The best of craigslist....If you have not seen it, look at it now. There is some funny shit there ;D
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/)
Quote from: Mac_48 on June 04, 2008, 08:22:16 PM
The best of craigslist....If you have not seen it, look at it now. There is some funny shit there ;D
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/)
I hate looking at it because before I know it I've gone through a months worth of postings and have lost an hour of my life. ;D
yea, but it is an hour of laughing ;D
I'm so happy that this list exists. Now I have something to read and laugh at after I go through the prior weeks Happiness and Cyanide comics. Thank you Craigslist! (No, thank you SJR!)
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/mcy/731948046.html
Is this bike a collectors item or is this guy just smoking crack?
QuoteThis posting has been flagged for removal
:-\
What was it?
Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend
Date: 2008-05-07, 2:49PM PDT
I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.
British accent preferred.
Quote from: green bastard on June 25, 2008, 07:05:09 AM
:-\
What was it?
Sorry, I should know better than to post without quoting it.
it was a '92 kawasaki 1100 cruiser with like 20 something thousand miles on it for $5000. Plus it was in the funniest broken english I've read in a while.
I knew I shouldn't click the link. But I did. Thank you Mac_48. That just cost me about 3 hours of my life.
Bwahahahahah!
To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m
Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT
I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".
Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.
Quote from: Rev. Millertime on June 25, 2008, 05:06:52 PM
Bwahahahahah!
To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday - w4m
Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT
I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".
Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.
I wonder if I can do that in my office.
Quote from: Smiling End on June 26, 2008, 05:23:38 AM
I wonder if I can do that in my office.
Only one way to find out. [thumbsup]
HAHAHA
I heart Craigslist.
Quote from: Smiling End on June 26, 2008, 05:23:38 AM
I wonder if I can do that in my office.
Just say "I read about it online" and all will be forgiven.
ha ha ha ha ... I almost poo'd myself reading that. [laugh]
Unicycle Lawnmower (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/rac/758895089.html)
Looking for a more out of the box way to excersize. Be the coolest guy on your street cutting the lawn with this bad boy. you can save gas and get those rock hard abs you always wanted. This bike will cut your grass to emaculate conditions. It comes stock with this excentric two tone seat. The rust on the mower gives it an antique look that will have the cat lady next door going wild for your loins. For Ten extra dollars i can throw in a basket and headlight. Is your kid bouncing off the walls, ile even throw in some training wheels so you can put that bastard to work. This model is a three speed so you can really tear it up. Do your neighbor kids have an annoying bike ramp in the streets all the time. well snag that sucker and set it up infront of your trees, this bad mother will easily catch 6-7 feet of air allowing you to trim those troubling branches, as well as demolishing the ramp into oblivion so those damn kids wont be gathering infront of your house to practice for the x games. Comes with your choice of 12/40 oz beer holder that doubles as an ash tray.
(http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/rac/758895089.jpg)
I wonder if he takes it off any sweet jumps. . .
This one was good enough to make it into the New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/28/nyregion/28nanny.html
Live in Nanny Needed for 4 kids (Pls don't call
them "Precious Ones") (Upper East Side)
Reply to: comm-804253499@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-19, 9:04PM EDT
My kids are a pain in the ass. Just in the past hour, i have had to tell each one to do something more
than once. oldest: can i have soda? it's just a sprite? please? can i? no, no and no.
the next one...don't even get me started. seriously.
the twin six year olds: one wanted dessert before her dinner was over, one kept wanting to know why
I wouldn't let nine year olds swing her around by her limbs. (the fear of a dislocated shoulder did
nothing.)
Please help me.
I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, pushy and while I used to think we paid well, i am no
longer sure. i work from home, so you get the pleasure of being hounded by me all day long. and, you
get to pretend to like me, because i am deeply sensative. (but well dressed and a know it all, a winning
combination I assure you.)
If you cannot multi task, or communicate without being passive aggressive, don't even bother
replying.
If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, skip to the next post, because crumbs are a
deal breaker. they put me over the edge.
i have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, and if you are judgemental about ritalin for
adhd, or think such things are caused by too much sugar, again, deal break city.
You do get a separate entrance excellent studio on the ues. you do get air conditioner and internet
connection and cable. even hbo. and showtime. you can bring your spouse, roommate or partner, but
sorry no kids. If you ask, can i bring my kid, the answer will be...anyone? anyone? No.
If you can cook, all the better. otherwise, i'll teach you all sorts of things about pasta. (Here's a freebie,
butter and parmesean, mmmmmm)
If you know anything about chess and violin i will be impressed.
We are not snobs, which is good. but then again, my kid sometimes swears to make a point. (We're
working on it, but halfheartedly, because, well the apple doesn't fall far from the make the beast with two backsing
tree.)Although I am told they are all very bright, they have not mastered the use of the oh so
complicated napkin. This is a napkin Junior, say it after me...Nap Kin. Good boy.
i am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if
they are their own. you won't. really. they are infinitely lovable, but trust me, they're mine and you
will move on when your journey with us is over, and save for some funny stories and a delightful
email every now and again, you won't grieve. Nor will we. (okay, we did all grieve a few of our past
sitters, oddly they were all named Sarah or Kate, or Nikki. And Leah. Leah was delightful, even if she
did drop my twin babies off our couch during a family gathering. Good times.
I don't want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, I'm
just a woman doing my best. I'm willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how i
should parent my spawn. teach me to knit. introduce me to yoga, the white stripes, russian literature or
the best place to get a burger in the village at 2Am, but do not tell me to put star stickers on a good
boy chart. stickers irritate me.
If you are fundamentally unhappy with your life, you will be more unhappy if you take this job, so do
us all a favor and get some treatment or move to the Rockies, but do not apply for employment with
us. Also, if you suspect all wealthy women are frivilous, we are not for you. I do not want to hide my
occasional bergdorf shopping bag.
If you smoke, please quit. don't apply either, but please quit. i have known too many people diagnosed
with cancer this year. Even if you are a judgemental nanny 911 wannabe, no one should have to
endure some of the things I have wittnessed.
You gotta be able to drive with a valid license, but if you've ever hit a human,move to the next post.
You won't have to drive in the city, but if we go to our weekend place together, or if you make it to the
summer and still work for us, we need you to run into town to get some pink milk, so be able to drive
a mini van.
Can you swim? Swimming is good.
If you do drugs or drink enough so that you are grumpy in the morning and grumpier at night prior to
that next cocktail, call AA, and peruse craigslist childcare positions when you have a year sober. I'll
probably be looking again, and now is the time for you to focus on yourself anyway.
I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library
books are due, and whether i have rsvped to that birthday party yet.
Help me dear G-d keep track of our skim milk supply and also, also, also, what should I make for
dinner tomorrow night?
the hours are 7 in the morning to 8:30 in the morning. We'd be in it together, getting the kids out with
clean faces, brushed teeth and some food in their bellies. Doesn't that sound easy? Doesn't that sound
doable?
Then come on back for a fun filled afternoon 2:15-8:15 of activities and playdates and snacks and
dinners and homework and riveting conversations about global warming, hannah montana and guitar
hero.
When you do get to go home (to that swanky studio and possibly a significant other or buddy) your
time off will be respected. If I would like you to give extra hours, i'll ask. if you say yes, you get paid
15/ hour. if you say no, I will not fire you or hate you. Except if it is a school holiday or if i have a
sick kid, then i might ask, and unless you have a final exam worth 2/3 of your grade or tix The Lion
King, you may need to help out.
Okay, if you're still reading this ad, it means:
a) i am a halfway decent writer and maybe i really will get that book deal i'm yearning for
b) you need a job desparately
c) you think this just might be destiny, and that you could be one of the few, the proud, the potential
babysitter of our dreams.
D) you want all the information about job requirements, so that you can write me emails about how I
should stay home with my kids otherwise they are going to grow up to be sociopaths. (If my pen pal is
out there, wassup? Found love yet? No? How 'bout that.)
best of luck to all of you in your search for a job. Seriously. Job searching sucks. No two ways about
it.
RLS
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/757746196.html
My Fave:
QuoteYou were being shoved into a Dallas Police car. - m4w
Date: 2008-08-14, 8:58AM CDT
I shouted "f#$% the police"...you made the black panther fist. You got tasered, I got goosebumps. Your hair is very pretty. Let's chat after you make bail.
[laugh]
OMG that's funny
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/hss/847384155.html
Quote from: bobspapa on September 22, 2008, 01:31:38 PM
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/hss/847384155.html
BP
You promoting your new business?
Quote from: MikeZ on September 22, 2008, 01:36:56 PM
BP
You promoting your new business?
times are lean.... a mans got'ta do what a mans got'ta do
[laugh]
If you are going to advertise here you should become a sponsor. Good luck in your new endeavor ;D
Quote from: howie on September 22, 2008, 03:18:12 PM
If you are going to advertise here you should become a sponsor. Good luck in your new endeavor ;D
Chris wont let me post my full frontal ad pic
What if you wear a clutch cover? Um, nevermind :P
hey..... thats a great idea [thumbsup]
Here's one:
http://charlotte.craigslist.org/mcy/932917194.html (http://charlotte.craigslist.org/mcy/932917194.html)
JM
[roll]
I like how they wrote "$60k INVESTED"
More like wasted [laugh]
[puke] [puke]
Do they actually think the bikini lady is helping???
If they "invested" it, it was a poor investment. They're selling it for less than half of what they "invested"...
"Sickest" Hyabusa works for me.
As in that bike makes me feel the "Sickest" of all the customs I've seen [puke]
Quote from: NAKID on November 24, 2008, 06:58:11 PM
If they "invested" it, it was a poor investment. They're selling it for less than half of what they "invested"...
Must be tied directly to our economy...
my 401k took a similar turn
;)
Quote from: DesmoDiva on November 24, 2008, 06:55:38 PM
[puke] [puke]
Do they actually think the bikini lady is helping???
I'm more likely to pay that amount for the girl than the bike though I don't think either are worth that much. [roll]
9.6
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/394614542.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/394614542.html)
lmao
[laugh]
OMG
[laugh]
So funny
[laugh]
http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/vol/1096612612.html (http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/vol/1096612612.html)
Uh, wow :o
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on March 29, 2009, 09:00:15 PM
http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/vol/1096612612.html (http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/vol/1096612612.html)
Uh, wow :o
What does the dental exam have to do with anything?
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on March 29, 2009, 09:00:15 PM
http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/vol/1096612612.html (http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/vol/1096612612.html)
Uh, wow :o
Uh, why???
Are they looking to get a human that can climb trees and fling shit, or a monkey that can wear a suit and ruin the environment?
Quote from: Randimus Maximus on March 29, 2009, 09:03:38 PM
What does the dental exam have to do with anything?
Monkey chow is hard on the teeth?
Seriously, this is either a joke or the work of a seriously insane person.
(Hint: You can't actually interbreed humans and monkeys)
says you
Anytime you see a CL ad like that you need to post the text! It's been flagged for removal...
Quote from: NAKID on March 30, 2009, 04:51:26 AM
Anytime you see a CL ad like that you need to post the text! It's been flagged for removal...
Yup-this whole thread is just a bunch o dead links.
Just saw this one today
Hello all
I have some old networking equipment I am looking to sell
I have two 3com 12 port network hubs and one Kentrox 4 port add/drop CSU/DSU.
I am looking to sell all three items for $30.00. or $10.00 bucks each if seperated.
email here on the list or give me a call at (319) 521-9201
thanks for looking!
Not only junk, but isn't $30 for 3 or $10 each the same thing?
mitt
Quote from: mitt on March 31, 2009, 10:37:22 AM
[snip]
Not only junk, but isn't $30 for 3 or $10 each the same thing?
mitt
the craigslistpolice will be arriving shortly. you've really done it this time.....
Here's one, but it has to be fake?
____________________________________________________
Missed Connections: Woman running naked (MoVal)
(http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/mis/1102189681.html)
You were running naked down the street screaming and maybe crying too. Last nite/early this morning around 1:30 am on Farmwood. u look like u might be black or hispanic I really couldn't tail u ran by me so fast, you may have been bleeding too but our eyes locked and I felt a connection Among other things. I thought you were HOT! I wanted to aks you for your number but didn't have the nerve. Can I take u out drinking and smoke sometime? HIt me up if this is you. What happened to your clothes?
__________________________________________________
I edited the last word.
Dear best buy #305
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/1018581833.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/1018581833.html)
Quote from: MendoDave on April 01, 2009, 03:09:51 PM
Dear best buy #305
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/1018581833.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/1018581833.html)
Here, let me show you guys how it works. Copy...Check, Paste....
Quote
This Letter of Apology is not only for the staff at the Best Buy #305 in Schaumburg, Illinois, but also to the gentleman in the middle stall in the men's restroom at about 5:17 CST on Saturday, January 31st. You had been in there for awhile, so this Letter of Apology is as much for you. Please let me expand…
I recently finished reading The Chris Farley Show (I strongly recommend this book for everyone) and have been wanting to buy SNL's Best of Chris Farley. After my fiancee's grandmother's 90th birthday party in the northwest suburbs (very lovely gathering, by the way) Saturday late afternoon/early evening, I decide to stop by and buy it. Right away, I find the last one on the shelf as my fiancée is looking for other “bargains,†and I pass it to her when I realize my stomach is rumbling. I decide to take a trip to the men's room in search of a better life for myself. That's when complications began to arise.
As I walk towards the men's room, a mother is telling her son “it's okay, use the bathroom, I'll be right here†or something like that. I remember being that age (about 7-9) and public bathrooms were not your friend. I walk in just behind the little boy and see him glance at the urinal for a brief second â€" and then he walks to the rear stall. DAMMIT!! The middle stall is taken, and I think pooping in a urinal on a Saturday afternoon is a felony in most states. I sigh, leave, and take a couple of more (fast) laps around all of the movies and Wii games.
I return to the restroom about four minutes and ten seconds later, and the rear stall is now open. PAYDIRT!!! The middle stall is still occupied by the same dude as before (I can tell by seeing the same shoes and pants on the floor underneath the door). I actually think to myself, “that sucks, poor guy.†After wiping the toilet seat, I sit down and take a refreshing and cleansing poo. Things are looking up in life again.
I go to flush the toilet and sneer at how ugly it looks in there. It's bad. Really bad. It is actually too gross for me to follow-through on taking a picture of it and texting it to my friend Steve.
Anyway, here is where things went awry. Very. I flush the toilet. Bubble. Bubbling. Rumbling. Uh-oh. The water rises a little. Please go down. Please. The water rises a little more. Nervousness settles in. Quickly. Shit. Dammit. make the beast with two backs. make the beast with two backs. make the beast with two backs. Stop the water. Industrial toilet. It's not an option. WTF. Shit. Please go down. Water still rising. Not going down. Really bad. 1†to go. make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs. Please just stop. 1/2†left. Time to think of an exit strategy. Water overflows. Well, I guess you can call it water, but it doesn't really look like water anymore. And, I just remember about the poor guy in the middle stall. Stay calm. And get out of there. Now.
“Watch your feet, dude, I'll get somebody quick.†I said it as calm as I possibly could.
I almost immediately find a Best Buy employee: “I just wanted you to know that a toilet is overflowing in the men's restroom, and you're going to want to get somebody in there quick.â€
I find my fiancée almost immediately. I walk very (very) fast towards her. “Can you get the movies? I'll get the car.†She knows something is wrong. Very wrong. I guess I won't argue with her buying Forgetting Sarah Marshall, then. I go to the car and circle around the parking lot for about eight minutes. I am hoping that the guy from the middle stall isn't scouring the parking lot yet for the guy with brown hair in the black pullover and dark green vest. My fiancée walks out, she jumps in, and I speed away as fast as a 5 MPH speed limit in a parking lot permits.
So, please accept my apology, the guy in the middle stall, and also the fine employees at the Best Buy #305. I sincerely apologize for any heartache, headaches, and pain I may have caused you. And for ruining your weekend. Every time I watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall with my lovely soon-to-be wife, a special cloud of guilt will hang over my head for you.
Sincerely,
Anonymous.
Check
See how easy that was...
Whatever. I hope it wasn't too difficult to click the link.
Quote from: MendoDave on April 01, 2009, 08:23:21 PM
Whatever. I hope it wasn't too difficult to click the link.
The reason for this is the fickle nature of most of these craigslist posting. They are here to entertain and amuse us one day, and to deceive and frustrate us the next, when we click on the link and find out that said posting has expired [thumbsup]
Quote from: MendoDave on April 01, 2009, 08:23:21 PM
Whatever. I hope it wasn't too difficult to click the link.
Quote from: El Matador on April 01, 2009, 08:35:14 PM
The reason for this is the fickle nature of most of these craigslist posting. They are here to entertain and amuse us one day, and to deceive and frustrate us the next, when we click on the link and find out that said posting has expired [thumbsup]
We just addressed this 2 days ago. That's why. Not to mention some people's networks won't allow them to view CL...
yes true
however
having them disappear in a short time makes them funny and derby proof
you don't want to use up all the funny do you?
Quote from: Mother on April 02, 2009, 05:49:40 AM
you don't want to use up all the funny do you?
it does seem to be in pretty short supply.
lol....I forgot about this thread :P
Life sentence given to Craigslist killer
Story (http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/04/02/Life-sentence-given-to-Craigslist-killer/UPI-98571238693435/)
Ick.
I promise this isn't me. But is in same area and similar monsters.
Dumb woman (http://v)
Me: matte black Ducati Monster, beautiful in every way
You: Gray SUV that your husband owns, which you shouldn't be licensed to drive
I was on my way home, physically exhausted from the nature of my previous location. I was eager to come home and shower. I take the same exit, every day, on the same motorcycle and I ride the same path, given the conditions of the road have gone unchanged. I live off of La Sierra. They've been doing construction on this road for years. You had to have known this. There's one left turn lane from the offramp, which is often filled by a line of ten or so cars. Just as I do everywhere else, I split the lane and ride my merry way to the head of the line of you boxed sheep. Yes, and it's the god damn law. make the beast with two backs you if you don't know it. Yes, in California, I, a motorcyclist, am permitted to share lanes with mongoloid car drivers just like yourself. I use this law to my advantage, every god damn day, along with every other god damn motorcyclist on the road. There is no way that this hasn't happened to you before. I pulled up next to your driver side window, taking the head of the line, patiently waiting for my green light, when you decided that now was a good time for you to begin a discussion.
You rolled down your window and began indirectly jabbering at the back of my helmet. No, I didn't really hear what you said, nor do I care. All I needed to hear was the initial "H-E-L-L-O" out of your filthy mouth to know that you were a worthless, dumb woman. Further more, you couldn't even look any direction near my face while talking. Weak. While trying to peace together your worthless words, I gathered that you were upset in regards to my newfound position in life; at the head of your ridiculous line. If you had spared even a short moment to consider the situation, I doubt you would have been so upset. My pulling ahead of you, although it may be difficult to comprehend, has absolutely no effect on your position in traffic. You will not arrive at your final destination any sooner/later, because of me. Only five seconds after that light turned green, I was about two cars ahead of you, just as there were before I arrived. Moron. Think. Still, despite logic, my presence upset you. Good. I'm glad that you think of the nature of driving in such a childish manner. It makes it that much sweeter when I weave in and out of foolish woman cattle like yourself on the 91. make the beast with two backs you.
Unfortunately, I was unable to react as I should have, all due to the ten police officers directly to our left. The next time someone like you decides to spew their frustrations at me while I'm riding, I'll remember you. I'll remember, before making use of a powerful, hand built, italian powerplant, to first make use of my foot by kicking your side mirror off of your husband's car. Next time.
* Location: Riverside, La sierra offramp
http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/mcy/1226169735.html (http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/mcy/1226169735.html)
Kawasaki Ninja 250 R 2003 - $3200 (281 & Stone Oak)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-reeqv-1226169735@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-17, 12:09PM CDT
I have a 2003 Kawasaki Ninja 250R for sale. The bike has exactly 7,386 miles on it and i have the free and clear title to the bike. Its in mint shape but does have a couple small scratches here and there like any other bike. Front left turning signal is broken but still works but that is really simple to fix. It goes about 130 mph, is a 6 speed, gets any where from 55 - 70 mpg on gas, has a upgraded headlight that is pretty bright, double muffler on it, helmet holder on the side, anti steering wheel lock on it, the inspection is good intill next year of feb 2010, Ins is only about $15.00 a mouth and is a eye catcher for sure. I'm only selling for cash & thats it. If anyone wants get some more info on the specs free to look it up online. So if any wants to but this bike just call me at 210-678-1033 & ask for Carlos. I will work with anyone on the price, so feel free to call. It is $3,100.00 or your obo & I will work with anyones offer. Thanks Here are a couple of specs:
Features:
• Compact DOHC Twin cylinder engine. 4 valves per cylinder. Lightweight alloy cylinder head. High-compression, lightweight alloy pistons. Advanced liquid-cooling.
• Maintenance chores are minimized with an automatic cam chain tensioner, silent-type cam chain, low-friction coating on chain guides, plus a low-maintenance battery.
• Easy-to-select 6-speed transmission with Kawasaki's convenient Positive Neutral Finder.
• Diamond high-tensile steel frame and advanced suspension components including the single shock UNI-TRAK® rear suspension system.
• Stainless steel disc brakes front and rear. Balanced Actuation front brake caliper for consistent wear and performance.
• Light overall dry weight, low seat height, electric starter, rider-friendly ergonomics, and a 4 gallon (18 L) fuel tank make the 250R a great introduction to the world of sportbikes.
• Comprehensive instrumentation includes large speedometer and tachometer.
• Retractable bungee cord hooks add convenience and style.
Specifications:
ZZ-R250
Engine type 4-stroke, liquid-cooled In-Line Twin
Displacement 248cc
Bore x stroke 62 x 41.2mm
Compression Ratio 12.4:1
Valve system DOHC, 8 valves
Fuel system Keihin CVK30 x 2
Ignition Digital
Starting Electric
Transmission 6 Speed with Positive Neutral Finder
Frame type Aluminium double box-section diamond frame
Rake/trail 27°/84 mm (3.3 inches)
Suspension, front 37mm hydraulic fork
Suspension, rear Bottom-Link UNI-TRAK®
Tires, front, rear Tubeless; 100/80-17; 140/70-17
Brakes, front Disc with Balanced
Brakes, rear Actuation Caliper Disc
Wheelbase 1405 mm (55.1 inches)
Seat height 760 mm (29.3 inches)
Fuel capacity 18 litres (4 gallons)
Dry weight 148 kiligrams (304 pounds)
Location: 281 & Stone Oak
Mint condition except for the scratches and broken signal. This must be the Ninja 250R Capirex if it does 130!
Quote from: NAKID on June 17, 2009, 12:42:55 PM
Mint condition except for the scratches and broken signal. This must be the Ninja 250R Capirex if it does 130!
Oh so that's why its $3300.
Girl seeking WoW player - w4m
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-10-14, 11:01AM PDT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you like to PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the eighteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? Continue reading..
I will be playing my druid.. she is in full Season 3 and some Season 4. I play with another female player on her warrior, but she is not going to physically join us.. she will be on vent or skype listening in, but mostly her purpose will be to keep the game going smoothly by letting me know what is happening so I don't have to pay much attention.
You must be ok with vaginal and anal penetration, as well as eating me out, and you must be able to finish on me twice within one hour.
But more importantly, you must be familiar with the game. You should be not only yelling things like, "Your pussy feels so good on my dick" but also pay some attention to my arena game(s). And be loud. Remember, I'll have my headset on to talk to my partner. "Root him!", "Cyclone so I can pull out and make the beast with two backs your ass" and so on. You must be kinky, naughty, and very horny. I will be quizzing you, so if you are not sure about your stuff, please do not respond.
What you have to do/have in order for me to consider you:
- You must have at least one level 70 in equivalent gear, maybe we can chat about it.
- You cannot be overweight, but also not the muscle jock body type with a brain the size of a pea. Chubby is BEST!
- You must be able to spell.
- You must be at least 20 years old and no older than 29.
- At least 5'10".
- No blondies.
- Dark hair, dark eyes
- Prefer uncut, but you must be clean. Circumsized will be considered, but not preferred.
About me:
- I am 5'8"
- 150lbs
- Blue eyes and brown hair.
- I know a lot about video games.
- I want to make the beast with two backs you while I play arena if you fulfill the above requirements. - I am very tight.. I have not had sex in about 8 months.
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 878989144
Uhhhhh, WOW...
completely speechless
Quote from: Ducaholic on June 17, 2009, 11:03:55 AManti steering wheel lock on it
I guess the seller is more impressed with the anti-steering function of the wheel lock than I am.
Quote from: Eeyore on August 04, 2009, 10:41:19 PMGirl seeking WoW player - w4m
There's an active fantasy life, and there's delusionality.
I have a personal opinion about which side of the line this falls on.
I have to hope this was a public "love letter" to someone specific she wants to hook up with. If that's the case - bravo! Otherwise, that's pretty scary.
Quick. . .
to the sexual deviant thread!!!!!
??? uh.....
http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/cto/1448080933.html (http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/cto/1448080933.html)
I'll take it !!!
Quote from: Scottish on November 02, 2009, 10:03:51 AM
??? uh.....
http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/cto/1448080933.html (http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/cto/1448080933.html)
Bad knock maybe? Some 140w gear oil will fix that! [laugh]
Behind you in line at DQ - m4w
Date: 2009-09-04, 4:50PM PDT
I was in line at the DQ on 6th getting mother's usual order of 3 hot dogs and onion rings. I was looking down at my Gameboy, not paying attention to the line when I felt the warm breeze hit my legs. I looked up from my Pokemon battle and there you were. 5'2, about 315 lbs. You had the remnants of your first two DQ orders stuck in your teeth, which were so gnarled, I could see them from the back.
You were polishing off a Dilly Bar when the methane cloud rose to my nostrils, curling my nose hairs. It was an aroma that could only be produced by a goddess. As I felched it, I detected a hit of salmon as well as delicate notes of chili. Subtle overtones of movie theater style butter pop corn were soon overpowered by the second wave, which brought a strong scent and taste of corned beef and cabbage. (Mmmmmmm...)
I could see the gas bubble trying to escape from your neoprene-esque tights, most of which were so far up your crack, I debated momentarily whether they were actually two pairs of pants, each housing one of your delightful cankles. The outline of your swollen, probably irritated pachyderm knuckle made me picture a furry cantaloupe split perfectly down the middle, complete with crateresque dimples. This image only further infuriated my raging erection. I struggled to contain my three inches until I eventually prematurely ejaculated. It might have been embarrassing had I not been wearing pajamas with the feet in them under my value brand khakis.
I know you will probably never read this, as I heard you commenting to the store clerk that you could not read, and proceeded to order by pointing at pictures and grunting. But I had to share my story.
I hope to see you again some day. And if by some chance someone reads this to you, please do not shave, I really liked your mustache.
* Location: Grants Pass
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1359017762
wow
really?
Quote from: Monsterlover on November 02, 2009, 10:35:52 AM
wow
really?
It's true.
Sometimes you can't make this shit up. [laugh]
[laugh]
apparently not [puke]
Quote from: alfisti on November 02, 2009, 10:19:32 AM
pachyderm knuckle
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
never heard that one before.
Also the first time I've seen the word "felch" used convincingly in context [thumbsup]
Quote from: Mother on August 04, 2009, 10:41:19 PM
Girl seeking WoW player - w4m
I'd do her... as long as she brings beer and doesn't try to talk to me... about anything.
Quote from: factorPlayer on November 03, 2009, 11:06:38 AM
Also the first time I've seen the word "felch" used convincingly in context [thumbsup]
Put that thumb down. I don't think we should really be encouraging felching-related speech.
[laugh]
Quote from: 13 on November 03, 2009, 12:41:29 PM
I'd do her... as long as she brings beer and doesn't try to talk to me... about anything.
Not even roll playing? [laugh]
Quote from: 13 on November 03, 2009, 12:41:29 PM
I'd do her... as long as she brings beer and doesn't try to talk to me... about anything.
i would do it without her brining the beer.
the only problem is i don't play WoW and never will.
I'll file it under fan fiction and pretend that there really is a freaky gamer chick out there.
i mean you gotta like it just for the freak factor. [laugh]
Quote from: KnightofNi on November 04, 2009, 05:57:36 AM
i would do it without her brining the beer.
the only problem is i don't play WoW and never will.
I'll file it under fan fiction and pretend that there really is a freaky gamer chick out there.
i mean you gotta like it just for the freak factor. [laugh]
I have never played it either I hear the withdraw is a pregnant dog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc
LOL, WTF is with him trying to jam the remote up his ass? [laugh]
DAMN. If I ever threw a tantrum like that as a kid I wouldn't be here typing right now.
(where's the beat-down emoticon?)
I saw a .gif of that where they replaced the remote with a banana.
I can't find it for the life of me though. very funny [laugh]
Also, I think the vid is fake. . .
I kind of like this.
License Plate BJN7523
Date: 2009-09-11, 11:33PM EDT
Dear Sir or Madam:
Ha ha! You are clever! You regifted your unwanted parking ticket to a neighboring vehicle! Unfortunately, you disregarded two important points. First, I do not drive a silver Buick; second, I do not plan to pay the city $30 on your behalf.
I understand fines double after 10 days and triple after 90 days. Good luck with that.
Cordial Disregards,
the Neighboring Vehicle's Driver
Nice [thumbsup]
Here's a winner, that I hope is a joke
"2004 Kawasaki Ninja 250 - $3700 FIRM
UP FOR SALE IS MY KAWSAKI NINJA 250 MOTOBIKE. IT GOTS ONLY 648 MILES ON IT. I'M DUN LERNING AND IM TRADING UP TO A HYABOOSA. SOME PEOPLE MAY THINK THAT IM ASKING A LOT OF MONEY FOR MY MOTORBIKE BUT THEY ARE WRONG. THEY HAVE NOT SEEN THE STICKERS IVE PUT ON THIS BIKE. THEY HAVE SKULLS AND FLAMES AND THE SKULLS HAVE SPIKES ON THEM TOO. THERE TRICK YO. I DROPPED THE BIKE ONCE BUT ITS OKAY CUZ THE STICKERS COVER IT UP. ON TOP OF THE STICKERS I HAVE INVESTED ALOT OF $$$ IN TAX AND TAG FEES, AND I'VE PUT SEVERAL TANKS OF GAS INTO IT, SO I WANT TO GET AT LEAST $3700 FOR IT. $3700 FIRM! I SAID FIRM SO THAT MEANS YOU CANT WASTE MY TIME WITH ANY LOWBALL OFFERS! LOL K PEACE. "
Yo...
It can't be for real.
I would hope not....
I hope its a fake too... But it is from Dundalk. That is a special magical land where the genes grow thin and the eyebrows thick...
(http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/1/collegehumor.73be4f13cd1274ecc4a726c17980d626.png)
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
bwahahahahaha
[thumbsup]
o--- :o--- :o--- :o
LOLOLOL
Wow!
I love the creative writing on the anal beads ad. Unfortunately, it's given away by the fact that only someone who's familiar with such items would have a clue about prices. "Kids' bracelet" for twenty bucks?
[laugh]
Someone may still have a chance with this one
Looking for some play time - w4m - 38 (portland)
Date: 2009-12-11, 11:40PM EST
Reply To This Post
Good evening everybody,
I'm looking for a person (man or woman) who wants to have sex with my wife's sister. She's spending the night at my house and we are all getting drunk, so you probably have a chance with her. She's kind of old, and has had sex with a lot of people, but she's not too bad looking sometimes. So if you want to get lucky tonight let me know. I don't have a place you can have sex with her, but I live in the woods, so you can go prop her up against a tree or something!
Thank you and good night.
* Location: portland
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1506354093
============================================================
Harley rider pre-ride check off list
Date: 2009-09-01, 9:06AM
Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the “Live to rideâ€"ride to live†statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the “I'm a bad ass mothermake the beast with two backser†harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some “chapter†like: North chapter of pig make the beast with two backsing obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: [url=http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1353199509.html]http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1353199509.html[/url]
============================================================
Quote from: Bun-bun on December 12, 2009, 04:54:13 AM
============================================================
Harley rider pre-ride check off list
Date: 2009-09-01, 9:06AM
Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the “Live to rideâ€"ride to live†statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the “I'm a bad ass mothermake the beast with two backser†harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some “chapter†like: North chapter of pig make the beast with two backsing obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: [url=http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1353199509.html]http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/1353199509.html[/url]
============================================================
Rendered more readable:
Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the “Live to rideâ€"ride to live†statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the “I'm a bad ass mothermake the beast with two backser†harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some “chapter†like: North chapter of pig make the beast with two backsing obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
Thanks. Don't know why it all jumbled together when I hit post, it was orderly up til then.
[wine] to you.
being both a Harley and a Duc rider I made some adjustments:
1. Spend 6- hours adjusting valves every other ride.
4. paid $2K too much for suspension that only can handle 160 pounds of rider
3. Pack cell phone and cappuccino dollars in hand for the next stop.
4. Look in mirror and perfect the “I'm a bad ass mother" that paid too much for †DP stuff like Termis.
5. Don you Ducati leathers that resemble rainbows.
6. Check for nearby gas stations for when bike runs out of gas at 90 miles (90% probability)
7. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving (especially if you have Termis).
8. Leather pants with hockey pucks to look cool...knowing you wont be dragging knees.
9. Gloves with kevlar to protect you from 160 mph crashes.
10. Wrap around sunglasses to keep the sun from your eyes from all those wheelies.
11. Skull condom cap to keep your helmet from smelling like musty ass.
12. DP books to match the flare of your multi colored suit.
Quote from: muskrat on December 12, 2009, 02:41:01 PM
being both a Harley and a Duc rider I made some adjustments:
1. Spend 6- hours adjusting valves every other ride.
4. paid $2K too much for suspension that only can handle 160 pounds of rider
3. Pack cell phone and cappuccino dollars in hand for the next stop.
4. Look in mirror and perfect the “I'm a bad ass mother" that paid too much for †DP stuff like Termis.
5. Don you Ducati leathers that resemble rainbows.
6. Check for nearby gas stations for when bike runs out of gas at 90 miles (90% probability)
7. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving (especially if you have Termis).
8. Leather pants with hockey pucks to look cool...knowing you wont be dragging knees.
9. Gloves with kevlar to protect you from 160 mph crashes.
10. Wrap around sunglasses to keep the sun from your eyes from all those wheelies.
11. Skull condom cap to keep your helmet from smelling like musty ass.
12. DP books to match the flare of your multi colored suit.
+1 [laugh] [laugh] [clap] [drink]
Bike for sale
What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "make the beast with two backs YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".
The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.
The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.
The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.
I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:
Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear
I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.
Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't make the beast with two backs around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".
Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)
Quote from: muskrat on December 12, 2009, 02:41:01 PM
being both a Harley and a Duc rider I made some adjustments:
1. Spend 6- hours adjusting valves every other ride.
4. paid $2K too much for suspension that only can handle 160 pounds of rider
3. Pack cell phone and cappuccino dollars in hand for the next stop.
4. Look in mirror and perfect the “I'm a bad ass mother" that paid too much for †DP stuff like Termis.
5. Don you Ducati leathers that resemble rainbows.
6. Check for nearby gas stations for when bike runs out of gas at 90 miles (90% probability)
7. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving (especially if you have Termis).
8. Leather pants with hockey pucks to look cool...knowing you wont be dragging knees.
9. Gloves with kevlar to protect you from 160 mph crashes.
10. Wrap around sunglasses to keep the sun from your eyes from all those wheelies.
11. Skull condom cap to keep your helmet from smelling like musty ass.
12. DP books to match the flare of your multi colored suit.
Oh, and this one needs a bump, daily. [laugh]
And now, for your dining enjoyment, this post from Craigslist:
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503javascript:void(0); U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
^^^ That's old. Very old. :D
Highlander Opening Sequence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzMM9kfU8-Q#normal)
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
(I spent a good twenty minutes looking for a good video of them yelling it. No luck. So we are resorting to the New American Gladiators for add'l commentary)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBVvlq7latc#t=1m20s (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBVvlq7latc#t=1m20s)
LOL ^^^^ looks like Stretch Armstrong.
http://erie.craigslist.org/cto/1566168971.html (http://erie.craigslist.org/cto/1566168971.html)
I have a 1990 Chevy Surban 4x4 the just QUIT running ( lost oil presser and started making a banking noice ) 350 V8 auto just had new grease put in rear end and tranfer case and unvacles . Has 3" lift kit Chrome wheels 6 bolts
Insp. until may 2010 , I have large Mud tires on it ! The day before it quite we had just filled the tank with 35 gals of gas ! I will knot off $ 100.00 if I take out my NEW BATTERY and the GAS !
Call for more info: 814-720-5870 leave massage for Tom
[laugh]
Unvacles ??? [roll] ;D [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
wasn't sure what he meant by that...
SECURITY GUARD TRAP - $500 (VICTORVILLE)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-01-24, 1:14AM PST
Reply to: sale-sqvsk-1567821931@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED YOUR OWN MINI ME,MILITARY AFFILIATED, SECURITY GUARD OF YOUR OWN.WELL COME ONE COME ALL AND BUY YOURSELF A 100% FOOL PROOF SECURITY GUARD TRAP!EASY SET UP AND ABLE TO HOLD UP TO FOUR TO FIVE SECURITY GUARDS AT ONCE OR ONE MIGHTY MOUSE OF A GUARD.
TO OPERATE IS SIMPLE:
STEP 1:SET UP TENT ASPECIALLY THIS MODLE
STEP 2:PLACE AND OFFICAL POLICE OFFICER APPLICATION INSIDE
STEP 3:THEN ONCE THE SECURITY GUARD IS INSIDE QUICKLY CLOSE TENT.
THEN SIT BACK AND ENJOY AS YOU WATCH YOUR SECURITY GUARD FIGHTS AND YELLS OUT OUT LANDISH THINGS SUCH AS:
"YOU ASSHOLE LET ME OUT."
"AMANDA LET ME OUT OF HERE"
make the beast with two backs I SURVIVED IRAQ WHY THE HELL CAN'T I GET OUT OF HERE"
"make the beast with two backsING MYKE AND RUDY I KNOW ITS YOU GUYS"
WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR GUYS ASSES"
SO HURRY WHILE SUPPLIES LAST.BECAUSE THEY ARE SELLING LIKE HOT CAKES
********* you never cease to amaze me 143wolf@live.com *************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-12-31, 9:13AM PST
Reply to: sale-znhwz-1531847683@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a link to the ENTIRE list of TOU's.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use (http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use)
When YOU start following the CL's TOU's I'll stop posting the nice emails YOU send me. Once again the ball is in YOUR court.
YOU have no one to blame but yourself.
And once again thanks for the laugh !!!!!!!!!!
7. CONDUCT
You agree not to post, email, or otherwise make available Content:
a) that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, or is harmful to minors in any way;
c) that harasses, degrades, intimidates or is hateful toward an individual or group of individuals on the basis of religion, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, age, or disability;
We accept commercial posts under "services offered." You are welcome to advertise your services there. It's free.
Commercial posts submitted to categories outside of "services offered" are subject to removal. Our failure to act with
respect to a breach by you or others does not waive our right to act with respect to subsequent or similar breaches.
u) use automated means, including spiders, robots, crawlers, data mining tools, or the like to download data from the Service - unless expressly permitted by craigslist;
w) post the same item or service in more than one classified category or forum, or in more than one metropolitan area, and top posting.
This is from 143wolf@live.com:
you will not be laughing when we get a hold of you asshole. better save up for a good lawyer jack ass. You need to get a real life and quit being an self appointed craigslist security cop.. There is something wrong with your brain. Your dad must had hit you in the head with a bat went you were a little pregnant dog.... you are either a professional moron or a gifted asshole or both... looking for you. send me an email I would to hear from you. I have some little pieces and getting closer.
learn to spell also if you are going to profess to be a Rhodes scholar.. lower case since you only know about weak ass schools like local OCC. must be where you tried to get an AA and failed. surprised you even made it out of grade school and all being trailer trash pregnant dog. most likely today that is what you do in the day time is pimp and ho. HOHOHO, pun intended.
ninjas mean anything to ya. look us up.
ah
1.5c ENGAGEMENT RING - $2000 (Orange County)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-01-18, 9:04AM PST
Reply to: sale-vwb8c-1558356136@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brand New Engagement Ring from Kay's Jeweler. F** the cheating bastard the ring was bought for over 3000 selling for 2000 obo!!!!
this is the ring but mine is princess cut..beautiful ring but i dont want it!
;D
Bong Zong 2 feet almost new great buy - $80 (fullerton)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-01-20, 1:02PM PST
Reply to: sale-eprev-1562263711@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i dont no y some dumbass thinks my post is a scam i can asure its not..... look at todays the date i posted this new ad anyways this is my old zong i just dont want it anymore its clean as new and ready for you i got a new downstem so you dont have 2 worry about that anymore but now i chipped the bottom part of the hole where the downstem goes into the bong and yeahhhh its still air tight but the chip is there and thats why im only chargeing 80 bucks.................... it hits good and clean i put alot of water in it so it would chug and not hit way fast but you do whatever you want i wont stop you im sure will talk more about this when you come and pick it up THE BOWL PIECE IS NOT INCLUDED .. this is a great deal even if there arnt any perks in it or anything like its 2 feet tall hits good you'll love it go and buy a new bong for 200 plus or buy mine for 80 i dont care give me a call if you wanna buy it 714 399 5533 my names andy and please leave me a message if i dont answer or my phones off i sleep alot
(http://i834.photobucket.com/albums/zz267/LowThudd/bong.jpg)
Quote from: Monsterlover on January 23, 2010, 05:59:21 PM
http://erie.craigslist.org/cto/1566168971.html (http://erie.craigslist.org/cto/1566168971.html)
I have a 1990 Chevy Surban 4x4 the just QUIT running ( lost oil presser and started making a banking noice ) 350 V8 auto just had new grease put in rear end and tranfer case and unvacles . Has 3" lift kit Chrome wheels 6 bolts
Insp. until may 2010 , I have large Mud tires on it ! The day before it quite we had just filled the tank with 35 gals of gas ! I will knot off $ 100.00 if I take out my NEW BATTERY and the GAS !
Call for more info: 814-720-5870 leave massage for Tom
[laugh]
:o
how did tom find the internet?
lol, the funniest thing is that I thought I clicked the "Crafty Basterds" thread with pictures of things that we've made. I thought damn lowthudds a pothead lol. [laugh]
Quote from: Scottish on January 24, 2010, 08:20:57 AM
lol, the funniest thing is that I thought I clicked the "Crafty Basterds" thread with pictures of things that we've made. I thought damn lowthudds a pothead lol. [laugh]
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Quote from: Scottish on January 24, 2010, 08:20:57 AM
lol, the funniest thing is that I thought I clicked the "Crafty Basterds" thread with pictures of things that we've made. I thought damn lowthudds a pothead lol. [laugh]
Hey, who told you! [roll] ;D
Didn't which thread to post this in CL or 1911 ???
Enjoy.
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
THAT is the kewlist thing that has ever been. The sludge leaker got what he deserved in a big way. LMAO! [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [laugh]
BS, but funny as hell nonetheless.
not funny, but damn cool
http://fresno.craigslist.org/mcy/1553429716.html (http://fresno.craigslist.org/mcy/1553429716.html)
price keeps increasing with age and mileage http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mcy/1615808758.html (http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mcy/1615808758.html)
My goodness... 13k? with 10k mi?
Groovy dolly-cart van for sale - $4500 (Mar Vista)
Date: 2010-02-22, 7:35PM PST
Reply to: sale-eeuhg-1613542814@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I bought this bad boy baby at a bakesale outside of Wolverhampton about 3 years ago. The Freighter van is a real pantie dropper. She's a '74, originally from Texas. Motor is from a Ford Starliner that had it's factory 352 swapped out with a 390. My mate Sammy Wengalls (of Wengall's Bakery Shoppe fame) built it to 401HP. 3 deuces with factory cast headers. Transmission is a three speed standard with overdrive. And boy howdy does she like overdrive. Standard steering, power brakes, A/C that blows cold as a witche's tits. Originally with a white exterior and red interior and now with a beige exterior and white naughahyde interior. Frame & floor are in good condition. Has soft spot in floor just east of the right rear fenderwell (good for dumping stash out when on the move, if you know what I mean), a couple of bubbles around rear wheel-well openings, four or five quarter-sized holes in the door down by the drivers feet. This is a solid Texas car. Craig CB-radio and about 12 bar-buoy cup holders last time I counted (though I could have been drinking). She's ready for a no-holds-barred 3,000 km adventure. Giive her a bit of welly and see where she takes you.
Price â€" $4,500 or will trade for water skiing boat or timeshare in Hawaii. If you're into wife-swapping, that's cool too.
Addl search words: Budapest, suped-up, 8-track tape, '70's, tricked-out, bad ass, The A Team, The A-Team, hot rod, disco, freak show, Lou Reed, Santana, Def Leopard, Grateful Dead, retro, shag, Eames, Swanson's TV dinners, Stratocaster, Keith Richards, Jim Carroll, The Doors, Smashing Windows, Oriental Carpets On Fire Replete With Miniature Spanish Olives (and they're already pretty small)
* Location: Mar Vista
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
(http://images.craigslist.org/3o43p43l35T75Pa5Rba2m26a6cc29a87317bf.jpg)
Quote from: alfisti on February 25, 2010, 02:27:33 PM
Groovy dolly-cart van for sale - $4500 (Mar Vista)
Date: 2010-02-22, 7:35PM PST
Reply to: sale-eeuhg-1613542814@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I bought this bad boy baby at a bakesale outside of Wolverhampton about 3 years ago. The Freighter van is a real pantie dropper. She's a '74, originally from Texas.
I don't know what a '74 Freighter looks like, but the van in the pic is a Ford Econoline of the body type made from 1961 to 1967.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/mcy/1614358968.html (http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/mcy/1614358968.html)
but it's Harley orange at least. that alone is worth the price. [drink]
norfolk craigslist > personals > rants & raves
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
To the lawyer representing my wife
Date: 2010-02-24, 11:33PM EST
Reply To This Post
February 24, 2010
Dear Ms. Jones,
I have received your letter informing me of my mother-in-law's wishes. Oops, I mean my wife's wishes. I do not know what kind of investigation you have conducted and information you received or from who, but it is all likely a bunch of lies generated from my mother-in-law, AKA The pregnant dog. It would not be inconvenient to go court for me. I only live a few miles from the courthouse and will likely be unemployed from all the stress this is causing me. Also, I am not concerned about the expense of the case. My wife is paying for my lawyer with the credit card she forgot to remove me from as an authorized user. Could you thank her for that since she does not want to talk to me? While we are on the subject of that credit card, thank her for the new Glock 23 .40 handgun with the tricked out laser sights she bought me for my birthday. It was Sunday in case you were wondering. I would not be embarrassed one bit to tell all of our business in court. Matter of fact, I think it would be really entertaining. To prove how open I am, I want to share a secret with you. When I got your letter I checked out your firms website. You are smoking hot! I could not help myself. I watched your video and masturbated. It was awesome! Maybe when all this is over we can get together for the real thing. I was really getting tired of stroking it to the nude photos my wife and I took when we were first married.
Well let us get to the list of items my wife wants from the house.
Her Cat. She can have him. He is really starting to smell. I think he is sick though. He has not moved in a couple of days. My wife has not been here to feed him. I think he might be hungry. My cat has been trying to play with him but he does not respond. Stupid cat.
Kitchen. There really is not much left. You see I do not do dishes, that was my wife's duty. I have been just throwing the plates and glasses and such away.
Master Bathroom. She can have the items under her vanity except the lotion. I need this for masturbating while thinking about you. Does she really want the toothbrush holder? I bet The pregnant dog put her up to that one. The green towels The pregnant dog gave her are not totally green anymore. You see, I don't know how to wash clothes and put bleach in the washer while trying to get the ejaculate off of them when I was done masturbating while thinking about you.
Half Bath. She wants everything? Well that does make since I guess. Her cat likes to shit in the sink in there. Tell you what, she can have the cat shit sink and I'll keep the toilet. Are you thinking about having sex with me?
Living Room. She can have that bullshit she is requesting. I changed the wedding pictures for the nude photos mentioned earlier.
Dining Room. She can have everything provided she buys me a new table. I don't eat on the floor. I do make the beast with two backs on the floor, you in?
Master Bedroom. She gets to keep everything in the dining room, I keep the master bedroom items. That's where the magic happens! What jewelry are you referring to? It must have been stolen the night she left. She didn't lock the door or turn the alarm on. I do have a cockring. Want to see it?
Office. She wants the $5 world globe. WTF? I was going to sell it to get a footlong sub from Subway. What's your favorite kind?
Attic. She can have the Christmas tree and decorations. I am an Atheist. I don't like that ghost story bullshit anyway.
Hopefully this will help in your efforts to screw me over. Let me know if you want to make the beast with two backs. Thanks.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1616816667
I just found a good one on adv .. . .
(http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/6494/radmax.gif)
Quote from: alfisti on February 26, 2010, 06:43:43 AM
norfolk craigslist > personals > rants & raves
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
To the lawyer representing my wife
Date: 2010-02-24, 11:33PM EST
Reply To This Post
February 24, 2010
Dear Ms. Jones,
I have received your letter informing me of my mother-in-law's wishes. Oops, I mean my wife's wishes. I do not know what kind of investigation you have conducted and information you received or from who, but it is all likely a bunch of lies generated from my mother-in-law, AKA The pregnant dog. It would not be inconvenient to go court for me. I only live a few miles from the courthouse and will likely be unemployed from all the stress this is causing me. Also, I am not concerned about the expense of the case. My wife is paying for my lawyer with the credit card she forgot to remove me from as an authorized user. Could you thank her for that since she does not want to talk to me? While we are on the subject of that credit card, thank her for the new Glock 23 .40 handgun with the tricked out laser sights she bought me for my birthday. It was Sunday in case you were wondering. I would not be embarrassed one bit to tell all of our business in court. Matter of fact, I think it would be really entertaining. To prove how open I am, I want to share a secret with you. When I got your letter I checked out your firms website. You are smoking hot! I could not help myself. I watched your video and masturbated. It was awesome! Maybe when all this is over we can get together for the real thing. I was really getting tired of stroking it to the nude photos my wife and I took when we were first married.
Well let us get to the list of items my wife wants from the house.
Her Cat. She can have him. He is really starting to smell. I think he is sick though. He has not moved in a couple of days. My wife has not been here to feed him. I think he might be hungry. My cat has been trying to play with him but he does not respond. Stupid cat.
Kitchen. There really is not much left. You see I do not do dishes, that was my wife's duty. I have been just throwing the plates and glasses and such away.
Master Bathroom. She can have the items under her vanity except the lotion. I need this for masturbating while thinking about you. Does she really want the toothbrush holder? I bet The pregnant dog put her up to that one. The green towels The pregnant dog gave her are not totally green anymore. You see, I don't know how to wash clothes and put bleach in the washer while trying to get the ejaculate off of them when I was done masturbating while thinking about you.
Half Bath. She wants everything? Well that does make since I guess. Her cat likes to shit in the sink in there. Tell you what, she can have the cat shit sink and I'll keep the toilet. Are you thinking about having sex with me?
Living Room. She can have that bullshit she is requesting. I changed the wedding pictures for the nude photos mentioned earlier.
Dining Room. She can have everything provided she buys me a new table. I don't eat on the floor. I do make the beast with two backs on the floor, you in?
Master Bedroom. She gets to keep everything in the dining room, I keep the master bedroom items. That's where the magic happens! What jewelry are you referring to? It must have been stolen the night she left. She didn't lock the door or turn the alarm on. I do have a cockring. Want to see it?
Office. She wants the $5 world globe. WTF? I was going to sell it to get a footlong sub from Subway. What's your favorite kind?
Attic. She can have the Christmas tree and decorations. I am an Atheist. I don't like that ghost story bullshit anyway.
Hopefully this will help in your efforts to screw me over. Let me know if you want to make the beast with two backs. Thanks.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1616816667
[clap]
(http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/craigsliststolenflashdrive.jpg)
What. The. make the beast with two backs.
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1721567507.html (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1721567507.html)
I'd do a screen print, but I'm on my phone. Someone do the honors.
Quote from: minnesotamonster on May 03, 2010, 01:08:10 PM
What. The. make the beast with two backs.
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1721567507.html (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1721567507.html)
I'd do a screen print, but I'm on my phone. Someone do the honors.
Wow, run what you brung I guess. The true origins of rat rodding were just using what you had on hand. Truest form I seen I guess.
albany craigslist > personals > strictly platonic
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
PROM DATE - m4w - 18 (Troy Ny)
Date: 2010-05-06, 11:23AM EDT
Reply To This Post
Im desperate and need myself a date to the prom. Take you out for some chicken, maybe some sex...
* Location: Troy Ny
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
(http://images.craigslist.org/3n93md3lb5O05Q65T2a56ea953dd4402c1596.jpg)
PostingID: 1727327962
but he's offering a chicken dinner! [thumbsup]
Quote from: Major Moose Humper on May 06, 2010, 07:31:05 AM
but he's offering a chicken dinner! [thumbsup]
He's offering
some chicken (maybe)
Perhaps a whole dinner would be more enticing...
If anyone here has ever been to Troy,NY you would know why his inbox is most likely still empty. (besides the handsome pic)
He looks like one of those bald irradiated people who worship the nuclear missile in the old Planet of the Apes movies
Quote from: alfisti on May 06, 2010, 07:40:33 AM
He's offering some chicken (maybe)
Perhaps a whole dinner would be more enticing...
If anyone here has ever been to Troy,NY you would know why his inbox is most likely still empty. (besides the handsome pic)
Aren't you
from Troy? [evil]
Oh snap!
Quote from: ducpainter on May 06, 2010, 03:41:50 PM
Aren't you from Troy? [evil]
Near Troy.
There's a difference!
;)
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1734819362.html (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1734819362.html)
i have a 2007 cbr 600rr. that has 1500 miles on it and it has to go because i'm divorcing my pregnant dog of a wife and she is not getting any of this money or my bike. first come first dibbs
comes with icon large helmet and icon xl jacket.
my name is phil 612-369-0723
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
albany craigslist > personals > casual encounters
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
Help Me! - 18 (Capital District)
Date: 2010-06-09, 9:21PM EDT
Reply To This Post
Please, somebody needs to help me! I am (barely) 18 and I am ready to burst with child. My scumbag boyfriend walked out when he found out he had a responsibility and I was kicked out of my house. I have carried to full term and now and ready to deliver. The pains have already begun (mild, but there). I need someone there, anyone, to hold my hand and get me through this. I will not be able to do it alone. I need someone there to wipe the sweat from my brow as I grunt, and strain and push (and probably scream) trying to expel this HUGE baby (8+pounds!) I am 5'4" 110lbs normally, so trying to squeeze such a large child out of my tiny body won't be easy. I do not have medical insurance so I am going to have to deliver this on my own, no hospital will take me. That is okay, I don't want to risk my baby being messed up by the drugs. I am petrified to push this thing out by myself. PLEASE PLEASE HELP! I will give you anything you need in return! I am going to have to have this in a hotel or maybe in my trailer or if you want I can squat in a back alley or the woods I just need someone to hold my hand and coach me through it. Please don't make me labor alone!
Put OBGYN in the subject line so I know you are my savior! I will give you address as to where to find me from there.
* Location: Capital District
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
(http://images.craigslist.org/3k23ob3pf5Q05T05P4a692390f0d89d5c1061.jpg)
PostingID: 1784171811
I call bullshit on this one
Why the hell would someone post that shit on craigslist?? Am I the only one that wonders that?? [bang]
Pay attention to the spelling and the case of PBR ~
Honda XLR 600. I got this in November and have been rebuilding it sense. Rebuilt motor from local mechanic. Kick start everytime. This is one of the early desart runners honda put out. Its street legal but more of a dirt bike then a KLR. It holds up on the Hwy with plenty of power and lots of tork. Great commuter bike arround the town its getting about 60mpg. Parts are cheep and I know a great mechanic who knows these bikes well. Im asking 2000 for the bike with the Med helmet, the Joe rocket Ballistics jacket, and a set of dual sport tires. Shit I will even throw in my matching messanger bag and a case of PBR. (not shown) Work is short so reasonable offers will be considered.
thanks for looking
JM
http://wichita.craigslist.org/adg/1820889611.html (http://wichita.craigslist.org/adg/1820889611.html)
Housekeeper (East Wichita)
I need to hire one girl to help keep my small home clean in the nude, topless, or in lingerie. Preference goes to girls ready to work nude. Redheads are a plus! I need to hire someone as soon as possible, so please email now. All ages may apply. If you're not 18 yet, you won't work nude.
When you email, include your age, name, at least two recent pictures, pay desired, and a description of yourself and if you have any previous work experience. The hours will be part time-full time, paid cash.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/1593048210.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/den/1593048210.html)
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/cto/1919231790.html (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/cto/1919231790.html)
Quote
i sellin my z-71 5000 obo u need to see has real bullet holes was in high speed chase with the cops they won but truck still looks cool. runs great everything works if u have questions
text or call me at...............612 850 8339
i will not take any trades cash only.........................it has 174000 miles kbb says 6000 in fair condition its fully loaded.
Looking through the "Lessons" section of Craigslist for guitar lessons for the kid. Right between singing lessons and Spanish lessons was the following...
Quote
DO YOU NEED SEX LESSONS (PDX)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-08-24, 9:55PM PDT
Reply to: serv-crfrs-1917803474@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
42 year old mature bbw willing to teach the average man the art of oral on a woman or a man. many other techniques available as well, we work on a donation basis with a $40/one hour minimum.
•Location: PDX
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Quote from: ryandalling on August 30, 2010, 02:01:18 PM
Looking through the "Lessons" section of Craigslist for guitar lessons for the kid. Right between singing lessons and Spanish lessons was the following...
That ad seems taylor made for your avatar.
Quote from: NorDog on August 30, 2010, 02:07:43 PM
That ad seems taylor made for your avatar.
I never really thought of that avatar as a 42 year old mature bbw. [laugh] I may have to change the picture now.
Quote from: ryandalling on August 30, 2010, 02:14:35 PM
I never really thought of that avatar as a 42 year old mature bbw. [laugh] I may have to change the picture now.
I'm embarrassed to say I don't even know what a "bbw" is, and I am afraid to ask.
Quote from: NorDog on August 30, 2010, 02:18:20 PM
I'm embarrassed to say I don't even know what a "bbw" is, and I am afraid to ask.
Fat girl.
Here's a good one ladies...
albany craigslist > personals > men seeking women
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
Set for life - 27 (Wilton, Ny)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-10-10, 5:22PM EDT
Reply To This Post
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Male Model/Actor seeking partner to procreate/ possible marrige in order to recieve billion dollar inheritance for more information send photo and addtitional information sounds to good to be true but not a scam whatsoever
•Location: Wilton, Ny •it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1999178487
Did you put a wig on and send a picture?
A billion dollars. . .
I'd consider it [laugh]
NSFW
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wan/2023666580.html (http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wan/2023666580.html)
Wow, can I have my click back on that one! [thumbsdown] [laugh]
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Ducati-Monster-NO-RESERVE-Priced-SELL-Very-Rare-1995-Customized-Ducati-Monster-_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem2c58332060QQitemZ190458306656QQptZUSQ5fmotorcycles (http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Ducati-Monster-NO-RESERVE-Priced-SELL-Very-Rare-1995-Customized-Ducati-Monster-_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem2c58332060QQitemZ190458306656QQptZUSQ5fmotorcycles)
:-X
?
Am I missing something? The guy oversells it, but for two grand it doesn't look too bad.
that may be the cleanest ugly ducati i've seen.
Cheapest ducati on the lot [laugh]
http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/mcy/2068074470.html (http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/mcy/2068074470.html)
Quote from: muskrat on November 18, 2010, 08:17:13 PM
Cheapest ducati on the lot [laugh]
http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/mcy/2068074470.html (http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/mcy/2068074470.html)
It's the new Daivel!
...burn!
Quote from: CDawg on November 19, 2010, 05:41:19 AM
It's the new Daivel!
aw c'mon... its not THAT ugly.
For the price I dont mind the ol' Hyosung - actually prefer the look of them over their SV650 brethren.
Maybe not the "best of"....
More of a "craigslist crackhead" posting, but since we have no category that i could find, i give you the overpriced monster:
http://fargo.craigslist.org/mcy/2227425234.html (http://fargo.craigslist.org/mcy/2227425234.html)
Well, he's sure optimistic. [roll]
911** Chevy van stolen from storage shed! REALLY PISSED!
Date: 2010-09-21, 9:52AM PDT
1986 Chevy conversion van stolen from my shed in Springfield on Sunday.
DESCRIPTION: dark grey color, side and back rear windows covered in silver duck tape, and sprayed
over with black spray paint.
**I was planning on turning it into bus for my church, that's why the windows look like that.
people know me would back me up on that so I'm not worried about it.
VERY PERSONAL private, personal items inside
1- two sets of police-style handcuffs... very valuable. steel locks. I have the key ,so you can't use them anyway, I would really love to have these back for sentimentel reasons.
2- There might also be some old magazines too maybe, but they aren't mine.
My neighbor asked me to store them inside of my van so his wife wouldn'tcatch him looking at them, they are not mine, but I would like them back so he doesn't get in any kind of trouble for looking at that sort of thing. We all sin, but god knows our heart! (corinthians 5-17)
**There is some home-made like VCR tapes too that aren't mine. believe me, I go to church all the time, and people who know me will tell you that I would NEVER look at stuff like that,
but it would be real nice if I could just return them to their rightful owner so people don't think I look
at crap like that. God knows that I don't and that's what's important.
Please let me know if you have seen this vehicle!! This really hurt my plans for the weekend
any information would be appreciated! God Bless!
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/eug/1965721396.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/eug/1965721396.html)
lol, prevert!!! the old im just storing them for a buddy line.
"this really hurt my plans for the weekend"
[laugh]
Yeah, now hes gonna have to get a new "free candy" stencil and more krylon for the spare van.
your never gonna believe what i found in this shitty van i stole....
i wouldn't be surprised if the headlines read.."craigslist ad leads to snuff film ring bust"
Lol
Work friend of mine sent me this one.... She asked if I thought she should date the dude... I said hell no.
http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/2542100095.html (http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/2542100095.html)
Quote from: ryandalling on August 11, 2011, 03:29:17 PM
Work friend of mine sent me this one.... She asked if I thought she should date the dude... I said hell no.
http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/2542100095.html (http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/2542100095.html)
[roll]
Good luck with that. You'll need it.
BTW, he has one of three Milles in Arizona, but he lives in Oregon?
the "epitome of handymen" sounds like the epitome of douchbags
"I ALSO HAVE A HUGE FETISH FOR DOUBLE PENETRATION OR 'DP' for short. That being said, if you're not really into DP or kinky sex, I assure that I am not the guy for you." :o
Hmm, he sounded so promising.... For the record, doesn't DP require another guy to be involved in the action?
Quote from: OneWheelDrive on August 11, 2011, 04:44:06 PM
"I ALSO HAVE A HUGE FETISH FOR DOUBLE PENETRATION OR 'DP' for short. That being said, if you're not really into DP or kinky sex, I assure that I am not the guy for you." :o
Hmm, he sounded so promising.... For the record, doesn't DP require another guy to be involved in the action?
unless he's so badass that he's already packing a pair on his own
Quote from: ryandalling on August 11, 2011, 03:29:17 PM
Work friend of mine sent me this one.... She asked if I thought she should date the dude... I said hell no.
http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/2542100095.html (http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/m4w/2542100095.html)
Wow.
Quote from: lethe on August 11, 2011, 04:49:09 PM
unless he's so badass that he's already packing a pair on his own
Swiss Army Wang
[laugh]
That's gotta be his buddies (guys only!) pranking him.
[laugh]
riDONKulous
Quote from: krolik on August 11, 2011, 04:21:13 PM
BTW, he has one of three Milles in Arizona, but he lives in Oregon?
Yeah, I was confused by that too.
Quote from: zarn02 on August 11, 2011, 05:10:34 PM
Wow.
Wow is right. :P [bang] A book could be written about what's wrong with that guy. Could someone actually write that about themselves and be serious? And then expect folks to seriously respond? It's not like Craigslist needs any more bad press.
[laugh]
If this is a prank I'd love to be in the room when it's revealed to the idiot. Masterful prank indeed.
Quote from: muskrat on August 12, 2011, 07:44:04 AM
[laugh]
If this is a prank I'd love to be in the room when it's revealed to the idiot. Masterful prank indeed.
+1
Well played, if legit. [clap]
I'd be chasing my friends down the street with a meat cleaver if they pulled a stunt like that! Of course I'd be laughing my ass off with them later over a few beers.... and planning my revenge! [evil] [laugh]
Maybe he's the one that likes the DP? :o
As in the receiver?
He forgot to include his penchant for playing tummy sticks.
don't go to bed mad, stay up late and plot your revenge. someone reply to him and see if this shit's legit. I'd love a thread that's all about craigslist replies. we'd laugh for days.
http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/sha/2553079532.html (http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/sha/2553079532.html)
you know you want to let him stay with you...
I stopped reading after the 75th "make the beast with two backs". It was starting to scare me a little. I don't trust the dude. No matter what he says I think he will make the beast with two backs with my shit if I leave it out. [laugh]
Quote from: jc.cyberdemon on August 20, 2011, 06:24:56 AM
http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/sha/2553079532.html (http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/sha/2553079532.html)
you know you want to let him stay with you...
[laugh] [clap]
Quote from: jc.cyberdemon on August 20, 2011, 06:24:56 AM
http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/sha/2553079532.html (http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/sha/2553079532.html)
you know you want to let him stay with you...
So is he moving to Boston?
Or San Fran?: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sha/2549849730.html (http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sha/2549849730.html)
"Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE make the beast with two backs YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James make the beast with two backsing Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!"
That is priceless
That tool actually wrote:
"...probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky..."
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
RE-POSTED FOR POSTERITY...
$1000 Best. Roomate. Ever.
Date: 2011-08-18, 10:01AM EDT
Reply to: hous-brpq3-2553079532@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Konichiwa pregnant doges. Are you looking for the most kick-ass make the beast with two backsing roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You make the beast with two backsing found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies like AOL and FORBES make the beast with two backsING MAGAZINE. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in Boston, and I have no make the beast with two backsing clue where to live. My new office is located in Cambridge, so I guess I want something in that area. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh make the beast with two backs I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. make the beast with two backs it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's make the beast with two backsing FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your make the beast with two backsing socks off.
I also read a lot. I make the beast with two backsing LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesday's with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. make the beast with two backsing smart. Do you like movies? I make the beast with two backsing love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!
Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE make the beast with two backs YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James make the beast with two backsing Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!
A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I make the beast with two backsING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty make the beast with two backsing cool right?
I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to Boston in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you shit already!
Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your make the beast with two backsing mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
Dude needs to be abducted by space aliens and anally probed. Just sayin' ;D
Hey, as long as they give him a place to crash, he'll be fine.
That guy rocks! (and is probably bipolar) ;)
Quote from: swampduc on August 20, 2011, 08:24:46 PM
That guy rocks! (and is probably bipolar) ;)
A theory supported by his decision to simultaneously move to Boston and San Francisco.
Looks like Kenny Powers needs a place to crash in Cambridge. [laugh]
I invited him to move in with us because he is so awesome.
Did he say "make the beast with two backs YEAH!!" when you asked him? [laugh]
What they guy is not allowed to tell anyone is that he is going to be living in a number of cities around the world because he has been accepted by...
Team America: World Police
make the beast with two backs YEAH!
Quote from: fastwin on August 21, 2011, 01:09:04 PM
Did he say "make the beast with two backs YEAH!!" when you asked him? [laugh]
No because I stipulated that we don't use the F word around here so he said "Right On Man!"
Looks like DanTheMan is in the market to move to Boston. Or San Fran.
Sounds like something he'd say... ;D
[bacon]
From our very own BP:
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html (http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html)
[clap]
Remember to vote "Best of CL" on the ad page!
Quote from: Rev. Millertime on August 25, 2011, 03:45:53 PM
From our very own BP:
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html (http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html)
[clap]
Remember to vote "Best of CL" on the ad page!
[clap]
Best of, indeed [thumbsup]
Especially given the ludicrousness of typical Bakersfield CL ads
Quote from: Rev. Millertime on August 25, 2011, 03:45:53 PM
From our very own BP:
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html (http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html)
[clap]
Remember to vote "Best of CL" on the ad page!
[laugh] [clap]
Fan-make the beast with two backsin'-tastic. [thumbsup]
Quoted, lest we forget. :)
You can't have it.
Your wife won't let you.
Your girlfriend says it's unsafe. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Knock ...knock.....
"who is it?"
"We're men.... and we're here to take back your mancard."
This bike is not just a bike.... it's a muse.... it's a teleportation device.... hell, it's even like a bad assed medical tool. I once rode it by some guy who was constipated, just hearing me downshift from third to second emptied his bowels. I shit you not.
Hear that noise? That's not a dry clutch...that's a chick whistle. I'm tell'n ya...those Italians got that chick shit down. I left the exhaust stock because my buddy Phil upgraded the exhaust on his and I saw an elderly couple bust into flames when he bliped the throttle. (I have a conscience....that and I hate the smell of burnt flesh, so I left the cans alone.) It's got some carbon fiber stuff on it too, because carbon fiber is bad ass. Chuck Norris' beard is carbon fiber. Johnny Cash's suit was carbon fiber. Neil Armstrongs left arm is carbon fiber...... and we all know how bad assed that shit is. (Lance Armstongs ball is not carbon fiber..... but his bike was)
So.... you're asking yourself..."whats it like... riding a bike/muse/teleportation/badassed medical device like this? It's f'n AWESOME! Obama/Biden stickers melt off cars.... gravity dissapears around hot chicks undies....puppies weep..... people pay to be your facebook friend..... the Mericopa police dept. pulls you over just to get your autograph and thanks you having graced their tiny town with coolness the likes they've never seen.
If you're thinking about buy'n a Harley and have bought into that whole "chicks dig cruisers" thing....ask yourself .... when was the last time you saw Dan Haggerty get'n laid... hell... when was the last time you saw Dan period? The dude lived with a bear. Bears are cool and all..... but I'd rather be bang'n Keira Knightley than some bear. (google Keira Knightley Ducati.... you'll see what I mean)
What do you need to purchase the afore mentioned coolness?
Balls...
A valid state class M license....
Money.... 10k obo
And.... a willingness to step outside the "me too bike" box.
(you might also want to bring towels..... as the ladies tend to moisten up around the bike)
[clap]
Joel, Well played sir. Well played indeed.
Quote from: Rev. Millertime on August 25, 2011, 03:45:53 PM
From our very own BP:
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html (http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/mcy/2565356945.html)
[clap]
Remember to vote "Best of CL" on the ad page!
now THAT'S how you sell a bike!! i've forwarded it to a bunch of my non-motorcycle riding friends & theyve all said if they had 10k theyd buy it based on the ad alone. lol!! [clap]
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/sys/2690806742.html (http://raleigh.craigslist.org/sys/2690806742.html)
[laugh]
Quote from: Rameses on November 07, 2011, 05:23:13 PM
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/sys/2690806742.html (http://raleigh.craigslist.org/sys/2690806742.html)
the picture is definately what sells it.
Quote from: King Tut on November 08, 2011, 07:34:03 AM
the picture is definately what sells it.
Oh absolutely.
Amazingly enough, I haven't gotten a single email on it yet. [laugh]
Quote from: Rameses on November 08, 2011, 03:32:13 PM
Oh absolutely.
Amazingly enough, I haven't gotten a single email on it yet. [laugh]
how did i know that was your ad...lol
Quote from: King Tut on November 08, 2011, 04:16:38 PM
how did i know that was your ad...lol
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
I figured that went without saying.
I scooped up this image so it wouldn't get lost from this CL ad
http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/2977737272.html (http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/2977737272.html)
(http://yuu.smugmug.com/photos/i-nptmjVX/0/O/i-nptmjVX.jpg)
[laugh]
that is awesome!
[laugh]
Best car ad ever.
[laugh]
I love all the little "omg's" on each of the photos. [laugh]
Not to mention the unicorn.
Having the unicorn listed as a reason to buy the car is what makes it for me.
And the obviously true quote from every woman since the dawn of 1995. Fantastic.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/mcy/3252791748.html (http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/mcy/3252791748.html)
comes with bullet holes!
Interesting selling point...
Quote from: He Man on September 11, 2012, 06:53:50 AM
http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/mcy/3252791748.html (http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/mcy/3252791748.html)
comes with bullet holes!
Ugh, a chromo tank with bullet holes, and he replaces it with a black tank instead of having insurance pay for a new chromo ??? [bang]
Also, the tires have 50% of their thread
:D
I see he's got some of them there fancy cityfied ridin shoes. ;D
I think I'll take two at that price. :-\ :-\ :-\
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/mcy/3316151442.html (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/mcy/3316151442.html)
Hey I'm out of here. gotta go do something else...
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/5171838338.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/5171838338.html)
Our Intentional Community is Looking for Members!
Wysdym Yrth is a deliberately-founded, intentionally-minded, socially-radical, sustainably-karmic community with two (2!) currently available rooms.
The rooms:
Both are single occupancy only (sorry!) The attic boasts an intact floor, roofing on two sides, and southfacing glassless windows for $700 a month. The studio is a cozy 5 X 3 space located beneath the attic stairs for $400 a month. We also have a 1974 Chevy Nova parked in the garden, the trunk of which will be available for sublease in June. Utilities run $20-$30 a month.
The home:
Our home is a three story Victorian with five bedrooms, two baths, kitchen, dining room, common area, garden, and dungeon. We have water, electricity, gas, wifi, and the just comfort of the righteous. What we DON'T have at Wysdym Yrth is a television, radio, microwave, doors, or passive aggressive communication, vis-a-vis "notes." Any household disagreement must be first first submitted via email to the house mediator to be put on the docket for regularly scheduled mediation, the last Tuesday of the month, excluding August.
Our intentional community is fragrance free. We do not allow scented candles, oils, detergents, soaps, lotions, perfumes, deodorants, shampoos, gels, lubricants, or foods.
Our household does not support products which have been tested.
We doubt that our home would be a good fit for those who indulge in occasional recreational use of hard drugs, prescription pharmaceuticals, alcohol, aspirin, or bread.
We do not promote ableism, consumerism, negativism, positivism, homophonia, slut shaming, or sham slutting. We are a diverse and inclusive house. We love all people who share our values, and gladly accept any who can prove themselves against our arbitrary yet unforgiving standards.
We love animal companions! Though due to a landlord agreement cannot allow any more into our home (sorry!) Our house currently hosts two of our earth-relatives. Daryl is an easygoing barrel cactus, needing only an occasional watering. Gaia is an 8 foot long monitor lizard who enjoys sunshine, fresh air, and ambush, though now that she has laid eggs in the trunk of the Nova, stays primarily outside.
All individuals brought into Wysdym Yrth are expected to participate in house chores, including but not limited to cooking, weeding, house laundry, watering, sweeping, and whipping.
We often host spontaneous get-togethers, art parties, fire dances, political rallies, knife fights, and other spirited challenges to outdated social mores like "decency," "restraint," or "public safety."
You need not attend every household event, but must be okay with the possibility that at any day, at any hour, in any room, including yours, any of the above could happen. Attendance is only casually mandatory - though absence may go severley punished! :)
About us:
- Lana is a female-bodied atmospherist.
- Trudeau is a male-bodied, gender-fluid, film-making radical snacktivist.
- Robyn is a female-bodied former navy seal, escaped inmate of a Soviet prison camp, and corporate headhunter with the taxidermy to prove it.
- RÅ« does not believe in labels, pronouns, adverbs, or prepositions.
Altogether we form a low-frills, laid-back community bound together by a rigorous and legally binding blood oath.
About you:
Applicants should be easygoing individuals. We're not looking for someone exactly like us, just someone we can like - shall we say a fellow conspirator? - who also knows how to cook, juice, render a steer into soap, non-lethally restrain a monitor lizard, and who has a strict attention to cleanliness, a spartan daily regimen, contempt for dissent, and less than 4% body fat. S/He should be prepared to have a quarter bounced off them at any moment. We will be testing.
A degrees is not necessary. The school of life is enough. A complete list of all your friends, with contact information, beginning from earliest memory, is, however, non-negotiable. Applicants who can count more than five close acquaintances are discouraged from applying, as prolonged absence may raise suspicion.
Selection Process:
We believe in a consensual household. If selected, at the end of your trial first week in our home, we will hold a house meeting to discuss extending your stay for a second week. If, by sundown, we cannot reach consensus, then we will respectfully ask you to continue your search for housing elsewhere. As a thank you for your trial stay we will provide a farewell gift of mineral water, dried fruit, moccasins, hasp knife and three hours head start. Any rejected applicants who remain longer than 3 hours will be hunted, as will those who leave during the allotted time.
Sound good? Please respond to this ad with a detailed message about yourself, including name, social security number, blood type, five letters of recommendation, and a description how Wysdym Yrth fits into your 75 year plan. If we are interested in pursuing your application we will contact you with details for our upcoming open house and to schedule an intensive 4 day break-down interview. All invitees are encouraged to come wearing form-fitting clothing, comfortable trail runners, and contact info for next-of-kin.
Can't wait to meet you! :)
These guys save money as well.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/5208140264.html (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/5208140264.html)
Weekly paid third spot in tent, Golden Gate Park
$50/week for third spot in tent, now through end of November trial period, Golden Gate Park.
About us: Two working males, one works day shift in service industry, other works night shifts in tech, both of us work part time as paid yelp reviewers for some extra spending money, so yea, we're both career oriented you could say. Looking for a third tent mate who is equally driven to help keep us mentally sharp.
About the tent: Second generation, made for two people but one of us is relatively small and both of us stay fairly still while asleep so should be enough space for your liking, we measured and you should have about 3'x5' (~15sf) to do what you please with. Tent moves location throughout the week to keep fresh. Nearby cafe's usually for use of wifi. Usually short walk to public transport.
You might be thinking to yourself, "Hey, if your tent is set up in a park, then you guys aren't even paying weekly, why should I? Why don't I just buy a tent and not pay you? Don't you just want another friend to chill with while each other are at work? What am I getting out of this?"
Our answer, "Yes, Yes, Yes."
Sure we might not be paying for our rental location, but fairness is in the details.
What will your $50 be getting you?
*24/7 on site security provided by us.
*Guaranteed life lessons, at least 2 per week.
*Community atmosphere.
*Networking opportunities.
*Again, cannot be stressed enough, we will be able to protect you most likely.
Required qualities we're looking for:
*Toughness
*Good credit score
*Heart of a champion
*Generally a good heart
*Drama free
*Someone who won't bring the party home
*Respect boundaries and personal space
If interested, contact us by email. Only serious inquiries please. In response, provide a brief bio and why you think you would be a good fit. First and last week plus one weeks worth of tent deposit will be expected up front. Applicants must provide credit check, proof of income, and previous landlord or tentlord references.
:-X
There were three in the tent and the little one said roll over, roll over!
Yeah but...the weather is nice.
And....we have happy cows.
Tentlord?
Quote from: Speeddog on November 04, 2015, 04:16:00 PM
Tentlord?
No no, I sold all my rental property. I'm past tents.
Quote from: Satellite smithy on November 04, 2015, 07:11:12 PM
No no, I sold all my rental property. I'm past tents.
cue rimshot...
http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html (http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html)
Here is the text:
"2001 Dodge Viper For Sale $30k
Okay. Full disclosure. I almost killed myself in it.
It is VERY powerful. Extremely, EXTREMELY fast.
I've driven Ferrari's that don't feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.
That's right. It's in my garage and I'm afraid to drive it because it's like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.
I've done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights.
I cannot truly explain it's power. It has whiplash acceleration in 3rd gear at 60mph. That sentence doesn't even make sense. But it's true.
That's why I'm telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? CAN YOU?!
Because it's like owning your own demon. A demon that only wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It's like that, except the Viper doesn't bother to ever pretend it doesn't want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.
Some brilliant engineer designed a beautiful sexy bulging body, fantastic suspension, great handling, aerodynamics, and all American style. While he was out on his lunch break, some demented maniac dropped 100 times more engine power than necessary into it and sent it out the door. It's mentally and psychologically unbalanced. It is a Decepticon.
Look,
If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you.
The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
"You got this".
"Open me up and ride free, you got this"
"What are you a wussy?"
"Just do it", "Do it", "you got this".
Do not do it. You don't got it. Turns out you ARE in fact a wussy. Because you don't want to die.
You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time.
You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you. You will park it and it will start its siren call again, tempting you to get into this murder machine.
"You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain't no wussy".
Repeat after me.
You
Don't
Got
This.
I suggest you go hug your wife, forget you ever read this, and go and buy a nice comfy safe Toyota Corolla. Live to be a hundred. Or you can do all the stuff on your bucket list and THEN buy a Viper.
But if you insist, for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride.
You were warned. May God have mercy on your soul.
The Viper RT/10 Roadster has a 6-speed transmission! 11400 Super low miles!
2D - Transmission: 6-Spd Manual - Engine: V10, 8.0 Liter - Mileage: 11400 - ExtColor: Black - IntColor: Cognac - Features: Air Conditioning,Power Steering,Power Windows,Tilt Wheel,AM/FM Stereo,CD (Single Disc),ABS (4-Wheel),Leather,Premium Wheels.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers"
Quote from: DarkMonster620 on June 29, 2016, 08:10:22 AM
http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html (http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html)
You gotta copy and paste. Flagged for removal...
Quote from: NAKID on June 29, 2016, 11:09:22 AM
You gotta copy and paste. Flagged for removal...
Saw it earlier. Funny.
On a related note, I just saw an article listing the Viper as one of the most dangerous cars built.
Just ick...
www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/craigslist-teeth-illegal-clay-1.3633608 (//http://)
Hmm those latex gloves sound interesting,
[coffee] [coffee]
http://albany.craigslist.org/cas/5675844036.html (http://albany.craigslist.org/cas/5675844036.html)
Wanted: Woman for a drama filled relationship - m4w (Albany)
I'm seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.
My name is Mike, I live in Albany , I'm 36 years old, fairly well educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable.
I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion -- but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party -- or if we're lucky -- both!
You should:
* be 20 to 35 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.
Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:
* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder -- or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants
If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I'm getting excited just writing them!), please don't hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.
All the best,
Mike
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
[laugh] [laugh] You can pretty much throw a rock into a crowd and hit one. ;)
Not really "The Best", but still pretty funny.
http://denver.craigslist.org/pet/5686285823.html (http://denver.craigslist.org/pet/5686285823.html)
Found Cat
(http://images.craigslist.org/00x0x_6tq1qfP31Be_600x450.jpg)
FOUND CAT! Cream color, no tags, doubt it's chipped. Very large and well fed. Can't keep it because my dog seems scared of it.
Quote from: Bick on July 21, 2016, 05:13:23 PM
Not really "The Best", but still pretty funny.
http://denver.craigslist.org/pet/5686285823.html (http://denver.craigslist.org/pet/5686285823.html)
Found Cat
(http://images.craigslist.org/00x0x_6tq1qfP31Be_600x450.jpg)
FOUND CAT! Cream color, no tags, doubt it's chipped. Very large and well fed. Can't keep it because my dog seems scared of it.
Looks like the one that had my dog.
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/5851715040.html
(https://images.craigslist.org/00p0p_gvHLegtFzjX_600x450.jpg)
https://sacramento.craigslist.org/for/d/roseville-toilet-paper-guard/7092447377.html
"Toilet Paper Guard - $50
Do you fear that someone will steal toilet paper from your cart at Target?
Are you anxious trying to keep all your toilet paper guarded while you're shopping at CostCo?
Worry no more!
$50/hr and I will walk beside you, ensuring that all of your toilet papers will be safe. Not one square of your ultra ultra soft quadruple ply Charmin can be taken from you. "