I'll start..
Sometimes I..have to hit my wife. It helps her to listen better.
Come on..it's a joke! Actually, my wife TOLD ME she said that during lunch yesterday.
People thought she was serious. If anything, it's the other way around. [laugh]
LMAO!!
For all you whiners..
I attempted to report my thread/post to a moderator..
this is what I got back..
"You can't report your own post to the moderator, that doesn't make sense!"
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Anyway,
Sometimes. I..
Sometimes I...
... like to stop masturbating long enough to post on the DMF.
Quote from: alfisti on June 01, 2010, 07:23:36 AM
Sometimes I...
... like to stop masturbating long enough to post on the DMF.
Hey!! Me too!!
[beer]
Sometimes I..smell my dogs feet and start craving Fritos.
sometimes i...wonder how IZ got a show with his "martial arts" class
Half Pint Brawlers on Spike TV (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJJmIO9-LgE&feature=player_embedded#lq-lq2-hq-vhq)
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 01, 2010, 07:30:11 AM
sometimes i...wonder how IZ got a show with his "martial arts" class
Damn it! I saw the previews for that and knew a joke was coming!! >:(
Sometime I..wish Kni would stop sh*ttin on my threads!!
Quote from: IZ on June 01, 2010, 07:32:22 AM
Damn it! I saw the previews for that and knew a joke was coming!! >:(
Sometime I..wish Kni would stop sh*ttin on my threads!!
;D
sometimes I pretend to nut inside my gf to scare her.
Sometimes I like to sing.
Monty Python The tale of Sir Lancelot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBnL4Rj6V8M#lq-hq-vhq)
Sometimes I fart just before leaving a co-worker's area.
Accidentally, of course.
Sometimes I leave a bait fish under my brother's car seat or in the glove box when we come back from fishing
Sometimes I,
Want to take my tomahawk to people talking during movies.
Quote from: He Man on June 01, 2010, 07:48:56 AM
sometimes I pretend to nut inside my gf to scare her.
Going with the Greyhound method?
I had a friend that tried that.
He has a baby now.
... don't do what the voices tell me to do.
Sometimes I carry on an extensive 3 person conversation all by myself (usually after being alone in a car for 3 hours.)
like to post embarrassing pictures of people...especially when it iz one they sent me in a pm for some reason [roll]
sometimes I shoot meth or smoke crystal meth
Quote from: cyrus buelton on June 01, 2010, 09:25:47 AM
sometimes I shoot meth or smoke crystal meth
Sometimes I wait and see...and mysteries are explained with absolute clarity ;D
Quote from: RAT900 on June 01, 2010, 09:58:32 AM
Sometimes I wait and see...and mysteries are explained with absolute clarity ;D
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
sometimes i flick my boogers over my cubicle wall and hit people walking down the hallway behind me. I have 2 confirmed hits so far.
Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Sometimes I Miss Her
a poem by Jeff Ross
I ran into my old girlfriend yesterday.
And I backed up and ran into her again.
Sometimes I miss her.
Sometimes,
I actually give a shit.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me...
Sometimes I just wanna hit a pregnant dog
(http://www.aetv.com/rollergirls/images/rg_sport_2.jpg)
Sometimes I feel like a nut.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I think I should...
(http://curtis.lassam.net/comics/consciencecat.gif)
<sigh> never mind
I run from the cops..........on my " R ."
Dolph :)
fart only to realize it's moist, not dry. SHARTED! [bang]
Sometimes I giggle when I drive through Shartlesville Pa. on my way down south...I wonder if their HS football team is called the Mean Streaks
Quote from: muskrat on June 01, 2010, 08:31:04 PM
fart only to realize it's moist, not dry. SHARTED! [bang]
That's gonna itch when it dries!
Sometimes I have to tell the voices in my head to stop talking over each other. Gonna have to get a talking stick.
Quote from: Speedbag on June 01, 2010, 08:25:14 AM
Sometimes I fart just before leaving a co-worker's area.
Accidentally, of course.
You too...
First thing that came to mind after reading the thread title.
Rollins Band.
Sometimes i feel so small,
Sometimes i think i can beat them all,
But most of the time, i just feel confused.
I try, i really try,
I try to keep myself in line.
But its hard, and i end up feeling used.
:)
Quote from: RAT900 on June 01, 2010, 08:37:08 PM
Sometimes I giggle when I drive through Shartlesville Pa. on my way down south...I wonder if their HS football team is called the Mean Streaks
nope, its the Skid Marks
Quote from: Betty Rage on June 01, 2010, 07:56:08 PM
Sometimes I just wanna hit a pregnant dog
See, when you say it, it's funny. When I say it, people start yelling and call the cops.
Sometimes i wonder why i associate you you people.
Then its threads like this that totally redeem yourselves ;D
Sometimes I disappoint myself.
I dropped the KLR on myself AGAIN yesterday.
It was in the garage this time and it smashed me up against some smell ass trash cans full of my dogs shit.
(can't keep garbage cans outside in my complex. Against policy. Last year I bought a rubbermaid bin to put out back with a trash bag in it to throw the bags of shit in. I had it pretty well hidden in my ferns. make the beast with two backsing association found it and tried to fine me 50$. They never collected it)
sometimes I actually read JuddddDDDS posts and care
mostly not
[laugh]
sometimes I flip the dead critters my cats leave in my yard
over the 8 foot fence into my asshole neighbor's pool...
and smile when I hear the little splashes they make
I've gotten quite good at it
Quote from: RAT900 on June 02, 2010, 07:34:08 AM
sometimes I flip the dead critters my cats leave in my yard
over the 8 foot fence into my asshole neighbor's pool...
and smile when I hear the little splashes they make
I've gotten quite good at it
I nominate this for post of the year.
Please see my neighbor thread ;D
...do things I don't think will do harm or ...
... I wonder why IZ pushes the car seat back so far. ;)
I don't open my mail for days and days.
Dolph :)
...ask people intensely/inappropriate personal questions to see how they react
...reply to intensely/inappropriate personal questions such that it totally creeps out the inquirer.
sometimes I obey the speed limit..........well I did once in 1980 until I discovered 2nd gear. [laugh]
Sometimes I want to ass-rape in a bad jailhouse way, people who answer my inappropriate questions in a way that creeps me out
sometimes i say what i was thinking instead of what i should have said.
Quote from: RAT900 on June 03, 2010, 03:29:06 AM
Sometimes I want to ass-rape in a bad jailhouse way, people who answer my inappropriate questions in a way that creeps me out
[laugh]
Look out Speedsack!
Sometimes I wonder why I wonder. ???
Sometimes I don't have a clue what's going on.
Sometimes I pick a fight in a hockey game for no good reason other than I just really wanna fight someone in a setting where maximum punishment is 5 minutes of timeout.
Quote from: IZ on June 03, 2010, 07:23:26 AM
[laugh]
Look out Speedsack!
Good thing I'm hidden safely away up here in MN.... ;D
sometimes I go weee outside.
like this morning.
http://s160.photobucket.com/albums/t180/bobspapa/?action=view¤t=weeeeinthecanyon.flv (http://s160.photobucket.com/albums/t180/bobspapa/?action=view¤t=weeeeinthecanyon.flv)
...screw up so badly, that seems that nothing I do will remedy the situation.
Quote from: Darkmonster620 on June 03, 2010, 11:16:11 AM
...screw up so badly, that seems that nothing I do will remedy the situation.
are you in politics?
cuz then thats normal
Quote from: bobspapa on June 03, 2010, 11:17:25 AM
are you in politics?
No, no politics... just screwing up on a daily basis lately...
... find interesting things to post or share via the forum or emails, that don't get me into trouble...
sometimes i sit around wondering when the punchline will become clear and i will find out who or what has been screqwing with my life and laughing.
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 03, 2010, 11:27:39 AM
sometimes i sit around wondering when the punchline will become clear and i will find out who or what has been screqwing with my life and laughing.
Sometimes I recall the trials of Job and remember that God will let Satan single out certain individuals and use them as examples for the rest of us
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 03, 2010, 11:27:39 AM
sometimes i sit around wondering when the punchline will become clear and i will find out who or what has been screqwing with my life and laughing.
You need to read Venus on the Half Shell. [thumbsup]