Main Menu

DMF joke thread

Started by sno_duc, May 06, 2008, 01:31:31 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 ... 115 116 117 118 119 ... 150
User actions

Monsterlover

#1740
October 11, 2016, 03:19:35 PM
Agreed [laugh]
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Kopfjager

#1741
October 11, 2016, 03:21:15 PM
Quote from: ducpainter on October 11, 2016, 03:17:01 PM
We need that one to be put in cartoon form so it can go in the 'Wrong Comic Thread'... [laugh] [laugh]

I have a better version, but it's gotta be in person.
Woohoohoohoo! Two personal records! For breath holding and number of sharks shot in the face.

NAKID

#1742
October 11, 2016, 03:30:22 PM
Quote from: kopfjäger on October 11, 2016, 03:21:15 PM
I have a better version, but it's gotta be in person.

You have an alligator?
2005 S2R800
2006 S2R1000
2015 Monster 821

Kopfjager

#1743
October 11, 2016, 03:30:51 PM
Woohoohoohoo! Two personal records! For breath holding and number of sharks shot in the face.

ducpainter

#1744
October 11, 2016, 03:47:44 PM
Quote from: NAKID on October 11, 2016, 03:30:22 PM
You have an alligator?
...or he's a 'Toon'...



[laugh] [laugh]
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


DarkMonster620

#1745
October 13, 2016, 03:49:25 PM
Carlos
I said I was smart, never that I had my shit together
Quote from: ducatiz on March 27, 2014, 08:34:34 AMDucati is the pretty girl that can't walk in heels without stumbling. I still love her.
"When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

the_Journeyman

#1746
October 14, 2016, 07:08:23 AM
Quote from: ducpainter on October 11, 2016, 03:47:44 PM
...or he's a 'Toon'...



[laugh] [laugh]

Watch out for 'Dip'

JM
Got Torque?
Quote from: r_ciao on January 28, 2011, 10:30:29 AM
ADULT TRUTHS

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

1.21GW

#1747
November 08, 2016, 03:21:42 PM
Norm Macdonald is a comic treasure.  The whole interview is worth a watch, but the best joke is here:

http://youtu.be/L7K-kaelQEs?t=3m43s

"I doubt I'm her type---I'm sure she's used to the finer things.  I'm usually broke. I'm kinda sloppy..."

ducpainter

#1748
November 08, 2016, 06:42:59 PM
Quote from: 1.21GW on November 08, 2016, 03:21:42 PM
Norm Macdonald is a comic treasure.  The whole interview is worth a watch, but the best joke is here:

http://youtu.be/L7K-kaelQEs?t=3m43s


That was funny.

I'd watch the whole piece.
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent."


Popeye the Sailor

#1749
December 04, 2016, 05:29:41 AM
If the state had not cut funding for the mental institutions, this project could never have happened.

koko64

#1750
December 04, 2016, 07:50:02 AM
 [laugh]
Helps to sing it.
2015 Scrambler 800

triangleforge

#1751
December 05, 2016, 11:56:01 AM
Took me a while, too.
By hammer and hand all arts do stand.
2000 Cagiva Gran Canyon

GK

#1752
December 07, 2016, 08:09:27 AM
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer you'll go....

😆
2001 Ducati  Monster 900S ie
JE high comp pistons, bit of porting, open airbox with DP filter, PC3 with custom map, CCW matched injectors, Termignoni cf slip ons, 14:39 gearing.

Gone but not forgotten!
Honda VFR800i, Honda CBR600F3, Honda CBX750, Norton Commando 750S, Suzuki GS750, Yamaha XT250, Kawasaki Z250, Kawasaki KX80, Honda XL250, Suzuki TC100.

Popeye the Sailor

#1753
December 14, 2016, 08:41:17 AM
It was the night of my wife's birthday when our doorbell rang.
"Honey, I think you should get that," I winked.
Hurrying to the door, she opened it and found a man dressed in a tuxedo, standing beside a black limousine.
"Are you Madam Torrance?" he asked. She nodded, and he said, "I've been ordered by your husband to take you with me. No questions asked. He'll meet you at the other side."
Excitedly, she hopped into the car and he drove off.
Who knew hiring an assassin would be this smooth and painless!!..



I was sat on the edge of my bed last night, pulling off my boxers.

My wife turns to me and says "you spoil those dogs."
If the state had not cut funding for the mental institutions, this project could never have happened.

red baron

#1754
December 21, 2016, 08:04:35 AM
A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.

A filthy, old tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?"

She screamed, "NO! Bug off, you filthy old buzzard!"

He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations... James Madison
Print
Go Up Pages 1 ... 115 116 117 118 119 ... 150
User actions