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Lies, and the lying liars that lie about them

Started by Bun-bun, May 22, 2008, 04:45:22 PM

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tommys67

#45
May 23, 2008, 11:18:56 AM
Some things I've tried to get away with.  Some worked, some didn't...

"I was at the doctor" - an excuse for being 2 hours late to work [beer]

"I have nothing to hide"   - said right before someone searches and finds said "nothing." [bang]

"I have never cheated on you"  - you'd be surprised what others view as cheating [evil]

I live my life as a warning to others.
Founder - www.suspectsunlimited.com

Grampa

#46
May 23, 2008, 11:22:11 AM

twofer


SacDuc say's it wont hurt one bit.......

would SacDuc lie?




[laugh]
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

Jaman

#47
May 23, 2008, 11:22:46 AM
"Yes, I had a beer a little over an hour ago, officer"  [drink]

NeufUnSix

#48
May 23, 2008, 11:28:48 AM
"She just knows how to pose" fat ugly chick commenting on  a girl with a fantastic ass

"It wont be more than 5 hours labour"
"Why did my tractor just blow up?"

eyeboy

#49
May 23, 2008, 11:38:30 AM
- oh, we never received your invoice, can you please send it again?

- the check went to be signed this morning, it should be in the mail tomorrow

- i was gonna do it!

- they all do that, it's the way the are designed.

- sometimes the instructions are wrong.

- this card entitles the bearer to a free sample bottle of 'insert product name here'

Quote from: ducatizzzz on October 23, 2008, 05:13:21 PMObfuscate! Obfuscate!

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the War Room.

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man.  The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self. And in bacon. 

ducatiz

#50
May 23, 2008, 11:51:56 AM
Quote from: Ducatista on May 23, 2008, 11:05:32 AM
"I'm just big boned."  (The massive rolls of lard hanging over the tops of your jeans aren't bones.)

That's the muffin-top, babeeee!
Check out my oil filter forensics thread!                     Offended? Click here
"Yelling out of cars, turning your speakers out the window to blast your music onto the street, setting off M-80 firecrackers, firing automatic weapons into the airâ€"these are all well and good. But none of them create a merry atmosphere of insouciance and bonhomie quite like a revving motorcycle.

ducatiz

#51
May 23, 2008, 11:53:08 AM
Quote from: NeufUnSix on May 23, 2008, 11:28:48 AM
"She just knows how to pose" fat ugly chick commenting on  a girl with a fantastic ass

"It wont be more than 5 hours labour"

that's funny,i heard that at work once

of course, my frontal lobe forgot to tell me NOT to reply "no, i think it's she just knows how to avoid shoveling food in her mouth and how to exercise often"

yep.  never spoke to me again.
Check out my oil filter forensics thread!                     Offended? Click here
"Yelling out of cars, turning your speakers out the window to blast your music onto the street, setting off M-80 firecrackers, firing automatic weapons into the airâ€"these are all well and good. But none of them create a merry atmosphere of insouciance and bonhomie quite like a revving motorcycle.

FatguyRacer

#52
May 23, 2008, 12:07:47 PM
Sorry i missed your call hon, my cell phone was turned off/battery died/was missing.

No, I didnt eat the last of the ice cream.

Yes, I let the dogs out.

You need how much dear? Cause i gotta tell ya, I'm broke right now.

I promise I will have only one beer tonight.

(wait a minute. These make me look like the dirty liar!)



John Krawczyk
2002 Ducati ST4s (FIM chip, Arrow Carbys, Sargent seat, DP comfort fairing, Ducati Designs headlight, Toby steering dampener)
My Blog - The Chronicles of Fatguy Racer

SacDuc

#53
May 23, 2008, 12:20:10 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on May 23, 2008, 11:22:11 AM
twofer


SacDuc say's it wont hurt one bit.......

would SacDuc lie?




[laugh]



You forgot:

This is how all the supermodels in Europe do it so they don't get pregnant.

Once you get used to it it feels better than the regular way.

All of my other girlfriends have.
HATERS GONNA HATE.

Grampa

#54
May 23, 2008, 12:23:45 PM
 [laugh]
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

SacDuc

#55
May 23, 2008, 12:30:00 PM

Also:

"This doesn't make us gay."
HATERS GONNA HATE.

ducatiz

#56
May 23, 2008, 03:03:23 PM
Quote from: SacDuc on May 23, 2008, 12:30:00 PM
Also:

"This doesn't make us gay."

"Yes it does, sweetie."
Check out my oil filter forensics thread!                     Offended? Click here
"Yelling out of cars, turning your speakers out the window to blast your music onto the street, setting off M-80 firecrackers, firing automatic weapons into the airâ€"these are all well and good. But none of them create a merry atmosphere of insouciance and bonhomie quite like a revving motorcycle.

Sgt_H

#57
May 23, 2008, 03:48:54 PM
No, I swear.  I love America.  I would never plant IEDs/shoot mortars/support terrorist groups

er, sorry, flashback

Sgt_H
Banned

Pakhan

#58
May 23, 2008, 03:53:25 PM
"I'm not sure how fast I was going"  I used this after being pulled over going 115mph  :-[

"I didn't know I couldn't do that"

"It's not a hickey, it's a rash"

"did you just fart?"


"I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines."   m620 749s r6


www.suspectsunlimited.com

Monsterlover

#59
May 23, 2008, 05:01:38 PM
"We'll keep the board just the way it is now.  Nothing will change."
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**
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