Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: cutter on July 31, 2008, 06:23:11 PM

Title: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on July 31, 2008, 06:23:11 PM
So I live in a pretty close to ghetto part of Providence. I've got a house which has two detached garages (thats 2 buildings) on the other side of my driveway. They are both on the property line and there is a fence behind them that kids (probably 13 or so) climb up on and get on the roofs. A year or so ago when I was away I came back to find a bunch of roof shingles pulled off and all over the place. I called the cops and told them the scenario but they couldn't do anything, and basically they are powerless with anyone under 18 unless they do really serious stuff. Anyways, its been quiet since then. The past week or so each night some kids have been going up there. I can see them from my living room which has a little balcony, so I yell at them and they scurry away, but now they're starting to yell back. Typical bullshit from kids who have no respect for property or adults because they have absentee parents.

So I've been trying to think of things to do to "dissuade" them from going on the roof. I can't easily put some kind of barrier (barbed wire etc) based on the layout, and of course this is sue happy america so any sort of injury to the kids means I'm liable, though not sure they're parents would know how to go about that. That rules out nails, fire and projectiles.... [evil] So I've been thinking about coating the roof edges with tar or something that will either be a pregnant dog to get off or make getting onto the roofs more of a hassle than its worth. Side benefit is I'll be able to potentially ID the kids since I can't usually tell who it is.

There's no better group to ask than a bunch of hooligans like this, so what do you guys think? Any recommendations? I also can't go to far in pissing them off because I've got windows, car, motorcycle etc and they have rocks.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 06:26:49 PM


Buy them each an R1.


sac
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: IZ on July 31, 2008, 06:28:15 PM
Quote from: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 06:26:49 PM

Buy them each an R1.


sac


zing!!     [laugh] [laugh]

Nice sac!!

er..

I mean..   ???  :-[
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on July 31, 2008, 06:31:14 PM
Quote from: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 06:26:49 PM

Buy them each an R1.


sac

I like the logic, let them teach themselves a lesson
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: aaronb on July 31, 2008, 06:42:33 PM
new hobby, bee keeping.  the roof is a great place to keep you hives. 
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on July 31, 2008, 06:45:37 PM
Throw a layer of sand up there......



truthfully you can't do shit to kids. Don't yell at them, call the cops while they are up there. Let the cops come out and deal with it..... if they can get there before the kids get bored and wonder off.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on July 31, 2008, 07:07:40 PM
Quote from: WannaDucBad on July 31, 2008, 06:45:37 PM
truthfully you can't do shit to kids.

this is perhaps the most frustrating thing I have learned in the 3 years here. Its god damn lord of the flies sometimes. I have won over half the kids with kindness like fixing bikes and things, but the other half moves in and out of here so I don't know who they are.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:12:29 PM
Paintball gun.

Put up signs that say, "No trespassing.  Violators will be lit up (or whatever term you like that means shot in the ass)
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Grampa on July 31, 2008, 07:15:24 PM
invite them over to watch Charles Bronson movies.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: jdubbs32584 on July 31, 2008, 07:20:17 PM
I vote for walking outside while they're up there with a couple of GSDs and a shotgun. When you're close enough, chamber a round. Thats usually a pretty frightening sound to a kid.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: BWClark on July 31, 2008, 07:22:18 PM
I like the tar idea. Sticky tar on the hands is gross, so a nice thick layer on the edge where people will hoist themselves up would be a good deterrent. Maybe you should take to feeding birds on your roof too. Bird shit is unappealing.

The "trespassers will be shot" sign is good to, but if they call your bluff, or get a paintball in the ass, goodness knows what will happen then. At that point, I'd start putting money on the punks.

Maybe come out on crutches and nicely ask if they'll clean your gutters while they're up there. Every time they're up there ask them to do you a favor. Work is what kids hate most.  [thumbsup]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 07:23:55 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on July 31, 2008, 07:15:24 PM
invite them over to watch Charles Bronson movies.


Do you like movies about gladiators?

sac
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:28:54 PM
Quote from: BWClark on July 31, 2008, 07:22:18 PM
I like the tar idea. Sticky tar on the hands is gross, so a nice thick layer on the edge where people will hoist themselves up would be a good deterrent. Maybe you should take to feeding birds on your roof too. Bird shit is unappealing.

The "trespassers will be shot" sign is good to, but if they call your bluff, or get a paintball in the ass, goodness knows what will happen then. At that point, I'd start putting money on the punks.

Maybe come out on crutches and nicely ask if they'll clean your gutters while they're up there. Every time they're up there ask them to do you a favor. Work is what kids hate most.  [thumbsup]

See, here's the problem I have with the tar.  If IM the kid that gets tar on his hands the first thing Im going to think is "That make the beast with two backser put tar up here.  make the beast with two backs.  Where's his car. . ."

Then I'd proceed to put palm prints on the car and house.  Smear it all around.

I'd definitely escalate things.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: TiNi on July 31, 2008, 07:30:18 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:28:54 PM
See, here's the problem I have with the tar.  If IM the kid that gets tar on his hands the first thing Im going to think is "That make the beast with two backser put tar up here.  make the beast with two backs.  Where's his car. . ."

Then I'd proceed to put palm prints on the car and house.  Smear it all around.

I'd definitely escalate things.

see..... you truly are a kid @ heart... & still thinkin' like a kid  ;)
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:41:22 PM
Im so good at bad things, it's hard to stop ;D
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: TiNi on July 31, 2008, 07:49:09 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:41:22 PM
Im so good at bad things, it's hard to stop ;D

try harder  ;) [laugh]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on July 31, 2008, 07:59:59 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:28:54 PM
See, here's the problem I have with the tar.  If IM the kid that gets tar on his hands the first thing Im going to think is "That make the beast with two backser put tar up here.  make the beast with two backs.  Where's his car. . ."

Then I'd proceed to put palm prints on the car and house.  Smear it all around.

I'd definitely escalate things.

this is why i posted here!
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Bick on July 31, 2008, 08:13:54 PM
(http://daisy.com/shopping/image.php?productid=16310)

www.daisy.com

Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 08:17:54 PM
 

So killing one of them and placing his head on stake on your garage as a warning to the others would probably be overkill, huh? Yeah. Forget I said anything.


sac
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: m0t0g0th on July 31, 2008, 08:23:25 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 07:28:54 PM
See, here's the problem I have with the tar.  If IM the kid that gets tar on his hands the first thing Im going to think is "That make the beast with two backser put tar up here.  make the beast with two backs.  Where's his car. . ."

Then I'd proceed to put palm prints on the car and house.  Smear it all around.

I'd definitely escalate things.

ah, but NOW you would get some action from the police.

besides tar, you've probably got motor oil, just spread it all around especially the mounting site. 

also?  why yell, just go out there with a camera.  flash pictures.  WOO HOO.
following non-residents around our parking garage and taking their pictures got them to leave, fast, and not come back. 
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Grampa on July 31, 2008, 08:33:14 PM
Quote from: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 08:17:54 PM


So killing one of them and placing his head on stake on your garage as a warning to the others would probably be overkill, huh? Yeah. Forget I said anything.


sac

yup.... make sure to kill the biggest one. odds are he's the leader.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: B.Rock on July 31, 2008, 09:03:04 PM
I bet some of those shingles lost some nails when they got pulled out, huh? Probably bent them all upside down, sticking up and everything. Wouldn't that be a shame?
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Rev. Millertime on July 31, 2008, 09:10:16 PM
Sh!t.

Dog, cow, cat... or bird.

Find a place with lots of pigeon sh!t around, scoop it up and spread it on the roof.

OR

If they do it during the day, go get some nice shiny flashing and run it along the edge where the put their hands to pull themselves up.   Sun gets it nice and hot, burn the little fuggers hands.   Plus, flashing wouldn't look like out of place.

OR

Back on the pigeon thing.  Get some of those spikes they put along buildings to keep pigeons from landing on ledges.  Tack it down good.  Visible from the fence, and once again, isn't out of place on a roof.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: He Man on July 31, 2008, 09:29:48 PM
Why dont you just put barb wire on the fence?
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on July 31, 2008, 09:38:01 PM
or embed crushed glass along the edge. see that all over NM.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: x136 on July 31, 2008, 09:46:01 PM
(http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/5899/burninghousefm3.jpg)

"Let's see you climb up on the roof now, pregnant doges! [insane laughter]"
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: He Man on July 31, 2008, 10:29:40 PM
if there is a will, there is a way....
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Magnus on July 31, 2008, 10:45:39 PM
a couple pit bulls
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: hbliam on July 31, 2008, 11:01:55 PM
The tar is good idea. I think it would be the last time they go up there after they get that crap on them once.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on July 31, 2008, 11:03:04 PM
Electrify the fence  ;D
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: He Man on July 31, 2008, 11:32:14 PM
Electrify the barb wire fence thats smutter in bacon  grease. The grease baits them, the smell makes it irristable. and BAM once they put their tougne on it,they get fried, cut up AND your block smells like bacon children. Everyone wins.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: erkishhorde on August 01, 2008, 12:05:49 AM
I don't get how you're responsible if trespassers are injured on your property. I say glue broken glass to the edge of your roof where they climb up. Then sit back with a camera and wait for the screams of pain. When the make the beast with two backsers fall off on your side of the fence you take pictures of the kids and call the cops.

Otherwise, what is along this fence? Can you electrify it somehow?

Last idea I've got for now is to shoot em with an airsoft/ bb gun.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: hyphen on August 01, 2008, 12:13:54 AM
post this sign up.

(http://szucspetya.com/No_Trespassing_Sign-788555.jpg)

and then put some tar and broken glass around the edges.  you could also line the edge of the roof with barbed wire without that much trouble.  lastly, invest in a nice 30-06 bolt action rifle.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: BWClark on August 01, 2008, 01:42:03 AM
Quote from: x136 on July 31, 2008, 09:46:01 PM
(http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/5899/burninghousefm3.jpg)

"Let's see you climb up on the roof now, pregnant doges! [insane laughter]"

Hilarious!  It's hard to compete with insanity...   [laugh]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Adamm0621 on August 01, 2008, 02:58:08 AM
I  would have to agree with the glass idea.  Just get drunk one night and then smash all of the empty bottles on your roof.  If the kids get cut, they won't come back.  Also, you can't get in trouble for it because you can always say that the kids broke the bottles themselves (kids love to break things).  So in summation...

1) You get to drink
2) you get to break stuff
3) the kids go away
4) you can't get in trouble for it

Nuff said.  [coffee]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on August 01, 2008, 05:08:08 AM
Quote from: He Man on July 31, 2008, 09:29:48 PM
Why dont you just put barb wire on the fence?

Quote from: someguy on July 31, 2008, 11:03:04 PM
Electrify the fence  ;D

The fence they climb is on someone else's property, so I can't do much to it.

Quote from: Magnus on July 31, 2008, 10:45:39 PM
a couple pit bulls

I've got a dog, she keeps them on the roof, but doesn't bark unless they piss her off.

The glass idea is an option, but I think I'll escalate slowly. I like WannaDucBad's initial idea of sand for a first attempt, though I can see its effective not lasting very long (first rain). If that doesn't work I'll put the tar on- I don't know if they would dare put it on my car, my garage isn't a beauty queen so if they smear it on that I won't care. If that fails, then to glass, though I don't want to glue it down and i am not wild about them throwing it around into my yard. I was looking at it and potentially I can put  some sort of jagged edging or pidgeon pokers around the perimeter fairly easily, I just need to find some.

If I burn it my monster has no home, but make the beast with two backs if that didn't make an impression if I poured gasoline all over it while they were there and lit it. hmm. how about claymores along the roof line...

Quote from: Bick on July 31, 2008, 08:13:54 PM
(http://daisy.com/shopping/image.php?productid=16310)

www.daisy.com


I like the winchester bb gun, even just for shooting rats... I think If I walked out onto my balcony when they were up there with that they might get worried. I don't have a real gun, and won't get one but that is close enough.  I sort of like the goofy multicolored stock target gun.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: KnightofNi on August 01, 2008, 06:23:52 AM
a friend of mine had kind of the same issue.

the kids would sit back there and play basketball, break bottles, climb onot the garage roof, break the garage door, etc.

i needed a garage so i started parking my bike there. one day i came roaring up and they were back there, fresh broken glass on the ground. i stopped short, opened the garage, grabbed the broom and dustpan and told the kids to sweep it up. at first the just kinda looked at me with the typical arrogant stare, then i "calmly" told them that if i got a flat tire i would track them down them to get the money for a new one. they didn't break glass, but there were new holes in the garage door. that's when i got my friend (he's about 6'8" and in no way tiny) and we both walked back to talk to the kids. we singled out the leader and explained out side of things. he apparently got the message because they stopped hanging out back there.

so get a big scary friend to come over when they are there and explain your point of view. it might just work  ;D




if not then i'm all for taking their pics and the pidgeon spikes.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on August 01, 2008, 08:03:02 AM
Kids are dumb.


Leave beer up there. They'll drink it, then fall off and hurt themselves.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: turtherlips on August 01, 2008, 09:16:49 AM
How are they getting on the roof? I would think of something from that angle. If they're jumping on there from a fence, do something to the fence, if they're climbing up something, take it down. I could be way off, but I wouldn't want to put too much work into altering my roof if I could avoid it.

Go watch home alone, you'll get tons of ideas  [thumbsup]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: lauramonster on August 01, 2008, 10:54:44 AM
Quote from: turtherlips on August 01, 2008, 09:16:49 AM
How are they getting on the roof? I would think of something from that angle. If they're jumping on there from a fence, do something to the fence, if they're climbing up something, take it down. I could be way off, but I wouldn't want to put too much work into altering my roof if I could avoid it.

Go watch home alone, you'll get tons of ideas  [thumbsup]

right idea - just take it farther.  Find where they're jumping up, loosen the boards and wallah! they fall injuring themselves. 

Time for sprinklers & a motion sensor.  Too bad you aimed that one sprinkle head so far to the left [evil]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: trenner on August 01, 2008, 11:01:53 AM
Pitbulls, rolled in tar, then in broken glass, and electrified.  They'll chase the kids into the barbed wire and pigeon shit.  That's when you shoot them with paintballs, and take a picture.

Please post pics here when you're done.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Triple J on August 01, 2008, 11:14:38 AM
How about a motion light on a pole in your back yard (out of reach...with a protective cover over the lense), aimed at the roof.  I'm assuming they're getting up there at night, so a bright light shining on them would probably suck and make them move.

Combine this with lauramonsters idea of a motion sprinkler, and it could be really entertaining!  [thumbsup]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: DCXCV on August 01, 2008, 11:36:55 AM
Baboon.  Get one.  Put it on the roof.

(http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/94/77/22247794.jpg)

;D

Those pigeon spikes sound like a good bet - or you can combine the bird spike/electric fence idea into:

Shock Strip
(http://www.flybye.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=2)
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: He Man on August 01, 2008, 11:51:20 AM
give me $100 and gas money, ill kick all their asses. For $1000 ill make sure they are missing something from their body. a physical part..... [bacon]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on August 01, 2008, 12:13:34 PM
When I lived in the ghetto we had a empty four-plex adjacent to my back yard(cul de sac's). I stopped these kids (16-17 yr olds) several times and told them to stop using my yard as a short cut between the cul de sac's, (especially because with their stupid saggy pants the couldn't jump the fence so they'd pull planks out). Now I lived in the back of the cul de sac as mentioned and the parking lot of my complex had about a three foot drop from street level, and I was diving a big ol' hotrod Chevy pick-up at the time. I came home the last time they ever did that and saw several of these punks walking away and several just clearing the edge of my building. I gunned the truck up over that dip, launching it into the air, and came down in a sideways skid aimed right at them. The look of terror was priceless. The truck barely came to a stop before I was out the door, I walked up to them and said "what the make the beast with two backs have I told you about crossing my yard?" Then I told them the next time I caught them I was gonna light their asses up then drag them back to their parents house on a chain behind my truck. I sent them back through the fence and made them walk around. Their friends came back looking for them and I told them the same thing. Now it was all a bluff cause of course you can't do that stuff, but I can be pretty facking scary when I want to be. I never saw any of those kids in my cul de sac again while I lived there. I always made sure to nod to them when I saw them around the neighborhood though so they knew I was watching. With a lot of these little ghetto punks now a days the only thing they respect is someone who's a bigger bad ass than they are.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: KnightofNi on August 01, 2008, 12:16:32 PM
Quote from: He Man on August 01, 2008, 11:51:20 AM
give me $100 and gas money, ill kick all their asses. For $1000 ill make sure they are missing something from their body. a physical part..... [bacon]

we only want to injure or mentally scar them, not maim.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: MikeZ on August 01, 2008, 12:23:01 PM
Quote from: WannaDucBad on August 01, 2008, 12:13:34 PM
Now I lived in the back of the cul de sac as mentioned and the parking lot of my complex had about a three foot drop from street level, and I was diving a big ol' hotrod Chevy pick-up at the time. I came home the last time they ever did that and saw several of these punks walking away and several just clearing the edge of my building. I gunned the truck up over that dip, launching it into the air, and came down in a sideways skid aimed right at them. The look of terror was priceless. The truck barely came to a stop before I was out the door, I walked up to them and said "what the make the beast with two backs have I told you about crossing my yard?" Then I told them the next time I caught them I was gonna light their asses up then drag them back to their parents house on a chain behind my truck. I sent them back through the fence and made them walk around.
That is make the beast with two backsin great. .
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: muscle_cars_only on August 01, 2008, 12:33:42 PM
Load the roof edges and top edge down with fox piss.............Trust me they won't be back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Kyna on August 01, 2008, 12:54:23 PM
One of the people on my street had a sprinkler on their garage roof, right down the middle of the peak.  It's "misted" the entire roof.  No clue why he had it, but something like that could be turned on and at least soak the brats if they stuck around.  It's hard to climb anything with phenomia.  No damage to roof and less likely to get sued.

The glass on the roof thing - trespassers actually can sue you for an injury you knowingly cause...I vaguely remember from law school a case with a gun wired to a door of an abandoned cabin...
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on August 01, 2008, 02:34:33 PM
well I took some action based on some of the suggestions here. I realized I have one particular deterrent in plentiful supply, which is dog shit. I was due to pick it up from the yard, so instead of chucking it, I smeared it all over the roof edges where they grab onto.  Alot of it was dried out so I left it up there as a gravely substitute. I'm sure it being friday night they'll be back, I will probably be out but I have a feeling I'll know if they get there hands in it. Great thing is I can just keep smearing the dog shit up there every other day. I know there are other routes up onto the roof so its not a full deterrent.

Perhaps they'll escalate, but who knows. I'll report back. Next step is oil or something slick, or something sticky- I have some roof patch but i think it will harden up pretty quick.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: tonyj311 on August 01, 2008, 02:50:36 PM
just keep a water hose handy. I spray my cats when they dont behave and that seems to work pretty well.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: m0t0g0th on August 01, 2008, 03:19:45 PM
Quote from: x136 on July 31, 2008, 09:46:01 PM
(http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/5899/burninghousefm3.jpg)

"Let's see you climb up on the roof now, pregnant doges! [insane laughter]"

^ THIS.   [thumbsup]

but, yeah.  flash pictures means you have to get out of bed but it ALSO means you have 100% high-road; evidence and no damage to poor little children.

damn, almost makes me wish i hated my neighbors again.  they've been so cool lately..

[popcorn]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on August 02, 2008, 10:59:31 AM
well there is definitely some poop displacement as of today... ;) the really good and wet smeared stuff was on the ground so somebody got shit fingers.

there were also a few big rocks up there, I'm not sure what they were thinking.... I didn't change the poop at all, but I did put some roofing tar on the place where they were stepping on the fence on my property, just for me to more easily tell if they are stopping by.

I think if they keep coming I'll just sit up there wearing black with a 6 pack and have a little talk when they come and visit.  If they're nice I'll let them climb down.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on August 02, 2008, 11:27:56 AM
LOL, I love it! Awesome, "poop fingers" you may want to trademark that.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Adamm0621 on August 02, 2008, 01:14:09 PM
If too much of the poop is dry, put it in a bucket, mix in some water, and stir.  We used this technique to give an asshole's car a shit wash.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Monsterlover on August 02, 2008, 02:27:45 PM


Oh man, awesome!
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: TiNi on August 02, 2008, 02:50:19 PM
 [puke]

you guys are [evil]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Monsterlover on August 02, 2008, 03:18:28 PM
Yeah,

We are.

;D
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: lauramonster on August 03, 2008, 10:41:30 AM
That's what keeps me reading these threads. 

Such ingenuity.

so much evil, so little time....
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cyrus buelton on August 03, 2008, 07:31:55 PM
Buy a 12gauge pump shotgun.


Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: lauramonster on August 03, 2008, 07:56:50 PM
what ...and spend time in jail cause of some snooty little nosed poop fngered kids. 

Don't use a gun.  don't threathen with the gun.

treat this as a fun little experiment for you and a learning experience for them. 

How much abuse do you think they'll take? 

Can we get a pool going?
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Nitewaif on August 06, 2008, 08:04:21 AM
Pure evil genius on this forum.   [clap]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Statler on August 06, 2008, 08:36:27 AM
No tresspassing signs all over, including in places where they'd have to trespass to remove them.  Take pictures of the signs.

spikes or barbed wire on the edge of the roof.

All hazzards should be visible so as not to be a trap.

letter to neighbor who owns the fence saying he is allowing kids to climb fence onto your roof and to please make adjustments as needed to prevent this. 
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: KnightofNi on August 06, 2008, 08:41:20 AM
Quote from: Statler on August 06, 2008, 08:36:27 AM
No tresspassing signs all over, including in places where they'd have to trespass to remove them.  Take pictures of the signs.

spikes or barbed wire on the edge of the roof.

All hazzards should be visible so as not to be a trap.

letter to neighbor who owns the fence saying he is allowing kids to climb fence onto your roof and to please make adjustments as needed to prevent this. 

there you go bringing law and order into our fun thread about emotionally and pysically scarring pain in the ass kids.  [roll]


[cheeky]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Statler on August 06, 2008, 09:04:43 AM
ambush the make the beast with two backsers with four friends waiting in a way so they are trapped on your roof.

Sit there 'till dawn drinking and telling them what you're going to do to them if they try to get down.

Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: TiNi on August 06, 2008, 10:12:34 AM
Quote from: Statler on August 06, 2008, 09:04:43 AM
ambush the make the beast with two backsers with four friends waiting in a way so they are trapped on your roof.

Sit there 'till dawn drinking and telling them what you're going to do to them if they try to get down.



that would work ok... if you looked like knight  [laugh] :-\
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: KnightofNi on August 06, 2008, 10:54:06 AM
Quote from: Statler on August 06, 2008, 09:04:43 AM
ambush the make the beast with two backsers with four friends waiting in a way so they are trapped on your roof.

Sit there 'till dawn drinking and telling them what you're going to do to them if they try to get down.



that's better!  ;D


Quote from: DuCaTiNi on August 06, 2008, 10:12:34 AM
that would work ok... if you looked like knight  [laugh] :-\

i'm not skeery like that.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on August 06, 2008, 11:15:06 AM
You could always set up HUGE flood lights and claxons have them all set to a motion sensor..... Just once ought to be enough. Either way they aren't going to enjoy "hangin" with all that commotion. Or...... leave the lights out, get a bunch of M-80's. Open your door and start yelling that you're gonna shoot their asses, and start lighting off the firecrackers. In the dark it oughta leave them with more than poopy fingers.  [laugh]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Statler on August 06, 2008, 11:18:51 AM
very loud classical music set off by motion detector on roof.

Or Classic Literature books on CDs.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: lauramonster on August 06, 2008, 12:19:17 PM
Hamlet by the moonlit sky....

Opera

Scottish Highlands Bagpipe band

Professor's lecture on ethics

whatever will offend them the most.  Classical music wouldn't offend all that much.  It's slow, and they could end up falling asleep.  Let's offend their senses (like rap does to us!).
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on August 06, 2008, 01:32:52 PM
Quote from: lauramonster on August 06, 2008, 12:19:17 PM
Hamlet by the moonlit sky....

Opera

Scottish Highlands Bagpipe band

Professor's lecture on ethics

whatever will offend them the most.  Classical music wouldn't offend all that much.  It's slow, and they could end up falling asleep.  Let's offend their senses (like rap does to us!).
What's offensive about Scottish bagpipes??  ???
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: rgramjet on August 06, 2008, 01:36:10 PM
Im thinking 1812 Overture......starting with the fortississimo!
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: DCXCV on August 06, 2008, 01:36:22 PM
Quote from: lauramonster on August 06, 2008, 12:19:17 PM
whatever will offend them the most.  Classical music wouldn't offend all that much.  It's slow, and they could end up falling asleep.  Let's offend their senses (like rap does to us!).
Quotehttp://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/12/05/earlyshow/living/main1095665.shtml

Quote from: WannaDucBad on August 06, 2008, 01:32:52 PM
What's offensive about Scottish bagpipes??  ???
Mostly the bearded men in skirts  ;D
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on August 06, 2008, 01:45:05 PM
Quote from: DCXCV on August 06, 2008, 01:36:22 PM
Mostly the bearded men in skirts  ;D

The Scot in me is just having a hard time with this one.... you better spell it out.....








[laugh]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: KnightofNi on August 06, 2008, 01:52:22 PM
Quote from: DCXCV on August 06, 2008, 01:36:22 PM
Mostly the bearded men in skirts  ;D


Quote from: WannaDucBad on August 06, 2008, 01:45:05 PM
The Scot in me is just having a hard time with this one.... you better spell it out.....

ditto...



and they are called kilts dammit!
;D
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: DCXCV on August 06, 2008, 04:10:24 PM
Quote from: WannaDucBad on August 06, 2008, 01:45:05 PM
The Scot in me is just having a hard time with this one.... you better spell it out.....

[laugh]
Quote from: KnightofNi on August 06, 2008, 01:52:22 PM
ditto...

and they are called kilts dammit!
;D

:-*
(http://www.scottishmelodies.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/Jeff_the_Bagpiper.jpg)


Don't get me wrong; it's a great outfit in general terms - just one I only want to see on a 20-something girl.


Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Buckethead on August 06, 2008, 05:00:08 PM
Head to Nova Scotia.

Tourist bureau in Antigonish was staffed by what looked like a couple of college cheerleaders in white button up dress shirts and kilts.

I almost didn't come back to the States.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Monsterlover on August 06, 2008, 05:16:43 PM
Quote from: Obsessed? on August 06, 2008, 05:00:08 PM
Head to Nova Scotia.

Tourist bureau in Antigonish was staffed by what looked like a couple of college cheerleaders in white button up dress shirts and kilts.

I almost didn't come back to the States.

Yeah, why did you?

Also, do you have an address for this place?

[evil]
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Ddan on August 06, 2008, 05:52:01 PM
And where are THOSE pics in your write-up???
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Scottish on August 06, 2008, 07:57:17 PM
Quote from: DCXCV on August 06, 2008, 04:10:24 PM
:-*
(http://www.scottishmelodies.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/Jeff_the_Bagpiper.jpg)


Don't get me wrong; it's a great outfit in general terms - just one I only want to see on a 20-something girl.



er...... I still don't see the problem.  ;)
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on August 06, 2008, 11:21:09 PM
Get one of those high-pitched whining devices. You're probably too old to hear it, but the kids aren't. They'll leave.



See? Only six pages and a proper suggestion was made. Hail the DMF.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: cutter on August 07, 2008, 02:21:29 PM
well the poop appears to have been far more effective than I had wanted it to be! I'm sure at somepoint they'll be back, but all's quiet on the garage roof front since P-day.

I'm scottish, and I have a kilt- maybe I should just stand above them on the roof with it on and yell at them and then pee on them, no hands like. 
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: TCK! on August 07, 2008, 02:46:52 PM
Where I used to live they played Classical music in areas that bums like to hang out and it drove all the bums away. All the tourist though the city was just trying to "set the mood" but it was actually a bum deterrent.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Matic on August 07, 2008, 04:37:42 PM
http://www.noloitering.ca/

This might be a derby, apologies if so!
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: KnightofNi on August 08, 2008, 04:37:31 AM
Quote from: cutter on August 07, 2008, 02:21:29 PM
well the poop appears to have been far more effective than I had wanted it to be! I'm sure at somepoint they'll be back, but all's quiet on the garage roof front since P-day.

I'm scottish, and I have a kilt- maybe I should just stand above them on the roof with it on and yell at them and then pee on them, no hands like. 

if you do that you have to speak with a bad, thick accent and tell them to go away.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: lauramonster on August 10, 2008, 05:29:46 PM
A man in a kilt is a fine t'ing. 

Why do you think all those women are in the stands at the celtic tournaments?  Do we care if the hay bale goes over the stick??  NO!!!! 

we're hoping to see what's up there!!
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: Buckethead on August 10, 2008, 05:44:24 PM
Quote from: lauramonster on August 10, 2008, 05:29:46 PM
Why do you think all those women are in the stands at the celtic tournaments?  Do we care if the hay bale goes over the stick??  NO!!!! 

we're hoping to see what's up there!!

Socks and boots.
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: aaronb on August 10, 2008, 06:23:28 PM
Quote from: Matic on August 07, 2008, 04:37:42 PM
http://www.noloitering.ca/

This might be a derby, apologies if so!

i can hear that shit and i am 28 and have minor hearing loss from race cars and rock concerts.  i definitely would not hang out on your roof if that was there
Title: Re: help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof
Post by: toaster on August 11, 2008, 08:37:41 AM
Quote from: aaronb on August 10, 2008, 06:23:28 PM
i can hear that shit and i am 28 and have minor hearing loss from race cars and rock concerts.  i definitely would not hang out on your roof if that was there

youre lucky.  im 23 and didnt hear a thing.  ive had some friends play with a phone that had several of those ringtones on it and i obviously cant hear very well anymore.  i would get the first one or two but after that they heard something but i didnt,  i think they were messing with me though...