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DMF joke thread
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Topic: DMF joke thread (Read 443027 times)
Monsterlover
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1740 on:
October 11, 2016, 02:19:35 PM »
Agreed
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"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer. A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman. A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist." -Louis Nizer**
kopfjäger
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1741 on:
October 11, 2016, 02:21:15 PM »
Quote from: ducpainter on October 11, 2016, 02:17:01 PM
We need that one to be put in cartoon form so it can go in the 'Wrong Comic Thread'...
I have a better version, but it's gotta be in person.
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“Woohoohoohoo! Two personal records! For breath holding and number of sharks shot in the frickin\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
NAKID
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1742 on:
October 11, 2016, 02:30:22 PM »
Quote from: kopfjäger on October 11, 2016, 02:21:15 PM
I have a better version, but it's gotta be in person.
You have an alligator?
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kopfjäger
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1743 on:
October 11, 2016, 02:30:51 PM »
Quote from: NAKID on October 11, 2016, 02:30:22 PM
You have an alligator?
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“Woohoohoohoo! Two personal records! For breath holding and number of sharks shot in the frickin\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
ducpainter
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1744 on:
October 11, 2016, 02:47:44 PM »
Quote from: NAKID on October 11, 2016, 02:30:22 PM
You have an alligator?
...or he's a 'Toon'...
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DarkMonster620
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1745 on:
October 13, 2016, 02:49:25 PM »
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the_Journeyman
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1746 on:
October 14, 2016, 06:08:23 AM »
Quote from: ducpainter on October 11, 2016, 02:47:44 PM
...or he's a 'Toon'...
Watch out for 'Dip'
JM
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1.21GW
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1747 on:
November 08, 2016, 03:21:42 PM »
Norm Macdonald is a comic treasure. The whole interview is worth a watch, but the best joke is here:
http://youtu.be/L7K-kaelQEs?t=3m43s
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ducpainter
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1748 on:
November 08, 2016, 06:42:59 PM »
Quote from: 1.21GW on November 08, 2016, 03:21:42 PM
Norm Macdonald is a comic treasure. The whole interview is worth a watch, but the best joke is here:
http://youtu.be/L7K-kaelQEs?t=3m43s
That was funny.
I'd watch the whole piece.
Logged
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
perspective
is even more amazing than yours."
To realize the value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1749 on:
December 04, 2016, 05:29:41 AM »
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If the state had not cut funding for the mental institutions, this project could never have happened.
koko64
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1750 on:
December 04, 2016, 07:50:02 AM »
Helps to sing it.
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triangleforge
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1751 on:
December 05, 2016, 11:56:01 AM »
Took me a while, too.
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1752 on:
December 07, 2016, 08:09:27 AM »
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer you'll go....
😆
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1753 on:
December 14, 2016, 08:41:17 AM »
It was the night of my wife's birthday when our doorbell rang.
"Honey, I think you should get that," I winked.
Hurrying to the door, she opened it and found a man dressed in a tuxedo, standing beside a black limousine.
"Are you Madam Torrance?" he asked. She nodded, and he said, "I've been ordered by your husband to take you with me. No questions asked. He'll meet you at the other side."
Excitedly, she hopped into the car and he drove off.
Who knew hiring an assassin would be this smooth and painless!!..
I was sat on the edge of my bed last night, pulling off my boxers.
My wife turns to me and says "you spoil those dogs."
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If the state had not cut funding for the mental institutions, this project could never have happened.
red baron
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Re: DMF joke thread
«
Reply #1754 on:
December 21, 2016, 08:04:35 AM »
A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.
A filthy, old tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Bug off, you filthy old buzzard!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."
Logged
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations... James Madison
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