Chuck E Cheese

[Drunken Monkey]

I have seen the face of horror. And it's Chuck-E-Cheese's face.

For his 3rd birthday my son got to pick where he wanted to have his party. He chose Chuck E Cheese. He'd been there a few times before with friends on play dates on weekdays. Now by some stroke of luck, I'd never actually been to one of these, I'd just seen the ads and had an inkling for what I was in for. Still, foolishly we got a party reservation for 5 on a Sat.

First up was the gauntlet of chain-smokers gathered up immediately outside the door. Look, I'm a recovering smoker (read as: Yeah, I still bum cigarettes) and I can see how this place might lead you to really really need a cig. But back it up a few paces people.

Once the pimply teenager guarding the front of the line let me in, past the velvety ropes, I had an immediate flashback to the NY subway system in the '80s: Loud, dangerous, overcrowded, urine soaked.

With 2 minutes I'd already lost my son. He'd made a bee-line for some sort of play structure. Little did I realize it connected to a series of tubes up on the ceiling, and naturally he'd gone up into them. The windows on the tubes were too caked with pizza grease for me to see in, but I had visions of a whole tribe of toddlers building a civilization up there, painting their faces with pizza sauce and otherwise recreating Lord of the Flies with tokens and tickets as their primary means of barter with the outside world.

Eventually I imagined my son forged the various tribes into a mighty empire, got bored and decided to return to me down the slide.

Saw at least 3 fights over tokens.
Saw tiny kids getting bounced off rides. Apparently they knew enough to put the tokens in, but not enough to buckle up.
Saw a pack of feral kids almost take down the 'clock chair'
Saw kids with absolutely no sense of "taking turns" jostle and jockey over every damn amusement available.


Things I didn't see - Adult supervision. Just lots of suicidal looking moms drinking beer amid the scattered detritus of pizza feeding frenzies and dads hogging all the available gun and basketball games.

I also saw some awesome examples of parenting. "Oh yeah, I'll give you something to cry about" or best of all, a woman flipping the bird when she posed in her 1 year old's birthday photo.

Still...
My son had a blast.
I feel downright svelte
While my parenting skills need work, it could be worse.

In short, I recharged my smug reserves for the year.

[duccarlos]

Never use a parent that takes his kids to Chuck E Cheese on a regular basis as an example of responsible parenting.

[Monster Dave]

You know, with a thread title like that, I couldn't help but think "where a kid can be a kid"....that's 20 year old marketing still stuck in my head!!


So you mean it's not like this anymore:

Chuck E Chesse's 80's commercial

[MendoDave]

I hope you didn't eat the Pizza. I have a frozen pizza in my freezer that is better than theirs.

Oh and drunk fights at chuck e cheese.

http://blogs.pjstar.com/theinformant/2010/10/06/drunk-partier-at-chuck-e-cheese%E2%80%99s-birthday-bash-tosses-a-punch/

http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/2008/12/whats-with-all-the-chuck-e-cheese-fights-.html

http://bossip.com/184094/bizarroworld-crazy-news-from-your-neck-of-the-woods-when-fights-break-out-at-chuck-e-cheese/

and so on.....

[Johnny OrganDonor]

I may need to plagiarize much of the OP sometime.  Very well put.

[ducatiz]

Good gods, I could have written Monkey's writeup. 

The CeC near us is a cesspool.  It's in a nice area, but it seems to attract the "12 member family in a beat up Honda Civic with neon accents" crowd.

The whole place looks like it needs a Biblical Flood of Lysol.

[Buckethead]

There was one near where I lived on Long Island that my hockey friends and I used to go to. Nothing like a bunch of rowdy adults getting LOADED, talking smack, and totally commandeering the ski-ball and hoops games.

Oh what horrible people we were/are. 

[cokey]

Ha thts funny.. the one here in the ghetto is actually civil.. 

[fastwin]

Drunken Monkey's account was like a bad acid flash back. Chuck E Cheese may not be the asshole of the world but you can clearly see it from there! Way too many bad b-day party experiences to mention. Damn, if one little kid wants his birthday throw down there then they all do! When my step son was little it seemed like we were going there once or twice a month. I told my wife as a business venture I should open up a sports bar next door to it. I'd be a millionaire! Those little kid b-day nightmares slowly morphed into the indoor jump house phase. Much more sane and tolerable and no greasy cardboard pizza. You couldn't get me drunk enough to be tricked into going back into a CEC. Lesson learned.

[Buckethead]

You couldn't get me drunk enough to be tricked into going back into a CEC.

Challenge accepted! 

[fastwin]

 

I forgot that they served alcohol at most of the CECs. I still don't think that would effect business at my sports bar next door. "Oh, say honey, I have to run back to the car. I forgot the paper plates for junior's cake." Proceed straight to sports bar for several quick shots of tequila while you think of your next excuse to run back to the car.

[the_Journeyman]

Chucky Cheese Hell

JM

[RAT900]

Thanks for reminding me how great it is to have that chapter of parenting behind me...I am still recovering from taking the kids to the circus at Nassau Coliseum...and that was almost 25 years ago

[IZ]

My sister just came up from Tucson to take her boyfriends daughter there.  She called and asked if I wanted to go.  Weird.  I have bnever thought about this place in years and now it's brought up in here too?!

Never taking my kid to this place!     Same goes for those fast food playgrounds. 

[mitt]

My favorite part and pretty damn accurate

", I had an immediate flashback to the NY subway system in the '80s: Loud, dangerous, overcrowded, urine soaked."