinister

#49
February 21, 2009, 02:35:07 PM
Quote from: swampduc on February 21, 2009, 02:26:37 PM
Dude... seriously?

But you don't think that's possible? Or that your wife could have the same? There may be a little distrust there... or insecurity.

Man bites dog, of course.  In large part, no, I don't think it's possible.  I think it goes both ways, too: I don't have female friends.  Why would I?

No, no distrust or insecurity at all. 
"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

slowpoke13

#50
February 21, 2009, 08:12:10 PM
Quote from: rgramjet on February 21, 2009, 06:59:38 AM
Whats she look like?

Pretty damn good looking. And, if the opportunity came up when we first met, I might have pursued. But, it never did and we became friends.

Quote from: Sinister on February 21, 2009, 02:35:07 PM
Man bites dog, of course.  In large part, no, I don't think it's possible.  I think it goes both ways, too: I don't have female friends.  Why would I?

No, no distrust or insecurity at all. 

Why would you not have female friends? Is the only purpose of having the other sex around to try to hump them? Is it not possible to enjoy someone's company just for the fact that you have things in common? Is the only reason you have guy friends because you're sure you won't try to sleep with them and they won't try to sleep with you?

Now, if it becomes where your wife/gf is lying to you about who she's hanging out with or is blowing you off to spend time with someone else, there's a problem. But, that problem exists whether she's hanging out with a dude or a chick.
slowpokesan

cyrus buelton

#51
February 21, 2009, 08:16:33 PM
Quote from: Sinister on February 21, 2009, 02:21:39 PM
Well, when you put it through the reality translator, "my wife is friends with guys..." means: "my wife feels the need to have friendships with men (who would probably bone her at the drop of a hat) because her feeble self-esteem is not bolstered enough just with my love and affection."

make the beast with two backs that, dude. 

I have female friends.

Does that mean I want to bone them?


Absolutely not. They are friends.
No Longer the most hated DMF Member.

By joining others Hate Clubs, it boosts my self-esteem.

1999 M750 (joint ownership)
2004 S4r (mineeee)
2008 KLR650 (wifey's bike, but I steal it)

slowpoke13

#52
February 21, 2009, 08:41:34 PM
Quote from: cyrus buelton on February 21, 2009, 08:16:33 PM
I have female friends.

Does that mean I want to bone them?


Absolutely not. They are friends.

Now, if said female friends were at the house, the girlfriend was there, and we are all enjoying a hot tub and some sake and things got "out of control..."

... Ohh wait, that's a post for a different forum...
slowpokesan

cyrus buelton

#53
February 21, 2009, 08:43:39 PM
It's pretty apparent that Sinister had some issues in the past with his female companions and male friends.
No Longer the most hated DMF Member.

By joining others Hate Clubs, it boosts my self-esteem.

1999 M750 (joint ownership)
2004 S4r (mineeee)
2008 KLR650 (wifey's bike, but I steal it)

slowpoke13

#54
February 21, 2009, 08:47:15 PM
There are some male friends I'd trust around my girlfriend. But, I'd trust my girlfriend around all guys. If not, why would you even be in a relationship with her?
slowpokesan

Grampa

#55
February 21, 2009, 08:54:58 PM
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

swampduc

#56
February 21, 2009, 09:17:56 PM
Quote from: slowpoke13 on February 21, 2009, 08:47:15 PM
There are some male friends I'd trust around my girlfriend. But, I'd trust my girlfriend around all guys. If not, why would you even be in a relationship with her?
Well said.
Respeta mi autoridad!

lauramonster

#57
February 22, 2009, 08:05:02 AM
Pillar - tough times you're going through. 

Don't let #3 get to you.  Your boss and wife are going through their own problems. 

Do not let it affect you. 

Yes you care. 

Yes you wish it weren't happening, but it is. 

Step back, take an objective look and say to yourself 'let them do whatever they want.  the situation will resolve itself and i should not interfere.  i cannot change them.' 

you can still be a friend without being emotionally entangled in their fight. 

save yourself!!!
Frickin' snow!

Piller

#58
February 22, 2009, 05:08:20 PM
Thanks for all the advice..

so I quit talking to her, and she left a long message about how much she cares about me, how much her son loves me, etc.  I still didn't talk to her, and she'd text me stuff like "no need to txt back, just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and hope you're doing well".  I still didn't say anything so she wrote "will u help me find treatment? I need to go to a hospital".  It was last night at midnight.  I didn't reply and she writes "help me".  Just seemed like some ploy to get me involved with her again.  Her car was there this AM, but wasn't there when I got back this evening, so I guess she's still alive. 

Damn crazy cops.  I kind of feel like an asshole for not calling or something - but I think that's her goal.  Anyway, I just txt'd her "what happened?  are you ok?".

Piller

#59
February 22, 2009, 05:30:17 PM
oh god.  She wrote back "I bottomed out last nite.. I need u" I'm not sure what that means, but it's the all too familiar sound of a train wreck.  I just wrote "call ev".  "E-V" is the guy who came over.  Yeah, I'm not gonna get mixed up in whatever mess that is.  I'm starting to like my  [coffee]
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