The Official "Say Anything" Thread

They attacked me in the woods and beat me with sticks. Then they put me in a large sack and carried me off deeper into the woods where they put me in a cage. She short one with a big scar on his face said that he wasn't very impressed with my size, but between me and a cow they were already roasting on the spit, he thought there might be enough.

I was in that smelly sack for what seemed to be hours gagging on the stench that was like a mix of garbage and rotten meat, but it was probably only 20 minutes, and then one of the larger ones with rotten teeth came from where they were gathered by the fire. It had a great big axe in it's hand that didn't look very sharp and I knew that it was going to hurt if he used it on me.. Just then Meg Whitman came into the clearing and all the trolls bowed down to her. She ordered that one of the other victims that they had in a pit be fed to the wolf she rode in on. Then she began talking about eating up Apple, and merging the I phone with Palm or some such nonsense.

While all the trolls were watching and listening to her. I dug a hole under the cage and crawled under neath. I made my way through the briars and stinging nettles to the swamp and hid in the tullies for quite a while. My breathing was so loud I thought they would hear me for sure. I could see their torches getting closer to me, they were right on my trail and they had that big wolf on a leash tracking my every footstep.

I figured I was done for sure when a pickup and a Camaro came driving up on a dirt road just on the far side of the swamp. They stopped about 200 feet away and three guys got out of the truck and two girls out of the Camaro. The guys pulled an old couch out of the back of the truck and threw it down the embankment into the swamp. After they had it on fire the drinks came out and they turned up the stereo.

This seemed to get the attention of the Trolls and the wolf, and I could seem them making their way over to that side of the swamp. Not wanting to wait around I made my escape through the brush to the west until I made it to the sand dunes. When I got there I just started running. The Rain the last few days had made the sand much firmer and easier to run on and so I was able to run for about 300 yards before I heard the women scream.

I was exhausted, but i just kept on until I came to the Eucalyptus grove where the trail to the house was. When I got in I just locked the door and made a rum and coke. I didn't even feed the dog, and as she sits there looking at me I can't stop thinking about the wolf. The whole thing makes me shudder.