help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof

[He Man]

Electrify the barb wire fence thats smutter in bacon  grease. The grease baits them, the smell makes it irristable. and BAM once they put their tougne on it,they get fried, cut up AND your block smells like bacon children. Everyone wins.

[erkishhorde]

I don't get how you're responsible if trespassers are injured on your property. I say glue broken glass to the edge of your roof where they climb up. Then sit back with a camera and wait for the screams of pain. When the make the beast with two backsers fall off on your side of the fence you take pictures of the kids and call the cops.

Otherwise, what is along this fence? Can you electrify it somehow?

Last idea I've got for now is to shoot em with an airsoft/ bb gun.

[hyphen]

post this sign up.



and then put some tar and broken glass around the edges.  you could also line the edge of the roof with barbed wire without that much trouble.  lastly, invest in a nice 30-06 bolt action rifle.

[BWClark]

"Let's see you climb up on the roof now, pregnant doges! [insane laughter]"

Hilarious!  It's hard to compete with insanity...   

[Adamm0621]

I  would have to agree with the glass idea.  Just get drunk one night and then smash all of the empty bottles on your roof.  If the kids get cut, they won't come back.  Also, you can't get in trouble for it because you can always say that the kids broke the bottles themselves (kids love to break things).  So in summation...

1) You get to drink
2) you get to break stuff
3) the kids go away
4) you can't get in trouble for it

Nuff said. 

[cutter]

Why dont you just put barb wire on the fence?

Electrify the fence 

The fence they climb is on someone else's property, so I can't do much to it.

a couple pit bulls

I've got a dog, she keeps them on the roof, but doesn't bark unless they piss her off.

The glass idea is an option, but I think I'll escalate slowly. I like WannaDucBad's initial idea of sand for a first attempt, though I can see its effective not lasting very long (first rain). If that doesn't work I'll put the tar on- I don't know if they would dare put it on my car, my garage isn't a beauty queen so if they smear it on that I won't care. If that fails, then to glass, though I don't want to glue it down and i am not wild about them throwing it around into my yard. I was looking at it and potentially I can put  some sort of jagged edging or pidgeon pokers around the perimeter fairly easily, I just need to find some.

If I burn it my monster has no home, but make the beast with two backs if that didn't make an impression if I poured gasoline all over it while they were there and lit it. hmm. how about claymores along the roof line...

www.daisy.com

I like the winchester bb gun, even just for shooting rats... I think If I walked out onto my balcony when they were up there with that they might get worried. I don't have a real gun, and won't get one but that is close enough.  I sort of like the goofy multicolored stock target gun.

[KnightofNi]

a friend of mine had kind of the same issue.

the kids would sit back there and play basketball, break bottles, climb onot the garage roof, break the garage door, etc.

i needed a garage so i started parking my bike there. one day i came roaring up and they were back there, fresh broken glass on the ground. i stopped short, opened the garage, grabbed the broom and dustpan and told the kids to sweep it up. at first the just kinda looked at me with the typical arrogant stare, then i "calmly" told them that if i got a flat tire i would track them down them to get the money for a new one. they didn't break glass, but there were new holes in the garage door. that's when i got my friend (he's about 6'8" and in no way tiny) and we both walked back to talk to the kids. we singled out the leader and explained out side of things. he apparently got the message because they stopped hanging out back there.

so get a big scary friend to come over when they are there and explain your point of view. it might just work 




if not then i'm all for taking their pics and the pidgeon spikes.

[Popeye the Sailor]

Kids are dumb.


Leave beer up there. They'll drink it, then fall off and hurt themselves.

[turtherlips]

How are they getting on the roof? I would think of something from that angle. If they're jumping on there from a fence, do something to the fence, if they're climbing up something, take it down. I could be way off, but I wouldn't want to put too much work into altering my roof if I could avoid it.

Go watch home alone, you'll get tons of ideas 

[lauramonster]

How are they getting on the roof? I would think of something from that angle. If they're jumping on there from a fence, do something to the fence, if they're climbing up something, take it down. I could be way off, but I wouldn't want to put too much work into altering my roof if I could avoid it.

Go watch home alone, you'll get tons of ideas 

right idea - just take it farther.  Find where they're jumping up, loosen the boards and wallah! they fall injuring themselves. 

Time for sprinklers & a motion sensor.  Too bad you aimed that one sprinkle head so far to the left

[trenner]

Pitbulls, rolled in tar, then in broken glass, and electrified.  They'll chase the kids into the barbed wire and pigeon shit.  That's when you shoot them with paintballs, and take a picture.

Please post pics here when you're done.

[Triple J]

How about a motion light on a pole in your back yard (out of reach...with a protective cover over the lense), aimed at the roof.  I'm assuming they're getting up there at night, so a bright light shining on them would probably suck and make them move.

Combine this with lauramonsters idea of a motion sprinkler, and it could be really entertaining! 

[DCXCV]

Baboon.  Get one.  Put it on the roof.





Those pigeon spikes sound like a good bet - or you can combine the bird spike/electric fence idea into:

Shock Strip

[He Man]

give me $100 and gas money, ill kick all their asses. For $1000 ill make sure they are missing something from their body. a physical part.....

[Scottish]

When I lived in the ghetto we had a empty four-plex adjacent to my back yard(cul de sac's). I stopped these kids (16-17 yr olds) several times and told them to stop using my yard as a short cut between the cul de sac's, (especially because with their stupid saggy pants the couldn't jump the fence so they'd pull planks out). Now I lived in the back of the cul de sac as mentioned and the parking lot of my complex had about a three foot drop from street level, and I was diving a big ol' hotrod Chevy pick-up at the time. I came home the last time they ever did that and saw several of these punks walking away and several just clearing the edge of my building. I gunned the truck up over that dip, launching it into the air, and came down in a sideways skid aimed right at them. The look of terror was priceless. The truck barely came to a stop before I was out the door, I walked up to them and said "what the make the beast with two backs have I told you about crossing my yard?" Then I told them the next time I caught them I was gonna light their asses up then drag them back to their parents house on a chain behind my truck. I sent them back through the fence and made them walk around. Their friends came back looking for them and I told them the same thing. Now it was all a bluff cause of course you can't do that stuff, but I can be pretty facking scary when I want to be. I never saw any of those kids in my cul de sac again while I lived there. I always made sure to nod to them when I saw them around the neighborhood though so they knew I was watching. With a lot of these little ghetto punks now a days the only thing they respect is someone who's a bigger bad ass than they are.