The official new year's resolution thread

[Grampa]

Oh fine, I'll bite.

Mine is to quit taking things personal.

And to move to Oregon.

why would you move and not take personal things with you?

[jdubbs32584]

why would you move and not take personal things with you?

[DoubleEagle]

Career change for me:

I want to be DoubleEagle's butler.  

Kind of like Alfred is to Bruce Wayne?  I could be the same for Dolph.  

I can live in his garage and take care of all his bikes .  Cleaning the bikes, maintaining them, um, you know, test riding them after I clean the chain and and fill the tires and stuff, to make sure they're OK . . .

I'm hoping he gets that Streetfighter after he goes to the unveiling.  Be good for crime-fighting, I think.

I hate to burst your bubble ...but those postions are currently filled and although things do change from time to time these guys are doing a satisfactoy job for the time being.

I'm sure they will get a kick out of knowing your New Year's Resolution is to take at least one of their jobs away.    Dolph   

[DoubleEagle]

No real resolutions, but I have a few hopeful plans.

I've managed to go from 250 down to 205-210 since July w/o any real work other than portion control and kicking sodas. My goal is to get 185-ish. I've plateau'ed, so the rest is actually gonna require working out. Shit. 

I kicked caffeine no problem, so I'm gonna try to kick smoking too. I've been too sick since Fri AM to smoke anyway, so I figure I'm as ready to quit as I'm ever gonna be.


And I'm a bit hesitant to mention this since I haven't made up my mind 100% yet (so you can't hold me to it), but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna join the Nat'l Guard in the late spring/early summer. Unless a miracle happens, I'm closing up my business in early '09. And being in the Army is something I've always wanted to do, so it seems like a good time to do it.

Timmy, you should be proud of yourself. If you do all the things you have listed you are some kind of mental giant. Good luck. You've set the bar high.   Dolph

[Mother]

2009, sober and slow.

I owe it all to the DMF.

you should really think about putting that on the next T-shirt order

[Popeye the Sailor]

In the new year I resolve:

I promise to quit my addiction to nicotine gum without returning to smoking.

If I fail at the above, I promise never again to use an empty box of nicotine gum as an ashtray.

I promise to buy some new pants that fit or lose some weight, since doing neither isn't working out so well for me.

I promise not to visualize the many butts that have sat on a seat before I sit down and especially not to imagine that by sitting down I am pressing against some giant amalgamation of spirit bottoms.

I promise not to pee on toilet paper rolls in public bathrooms.

I promise not to pee after I eat spicy things with my hands.

If I mess up and wind up forgetting the above…I promise not to try and explain to the person peeing next to me why I am saying “ouch” while peeing.

I promise again not to drink for 30 consecutive days, and just to be clear, the term “days” refers to any 24 hour period regardless of whether it is a weekend, someone elses birthday, or a holiday that I spontaneously make up...like "Brand New Socks Day".

I promise not to repeat last year by waiting until December to exercise the above.

I promise not to tell people about how mean they were to me in my dreams, and not to hold real life grudges because someone, for example: threw hammers at me while I was trying to climb into a candy car.

I promise not to use my pee as the main vehicle to clean my toilet bowl.

I promise not to think of waiting for email as a legitimate work activity.

Not to clean the bathtub with the toilet brush.

Not to read the warning on the advil bottle about consuming four drinks or more per day as some sort of challenge.

To not make mooing noises when stuck in a crowded subway.

To recognize that long lists of pointless information is not always a viable form of entertainment for others.

[Big Troubled Bear]

Only a little resolution:

I promise to try and spend more time devoted to my business and less time to the DMF, in doing so I hope to make some real money and spend that on my family and not on motorcycle related stuff.

Failing that I will make sure that all the 5 year old brandy in my local liquir store does not get a day older

[Timmy Tucker]

  Timmy, you should be proud of yourself. If you do all the things you have listed you are some kind of mental giant. Good luck. You've set the bar high.   Dolph

While I appreciate the praise, I'm certainly not worthy of any of it. And w/o a doubt, I'm no kind of mental giant.  I have the least self control and determination of anyone I know when it comes to "resolutions". I'll revisit this in 6 months and see how things are going.

[tonyj311]

While I appreciate the praise, I'm certainly not worthy of any of it. And w/o a doubt, I'm no kind of mental giant.  I have the least self control and determination of anyone I know when it comes to "resolutions". I'll revisit this in 6 months and see how things are going.

Tell me more about your portion control plan. Where did you get the amounts? I dont think that giving up the food I like is going to work, so maybe just cutting back would be a better plan.

I joined the Y a month ago but still havent lost any weight. I called to complain and they said I actually have to work out. The membership alone wont do it.

[the_Journeyman]

IMO it's always better to reduce the bad stuff that you love rather than eliminate them.  It turns into a craving which turns into a binge and kills off a couple days work of workouts.  I will not give up rum and beer.  I've slowed my intake and spend a little extra time working out so I can keep those things around ~

JM

[Timmy Tucker]

Tell me more about your portion control plan. Where did you get the amounts? I dont think that giving up the food I like is going to work, so maybe just cutting back would be a better plan.

I joined the Y a month ago but still havent lost any weight. I called to complain and they said I actually have to work out. The membership alone wont do it.

I call it "portion control", but in reality it's nothing scientific at all. Just common sense. I just cut way back on the amount of food I eat.

I try to avoid fried stuff. As in, I've had french fries maybe 4-5 times since July, instead of every day.

When I order pizza, I eat 2-3 slices in a sitting, instead of eating the whole damn pizza.

If I'm eating a home cooked meal (very rare) I don't get 2nd's.

I had to quit my nightly grazing ritual of 2 huge tupperware bowls of cereal before going bed. That was the hardest for me.

I quit drinking sodas (Now I cant stand 'em). I drink sorta sweet tea w/ my meals and generally some kind of vitamin water bullshit the rest of the time. The only "normal" water I drink is Dasani, and that's usually when it's hot ouside.

On the rare occasion I do order a burger from a drive thru, it usually just a simple cheeseburger. No more of the "Xtremequadruplemercenarybaconcheeseburgerofdoom" type shit that I used to get.
That said, I do splurge and get a Wendy's Jr Bacon Chzbrgr about once every week or 2. God, I love those things.

Instead of keeping chips and peanuts around the house to graze on while DMF'ing, I keep apples and pretzels handy. They satisfy the need to crunch on something and the pretzels have the salty thing going on as well. Plus I can only tolerate a few pretzels before I'm done, whereas I can scarf a whole bag of chips in a sitting.

Like I said, it's all simple common sense. The first week was hard, but after that it's been pretty easy. I had a few ugly days around Thanksgiving that required me to refocus and get back in line. But other than that, it really couldn't be any easier.

[Slag]

I will not cook burgers for 30 people while drunk.

The results...

[optiato]

I plan to pick up the caloric slack for Statler.

I also want to run in a 5k before I move in June.

I used to run 5k races when I was in High School, I was never that good (well, good in comparison with most other people in Cross Country).  I ran in the 19's generally.

Then I got run over by a car then rear ended by a tow truck.  I don't think I could make it .5k now.


Oh and a resolution... I promise not to use my floor as a laundry hamper.  Really.

[DCXCV]

I'll soon be experiencing my 29th consecutive resolution-free new year.  But that doesn't mean I can't direct that unspent thought at helping others:

I promise not to pee after I eat spicy things with my hands.

I promise not to use my pee as the main vehicle to clean my toilet bowl.

Not to clean the bathtub with the toilet brush.

If you eat really spicy foods it may strengthen the cleaning power of your pee and then you won't have to ever use the toilet brush for its intended purpose again and cleaning the tub with it will no longer be an issue.

[Popeye the Sailor]

I'll soon be experiencing my 29th consecutive resolution-free new year.  But that doesn't mean I can't direct that unspent thought at helping others:

If you eat really spicy foods it may strengthen the cleaning power of your pee and then you won't have to ever use the toilet brush for its intended purpose again and cleaning the tub with it will no longer be an issue.

I think my wife might hate you now.