A somewhat elitist, but at the same time strangely compelling point of view.
Written by a friend of mine, Boris Mihailovic, for AMCN (a local bike mag) and posted on the bikeme.tv forums (http://forums.bikeme.tv):
TWISTY BITS 8 DECEMBER, 2010
New post by Boris » 07 Dec 2010 14:01
ATGANFI
Hands up those of you who took up motorcycling because it was a safe and economical way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.
Now, hands up those of you who think fluoro vests and all the passive safety gear your credit card can buy makes you safer on a bike.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.
Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you fell off your motorcycle. You know, like the car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tyres, or the camber on the corner you missed was all wrong?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of arseclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to AMCN calling for my instant dismissal.
How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?
Pretty much like motorcycling then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.
Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you stiff-backed, frozen-in-place mouthbreathers spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and car radiators every weekend. But just cos there's lots of you, doesn't actually mean you have any right to ride among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the motorcycling world.
I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “motorcycle†forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own bikesâ€) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various Macca's carparks preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.
You are the ATGATT (All The Gear All The Time) morons. You should rename yourself ATGANFI (All The Gear And No F**ken Idea), as my mate Frog suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all the gear on this great planet, covered by all the fluoro ever made, is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap rider. And as you're being turned into a greasy kebab under front axle of a nice truck, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy ATGATT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black Goodyear.
“Oh, but it will mitigate the injuries,†I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defence.
Not falling off will mitigate them a lot more, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some mates and I took an L-Plater out for his first ride. Paul bought a bike on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 500km day.
Normally, my mates and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the ATGANFI garbage. You might have to ride a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Paul being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wollombi, which as any Sydney rider knows, is a very popular place to ride to on the weekend.
As we approached the notorious Lemming Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three bikes. Two R1s and a Gixxer. All piped up and growling between the thighs of the most gloriously attired ATGANFIs ever. Their brand new top-shelf leathers, boots, gloves and helmets were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.
Then it went green, and because I had a VMAX, The Door had a Rocket III, and Crew had a Speed Triple, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.
Apparently, as Paul the L-plater told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged by smelly open-face helmet wearing, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags on very large and stupid non-sports motorcycles apparently caused one of the ATGANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 30km/h. Right in front of Paul, who was wobbling merrily along as L-platers do.
“Why did he fall off?†Paul asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.â€
“He fell off because he was a dickhead that couldn't ride,†I answered.
“But he had all that really nice gear. He looked like he could really bang.â€
“Looks are deceiving,†I shrugged. “Those ATGANFI knob-smokers are like fake boobs. Fake boobs look sensational in dresses and sexy tops. But they are masters of deception. Get them naked and alone and they're nothing but sad, misshapen fleshsacks of no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the ATGANFIs.â€
I wish you all a great and good festive season.
Screw you, mang. It was cold tires. [laugh] But I agree with your buddy's thesis that the riders with the most unsafe attire are the most competent. That's what he said, right? ;D
Boris [beer]
Refreshing [thumbsup]
[clap] [drink]
[thumbsup]
darn, i just refreshed all my gears after 5 years. ;)
Your buddy is calling other motorcyclists "insufferable dickheads" while writing an article like that. Pot. Kettle.
It must be really nice for him to have been born able to ride a motorcycle perfectly right out of the womb. I'm sorry that he is not more tolerant of those us simpletons who were not touched by the hand of The Motorcycle God. We mere mortals have to learn the hard way. Slowly improving our skills while constantly reminding each other to wear full gear. Not because we think it makes us invincible (like some arrogant pricks like to think) but it reminds us that we are not perfect. That we have a lot to learn. That the Sausage Creature could be just around the next corner. That we should continually work on getting better. Some familiar twisty roads, some parking lot drill, some classes, some track days, we'll get there. One day. After many many miles. As our comfort level and riding ability allow. We'll get better.
But oh! if only we were like your buddy! Then we would be be able to stand at the top of the mountain as stare down at the ignorant masses. Those pathetic people who have no business thinking they are as great as we are. Losers who think they should be allowed to ride motorcycles when clearly your buddy should be the lone soul allowed to bestow that privilege. But we are not. We are merely . . . trying. Trying to get better. Actively working on it. And wearing gear as a precaution against disaster not as an exoskeleton made of confidence.
Douchebags like this do not help that process. He just took a huge dump on everyone who has given him a helpful tip, everyone who was tolerant of his mistakes when he was new to riding, everyone who rode behind him and corrected him even when they could have gone much faster than him at the time. Everyone who has made him the god's gift to motorcycling he seems to believe himself to be.
In short, your buddy is asshole and I hope I never have the misfortune to share a road with him.
sac
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 04:03:40 PM
....................
We are merely . . . trying. Trying to get better. Actively working on it............
...............
sac
Nice balancing post Sac.
My observation though, is that very few riders actually do what your [edited] quote says and that creates danger.
I don't think Boris really means what he writes - he is provocative and makes noise.
Not up to me to decide if this is the way to correct things......
I think he is spot on.
99.9% of accidents are preventable and he lays that out well.
mitt
I feel sorry for the guy. It's gotta be rough having a tiny penis.
he makes up for it w/ the vmax [laugh]
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
An somewhat elitist, but at the same time strangely compelling and narcissistic point of view.
Quote from: Spidey on December 08, 2010, 03:12:14 PM
But I agree with your buddy's thesis that the riders with the most unsafe attire are the most competent. That's what he said, right? ;D
I gotz me some skillz then.
There is a reason why the old saying "never judge a book by it's cover" is an old saying. They are usually true
Sacduc: brilliant response...you managed to express my same thoughts in a far better way than I could.
Those of us that live in the land of Oz know Boris's BS well, he is just like any shock jock radio announcer (but in mag form), yelling and and screaming the same shit over and over to make an name for himself. You know he actually gets paid for this shit. What a make the beast with two backswit. [laugh]
Bottom line, this guy is an over-generalizing dick.
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 04:03:40 PM
Your buddy is calling other motorcyclists "insufferable dickheads" while writing an article like that. Pot. Kettle.
Boris writes like that because he is an insufferable dickhead and as Stoppie mentioned he is being provacative ... in a way you fell for it. But you added a thoughtful and considered response to the debate. If you take away the abrasiveniess of his King Knobbhead writing style ... you both raise some good points.
My question is ... would this be published in a mainstream publication anywhere else in the world?
Oh and as my skills and knowledge have grown I have become more ATGNFI [laugh]
sneaky edit: Don kinda beat me to some of it.
I think this article needs more comment (as well as name calling because, well, he started it!) because not only is it horribly arrogant but I think this attitude is actually counterproductive when it comes to making out roads safer from poorly skilled motorcycle riders.
When I first read this I thought it was one of the better pieces of motorcycle satire I had ever read. I was literally laughing out loud. Funny stuff. And it may be. In which case it fooled me and it is make the beast with two backsing brilliant! Kudos to the author if he strapped on a douchebag persona to make a point. The self-contradiction and over the top attitude were executed flawlessly!
But I'm going to address this as though it was written seriously because I have a low enough opinion of humanity to believe that jagoffs like this can actually exist.
So I'll just go through it paragraph by paragraph:
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
ATGANFI
Hands up those of you who took up motorcycling because it was a safe and economical way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.
Now, hands up those of you who think fluoro vests and all the passive safety gear your credit card can buy makes you safer on a bike.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.
First NO ONE buys a motorcycle because it is a "safe way of getting around." We all know the risks. As for passive safety gear, well mister article writer, you blew your wad early this time. If you wanted to make the point that learning to ride better is better protection than reflective stickers you didn't have to spend two pages being a douchebag about it. What's that? "Go stand with the other idiots." Oh, I see we've gotten to the douchebaggery already.
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you fell off your motorcycle. You know, like the car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tyres, or the camber on the corner you missed was all wrong?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of arseclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to AMCN calling for my instant dismissal.
How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?
Okay. Good point there. Could have done without the self-aggrandizing at the end there, but that's okay. Telling people that they should examine there own riding abilities and decisions when they wreck is great. It probably was the rider's fault. But why so douchey about it?
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
Pretty much like motorcycling then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.
Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you stiff-backed, frozen-in-place mouthbreathers spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and car radiators every weekend. But just cos there's lots of you, doesn't actually mean you have any right to ride among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the motorcycling world.
Not doing it properly? Okay now we are getting somewhere! You got our attention and now you are going to lay out your well seasoned plan on how to go about riding motorcycles properly! Right? Right? Oh you are just gonna do some name calling. Bummer. Maybe the next paragraph will offer some insight.
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “motorcycle†forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own bikesâ€) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various Macca's carparks preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.
Vacuous garbage is much more worthwhile when it is written by professionals.
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “motorcycle†forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own bikesâ€) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various Macca's carparks preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.
You are the ATGATT (All The Gear All The Time) morons. You should rename yourself ATGANFI (All The Gear And No F**ken Idea), as my mate Frog suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all the gear on this great planet, covered by all the fluoro ever made, is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap rider. And as you're being turned into a greasy kebab under front axle of a nice truck, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy ATGATT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black Goodyear.
“Oh, but it will mitigate the injuries,†I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defence.
Not falling off will mitigate them a lot more, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some mates and I took an L-Plater out for his first ride. Paul bought a bike on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 500km day.
Hey you guys have nicknames! That's cool! We do too! Finally there is your thesis statement, right there: "Good gear won't make up for being a bad rider." You are absolutely correct. We should all try to improve our riding. Brilliant. Good point. Your only point as far as I can see. Yet there are more words. Why? Why are there more words?
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
Normally, my mates and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the ATGANFI garbage. You might have to ride a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Paul being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wollombi, which as any Sydney rider knows, is a very popular place to ride to on the weekend.
As we approached the notorious Lemming Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three bikes. Two R1s and a Gixxer. All piped up and growling between the thighs of the most gloriously attired ATGANFIs ever. Their brand new top-shelf leathers, boots, gloves and helmets were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.
Then it went green, and because I had a VMAX, The Door had a Rocket III, and Crew had a Speed Triple, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.
So this is what made me think this is satire. I'm mean its just make the beast with two backsing absurd that someone so concerned about riders safety would egg on new riders with a make the beast with two backsing drag race on public roads. This is satire right? Tell me I'm an idiot and this is satire. Hopefully I'm the one being the douchebag here. If not then here's a Safe Riding Tip just for you: when at a stop light with new riders on stupidly over powered bikes, LET THEM GO! Let them take the lead. Follow them for a a few turns. Observe them. Then pass them when it is safe. When they show up at the next stop chit chat with them. Mention that you saw them do X and maybe they should try Y next time. That might be helpful.
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 03:07:33 PM
Apparently, as Paul the L-plater told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged by smelly open-face helmet wearing, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags on very large and stupid non-sports motorcycles apparently caused one of the ATGANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 30km/h. Right in front of Paul, who was wobbling merrily along as L-platers do.
“Why did he fall off?†Paul asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.â€
“He fell off because he was a dickhead that couldn't ride,†I answered.
“But he had all that really nice gear. He looked like he could really bang.â€
“Looks are deceiving,†I shrugged. “Those ATGANFI knob-smokers are like fake boobs. Fake boobs look sensational in dresses and sexy tops. But they are masters of deception. Get them naked and alone and they're nothing but sad, misshapen fleshsacks of no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the ATGANFIs.â€
I wish you all a great and good festive season.
Well wasn't that just a little douche-cherry on top of your arrogance sundae. The guy that crashed rode over his head. Dumb indeed. Probably lots he could have done differently. Yet you don't offer one word worth of constructive criticism to those of us who know that we still have a lot to learn. Thanks for nothing. AndI still don't quite see the need to ridicule the fact that he was wearing gear when he crashed.
This was satire, right?
sac
/please tell me this was satire
Quote from: The Don on December 08, 2010, 05:32:11 PM
Those of us that live in the land of Oz know Boris's BS well, he is just like any shock jock radio announcer (but in mag form), yelling and and screaming the same shit over and over to make an name for himself. You know he actually gets paid for this shit. What a make the beast with two backswit. [laugh]
Knowing that makes it easier to swallow. I should have known. Those last few paragraphs were over the top.
I used to listen to Howard Stern (shock jock in the U.S.) back in the day. I'm sure I'd agree with most of what he said, but if you isolated it and read it back to me it would probably be offensive.
Quote from: The Don on December 08, 2010, 05:32:11 PM
Those of us that live in the land of Oz know Boris's BS well, he is just like any shock jock radio announcer (but in mag form), yelling and and screaming the same shit over and over to make an name for himself. You know he actually gets paid for this shit. What a make the beast with two backswit. [laugh]
Seriously? Someone gives him money for that drivel? make the beast with two backs me! I write better than that dude. And as anyone on this forum knows I can be just as much of a douchebag sometimes too. ;D I need an agent.
sac
/really, that's not satire?
you guys missed it, he was supposed to be "that guy" that is egotistical.
that was the point of the article, he is the one calling other riders, losers and morons, but the point of it was that when you get so full of yourself, you then become exactly the thing that you hate.
also if you see the article he is basically saying everyone else has no skills, but really puts nothing out there to say that he has any skills himself. meaning he is "that guy" the article is written from the point of view of a squid, the very people that many people say give motorcyclist a bad name, so what he is doing is saying how in his view the gear guys give motorcyclists a bad name since theya re the ones still crashing and giving motorcyclists a bad name.
interesting article but basically its typical "shock jock radio" like another poster mentioned, its all fluff, you just have to realize what he is trying to say, which i think is, stop being judgemental of others just ride your ride.
bigian,
I'm curious, is this guy really a friend of yours? Just a casual acquaintance through the moto community? Are you just trying to get him some hits on his website?
Sorry for all the name calling and such. I know its not allowed and you can ban me or whatever, but I'm really curious if this guy is like that in real life or if it is just his schtick as a writer.
sac
Quote from: sbrguy on December 08, 2010, 06:59:44 PM
you guys missed it, he was supposed to be "that guy" that is egotistical.
that was the point of the article, he is the one calling other riders, losers and morons, but the point of it was that when you get so full of yourself, you then become exactly the thing that you hate.
also if you see the article he is basically saying everyone else has no skills, but really puts nothing out there to say that he has any skills himself. meaning he is "that guy" the article is written from the point of view of a squid, the very people that many people say give motorcyclist a bad name, so what he is doing is saying how in his view the gear guys give motorcyclists a bad name since theya re the ones still crashing and giving motorcyclists a bad name.
interesting article but basically its typical "shock jock radio" like another poster mentioned, its all fluff, you just have to realize what he is trying to say, which i think is, stop being judgemental of others just ride your ride.
So it is satire?
sac
OK Sac this has gone on far enough ;) ... the guy is not a douchebag, he is Australian ... so that makes him a wanker! A somewhat self-obsessed, obnoxious, shit-stirring wanker - who in the time honoured Australian tradition takes the piss out of things [laugh]
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 06:45:24 PM
Seriously? Someone gives him money for that drivel? make the beast with two backs me! I write better than that dude. And as anyone on this forum knows I can be just as much of a douchebag sometimes too. ;D I need an agent.
sac
/really, that's not satire?
you better believe it, I'm yet to meet someone that agrees with or actually likes what he writes. From my group of friend it goes something like this, read one or two article that he has written in AMCN call him a few expletives and never read his crap again, or like me I stopped buying AMCN. I thought that would be the last I would here of him. PLEASE DO NOT LET HIS NONSCENCE ON HERE AGAIN YOUR BREAKING MY BALLS
who knows if its really satire, i think it is that is what i'm taking from it.
afterall when someone writes something so over the top and offensive and stupid its either one of two things.
1. the person really is that ignorant and stupid
2. the person meant it to be really crazy and over the top.
i think its 2, afterall if he is a shock jock and gets paid boat loads of money to do this stuff, he knows what buttons to push to set people off and is good enough at it to know what to do to get someone to pay him money to do so. the person may be offensive and repulsive, but that in and of itself knowning how to get paid for something very well shows an intelligent person to some degree thus eliminating option 1 in my view.
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 07:04:19 PM
bigian,
I'm curious, is this guy really a friend of yours? Just a casual acquaintance through the moto community? Are you just trying to get him some hits on his website?
Yeah, I consider him a good friend. I ride with him quite a bit. He's smart, surprisingly well informed, and a great person to have an argument with. (And no, thispost wasn't about hits to his site, it was all about seeing how the discussion would go over here about it.
QuoteSorry for all the name calling and such. I know its not allowed and you can ban me or whatever,
Seriously? I think I can take everything you've dished up in this thread :-)
Quotebut I'm really curious if this guy is like that in real life or if it is just his schtick as a writer.
He's actually even more like this in "real life" than you can possibly imagine - _BUT_ he's got a great manner of backing up what he says, and will happily argue, attempt to convince you, allow you to attempt to convince him, and even occasionally be convinced by your arguments and admit he was wrong. But he's often right, even if he expresses it in an over-the-top fashion.
I can fully understand why some people find him not worth listening too (he's clearly lost The Don as a reader), but I find the nuggets of truth and the differing point of view that occasionally come out in his writing/opinions fascinating...
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 08:05:34 PM
Yeah, I consider him a good friend. I ride with him quite a bit. He's smart, surprisingly well informed, and a great person to have an argument with. (And no, thispost wasn't about hits to his site, it was all about seeing how the discussion would go over here about it.
Seriously? I think I can take everything you've dished up in this thread :-)
He's actually even more like this in "real life" than you can possibly imagine - _BUT_ he's got a great manner of backing up what he says, and will happily argue, attempt to convince you, allow you to attempt to convince him, and even occasionally be convinced by your arguments and admit he was wrong. But he's often right, even if he expresses it in an over-the-top fashion.
I can fully understand why some people find him not worth listening too (he's clearly lost The Don as a reader), but I find the nuggets of truth and the differing point of view that occasionally come out in his writing/opinions fascinating...
Well then . . . um, er . . . so . . . um, yeah. I guess I don't see a different point of view here at all. All he said in the article is that people need to realize that learning to ride better will help avoid serious injury better than the best gear can. Not an unpopular view nor a groundbreaking thought. Not original at all really. Being all pissy about it is one way to put a twist on the topic, but it certainly doesn't make it any more informative. It just makes a good point sound . . . well, pissy.
I'm clearly not familiar with his body of work. Is this guy purely a commentator/critic? Does he just spout off opinion about the motorcycling community? Or does he write informative "how to" type articles or bikes reviews or something?
Also, what does he wear when he rides and has he ever crashed?
sac
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 06:45:24 PM
Seriously? Someone gives him money for that drivel? make the beast with two backs me! I write better than that dude. And as anyone on this forum knows I can be just as much of a douchebag sometimes too. ;D I need an agent.
sac
/really, that's not satire?
I'll be thy agent
10%
I guess I should explain what it was in this piece that resonated with me...
I remember back ~10 years ago, when I had a whole year or two of riding experience, and I was _always_ handing out full-of-myself advice to newer riders. I was a complete gear nazi back then (I don't think ATGATT was in wide use, at least not in Sydney in '98 or '99).
I was _probably_ insufferable. I'd scorn and deride people who _I_ thought were "not wearing appropriate gear", or riding in a way I considered dangerous, or didn't share any of another bunch of ill informed opinions I held at the time. ("You ordered a beer at lunch? While on your bike? You're an idiot!" - yeah, I was one of _those_ guys...)
But I've mellowed.
These days, I find people who choose the ATGATT philosophy for themselves interesting. When Spidey shows up at Zeitgeist, 12 blocks from his place, in race boots and full leathers and a back protector, I smile with a mixture of amusement and surprise. _BUT_ I don't have a wife and two kids and a mortgage supplied by a professional career that'd be _severely_ impacted by a 4 week hospital stay. So I just smirk t him (actually, it's Spidey, I probably stir him about it, but that's 'cause of _him_, not the ATGATT).
It's the people like I used to be that annoy me - the ones who want to tell me what _my_ opinion of appropriate gear should be.
Where I come from, the ATGATT crowd are _much_ more likely to be the evangelical doorknocking style safetygear preachers who assume I haven't thought about the issue, and that I don't have valid and reasonable arguments about when I choose to wear ATG, and when I choose to wear less that ATG. I know that a much bigger part of the risk of injury to me is _my_ state of mind and the manner I'm currently choosing to ride.
It's the uninformed advising the experienced that annoys me. And Boris rails long and hard about the uninformed offering "advice" to the even less informed. And I know I used to be one of them, and in retrospect I was fully deserving all the scorn and derision Boris is heaping on people like I used to be...
big
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 08:30:07 PM
Also, what does he wear when he rides and has he ever crashed?
He quite famously (locally) crashed one of
these (http://www.ozebook.com/cr750_files/trex.htm) at Eastern Creek a few years back, wearing the appropriate full race gear. I saw him the weekend before last, and he was wearing a tshirt and leather vest with jeans and engineers boots and a half-face helmet and riding the VMax. A ride earlier this year he was wearing a two piece leather suit and a full face and riding his ~240hp BKing.
He wears what he considers appropriate, and rides to suit his gear.
Which is pretty much _exactly_ my philosophy these days.
I'll still advise learners and inexperienced riders to wear ATGATT, because they don't have the experience with which to make judgements about what's appropriate, and they may not have the skills to moderate their riding style to help ameliorate the risk of less gear.
But don't make the beast with two backsing preach to me about it!
I know the arguments, I've made my decisions, I'll respect your decisions. Give me the same respect... (especially if you've ridden fewer miles in your entire life than I've done since winter...)
big
+1 on sac's first post.
No offence intended, and I'm sure boris can take it, but personally, from what I've read of his stuff, I think he's a make the beast with two backswit.
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 09:27:40 PM
When Spidey shows up at Zeitgeist, 12 blocks from his place, in race boots and full leathers and a back protector, I smile with a mixture of amusement and surprise. _BUT_ I don't have a wife and two kids and a mortgage supplied by a professional career that'd be _severely_ impacted by a 4 week hospital stay. So I just smirk t him (actually, it's Spidey, I probably stir him about it, but that's 'cause of _him_, not the ATGATT).
You think the guy who's surfed more pavement than the rest of the board combined should wear any less? :P
Big,
Your last two posts explained in full a concept that was barely able to be gleaned from the original article. They were informative and written with conviction without being arrogant, preachy or douchey. Thank you. I think you should write for moto magazines and this Boris character should spend his time waving his prick at people who might give a make the beast with two backs. Its all well and good that he is smart, well informed, a good and experienced rider, etc but if he can't make a simple coherent point without alienating damn near everyone who lays eyes on his work he should shut up and save the page for someone with something helpful, informative or funny to say.
Does he have naked pictures of his editor's wife with a goat or something? I truly can not understand how someone gets paid for writing something of such poor quality. What you wrote off of the top of your head was 100x better not just in terms of information but also stylistically.
In any case, thanks for the translation. You can read between the lines of any other articles you find interesting please post up. But not the original please. ;)
sac
/and the few blocks between Spidey's house and the bar can be make the beast with two backsing nerve wracking! ;D
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 09:37:41 PM
I know the arguments, I've made my decisions, I'll respect your decisions. Give me the same respect... (especially if you've ridden fewer miles in your entire life than I've done since winter...)
big
Soooooo . . . if newer riders have the exact same attitude toward gear that you had when you were a newer rider they are completely wrong for it even though you would advise them to have that attitude toward gear considering the fact they are newer riders.
Got it.
[cheeky]
sac
/its all just part of someone's personal evolution as a rider
//not everyone will get to the same place you are and no one will get there the same way
Threads like this make this forum all the more fun.
Entertainment value.............. priceless ;D
Quote from: bigiain on December 08, 2010, 09:27:40 PM
I was _probably_ insufferable. I'd scorn and deride people who _I_ thought were "not wearing appropriate gear", or riding in a way I considered dangerous, or didn't share any of another bunch of ill informed opinions I held at the time. ("You ordered a beer at lunch? While on your bike? You're an idiot!" - yeah, I was one of _those_ guys...)
But I've mellowed.
It's the people like I used to be that annoy me - the ones who want to tell me what _my_ opinion of appropriate gear should be.
Exactly, that is the point of the article that i read that basically EVERYONE INCLUDING THE AUTHOR of the article is a MORON and nobody should be thinking they are "superior" or have it right.
everyone has to make their own decisions. and the author of the article is showiing how he is bieing a complete douchebag by passing judgement on others without knowing anytihng about the other riders except what they wear, which is exactly what ATGATT people sometimes do.
He may think he is better than others but really the point of the article is that he is really saying he knows nothing about anything by being so
arrogan.
I've crashed with and without gear.
Gear wins.
Quote from: koko64 on December 09, 2010, 01:04:19 PM
I've crashed with and without gear.
Gear wins.
Maybe. But your only reach super-god-like-moto-king status when you can look into the future and know exactly how much gear you need before you even ride that day. Never wear one stitch more than your ESP tells you to or "you are doing it wrong." Until then you are and "insufferable dickhead" with no clue. Sorry. Those are the rules.
;D
Until that magical day arrives you may want to keep the gear on.
sac
I need to strengthen my KI. ;)
This will surprise you, but Boris has written some insightful, intelligent critiques of government transport policy. He has highlighted government manipulation of accident statistics and exposed anti motorcycling policies with good research and argument. That was not one of his better articles.
He should also address the NGNFI brigade.
the coolest motorcyclist I ever saw
had no gear on
and
the trail of blood from getting her head crushed by her own bike
made it across a 4 lane highway
with a turn lane no less
I pumped 2 full litres of fluid through her in 30 minutes before her heart stopped
totally make the beast with two backsing cool man
the blood I mean
made it across a 4 lane highw...oh I mentioned that already
I've crashed a bunch of times both on the street and track. I guess I have no skills.
I wear gear and have walked away every time.
I don't really care what some Aussie wanker thinks of me.
I'll continue to wear gear.
I don't care what you want to do and rarely suggest what someone else should do.
A back protector saved me in a racing incident. Leading a group of riders into a sharp right hander a crash behind me knocked me down with a rider riding over my lower back.
Besides a bruised arse I checked out ok by the medics, fixed the bike and went into the next race.
The track is safer than the street.
I wear armour every time on the street, including back protector.
How different my life might have been without that back protector.
ATGNFI is better than NGNFI.
I wear the gear because I want to lessen the damage to my body when the time comes for me to wipe out. I don't want to do it, I have to. It's expensive, takes time to put on & it's hot & uncomfortable. I've been riding for over twenty years and only crashed my little YZ moto bike at 13, and there's the two times I got hit by cabs commuting to work via bicycle in downtown DC. Those incidents hurt really bad. Goddamned right gear would have helped me, especially the elbow armors. Had a crunchy sound coming from my elbow for a year after that last cabbie ran me over.
Enjoyed the read. Satire or not it was well written and got the writers opinion across very well.
I subscribe to the, "could care less what you think about me philosophy."
But I care enough for you to know that I don't care. [cheeky]
I don't have time to explain why I do what I do. I don't care to make time to listen to you explain why you do what you do either. [cheeky]
Carry on.
sac +1 +2 +3. The Aussie... What a jerk. He probably has deserted roads to ride because no on wants to be around him.
he's wrong about 1 thing. well in my opinion anyway. I like fake boobs. I'd rather have fake boobs in my hands than no boobs at all. As decieving as they maybe.
Quote from: Justo on December 09, 2010, 10:01:53 PM
he's wrong about 1 thing. well in my opinion anyway. I like fake boobs. I'd rather have fake boobs in my hands than no boobs at all. As decieving as they maybe.
An honest man
[laugh] :D
Quote from: mitt on December 08, 2010, 04:31:00 PM
I think he is spot on.
99.99998% of accidents are preventable and he lays that out well.
mitt
Yup.
Quote from: koko64 on December 09, 2010, 01:04:19 PM
I've crashed with and without gear.
Gear wins.
I've crashed and I've not crashed.
Not crashing wins.
big
Quote from: bigiain on December 10, 2010, 03:26:58 AM
I've crashed and I've not crashed.
Not crashing wins.
big
Yeah....what Big said.
I'd ride with the Aussie Asshole. (Not you, Big....you're the Aussie Nice Fuggin' Guy, right?) I've been accused of being abrasive occasionally, too, but that doesn't stop me from spouting drivel.
BTW....did Ryan tell you that he got a new 999? Well, he did!!
big, both you and your buddy seem bugged by a particular type or rider: new/crap riders who jump on the AGATT bandwagon, get all preachy and evangelical about it and then fail to realize that they'd be better served spending that same energy trying not to run into stationary objects. Sure, I get how that sort of preachiness could be annoying.
Here's the part I don't quite get--- Of all the subsets of motorcyclists to rant about, why choose those guys?!? Aren't they a teensy minority of riders? If I'm gonna get my rant on, I can think of a billion different groups of moto-riding asshats more deserving of scorn. How often do these guys come up to you and talk shit about how you're wearing a T-shirt? Maybe its more prevalent in Australia, but around here I don't see a lot of newbies lecturing seasoned riders about AGATT. As for them spouting off on the interwebz, <shrug>.
As for your most recent comment, there's a good discussion to be had about whether crashing is ok and how to view riders who crash (or crash a lot). But that's not what your buddy was talkin' about.
I'll add that I'm also getting more lax about AGATT than I used to be. I regularly squid around town on The Blonde's scooter in sandals and a T-shirt. I also regularly go AGATT for short trips, both on motos and on the scooter. And as you've personally witnessed, I'm not averse taking AGATT to an extreme by tossing on a full race suit to bop around town. There's not really any rhyme or reason to it, other than that I've failed to develop the ability you have to tailor your riding to your level of protective gear.
But I'll tell ya, even if an experienced rider/friend makes a well-informed, reasoned choice not to wear gear, if I think it's stupid, I'm gonna say sumptin' to 'em. I might be less emphatic and preachy about it as compared to if their choice was no well-informed, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna shut up about it. Mostly cuz I like the sound of my own voice. ;D
Most preaching about AGATT I've seen has been on TOB and here. Like Spidey, I will tailor my gear to the type of riding, weather and destination. I will not wear a full suit if I'm riding down the block. I will also not wear shorts and a t-shirt if I'm braving I-95 going down to Miami.
I do suggest full face helmet and gloves to pretty much every friend, especially to those with less experience. I might even go as far as suggesting an armored jacket. But I am more likely to see a squid riding like an idiot down here than a person going AGATT.
I hope one day, mid corner, with no gear on, he comes across a patch of gravel he didn't see. All the skill in the world can't make up for crap on the road that can cause a get off: gravel, oil, animals, whatever.
I'm not the best rider in the world but i am better than most my friends and i wear my gear for 1 reason: when i do fall for whatever reason (my fault or not) i am hedging my risk to avoid as much injury as possible.
Quote from: duccarlos on December 10, 2010, 11:39:20 AM
I do suggest full face helmet and gloves to pretty much every friend rider/squid that I don't know that tries to strike up a conversation with me, especially to those with obviously less experience.
modified it it for ya...as that is what I suggest with the stated reasoning that it makes it easier to identify the corpse when the EMT's are responding and cleaning up the mess...
Quote from: jim_0068 on December 10, 2010, 12:12:19 PM
I hope one day, mid corner, with no gear on, he comes across a patch of gravel he didn't see. All the skill in the world can't make up for crap on the road that can cause a get off: gravel, oil, animals, whatever.
I'm not sure that hoping that dude crashes is the coolest thing. That said, I'd be happy to see him get smacked in the face with a horse dick. Hell, I'd be happy to see that happen to anyone. [evil]
Also, he's likely point out that if you're wearing a T-shirt and shorts
and riding accordingly, you have a lot of time to see/avoid/deal with crap in the road than if you're riding balls-out because you naively think your gear makes you invincible.
Quote from: Spidey on December 10, 2010, 12:25:00 PM
... I'd be happy to see him get smacked in the face with a horse dick. Hell, I'd be happy to see that happen to anyone. [evil]
Got a mirror? ;D
Quote from: Spidey on December 10, 2010, 12:25:00 PM
Also, he's likely point out that if you're wearing a T-shirt and shorts and riding accordingly, you have a lot of time to see/avoid/deal with crap in the road than if you're riding balls-out because you naively think your gear makes you invincible.
That's my experience, Spidey. I often ride with less than full leathers, even when I ride with my normal riding companions. It's a comfort thing to me. If I know I'm going riding balls-out, I wear balls-out gear. If I'm wearing jeans I go a bit slower in order to avoid the aforementioned hazards. My slow and other folks' slow might be considerably different. I've discovered that my 50% pace is untenable for lots of other riders, but it gives me plenty of time to react to adverse conditions.
Case in point. Two weeks ago Ryan and Carl (did Ryan tell you he got a new 999? 'Cause he did!!) came out to the ABQ. We rode up Sandia Crest. Between the previous time I had ridden the Crest road and this one it has snowed a couple of times and the road had been sanded and salted, and there was still some ice in the road from melt refreezing. At my 50% pace I encountered said sand/salt/ice and still had enough reserve to recover the slide and avoid further entanglements. I couldn't see anyone behind me when I encountered it even though we had all left our origination point simultaneously. (In fairness, the guy immediately behind me was two-up....but still)
My only point is, that if you have a depth of experience and know your level of skill you can tailor your ride to your gear, somewhat. I ALWAYS wear gloves, helmet, boots, and a jacket at a minimum, because you really never know when something outside of your depth of experience will sneak up and bite you. I don't always wear full leathers....but I often do. I figure that even with thirty years of riding experience there's still something out there I haven't seen before, so why take unnecessary risks? If that makes me an ATGATT twat, then so be it. I'd still rather not crash than test my gear. I've tested my gear several times, both on the street and on the racetrack, over the years, but it has never been intentional. I'm sure I'll test it again....unintentionally.
I always encourage the people I ride with and around to ride within their skill levels and to seek further training. I don't know everything and I regularly seek further training and advice. It's part of what keeps our shared avocation fresh to me.
You don't approve of the way I dress for my ride? Thanks. I appreciate your concern. Now, go for a ride.
Since I haven't given my personal opinion of the original article in this thread, let me say that I thought it sucked. That opinion and a two Dollar bill will get you a cup of coffee. ;D
Nobody's taking issue with the fact that Boris and his mates felt it necessary to actually RACE from the light. To me, that just kinda nullified any of his judgments of ANY rider or ANY gear setup he had laid out before it.
Sac and Iain, well stated thoughts. Thanks for balancing Boris' article with your insights.
Quote from: Cloner on December 10, 2010, 12:58:15 PM
That opinion and a two Dollar bill will get you a cup of coffee. ;D
not at Starbucks...LOL
while most of the painting here is with that broad brush of overgeneralization, I must say, some great illustrative points have been made. My only major point I am going to rebut anything with is this, as long as I don't hurt you when I ride, what the make the beast with two backs does it matter what I am wearing while I ride. We make the choices we make for ourselves, unlike the choices we made for what to wear when we were being influenced by the clicks in high school. At least, I certainly hope so, because we are adults responsible for ourselves and no one else can assume the blame for our actions.
Quote from: RBX QB on December 10, 2010, 01:26:38 PM
Nobody's taking issue with the fact that Boris and his mates felt it necessary to actually RACE from the light. To me, that just kinda nullified any of his judgments of ANY rider or ANY gear setup he had laid out before it.
Sac and Iain, well stated thoughts. Thanks for balancing Boris' article with your insights.
Sac brought that up early in the thread. You are correct in saying it invalidates any opinions the author stated. The street is no place to race, especially when baiting "poor swimmers out into the deep water".
I race with people at lights. We line up on a grid...the light comes on...the light goes out...we race ten laps. ;D
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 08, 2010, 04:03:40 PM
In short, your buddy is asshole and I hope I never have the misfortune to share a road with him.
sac
[clap]
Quote from: zooom on December 10, 2010, 01:30:01 PM
<snip> we are adults responsible for ourselves and no one else can assume the blame for our actions.
We are? :o
Quote from: zooom on December 10, 2010, 01:30:01 PM
not at Starbucks...LOL
while most of the painting here is with that broad brush of overgeneralization, I must say, some great illustrative points have been made. My only major point I am going to rebut anything with is this, as long as I don't hurt you when I ride, what the make the beast with two backs does it matter what I am wearing while I ride. We make the choices we make for ourselves, unlike the choices we made for what to wear when we were being influenced by the clicks in high school. At least, I certainly hope so, because we are adults responsible for ourselves and no one else can assume the blame for our actions.
Unfortunately, insurance isn't about personal responsibility, it's about spreading the pain among the group. We all pay for stupid.
Quote from: bigiain on December 10, 2010, 03:26:58 AM
I've crashed and I've not crashed.
Not crashing wins.
big
True.
When you crashed, did you have gear on?
Quote from: Dan on December 10, 2010, 05:28:21 PM
Unfortunately, insurance isn't about personal responsibility, it's about spreading the pain among the group. We all pay for stupid.
And we pay for those with no insurance. That drives me nuts.
Quote from: koko64 on December 10, 2010, 10:26:16 PM
True.
When you crashed, did you have gear on?
4 times in jeans/leather jacket/bike gloves/non-bike-specific boots. (two of them during a commute to/from work)
Once in full gear (the above + back protector, proper bike boots, and leather pants).
Three of those crashes were completely my fault, and yet I still didn't crash in a way that I would have been any more injured in a long sleeved shirt instead of a jacket - I'd all three times managed to wipe off enough speed after realising how badly I'd make the beast with two backsed up that the actual "crash" was little more than falling over at jogging speed or less. I didn't even scuff my gloves on the road in two of those crashes.
One of those crashes I was stationary at a red light, and wasn't keeping a watch out for the car that came through from behind me and swerved at the last minute and clipped my bike - I ended up sitting on the side of the tank without ever having touched the road. I could have been start naked in this crash, and the only danger I'd have been in was sunburn (I wasn't even at risk of burning myself on the exhaust, since the car ripped it of and sent it spinning into the intersection)
The other crash was on the way home from a weekend-away fast riding trip. I got knocked off in traffic by a Toyota Landcruiser in a queue of traffic (including me) who'd slowed to walking pace - the Landcruiser driver wasn't paying attention and hit me from behind doing maybe as much as 80kmh (50mph) - I was thrown from the bike into the dirt down the 4-5 foot embankment at the side of the road - there was damage on my helmet and forearm that showed my gear _did_ do it's job, but all the gear didn't save me from dislocating my shoulder when I landed on it.
Yes, I fully accept that "ATG" _will_ save you from some pain and hurt if you're sliding along the road (even if its only a very short slide). Some riding style choices make that particular form of crash _way_ more likely. I'll wear the gear for those rides (which is why I had the gear on in the last crash described - we'd just done ~2000km (1300miles) of _that_ style of riding.
At the same time I also acknowledge that there is no motorcycle safety gear that's going to stop me dislocating my shoulder when I land on it the wrong way - neither is any gear going to stop a car breaking my bones when it jams my leg between things.
I've made mistakes, Occasionally that's lead to a crash, and I have learnt from those mistakes and not made them again. More often mistakes have lead to "close calls", and while not quite as strong a lesson, I've learnt from many of them as well, both about how to recognise situations to not get into again in the future, as well as ways to stop those situations and situations like them from ending up in crashes.
In my experience "ATG" isn't going to help _me_ in any of the kinds of accident _I'm_ at risk of in _my_ commuting ride to work and back, or for similar "around town transport" rides. And without wanting to blow my own horn here I've got a fair bit of experience to draw from, I've not owned a car since early 1999 and have commuted 80km (50miles) a day by motorcycle every work day since then (with the exception of one month in 2003 when the government decided my license wasn't valid for 30 days...). That's about 230,00km (145,000miles) of riding to work and back, and to odometers on the three bikes add up to about 475,000km (295k miles) - a little of that non-commuting mileage will have been running around town after work or weekend, but the bulk of it will be touring or scratching rides. I've averaged 3,300km per month on a motorcycle (~2000miles/month) for the last 12 years.
Like I said upthread, if someone starts on with the ATGATT, I'm just smile (probably trying hard not to let on that it's at least slightly a condescending smirk). If they want to start telling me what to wear though, they'd better have some experience behind them and a way to show me they've done some thinking about it beforehand... If you've got less than 3 digits of mileage on your brand new current-year-model sportsbike with brand new looking leathers and this years racer-de-jour replica helmet, I _might_ be jumping to erroneous conclusions, but you're going to have to understand that I'm going to start out assuming you're probably "one of them" and disregard any argument from you until you manage to convince me your opinion is worth listening to. (At the same time, I've met a few grizzly old '70s BMW riders who appear to have had "only one years riding experience, 30 times over" - who appear to have done no more thinking about riding safety than an enthusiastic learner rider.)
ramble ramble ramble, what were we talking about again?
Oh yeah...
In my_ opinion, the most important bit of safety equipment you've got is your brain. Using your brain properly is _many_ of orders of magnitude more significant in how likely you are to hurt yourself than what gear you're wearing. If I've chosen to ride safely, the extra level of safety offered by "ATG" is so low as to be insignificant. For me, that means at least half of the riding I do - all my commuting - I'm perfectly happy not wearing "ATG".
big
Too true about using your brain and skill as the first line of defence.
As you said, not crashing wins best of all.
I'm just of the mindset of riding not to crash but gearing up like it could happen. You're right to say that all the gear in the world won't save you in some circumstances. But I reckon those with NFI need all the gear they can get!
I'm saying that there are a number of factors in the equation of working the odds as best you can; skill is one and gearing up is another, just like learning from mistakes another, having your bike working properly another, not riding pissed or stoned another, using judgement another.
Since there's no guarantees in life it's just trying to work the odds in your favour.
It's about having a fighting chance; I reckon Boris would understand that.
I'm kinda late into this discussion and no way I'm reading them all... the first upset me enough.
Wearing the proper gear for safety is not an excuse for riding like an idiot.
nor is wearing no gear a guarantee you're the safest rider in the world.
Every accident on a motorcycle could be prevented in the eyes of one hospital tech I met.... "Don't ride," he said.
Thanks, I'll take my chances.
It doesn't matter what you ride nor what you wear, an idiot is an idiot and an ass is an ass. The author of the article, is an ass. The riders he made fun of were idiots (or so he made them seem). Remember that all 'journalism' comes from the perspective of the writer.
Anyway, I wear gear that will help REDUCE or PREVENT injury IF I have an accident, whether my fault or some driver running a stop sign.
It doesn't make me a better rider, but it certainly makes me a less nervous rider. I find myself nervous if I don't wear my hard back armor. Hesitant on corners if not wearing soft or hard knee armor. and NO WAY would I ride without a helmet. I like how smart I am, however smart that is right now.
I like to ride with folks who know what they're doing. But for those newbs who ride Gixxers in shorts and tank tops....
(http://www.cbruen.com/blog/cat_overconfidence_poster.jpg)
I had the opportunity to talk to a couple of fighter pilots that had flown numbers of ugly missions in Viet Nam and other places. One of their cardinal rules was "Dress for Egress" They did not plan on being shot down, but they prepared for the eventuality every time they stepped into their aircraft. I've only been riding for 3 years, I started when I was 45. This puts me in the highest risk category for injury and accident. I don't ride without gear and at least a little first aid equipment. Longer trips or more aggressive riding causes me to pack more emergency gear, if not for me, someone else may need it, or can use it on me.
Every time I get on the bike, I prepare like I might have an unplanned get off. Works for me, YMMV.
Quote from: WarrenJ on December 11, 2010, 09:26:13 AM
I had the opportunity to talk to a couple of fighter pilots that had flown numbers of ugly missions in Viet Nam and other places. One of their cardinal rules was "Dress for Egress" They did not plan on being shot down, but they prepared for the eventuality every time they stepped into their aircraft.
Entirely appropriate - but I'll bet they don't wear the same gear when they board a 747, or even a Cessna 172...
big
Quote from: bigiain on December 11, 2010, 07:32:05 PM
Entirely appropriate - but I'll bet they don't wear the same gear when they board a 747, or even a Cessna 172...
big
try it on your next flight to the states , a chute on the back
i wonder what the fellow passengers would think if they saw the pilot all geared up ready for the skydive [laugh]
http://thekneeslider.com/archives/2010/12/13/does-motorcycle-training-reduce-motorcycle-accidents/ (http://thekneeslider.com/archives/2010/12/13/does-motorcycle-training-reduce-motorcycle-accidents/)
interesting op/ed...
the main thing i see is that everyone is different.
some lead charmed lives others don't. for the ones that don't gear might help mitigate the damage in some instance but not all. for those that lived a charmed life they don't need gear well because they won't ever get in that situation.
the question you have to ask and KNOW the answer to is which category are you in?
unless you have a crystal ball its tough to know 100% which one you are. thus the reason that some people wear gear, because they think they might be in the latter category. thus the reason some dont' wear gear they think they are in the former category.
You guys are stupid for wearing your seatbelts.
by SacDuc
Hands up those of you who got a drivers license because driving is a safe and convenient way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.
Now, hands up those of you who think child safety seats and all the air bags you can cram into your dash and doors makes you and your kids safer in a car.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.
Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you got in a car accident. You know, like the other car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tires, or the Harley sticker on your window was blocking your view?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of assclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to ducpainter demanding him to ban SacDuc.
How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?
Pretty much like driving then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.
Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you eyes front, non-texting losers, with your "ten and two" death grip on the wheel spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and semi-trucks every day. But just because there are a lot of you doesn't actually mean you have any right to drive among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the driving world.
I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “car†forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own carsâ€) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various parking lots and public "drag strips" preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.
You are the CIOT (Click It or Ticket) morons. You should rename yourself CLANFI and (Click It and No make the beast with two backsing Idea), as my pal Bacon suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all of the Sparco Racing Seats on this great planet, surrounded by the maximum amount of airbags possible is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap driver. And as you're being turned into a crushed tin can under the front axle of a diesel locomotive, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy COIT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black choo-choo train.
“Oh, but it will keep me from being thrown from the vehicle,†I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defense.
Not getting hit by a train will keep you in your vehicle a lot better, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some pals and I took a guy with a learner's permit out for his first drive. Petey bought a car on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 310.685 mile day.
Normally, my pals and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the CIANFI garbage. You might have to drive a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Petey being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wombatville, which as any Wombatvillian driver knows, is a very popular place to drive to on the weekend.
As we approached the notorious Wombat Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three cars. Two Corvettes and a Porcshe. All piped up and growling under the asses of the most gloriously strapped in CIANFIs ever. Their brand new, top-shelf five-point harnesses, racing seats, driving gloves and side impact airbags were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.
Then it went green, and because I had a pregnant dogin' Camaro Z28, bobspapa had a Mustang 5.0, and Bacon had a brand new 2010 Thunderbird, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.
Apparently, as Petey with the learner's permit told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged at by smelly drop top with no roll bar driving, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags in very large and stupid Cadillac DeVilles apparently caused one of the CIANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 18.641 mph. Right in front of Petey, who was swerving merrily along as guys with learner's permits do.
“Why did he crash?†Petey asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.â€
“He crashed because he was a dickhead that couldn't drive,†I answered.
“But he had that really nice spoiler. He looked like he could really bang.â€
“Looks are deceiving,†I shrugged. “Those CIANFI knob-smokers are like an Orange County Chopper. OCC bikes may look sensational in driveways and parking lots. But they are masters of deception. Get them on the road and they're sad, oddly shaped and over weight with no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the CIANFIs.â€
I wish you all a great and good festive season.
;D
How's the "new" SS running, Sac? [moto]
wow Sac.....bored?...
BTW...did you run over your neighbor with that pregnant dogin Camaro?
Quote from: zooom on December 13, 2010, 12:38:20 PM
wow Sac.....bored?...
BTW...did you run over your neighbor with that pregnant dogin Camaro?
I did the bulk of that while on hold with an appliance company for 5 minutes. Just changed a few words Even had time to do the accurate Km to miles conversion. ;D
sac
sac... [bow_down]
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 13, 2010, 11:24:07 AM
You guys are stupid for wearing your seatbelts.
by SacDuc
Hands up those of you who got a drivers license because driving is a safe and convenient way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.
Now, hands up those of you who think child safety seats and all the air bags you can cram into your dash and doors makes you and your kids safer in a car.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.
Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you got in a car accident. You know, like the other car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tires, or the Harley sticker on your window was blocking your view?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of assclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to ducpainter demanding him to ban SacDuc.
How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?
Pretty much like driving then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.
Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you eyes front, non-texting losers, with your "ten and two" death grip on the wheel spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and semi-trucks every day. But just because there are a lot of you doesn't actually mean you have any right to drive among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the driving world.
I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “car†forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own carsâ€) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various parking lots and public "drag strips" preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.
You are the CIOT (Click It or Ticket) morons. You should rename yourself CLANFI and (Click It and No make the beast with two backsing Idea), as my pal Bacon suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all of the Sparco Racing Seats on this great planet, surrounded by the maximum amount of airbags possible is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap driver. And as you're being turned into a crushed tin can under the front axle of a diesel locomotive, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy COIT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black choo-choo train.
“Oh, but it will keep me from being thrown from the vehicle,†I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defense.
Not getting hit by a train will keep you in your vehicle a lot better, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some pals and I took a guy with a learner's permit out for his first drive. Petey bought a car on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 310.685 mile day.
Normally, my pals and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the CIANFI garbage. You might have to drive a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Petey being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wombatville, which as any Wombatvillian driver knows, is a very popular place to drive to on the weekend.
As we approached the notorious Wombat Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three cars. Two Corvettes and a Porcshe. All piped up and growling under the asses of the most gloriously strapped in CIANFIs ever. Their brand new, top-shelf five-point harnesses, racing seats, driving gloves and side impact airbags were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.
Then it went green, and because I had a pregnant dogin' Camaro Z28, bobspapa had a Mustang 5.0, and Bacon had a brand new 2010 Thunderbird, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.
Apparently, as Petey with the learner's permit told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged at by smelly drop top with no roll bar driving, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags in very large and stupid Cadillac DeVilles apparently caused one of the CIANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 18.641 mph. Right in front of Petey, who was swerving merrily along as guys with learner's permits do.
“Why did he crash?†Petey asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.â€
“He crashed because he was a dickhead that couldn't drive,†I answered.
“But he had that really nice spoiler. He looked like he could really bang.â€
“Looks are deceiving,†I shrugged. “Those CIANFI knob-smokers are like an Orange County Chopper. OCC bikes may look sensational in driveways and parking lots. But they are masters of deception. Get them on the road and they're sad, oddly shaped and over weight with no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the CIANFIs.â€
I wish you all a great and good festive season.
Good job...WWTDWS.........( Wonder What The Dickhead Would Say ? )
Dolph
[Insert pissing myself icon]
As an Australian, I particularly liked Wombat Corner.
A nice touch. [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
[laugh] [clap]
Quote from: koko64 on December 13, 2010, 11:27:04 PM
As an Australian, I particularly liked Wombat Corner.
A nice touch. [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Ditto.
But as an Australian with a knowledge of the roads in and out of Wollombi ... you may not realise just how apt that description is.
Anyone able to put up a picture of a wombat for our o/s forum mates to see? A big fat one if possible. :D
Also, anyone hit one?
Quote from: koko64 on December 14, 2010, 01:08:48 PM
Anyone able to put up a picture of a wombat for our o/s forum mates to see? A big fat one if possible. :D
Also, anyone hit one?
Ask and you shall receive.
(http://www.punkfairy.net/graphics/fat_wombat.jpg)
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 14, 2010, 01:12:01 PM
Ask and you shall receive.
(http://www.punkfairy.net/graphics/fat_wombat.jpg)
Thank You. :D [clap]
That one's just a baby.
There is nothing like coming around a corner and being confronted with a dead wombat on your riding line ... bloated to the size of a small elephant as they rapidly decompose internally. Perhaps this was the reason the guy in the original article came a cropper ... or perhaps why he was wearing full gear in the first place.
Quote from: Betty on December 14, 2010, 01:28:13 PM
That one's just a baby.
There is nothing like coming around a corner and being confronted with a dead wombat on your riding line ... bloated to the size of a small elephant as they rapidly decompose internally. Perhaps this was the reason the guy in the original article came a cropper ... or perhaps why he was wearing full gear in the first place.
I saw one locally that looked like a furry boulder. A real 100lb fork snapper.
I wanted our o/s friends to see what we're talking about.
They are really tough eating too. You need alot of tenderizer.
what?!
Mmmm.. Wombat stew.
That baby one wouldn't be too bad, just a vealer.
I can't adequately express how happy I am that this thread has turn into a discussion about cooking baby wombats.
I love this forum. :)
sac
Quote from: Sắc Dục on December 16, 2010, 03:08:47 PM
I can't adequately express how happy I am that this thread has turn into a discussion about cooking baby wombats.
I love this forum. :)
sac
I'm quite sure you can, but I'm ok if you don't ;)
We could combine this with the foodie thread - I bet I could make wombat taste great in a Dutch Oven.
Quote from: WarrenJ on December 16, 2010, 03:44:07 PM
We could combine this with the foodie thread - I bet I could make wombat taste great in a Dutch Oven.
That's a great idea.
It isn't about gear anymore.
Quote from: Justo on December 16, 2010, 02:49:10 PM
They are really tough eating too. You need alot of tenderizer.
or a good pressure cooker!
Quote from: zooom on December 17, 2010, 05:05:53 AM
or a good pressure cooker!
Pressure cookers are great, but but like deep friers for turkeys, they are very dangerous. So be sure to were ATGATT (but even then you're probably not doing right; go stand over there).