Ducati Monster Forum

i stab a #8 drill bit through my thumb nail right at the quick :-X

hurts like a mothermake the beast with two backser....still



whats your favorite?

3lb hammer to the back of my hand.

I get hit by a semi and my left tibia comes up through the skin. Hurts like a mothermake the beast with two backser...

 [laugh] [laugh]  E.O.T.  (end of thread)  [laugh] [laugh]

;D

tell me about it, i got a paper cut at work on Thursday, make the beast with two backser bled for like 15 minutes!


 [cheeky]

OK, NOW the thread is done!

back when I was 16, I was straightening out the staight-leg Levi's with my moms sewing machine ( oi ), I ran my left thumb through the machine, and the needle went through my thumb, I jerked my hand away, causing the machine to go with it [laugh], I had to manually back the needle out.

     Trailer winch handle thru the right radius & ulna, open compound fracture. Steel plate and a Hoffman fixator for 3 months. After it "healed" I was on my HD headed to school, mail truck jumped in my lane,grabbed the front brake, and the arm  went "POP". Had to pull into a gas station and have the lady behind the glass call for an ambulance.
     Pneumatic framing nailer. Put a 3" collared nail thru my hand long ways.
     Yamaha XS400 on the highway. Got distracted, traffic stopped, I didn't. Flipped over the bars(breaking both legs), landed in a sitting position on the top of the car I hit, legs on the windshield.



Next

I have this really nasty ingrown hair right now that hurts like hell  ;D

I tried to dig it out but now I have a huge hole with a ingrown hair in it  [bang]

TMI moment of the day, i just had one of those... in my belly button.  i thought it was an odd pimple for a few weeks and then decided it was more.  i went to Dr. X-acto and he removed a knotted little hair. 

very satisfying, very gross


 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Here's two.
1.  When I snapped my big toe nail in half playing volleyball yesterday and my toe ended up a big bloody sand covered mess. 
2.  A few years ago when I broke my jaw in three places and got a concussion playing a pick up game of soccer after work.  Having my jaw wired shut for 6 weeks during the summer right after my fiance dumped me was not a good time.

I got my hand caught in a line on a boat, which then tightened and slid down two of my fingers, taking the flesh with it.


You could see the bones. Hand hasn't worked right since.

Riding on bumper cars, I slammed head on into another car while yelling at someone.

No big deal, right?

I bit my tongue right down the middle and it required 7 stitches on my tongue to put it back together.

Worse, the stitches fell fell out after a few days, so they had to do them again  [puke]

Mind you, now I totally own any "well then check out this scar" contests. Especially when I add that that's the 3rd worst place I've had stitches  [cheeky]

waaaaaaaaaaay back when i framed houses, caught the side of my thumb between a nail and a brand new 3 lb waffle head framing hammer.
took off about an 1/8 inch deep from knuckle to tip  :P

1.) Fell into a Crab net/cage as a child. Stitches above my lip. I cant grow a good mustache because of it  >:(

2.) When I was a teenager I use to play a lot of street football.

I was playing on this Hill one day in SF. I was running at full speed making a over head catch.
I caught the ball but I fell down to my Knees and slid about 10 yards on my Knee's wearing shorts.

I basically rubbed my flesh off to the bone. I have 2 scars on my Knee's today that are visible

Uh-huh. That's how your knees got scarred in SF.

I hate it when whomever is hosting my South Park avatar realizes I'm leeching off them and replaces it with an image of two dudes screwing.

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Oh wait, that didn't happen to me  [evil]

Think of the worst place to have sutures on a guy. Yeah, I've had them there. Who wants to see the scar?

Pass  :-X

 Let me quess old husqvarna mx with the gap between the tank and seat and the long tank bolt.
 Got a little out of shape in the whoop de doo's and became one with the bike :-X

You guys should really be more careful.  I really hate it when someone backs into my bike in a parallel parking space... AGAIN!  This time the 998 :(

"Pain fades, chicks dig scars, glory. . . lasts forever"
The Replacements-Keanu Reeves

Never owned a Husky.

Circumcision at 27 years old...

Now thats just cruel and unusual punishment  :-\

I was to young to remember mine and I want to keep it that way.

Ouch!!

The first mod you did on an early 70's husky was to saw off the tank bolt just above the nut, then tape a piece of 2" thick foam over it.

Back on topic.
Riding a ski-doo snomoble early season.
Dropped outside ski into ditch going around corner.
No problem ( famous last words  [laugh] ) I'll stay in the throttle and get back on the road on the next straight away.
Forgot about driveway with culvert.
Ski went in culvert and then was removed. I went thru windshield, smacking handle bars in the process.
Had to ride 5 miles home on 1 ski carrying the other ski with no windshield to deflect the cold wind.
End up with matching rainbow colored bruises on both legs from the handle bars.

wow  :o this whole thread is nuts!

worst I've had was tearing my hamstring going post to post in a hockey game.... [roll]

when I'm horny and there's no girl around to poke

My second wheelie attempt I speared by nuts on the tank when I freaked out and cut the throttle when the wheelie got to high.

Luckily it was at work late at night so no one saw it  ;D

Couple of years ago I was making a pie with one of these immersion blenders

(http://www.johnlewis.com/jl_assets/product/230172790.jpg)

and accidentally blended my finger. [roll]

How does that even happen??

...back in the day...before mig welders were common in body shops...

we brazed new panels on.

I was laying under a firebird brazing a quarter panel on...

reached for a new stick...right across the torch flame...













































































































owwww.
   ;D

What? No pics?

So embarrassingly stupid...after all those years of working safely in chemistry labs too. :-[

The blade was getting jammed up with the pie crust I was making. 

I don't use the immersion blender much, but I do use a little electric coffee grinder, and had gotten in the habit of clearing it out with my finger as the grinder doesn't work with the lid off.

Well there is no such safety on the blender.  Had my left forefinger on the blade cleaning it, forgot to unplug the blender, kept my right hand on the button and accidently bumped it on for a split second.  Luckily I had it on the lowest setting, and luckily it was the fingernail side facing the blade.  Took a few months to grow the nail back. :P

Now I unplug it and use a utensil to clean it out. [thumbsup]

Good idea...

before cameras too.   ;D

Hahahaha

what  i really hate is when i realize "right after the fact" that i should have just lost a finger to the router/table saw,etc... (pick your evil cutting implement)

i hate this because it means i am getting tired/in a hurry/ not paying attention.

and because i just used up one more little ounce of luck............. :-\

ummm... wow.  :o


y'know what else is fun? by the time the drill/end mill/whatever exploded on ya, you have juuuust enough time to realise that you, in fact, did not get hit by shrapnel  ;D

A dude I talked to crashed on the track a few years back and got a steering damper through his left nut.

Owch.

I was painting something silver wasn't paying attention and grabbed the paint can off the ground and didn't check what direciton the tip was pointing pressed down and painted my left eye silver.  Not my eye lid either my eye ball [bang] then i spent the next 45 minutes flushing out my eye.

not really painful but it was one of my better dipshit moves i have done.

Several years ago I was *ahem* relieving some tension before going to bed.  I had been going at it quite a while, and when I finally released...BAM I got a big 'ol wad in my right eye  [laugh]

TMI of the whole forum thus far!

I hate it when I am just about to pick my bike up after it's been getting repaired for 3 months and 2 weeks before I pick it up, I break my fricken toe!

I hate it when I forget to rinse off the soap underneath my balls before get out of the shower.   [bang]


sac

the check dont clear.

The wife "helps you out" and cleans your work space.

Three months, and I'm STILL trying to find things!

Like a new wife?  [cheeky]

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

I know it's a little late to quote but I couldn't help it.  Had mine at 24. I know all about that kind of pain.  :o

A couple years ago i had an ingrown hair in my nose. Hurt like a total MF. I let it be an it seemed to go
away but was still sore. A couple weeks later I seem to get a pimple on the outside of my nose and I
go pick at it and a little hair sticks up. I think this is odd, not putting two and two together yet.
I get the tweezers and get ahold of the little bastard and pull and OMG this hurts.
I give it a yank and the damn thing is 3/4 of an inch long. My eyes are watering and my nose feels like
I have this huge hole in it. I told my dad about it and he just laughed his ass off.

You're lucky it didn't grow up through your brain!

I hate it when I slam my finger in a door.  In basic training I did that so hard I broke my right index finger.

Also in basic training, we were practicing the individual events on an obstacle course.  The next event was a sprint to a launching point, grab a rope, and swing over a 4' wall.  Obviously, there's padding on the wall, and obviously the person in front of me juuuust barely made it and tore off said padding.  I was last one through this event.  You guessed it.  Even though I'd done this sucker successfully dozens of times, I missed the one time the padding wasn't there.  Cracked my patella.  I have to say it didn't tickle.  Nerves are still screwed up in that area.  If I scratch the top of my knee cap, I feel it on the numb spot on the side of my knee.

In basic training yet again, I had my wisdom teeth removed on the last night before Hell Night.  My 24 hours of light duty ended just as things were getting going.  Because of the change in pressure in that area and the strain of my neck muscles, I ended up riping out 2 sets of stitches.  Yeah, when they saw blood pouring from the corners of my mouth, and a puddle of blood right where my mouth was from doing push ups, they told me to clean up and do iron chairs for the rest of the night whenever my platoon mates were doing pushups.  YUCK!!!

I hate the feeling of header on bare calf.  "Is something burning?"  I locked the steering as I was trying to squeeze between a couple of bikes.  Bike tips.  My pant leg hiked just high enough to let my nice and tended inside calf rest on the header.  I was so irritated, I didn't realize what was happening.  It was on there for a good 15 seconds or so.  It was a full thickness burn in the middle.  Ewwww...

Gave myself a blood blister on my pinkie today moving heavy equipment at the customer site. :P

While working on a fishing boat.....barefoot.....filleting fish.....

the other mate dropped a fillet knife which landed and stuck...vertically in my foot.


Ow.

I was gonna say something about menstrual cramps and such but I figured the majority of the board would  [puke]

 [cheeky]   [laugh]

T

Yeah, get enough of that whingeing at home.


 [cheeky]

yeh, if i hit my thumb with a hammer once a month, i would eventually get used to it....... [roll]









j/k [cheeky]

I hate it when I wake up with one of these make the beast with two backsing things on my face.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/39/Deathstalker_ST_07.JPG)

+1 on the forget to rinse post shower... shampoo or otherwise
+1 on the oxy/acet torch across the forearm reaching for something

...i have to get a rusty piece of metal drilled out of my eye with a battery powered dremel.

...my face requires plastic surgery because my friends great dane took a chunk out of it.

...i broke one of the little bones between my big toe and 2nd toe by doing a headspin.

I hate it when people post 1,000,001 rant threads when we have a perfectly good (and funny) "I hate it when..." threat going unused.
 

When I get an e-mail, and it says.....

sent from my iPhone

As if I give a make the beast with two backs where it came from.


Oh yeah, and when people use the word "twisties".

It's some default setting on the phone. I'd turn it off if I knew how.


I hate it when people use 'loose' instead of 'lose'. What? You didn't win, so now you're not tight? If that's the case, I do not want to hear about it.

Broken tail bone... It hurt like hell, or so i thought until later that day.



 Try taking a dump with a broken tail bone!



17 years old working in a full service gas station.  -40 outside and pumping gas.  Didn't realize that when the tank was full it sprayed back on me. 

Walked inside the station to warm up by the propane sunflower heater we had by the front desk.  What i didn't know was the gas that sprayed back on me had soaked thru the gloves and into my hand since my hand was so flippin cold from the weather.  Not to mention, when you are around gasoline all day, you get used to the smell.  Put my hand in front of previously mentioned heater and my left arm of my carhartt jacket was engulfed in flames. 

Fingers were 3 times normal size from blisters and had a blister on the palm of my hand the size of a racquetball.  Just enough skin left on my left thumb to avoid a skin graft, but thin enough I could watch the blood pumping thru the vein just below the skin.

Probably the most disgusting thing of the whole ordeal... waking up with a soaked t-shirt and bandages when the blister on my palm let go.  [puke]

When you're using a screwdriver to crack a seized/tight screw loose on some some small device that you're holding in your other hand - knowing full well you shouldn't - and then having said screwdriver skewer your palm when it finally slips, causing you to throw everything onto the bench as you proceed to do the Oweee Dance.

Did that at work today except instead of doing the Oweee Dance, I let out a few four letter words... and then realized I was working at a religious college. 

I hate the screw driver through the finger/palm/leg thing too. almost always gets infected...

OTOH, they say it is a good release of pain/frustration to swear when you hurt yourself. helps to calm you down.

MOTHER FU@KER THAT HURT! (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-swear)

When you close the car door on your hand and the door locks. [bang] Then when your parents try to band-aid you up and you're crying from the pain so bad that they don't understand that you're bleeding from the front and back of your finger. So when they realize this they of course have to pull off the band-aids.

Ooh ooh!! I know that one too well.


I also hate it when I have to explain to my wife why I need a new tire every 3000 miles.

people are too lazy to use their blinkers.  That might not hurt, but is sure pisses me off.

I hate it when thieves come at night and steal my monster [bang]

...I can't decide which color gatorade to get so I have to get the rainbow

...as a child no one could ever quite make it to the end of the slip-and-slide. I got the bright idea of climbing onto the neighbor's fence and using the rope swing to get some real speed up. let go just past the bottom of the swing and landed mostly on the slip-and-slide. remember back when they had metal pins to hold down the corners? well one thigh landed right on top of one of those. The pin stayed where it was and gashed my leg. I not only made it all the way to the end of the slip-and-slide, I shot right off of it into the mud and rocks we had moved out from under where we set it up.

This thread reminds me of the scene from Jaws where they're comparing scars.

I broke my ankle in several places when I was 15. It was obviously broken, swelling and turning purple very quickly. My mom made me wait on the front stoop for 45 minutes before taking me to the doctor because she was busy w/ the laundry. The doctor was an hour away.

I once went to the hospital in an ambulance. I had a seizure/passed out at home and my wife called 911. They held me for observation for a few hours and sent me home. It was 4am and I didn't want to wake my wife because she'd have to bundle up our 18 month old son, so I walked home. It was 20 degrees f and I didn't have my shoes w/ me. That was a brisk walk.

Or even better in the scene in Strange Wilderness...

The laundry thing though, she was waiting for her pants to dry because she didnt want to go to the ER in sweat pants incase she saw a cute doctor and started sporting wood...

get in a rush to get out of the restroom and zip up onto my shaft (yeah that one ) done it twice once when i was 9 and about 3 weeks ago.
Second time almost felt good <- that should have gone into the confessions thread i know.

... there is a vagrant lingering around in the parking lot when you go in for lunch. I get really paranoid that they'll make the beast with two backs with my bike while I'm eating because I didn't give them money and I'm not going to give them money just so I don't have to worry about it.

Happened to me again today when I went to Taco Hell. This kid about high school age comes up to me mumbling about wanting a dollar while I'm walking in with my helmet on. She was coming out so I thought she'd leave afterward (the regular vagrant always asks for change and then moseys along when he doesn't get any). Well, she didn't. She camped around the corner outside so I went back to get my tank bag off my bike. It doesn't have much in it but I still wouldn't be happy if something happened to it. Then she comes inside to eat food that her friend bought and the leave at about the time I finish my first taco. 2 more to go and I'm worrying. She comes back in about 5 minutes later and gets a small drink and gives me a look when she's leaving. I get outside and they're lingering around my bike and the girl is fiddling with a broken pair of sunglasses and when she sees me come up she throws it on the floor next to my bike.  >:( Gah! I was so paranoid the whole way home that the bike was going to blow up on me. I don't see anything wrong with it though.

^^^ So what your saying is, your afraid of high school girls?

I guess...  [laugh] Only if they look like bums and linger around my bike though. And it's more of a fear of what they did to my bike as opposed to them in person.  :P

Ew! Cooties!  [cheeky]

I'll set this one up for you.
I was in the 1% of the male population that needed surgical encouragement to get a couple of things to drop when I was younger. Post-op: In the hospital for 3 days of recovery with a string of nylon from each "boy", through the sack, attached to bandages on each thigh. Over a period of 2 weeks I was to gradually stand up straighter each day to allow those threads to pull the testes down further. Well, during my second night in the hospital I had one of those "falling down the stairs" dreams. Apparently when I have those, I kick my legs straight out. The next morning the doctor laughed saying he'd never seen a full descension happen so quickly. Asshole. >:(

So....you're a post-op boy?

OMG.. i'm sorry i'm laughing.. best laugh i've had since i wrecked my bike...

Glad I could help! :D

No. I was a boy pre-op, and a man post-op. My voice dropped two octaves the morning after the dream, and I grew hair on the way home! ;) 

BBWAAA!!!  That was hilarious. Good shet right there.  [clap]

Speaking of teenage girls who mooch money, I always ask them if they want to earn it.  It usually just pisses them off.   And I don't leave my bike where I can't see it.

I hated it when I cut the tip of my right index finger (my best nose picker), off in a Bridgeport Milling Machine back in the 80's.   I went to drug rehab right after that (I had been up for about 4 days when that happened). 

I also hate it when people call car drivers cagers.    That is so.....so......so.......Easyriders.    Bro. 

I have a Jeep with a full 6 point roll cage. When I drive it I use the term cage quite regularly. Never saw Easyrider.  ;)

Finally someone said it. Thanks, that pisses me off as much as "twisties".  [roll]

I'm gonna go hit the twisties after work in my cage.  ;D

(http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll161/porschaholic/914.jpg)

I hate it when spell check underlines "twisties"  [cheeky]

So what may I ask are we supposed to call them? Curvies? Hillies? Not staighties? ???

Sweepers








I hate the mothermake the beast with two backser who came up with the concept of

non servicable part

make the beast with two backs him

and

make the beast with two backs the man who seeded the demon that spawned him

rat bastard

In the Navy, sweepers are the lower ranking people who come out to clean the ship daily.

"Sweepers, Sweepers, man your brooms"

I think we call the last man in the group ride the sweeper since he/she picks up any stragglers to keep them from getting left behind.

Twisties:

(http://i367.photobucket.com/albums/oo118/Speedbag/twisties.jpg)


Lemme guess.....you're replacing lower control arms because the ball joints aren't available separately.....

Switchbacks.  [thumbsup]

Those are Spliffs.   :D

But switchbacks are those boring things you have to go through when you wait in line.

Nah, those are Crowd Control Stanchions.  ;D

http://www.crowdcontrolexperts.com/ (http://www.crowdcontrolexperts.com/)

What if they don't switchback all the way?  A switchback is usually around 180 degrees.  Our twisties ;D usually don't.  I am so confused. [bang]

Oooh, you almost got me! The stanchions are used to create boring switchbacks!  [cheeky]

(http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa91/chiflado/0511-0703-0519-1153_Confused_Busine.jpg)

fixed

Not referring to the movie, that was a classic.   I was referring to the magazine for not quite bikers.   Wannabe bikers. 

uhhh. wtf you guys been doing?

You have to show that at ZG next time.

My bad then, you mean the poser magazine? (http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll161/porschaholic/smileys/confused-smiley-015.gif)