Ducati Monster Forum

I always liked this thread.

Yesterday I got the obligatory "did you ride here" walking with my helmet in hand and jacket on.

Day before, a I was talking to a guy who I park next to sometimes at work who rides a new Kawi Z1000 (msrp $8,899) and he said he wishes he could afford a Ducati (my msrp $7,995).  Granted, if you step up to the liter monster it's more, but still.

I like answers better:

Answer: "Yes. Yes its a make the beast with two backsing a Buell! Okay?! Are you happy now!?!?!"

Answer: "Yes, genius, Ducatis are made by Honda. Good eye there."

Answer: "Si senor. That IS the Mexican flag on my seat. Were you a geography major or something?"

I got some good ones when O bought my 907 back in '91. One guy had his eyes about a foot from the tank. The letters on the tank are pretty big.

"Wow, what kind of bike is that?"

Um, It's a Ducati.

"Who makes it?"

Ducati... it's a brand, not a model.

"Man, you must have had to go all the way to Japan to pick that thing up".


But on the other hand I was putting gas in it one day when a woman walked up and asked "Is that Italian?"  Why yes it is. "Yeah, it looks Italian."

I lost track of how many times I heard some guy say something along the lines of "I didn't know they still made those"...

My later bikes haven't gotten near the reaction my 907 did back then. 

One of the guys at work saw me wearing my Ducati shirt on a casual Friday and game me the the raised eyebrow and shakes head look. 

Meathead: "Do you know who makes those engines?" 
Me: "Ducati does."
Meathead: "No, Harley does."
Me: "Trust me, Ducati does."
Meathead: "I don't think so."
Me: "Trust me, Ducati does."

Tool.

guy at gas station
g:what happend?
me:why?
g:did you lay it down? the fairing is gone

 [bang] [bang]
god bless Indiana

Always fun to hear them tell you somethings wrong with your engine.. ;D

My neighbour bought a Ninja ZX-6R. 636cc I4 making something like 120HP. He's all afraid of my 620 Monster because he thinks "man, that thing's got to be a lot faster than mine"

To which I replied......."Yep"........ [laugh]

No Ducati would get the same reaction as a 907, with the possible exception of the Indiana.

is it fast?

yes.

how fast?

fast enough.

While sitting at a light on my 695, guy in a distressed kidnapper van leans out, "IS THAT A 500?"

"695."

Sees the '695' on the plasticy bit.  "NICE BIKE."

"Nice van."

I was immediately happy I'd have something to post on this thread. 

From the sounds of it you're lucky to be alive.   [laugh]

"Is that a buell?"

 ;D

Tool "who makes that?"

Me "Ducati"

Tool " who makes Ducati?"

Me "Uhmm....Ducati" [bang]

Tool "I mean who is the maaan U fact UUUR er"....speaking slowly like I am the idiot here

Me "It's Italian" :-\

Tool "Oh, ok" walks off
 

Best one I've gotten so far:

-Dumbass: Nice bike, what is it?
-Chipo: It's a monster
-D: Do you stunt it much?
-C: not really. Nothing more than maybe a wheelie...
-D: then how come you took off the fairings and put a cage on it (pointing at the trellis frame)
-C: Eeeerm that's the frame, its a naked bike (resisting the urge to laugh)
-D: What's that?
-C: (barely holding the laughter in) I've gotta go back to work...

Not really the dumbest questions but these are my faves I have had a few...the MILF telling me "nice bike" to which i responded would you like to go for a ride.  Of course she has 2 kids in the Tahoe.

Got my uncle good a few weeks back when I met a bunch of family in Pismo Beach.  The clutch is doing its best to piss off everyone in the hotel and Unk walks up as im shutting down the engine and gives Bridgette the once over (first time he had seen her).  He looks right at the clutch cover and says "damn that bike is noisy, how big is the engine? a liter"  and i said "yep and its a diesel."  He knew immeadiately i was f'n with him but it was the first time i got a shot to use that.

I also have a buddy at the office that asked me if I have ever taken her off any sweet jumps.

Neighbour - pointing at anything below the tank - when will you finish it?

Workmate - oh, so it's name actually IS Monster, just thought you described it as one.

Unattractive girl - can I go for a ride?  Me pointing at the cowl: No, sorry

But, then again some will surprise me in a good way: My mother, age 77 - I can see that the visual lines in the front are better now, with the new mirrors. (Rizoma Impulsive)  Non-biker girl passing by - that thing has got to be Italian, mmmm those Italians mmm (not asking, she just KNEW right away)

I once had a dude ask me if my bike was the new 999.  I was riding my ST2 that day...with the saddlebags on.

I always love the obligatory "Dude, your engine is f**cked....You don't hear that?!?!?!"

-in response to the open dry clutch..... ;D   I usually reply "Not too familiar w/Ducatis, huh??"

-which usually gets the reply, "Ducati or not, that's gonna be an expensive fix!!! "

 [roll]

When I went to get my old 900 inspected right after I got it.

Mech- Is that one of them bikes that doesn't have valves?

Me- What?

Mech- I heard those bikes don't have valves.

Me- You must be thinking of a Rotary engine.

Mech- No I am pretty sure it's Ducati.

Me- (thinking to myself)  [roll] Whatever just inspect the freakin thing.

At the time I didn't even know about the Desmodromic valves so when I found out later I realized what he was talking about.

No valve springs  :P

After pulling up to a gas pump...

Dumb dude, "you can ride that bike?"    [bang]

T

You should have replied; "No, I put the AutoPilot function on and it drives itself..."   [roll]

I can't tell you often I get "Ducati eh? I bet that things fast"

At first I was I tried to explain that a 2-valve, air-cooled 750 really didn't produce that much horsepower, but it was always useless. Now I just laugh.

And this is the mechanic you chose to service your bike?? [laugh] ??? [thumbsup]

I am assuming he is in california where they still do emession testing or as its called inspection.

Silly Californians.

California does no such thing.

New York and several other states do require motorcycle inspections.

Motorcycles are the one thing in California that is less regulated than other states.

I get that stupid question all the time.  I find that if you can actually cite the sections of the vehicle and traffic code that you violated they give you a weird look and back away slowly.

lol, now I need to learn those...

Getting ready to mount up at a gas station...

Idiot: "Is that your boyfriend's bike?"

I love that... just reply with "no the dmv is trying a new method of safe driving and I am beta testing for them"

When I ride the Aprilia to work: "Is that as fast as your Ducati?"
When I ride the 900SS/SP to work: "How much faster is that than your Aprilia?"

But best of all...
When I ride the VFR to work: "Dude that's a sweet Ducati!!!!"  [laugh]

Texas state inspection, they pretty much just make sure your tires aren't bald, and that your lights, and horn work. I wouldn't have let that guy put air in my tires let alone service my bike.

why not, i think you'd save some money to the alternative... or not have so many issues...  [laugh] [laugh]

I have no idea what you just said (as usual)

just take it back to the shop.

Yeah, when I am carrying around my helmet and get questions like, "You ride a motorcycle???" I've started answering, "No, I just don't feel very safe in cars these days." [cheeky]

I love that question I think everyone has been asked that at least once.

In my elevator after a ride, in full gear holding two helmets and the jacket and gloves my girlfriend wore, some dude asks me with a straight face if I have a bike. 

Last night, stopped at a light, wearing helmet and earplugs, some douche in the middle of the crosswalk after the light turned green is screaming at me over my Zards " how big is that bike -- 200ccs?  400?"  I had to ride around him to avoid holding up traffic.

The one that really surprised me was a very intelligent friend, after I rode on the expressway to his house whether it was legal to ride it on the expressway.  When I sarcasticaly asked him if he's ever seen a motorcycle on the expressway before, he said, "yeah, but I didn't think it was legal."  Then I asked, if it was illegal, how do you explain CHIPS, he said, "but that was set in California."

It will surprise you when you get a good question out of the blue.  After a ride, heading up in my elevator, a woman who looked like my mom asked me what year my Monster was, then told me how she misses her 750 that she got rid of because she didn't ride it as much as she did when she lived in AZ, asked me how I liked the Zards (by name) then said that she is thinking of getting a new Monster, but the 848 is just too tempting.

Wearing a one piece suit, waiting at a red light. Cute girl in the car to my left rolls down the window and shouts:

"Do your jammies have footies?"

Not dumb at all, but sure made me laugh.

At a Ducati dealership for my inspection sticker: "Where your [front] blinkers?"
Me: "uhmm...they are DP integrated" [pointing to the mirrors]

Is your friend Korean? They don't allow motorcycles on the freeways in Korea, or at least around Seoul anyway.

she was seriously all up ons  ;D


sort of question, sort of ducati-related comment from Gixxer McSquidly in the shop.

"hey, which do you think is the better tire? qualifiers, or pilots?"
"the pilots seem rather popular on the board, I'd probably get some of those when I need new ones"
"I think I'm going to get the qualifiers.... you wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway, you ride a ducati."

 ???

and when... ummm, I forget which brit mag it was... came out w/a tire shootout and the pilots won, guess who was salty and went out to buy another, brand new set of rubber? [laugh]

The dumbest question asked about my bike was asked by me.

I asked my mechanic "So you can finish this by April 1st, right?"

My bike is at the repair shop sitting outside on the curb next to a 1940's BMW with a sidecar and a MG32 machinegun mounted and a 999 that had been down hard with serious damage.

Old lady Tool "You all have a death wish?"

Me "No"

Old Lady Tool "your fu*kin' nuts...your gonna die"

and I'm thinkin' to myself ..."what's my mom doing outside the motorcycle repair place?"

and that's when you asked her out to dinner, right??

and not so much a question, but i always hate it when people at intersections, whether they're bums sitting on a bench, or the people in the car next to me, give me the universal sign for either "rev the piss out of it" or (more often) "do a wheelie!".  don't get me wrong, i love people appreciating the bike but there's nothing appealing about popping wheelies and being a general squid in traffic.

also +1 to people asking me "so, did you ride your bike here?" while in jacket/helmet/gloves.  i would tell people "nope, i just drive my car REALLY aggressively", but it just became unfunny at some point.

My Favorite.  Going in the Gate of FT Rucker AL.  The gaurd looks confused at my bike...

Gaurd:  Is that a DO-KAY-T?
Me:  Yes
G:  Harelys are better!
M:  You know they are both Air cooled twins?
G:  Yeah, but Harelys are 'mercian.  Who makes them DO-Kay-T's, Japan?
M:  Italy. (pointing to the "made in italy" sticker under the gas cap.
G: Hmmm, damn jap bikes.
M:  No, italy...ok...have a good day sir.

^^^ Now that's some funny shit!^^^

I got the most popular, Do you ride a few weeks ago at work.  A coworker came into my office and saw a picture of my bike on the wall and asked if I ride.  Then he asked if I ever ride to work.  I said, "yeah that's why that's here today" and pointed at my helmet that he was standing right next too. 

Can't believe someone asked me if the s2r was a Buell.  He did note that he'd never seen a ducati in person before....  Just suprised, cause he said he rode a Kawasaki.  (Guess he rides with this eyes closed.)

Ya I've had the what kind of bike is that ?
A Ducati
A what ?
Ducati
Does Harley make that?

The good old... Something sounds wrong with your Bike.

My boss would not let me leave one day because he thought the Dry Clutch noise was something wrong with my bike.

I even rode around the parking lot a few times to show him everything was okay but he did not believe me LOL

i hate getting asked to do wheelies too

There was some kid in the shop the other day.. he asked me if my bike (695) was a wheelie machine. I was like.. Ummm... no...

then he said.. I bet its fast.. I told him it was fast enough for me.. then he proceeded to tell me about his early 90's jap super something or other that went 140 MPH, for 65 miles, with the crank bearings blown out.. it would have went faster but it was getting too hot with out the bearings..

To shocked at what I just told to listen to it any longer. I said "cool man" and went back to work.  [laugh]

Nice bike, is it French?

Funny that I ran across this tonight.


I washed both bikes today (620 monster & 955 speed triple). After I dried them off I parked them at the end of the driveway so I could wash my cars.

A guy and his wife were walking and he stopped ,staring @ the Duc.

Guy - That looks good
Me - Thanks , Just bought it
Guy - I didn't know they made them so big
Me - That's a little one
Guy - Thats a good idea hun! We need to go to the satellite dealer. I might have to get one to save on gas.
Me - ( funny look on face )
Guy - Do they have any more there on Timberlake Rd.?
Me -  I think your mistaken. (pointing @ bikes) The Ducati is Italian made and the Triumph is British ! These bikes Did Not Come From The Satellite Place.
Guy - Huh  !!!! Well we have to go now. Have a nice day
Me - Bye ( confused )

Later on a buddy stopped buy and I told him about the strange encounter.

Buddy - Really?  (laughing way to hard)
Me - yes. I still can't figure out what the hell he was talking about?
Buddy - ( still laughing hard ) That's the place that sells those cheap knock off Mopeds,Pit bikes and dirt bikes! You could have saved some money and went up there and bought a bike and ebayed you some Ducati stickers!( Still laughing)
Me - shaking head

BTW - Buddy rides a Triple

Is this a normal thing for Ducs?  I have a 85 Mercury Capri that I did a total restomod on and you couldn't believe the stupid questions I get on that. Especially from the so called "Mustang Guys" thinking it's a mustang with a body kit.

Leaving work a few nights ago :

 Fire up the monster and proceed to put on gear while bike warms up.

Motor cop standing there staring at my bike..... "Nice"

Me:  "Thanks"
Motor cop ( with Big grin on face as he walks around the bike) :"Sounds like theres something wrong"
Me: " I think its a muffler bearing"....

you sure you weren't low on headlight fluid? it's a common mistake...

It's blinker fluid not headlight fluid  [roll] 

Blinker Fluid (http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=6)

sorry, that was an RvB joke... *shame*

At the scene of my last accident cop asked what type of bike as she looks at me, sitting right next to my bike, next to the tank.  The one of the fireman responds "Ducati"  She then asks, "Who makes that, Harley?" as I look at the tank then her and in unison me and the fireman respond "Ducati."

This question isn't about the bike, but the dumbest question I have ever heard.  I work on the river in CINCINNATI.  So I am walking back from the river park from lunch and a man, on foot, stops me at the intersection for Rt. 50, an east-west by-way, and asks while pointing due East, "Is that the way to West Virginia?"
"Yeah, but its the long way.  I would catch a bus."
"Well my truck broke down and my mom is in the hospital, so I am just going to walk."
"I don't think you're going to make it.  It's pretty far."

"How do you put your feet up there?"  Pointing at my frame sliders

You should have told them they were for a third person.

This is not really on topic, but it is something I found pretty cool about what people say. I was riding up from San Diego to Huntington Beach a month ago and my friend was on his FJ1200 Yamaha and I was on  my 96 M900. We pulled off an off ramp to go get some lunch. When we got down to the stop sign on the off ramp there was homeless man to our left. My friend was on my left so he was closet to the homeless man. Once we stopped, the man yelled out, "Ducati, now thats a bike". He didn't even seem to notice the Yamaha. I thought it was pretty cool. [moto] It makes you wonder if maybe back in better times he may have ridden.

 [thumbsup]

I had a McLaren - I feel your pain.

I'm confused.  West Virginia is due east from Cincinnati.  Perhaps he was pointing west?  ???  Maybe you failed geography?  ;D  ...or maybe Route 50 isn't the shortest way?

In any case, if that's the dumbest question you ever heard, then you need to get out more.  ;D

Yeah, across Ohio.  Not really an afternoon stroll.

Well, yeah not to you and me!   

Pointing to my harlequin great dane, "Isn't that kind of big for a dalmation?"

Yes, yes it is.

Blinker Fluid (http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=6)
[/quote] that is really funny

my merl dane was sticking his head out of the rear window of my wife's car while we were waiting in line at a snow cone stand when the teenagers in front of us notice him, no shit:

kid: "damn that's a big dog"(taken back)
me: "yeah, he's a big baby"
kid: "is he mixed with a tiger or something?"

I can't remember my response because I jammed up and had to reboot...

by now their voting age, I hear costa rica is amazing

Well, forest gump ran across the country and once he jumped into the Ocean for his mama.  No reason why this man couldn't do the same! [cheeky]

A little off topic.

Hard rough looking HD pulls up on my right-side on the M900 at red light. He does the look over then...

HD: "Is that one of them Dew-caty Italian bikes that KICKS-ASS on them %#$@&#^ Jap bikes?"
Me: Yeah most times.
HD then gives me the [thumbsup] and rides off.


And this one time at band camp... I mean at another red light while on the MH900e. Dude in business suit from car behind. Gets out of his car and walks up. Literally standing on my right and in my face. I'm like what the WDT? Didn't expect him there. Kind of made me jump a bit. He hands me his biz card and says."I've been following you for awhile. I LOVE this bike. If you ever sell it... call me."

I've got three....

Teaching an MSF class, a student says:
- What kind of bike do you ride
-me - a Ducati
-who makes that?
-me- Ducati
-no, who makes it? like harley?
-me- umm, no. Ducati, it's Italian.
-oh, never heard of it.   :-\

Second one, in the grocery store, wearing my MAD (Maryland Ducati group) shirt:
-excuse me, do you have a ducati?
-me- yes, I do.
-that's a motorcycle, right?
-me- yes, it is.
-my husband wants to buy one.  can you actually buy one of those?
-me- yes, you can.  Just down the road in Virginia
-oh, that's nice.  Is the harley dealer nearby?  [roll]

Third, while students are waiting for class, I overhear this:
(one man speaking to a woman while looking at my monster)
-yeah, look at all the carbon fiber
-and there's the footpegs, boy they are nice
-she- what are those things? (as she points to the frame sliders)
-that's where you rest you knees when riding!  [laugh]

I love the uneducated.  It makes life fun, and the emergency rooms full.  [laugh]

Good to see you still have your sense of humor.  Me, I'd probably be in jail if I'd have been in your shoes.

IMO, the dumbest ones are "Aren't you hot in that?" and "Aren't you cold in that?"

Me: Only when I stop.

The good news is that with Ducati's, you get a variety.  With my Triumph, it's only two:
"Wow, I didn't know they were still making those," and the classic "I used to own a bonneville".  It's become such a cliche that in Triumph circles, they have a saying "If everyone who claims they used to own a Triumph had actually bought one, Triumph would have never gone out of business."

But I had some good ones, too.

When I first moved to Las Vegas, I was up for a ride and it just so happened to be the weekend of the Laughlin bike rally.  I went to see what it was all about and, bored, just as I was leaving, a guy approached and I put on the gear.  After the usual "Triumph, huh?"  He proceeds to tell me about his days racing with Bud Ekins and Steve MacQueen, and building Salt Flats Streamliners.  Tells me how he's moved on these days, to AIRPLANE RACING and invites me to stop by his shop (somewhere by Edwards AFB)  Tells me he's still got one of his twin-engined 750 Triumphs hanging from the ceiling. 

"Why don't you wash it?"




"Because I'd rather ride it"

 [laugh]  I was asked the other day if my whippets were Irish Wolfhounds.

More than once, someone has looked at me with my gear, looked outside, and said, "It just started raining.  How on earth are you going to get home?" 8)

'nice bike, gonna get a harley?'

cannot tell you how many baseball caps ask this in parking lots.

 ??? ??? ??? ???

Yeah. I get that one also. I reply with... "My motorcycle still works in the rain"

Cincinnati is very far from West Virginia ON FOOT. Route 50 would be the fast way walking, but it becomes a moot point after a certain degree.  He asked the way to West Virginia, ON FOOT.  Its 296 miles to the first town in WV.  I wasn't questioning his sense of direction, just his sense.  I wonder if he made it?

 
I get "Are those whippets?" referring to my Italian Greyhounds.  That in its own right isn't stupid, they are kind of big for Italians.  When I tell them they are Italian Greyhounds and they ask if I am sure, is though.  "No, I got these fairly obscure dogs (at least in my neck of the woods), and have no idea what they are. I am glad you as a casual passer-by can tell me what type of dog I have."

Whippets for Wolfhounds is ridiculous.

Over heard at a bike race i was working in Wilimington

teen 1: I gotta get me a bike like that!

teen 2: You cant afford a bike like that, thats a Ducati. Those are expensive

teen 1: I'm still gonna get me one

teen 1 and 2 (to me): Nice bike Mister

Me: Thanks!

Teen 1: What's that cost? About 80 thousand?

Me: No, about 15 thousand

Teen 2: See I told you it wasnt that expensive

Teen 1: Shut up! You still cant afford it!

Last week, from a Harley rider:

Him: WTF is that sound?!?!

Me: It's a dry clutch, it's supposed to sound like that.

Him: My friend used to ride a Ducati, and his didn't sound like that!!

Me: Not all Ducatis have dry clutches, you know...

Him: That would drive me absolutely NUTS!!!

Me:  [laugh]

Outside a restaurant the other night.  This dude was saying, "Oh, that is such a beautiful bike."

"Thank you very much," I replied.  We talked a little about engine power.

Dude: "How fast does it go?"

Me: "290 miles an hour."  To which Dude doesn't blink, or laugh, just nods, clearly missing the joke.

Dude: "But tell me, does it get a lot of build-up?"

Me: "What do you mean- build-up of what?"  I was thinking, maybe he means something about the revs building up or the power building up...

Dude: "You know, with like the engine and the exhaust and everything, does it get a lot of build-up?"

Me: "I don't know how to answer that."

In hindsight he may have meant sooty build-up in the exhaust, but he sure didn't make that clear.  And since he failed to pass the "290 miles an hour" test I figured it didn't really matter.

+1

I was at a dealership that carries Ducati, BMW, and Triumph a few weeks after the release of the 999 and a guy walked in and said, "Oh sweet, this must be the new Ducat One. That's right, you each ride a Ducat1.

i realized something that we ducati owners in a way are stupid bc we answer the classic question "what type of bike is that?" WRONG...

when that question is asked we immediately respond with the "manufacturer" not the "type" or "model of the bike" so we should be answering like "monster 620, monster s4rs, 748, 999, etc".

afterall if you are riding a honda cbr 600, or a yamah r1, someone asks what bike that is you say "a cbr 600 rr, an r1". .

then the follow uyp question of "who makes that?" is actually a logical question...  ie, "ducati makes it" or "honda" or "yamaha"

see basically we are answering the first question wrong, by giving the manufacturer not hte model.

so next time someone asks what type of bike it is, give the model name, then when they ask the inevitable "who makes that? or is that japanese?" then you can answer "ducati, its an italian bike" and it won't seem so stupid the questioning.

I take it on faith that the person asking can read my fairings. Seeing as Ducati printed it nice and neat and readable.

(see first image in montage below)

I've been asked by two people if my bike had a radio in it.

Also it started to rain and someone i work with looked at me and pointed outside and asked if i was on my bike today. They were concerned that it was getting rained on and wouldn't work after it got wet.
Everyone knows bikes melt in the rain  :)

stop being so reasonable!  [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

well your bike has the manufacturer and the model number on it,.. but as you know most people with monsters replace the side pods thus no more "model number" markings are on the bike, ie, monster 620, monster s2r 800, monster s4r, monster s4rs and those are all convenienctly placed on the side pods so that when you are on the bike they are covered by your leg.

besides you should know that just because your bike may have on its side in really large letters/numbers "DUCATI ST4S, OR DUCATI 999S"   someone will always ask, "hey what model is that bike?".. ie, ST4s... "hey who makes that?"... ie, DUCATI.. "that's japanese right, like a yamaha?".. ie.. its italian.. "yeah like a suzuki right?"   ie. uuhhh, yeah you got that right, then ride away.

Went to dinner and had my key on the table.  The guy at the table next to me said "excuse me.  what kind of key is that" and I replied "it's to my Ducati".  Maybe he was interested in more than the bike and just wanted to talk but he came back with "do your really ride one or do you just have a key"?   ??

I had my bike for 3 days when a guy at a gas station saw me with my helmet and asks "What the hell kind of bike do you ride?" ... he was obviously intoxicated... I said it's the black one back there, to which he ran, literally ran outside, and I was right on his heels to see what he was doing.  He looked at it and goes "Ducati? Is it fast?"  I said "Yeah...faster than I can run"  He then told me "Do you know how easy I could have stolen this?"  I replied "I don't know, but you wouldn't have gotten far, you drunk."  He tried to start some trouble with me and I laughed so hard... I don't go to that gas station anymore subsequently.

...we hope.

 ;)

Had a Numb nut the other day at work, My S2R 800 sits just outside the Main entrance of the Store, about 20 feet from Where I work, Numb nut stops, looks, wanders around for a while, comes inside and ask's me who owns the Bike.

Me: thats mine.
NN: Wow, Very nice, What Size Engine
Me: 800
NN: Can't be, Ducati don't make an 800
Me: It's an 800, that's it model number
NN: No, Model number can mean anything, You must be wrong, Ducati have never made an 800.
ME: It is, It's registered and Insured as an 800, It says 800 in the Brochure, the Manual and the Compliance plate.
NN: No, Ducati never made an 800 (Gives me a very Stern look)
ME: it is an 800, your wrong, Besides Casey Stoners MotoGP bike is an 800, Ducati made the 800 Supersport.
NN: (Loudly) You are wrong!! Your just being a smart ass!!
Me: And you Sir, are an Oxygen thieving make the beast with two backswit. (Said with a smile)

Scary part is, This Guys works for a large Motorbike Dealership about 4 doors down from our store,
He's one of the spare parts guys (Thankfully they don't deal with Ducati)

That little blinking light would have given you some problems first, haus.
Followed by, "Do you know how easily I can bust out your teeth?"  Then slam in the face with the bike helmet.  Thieving isn't funny.

Yesterday, at work, a co-worker says to me as I'm getting ready to leave:

-That's yours?!?!

me: "yeah"

him: "Looks like fun! Are you gonna put leather saddlebags on it??" 

me:  ummmmm................................................no.

"Why can't I wear yours?"

The first question everyone says after I turn them down for a ride due to a lack of a second helmet.

My favorite that i always get with the 1098, which im sure most sport bikes get is this

Guy to the right of me while stopped at a light.  He rolls down his window to tell me "Hey your headlight is out!"  Referring to the fact that the low beam is only one light.  I get this on a regular basis and got into an argument at a gas station with some guy in a mustang that it was supposed to be like that.

I usually respond with no its supposed to be like that and flick the high beams a bit.  I need a wittier comment. [bang]

How about  "looks like your high beams are burnt out as well  [roll]"

Don't forget the eye roll that holds it all together.

What kind of bike do you ride? A ducati.
Is that German?  ???

Well, the Harley guy said to me :   man that thing sounds like a bucket of bolts when you went by.

Yep,,, clutch


Yet on my BMW Boxer Cup Replika: I didn't know BMW  made motorcycles?

I was in a drug store in Port Huron Michigan yesterday.  The store was literally a two minutes drive/ride from the bridge to Ontario.  I set my helmet on the counter while I got my Visa out to pay.

clerk - "Did you ride your motorcycle from Canada?!"
me - "uhh...it's not very far away."
clerk - "Ya...but you have to go over a bridge!"

Immediately I knew I had something to post here.

I just got a really dumb question..not 2 minuets ago..

guy who paints stuff for us (mirrors, door trim, fuel lids ect) came in, said wow nice bike! 695, is that the horse power?   [clap]

I said thanks, and no, thats the engine size.  [laugh]

If someone opens the door, walk through it an lie your ass off   [laugh]

One of my friends got asked:

"Ducati -- like the rum??"

 ;D

Certified Ducati Service Engineer:

How soon do you want your bike back?




on a side note, I love how the spell checker flags Ducati...

That is your browser's spell checker, the forum doesn't have one.
http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=4818.0

I must be the exception......I only get compliments on my bikes, especially from kids. I guess they know quality when they see it ! Kids are amazing. Of course they always want me to do a wheelie !

kid (rides a 600 ss) - nice bike...ducati
me - yeh, i like it
kid - does it wheelie?
me - yeh

What made you decide to get that ?

During a fill up a while back, a guy on the opposite side of the pump looked at my bike and said, "Is that one of 'em nayked Ninja's?" (full southern slang)   ???  I said, "Uh, No".  He replied, "to bad, 'em bikes are cool."  I think my IQ dropped during that conversation.

Got another one last night at the bar (I was there to eat, I don't drink and ride). Guy asked me "Why did you buy THAT instead of a Harley?  You know what I'm saying?"  I said "No, I don't what you're saying" and laughed.  He was also wearing a leather bandanna and vest with an American flag patch on the back that said "Try burnin' this one a**hole."  The ultimate.

"Is that a motorcycle?"

"Why, yes. Yes, it is."

"I thought you had a Vespa. Isn't that a Vespa?"

"No. This is a Ducati. It's a motorcycle. The Vespa is a scooter. It's at home right now."

"So, that's a motorcycle?"

In case anyone has any questions, the person asking me has a doctorate.

In what? By post order? Most other dumb questions are dumb, but this one is just too much. I'm not even able to laugh - speechless [roll]

I love pulling up to a stop light and have people on my right stare at the spinning clutch in amazement like it's going to explode. Got a black Speedymoto 5 spoke cover and red Kurki pres.plate and red button kit. Have had two people ask me "what the hell is that thing?" while leaning out the window. Haven't come up with a good smart ass answer yet, they always catch me off guard. Any good smart ass replies to clutch inquiries out there? I need to be ready and armed next time. [thumbsup]

flux capacitor
hamster wheel
centrifuge

I've just started telling people "oh, it's the third wheel, it pops out of the engine if it senses the bike is tipping over, kind of like those mercedes head rests in the convertibles" 100% deadpan  [wine]

Adam

You should start telling them its a form of an arc reactor. You know, the same thing that powers ironman.

(http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/lens1963392_1209359362iron-man-empire-thumb.jpg)

+11tyb

Ferris Wheel. ;D

*Incredibly* dense.  It did, however, inspire the obscure art joke of the day (with apologies to Rene Magritte):

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3233/2601283392_a643ce4a71.jpg)


**Original image (before sepia effect and text) lifted from http://world-of-woody.com/?m=200606

I love that. I'm also quite confident that if I were to show the original "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" picture to the same person it would be good for hours of semi-enjoyable argument.

driving across central new hampshire and southern maine the past few days.
passing through the remnants of Laconia bike week. these where the best questions asked (not necessarily in order)

1) did you know you're missing your clutch cover?
2) your bike sounds terrible. is it almost out of gas?
3) (after seeing my oregon license plate) DUDE! did you ride all the way here just for bike week?

In the past, I've just said; "I don't know... Someone told me it's supposed to rotate, so I just ignore it"  ;D

If I had a dry clutch I would just say "don't worry, I just drained all the oil to make it lighter"

- Gateway to the Eigth Dimension?

-The Vortex? (don't get sucked in).

-Actually the clutch is stationary and the rest of the universe is spinning around it (Ducatista POV)

Margarita Mixer

Guy at work:

"Is your clutch supposed to sound like that?"

"No. It's supposed to be louder."

Two of the best compliments I've had on mine was after installing the SM clutch cover and red plate - Buddy looks at it and says "Looks like a freakin' bloody stump spinning around in there!!"  I pulled into work one day, was backing into a spot, bike still running, parking shut it off, one of the maintenance guy spokes his head out of the door and says "Man, I thought someone started up a jackhammer out here."

I actually had someone ask me once, "So, when is it going to be finished?"  "What you do mean?"  "Well, when are you going to put it all back together?"  I just said 'soon, very soon.'

Not a question, but I got slapped once for asking a chick if she "wanted to go for a ride on my monster."  ;D

You are right that question does belong here  [thumbsup]

I think you were dead on with this suspicion.  Someone has an admirer!

The best thing about a Ducati is that no one mistakes it for a Harley.  I was at a gas station filling my Goldwing, and some idiot comes out of the store and says "Nice Harley".  I gave him this  [thumbsup] and smiled.

barely applies here, but in a small town bar the other day, i had the following exchange:

"you guys don't look like harley riders"
"yeah, well, we're not riding harleys"
"well, i could tell that from your helmets!"

First time my SO's cousin saw my bike.

"Why didn't you get a Harley?"

I replied "I'm not old enough."

 [laugh]

You guys have all kinds of good stories.. no one ever talks to me ever. :( I guess I don't look very friendly.

If it makes you guys feel any better, the most common question I get about my Suzuki Bandit is "Is that a Ducati?"  I think I've only had 1 guy say "nice bandit" since I got it.

It does kind of look like one, since it's got a red frame and black fairings, but still.

So when i was going home for summer from school me and my buddy trailered my monster 620 and his 750 sport and while on the freeway we broke down and had to pull over to the side of the road.  While we're waiting for the tow truck to come this group of high school kids are walking down the side of the freeway and stop and ask us if we need any help and we so no and they continue on their way.  As they pass the trailer one of the guys turns to the rest of them and says "OH man! that sh*ts straight outta sicily!"

people always ask me if my bike is fast. i always say that my eighthundred cant get out of its own way. and that its just about as fast as my 1986 atc 200x. the reply i get is always the same.... "yeah right, howcome the speedometer goes up to 160?"  IDIOTS, i think to myself. but then i tell them, yeah your right, it goes 160 ;D let them think that i can handle a bigger bike. what do i care 8)

the ron [evil]

I hate that idea that your speedo dictates how fast you can go. Why does it go to 160 anyway?

i actually forget what the number is and i am to lazy to go to my shed to check. I think its 160 or something like that.

the ron [evil]

My 280zx speedo only goes to 85.  I don't know how fast i've gotten it, but i do know that it took about a minute to start ticking down after i took my foot off the gas.

I usually refer to that as "How fast were you going?" "I was going Neutral, almost to Reverse." Joke only works with automatic transmissions.

Don't really know about stupidest, but by far the most common question I've gotten on my Sport Classic is "What year is that?" Suppose if they were going for a retro design they hit it square on the head.

i wonder if guys in Italy ride Harleys, and other Italians ask them if they are Ducati's. How ignorant we are.

I got a GOOD one a few days ago while coming home from work......

Two fat guys on cruisers. One on a Hardly Davisdon (suzuki or something) and one on a Harley. I split the traffic and come up to the light. While waiting for the light to change, I can barely hear some talk to my right followed by "Ducati". So I look over and i get this from the fatso on the metric cruiser:

 "Is that a Ducati ?"..... I nod in the affirmative.......

.... "A real Ducati ?".......... [bang]

Unbelievable.

Not a dumb question but considering I've only had my 696 for a few weeks I got my first "cool compliment made me feel good" moment. I rode out to the local bike shop (Honda dealer) and I was just getting back on the bike and a guy pulls up in a truck and when he gets out says, "hey how you like that Ducati?" I say "love it". He says "sweet bike". I said "thanks" and pulled away. AWESOME!   [moto]

Pulled up at one of the Harley places on a Sunday afternoon....park in front and an older dude on a custom says to me, "...you know Rice Rockets should park across the street."  I replied, "I agree, but mine is a Pasta Rocket."  Smiled and kept walking to the front door - he didn't say anything and just sat on his cycle. 

I own a Harley also and this is the first and only time in the last two years I've gotten any comment like that from somone there.  Didn't seem like a regular.  Usually peeps will ask what model or know it is a Monster and say kewl bike. 

that, sir, was an awesome, and proportionate, response.   [clap]

Harley guys rock

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26134668/?GT1=43001

Sweet comments actually:

"Dude that looks like the death machine"
me-"actually i prefer not to call it the death machine, i prefer the stay alive dan machine"

About my  83 GS1100 chop project-
"That looks like something the Terminator would ride"

and of course everyone, even other riders, always comment on how fast Ducati's are.  I guess that aura is part of the reason we love and ride them.

parked beside a full dresser harley, little kid walks by and stops. "what is it dad?"  Its a motorcycle son. He points to the harley, "No thats a motorcycle dad, that thing is just crazy". 

I parked the bike in front of walmart and sat in a lounge chair out front on display just to listen to the bad comments.

Yeah.. got asked a dumb question (it actually may have some logic in it..maybe) about the GS Adventure..

"does it have reverse gear to go backwards". I was lost for words  >:(

Goldwings have a reverse gear actually maybe they confused it for that? [laugh]

Lady at the DMV: "Ducati.  Oh, that's a really nice one isn't it?  Expensive, too, aren't they?  What are they, just like under a Harley?"

"wheres the fairings?"  i love that one and always tell them "it came that way" but they never seem to believe me.

I think the appropriate response should be, "They came off on my 1st 130+ high side.  Barely a ding and still rides like a charm though"

i got asked the same question 3 times in one night from my friends... "what'd you do with the fairings?"

oh, and that same night i got this told to me twice, "dude, that clacking doesn't sound good.  you should get it checked out."

I had the ole "how fast will it go"

i said "they say 150, but eh..."

usually when people ask how fast mine goes I just say, "Faster than me"

I got that one the other night.

I said "I don't know, about 95."

The guy looked at me funny, so I said "what? It's in the back of a make the beast with two backsing pickup truck."

I always go for "Fast enough for you old man"

It wasn't a dumb question. I got a  [laugh] out of it.

    One of my Mexican compadres said about the flag on my Sargent seat.

         " If it had an eagle on it, you would have more friends." [laugh]




        (http://www.mapsofworld.com/images/world-countries-flags/mexico-flag.gif)

Finally got a dumb one!!

Guy on a KAwasaki: That's a different bike.
Me: Yes it is
Guy: What is it though..
Me: A Ducati
Guy: Is it German or something?
Me: No.. it's Italian.
GUy: No shit.. I am 100% Italian and never heard of it..
Me: Then your parents lied to you..
Guy: nice bike
Me: It is

 [laugh]

Cutest question:

7-8 year olds:  "I like your ears"
tiger ears & tail from aerostitch
me : thanlk you
Pre-pubescent girl (don't get excited krolik - she's REALLY too young for you!!!)
Were you in a gan or something this morning?
me (Lamely): No, we're just a nice group of people who like to ride.


How do you not scar the youth of tomorrow , yet not sound like a LOSER ( Where the hell is the smiley with the L' over the forehead?)

Hey! >:(

You obviously have me confused with NEIKOS. ;D

 [bacon]

How fast have you had it???

As fast as I want to hit a deer at...

a big harley guy i work with asked if my frame sliders on the 695 were highway pegs. only if you can fold like a contortionist!

I was sitting on my 620 at a gas station in the middle of nowhere with my tank bag on so you couldn't see the logo.  With in 5 minutes I had two people come up to me.

1st guy..."Is that a Ducati or a Buell?"  He was actually cool and wasn't trying to pretend he knew.

2nd guy..."Is that a 996?!"   [roll]

man im going to confuse some people with my ST tank, half a monster frame, Custom suspension and exhaust, and 999 swingarm. Im not even going to try and explain it.

This weekend - guy on a Bonneville pulls up next to me at a light:

That a Monster?
Yup
What size engine?
695
Guess my bike is faster than yours then.
Uhm... alright...

One of teh funniest things I've ever seen was Luca riding my wife's monster from the East Bay out to Sacramento. He's something like 6'4" and my wife's m620 has the lowering link and a scooped seat since she's all of 5'2". So there's Luca cruising down I-80 leaned back with his loooong arms stretched out and his legs up on the frame sliders like highway pegs.  [laugh]  Almost as funny as seeing his knees tucked up under his chin when he put his feet on the stock pegs.    [laugh]  Good times.


sac

wow is he in the circus or something?  :o ouch. but i wish you had pictures!

I hang out with the Harley guys and even some of them ask who makes it.  Considering they are somewhat educated in bikes and the fact it's a stock black tank with DUCATI on the side in contrasting silver I find it hard not to point out the stupidity of there question.

Neighbor comes over while I'm cleaning the bike, it's sitting on the rear stand...

Neighbor - I see you got a training stand
Me - a what?
Neighbor - the stand it's on, it's for training - I thought they were only for bicycles
Me - yes, that's exactly what it's for....

that one deserves a punch in the face

Truer words have never been spoken  [clap]

Is Triumph made in England?  ;D ;D

We might be the only two Bandit owners here.  I had some kid ask if my Bandit was a Duc too.   [roll]  In his defense, he was young and exiting a bar.

Red frame and black fairings...niiiiiiice. 
Mine (I just bolted up a larger capacity Earl's oil cooler with SS braided lines):
(http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d147/pompino/DSCN2105.jpg)

I know you're kidding, but the new ones are made in Thailand  :'(

Adam

Nice Bandit!!   [thumbsup]




 [cheeky]

(http://www.artisticthreadworks.com/public/images/dth636.jpg)

Let me clarify for you,
The quick check is the 11th character of the VIN "J" = Jacknell road Hinckley England or "T" = Chonburi Thailand
mine is "J" and its guaranteed my bike British coz of the accent  [thumbsup]

Dude.. what made you decide on a triumph instead of a monster? also.. how much money did you lose by jumping from a new 696 to a new triumph? :o I hope you didn't get rid of the 696 because of The Ron  [evil]

I took a hit, miss the 696. The Ron became my confidant  [evil]
All is good, I'm working on acquiring a Brutale 750.
If everything works out.

wow.. yet another hit? the brutale is in my wish list for sure... I found yours here:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Motorcycles___MV-Agusta-Brutale-S-with-only-1675-miles_W0QQitemZ230282733082QQddnZMotorcyclesQQddiZ2283QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item230282733082&_trkparms=39%3A1|65%3A10|240%3A1318&_trksid=p4506.c0.m245

In my parking deck the other day...

Guy in an older 80s sedan: Thats a cool bike!
Me with gear fully on, about to throw a leg over: Hi! Thanks!
Guy: How big is it?
Me: about 800cc
Guy: How much do you weigh?
Me: Excuse me? Ummm...about 130-135
Guy: How much horsepower?
Me: In the 80s.
Guy: Isn't that bike awful big for you?
Me: Ummm...No.

He asked a few more questions about where it was made, where the fairings were, how fast it goes. He now knows a decent amount about Ducs and where the dealership is.  [thumbsup]

Some burnout in Manhattan came up to me the other day...

Burnout: Aww! That's one of them Dacantays!
Me: Yeah, it's a Ducati.
Burnout: This bike costs 25,000 dollas! (in reference to my '06 S2R800 Dark)
Me: No, no it doesn't.
Burnout: I always know when I see a Dacantay it's of of them $25,000 motorcycles.

Must have thought I had a 1098R  [laugh]

ABOUT 4  years ago a man comes up to me while i was at an icecream stand and asks the following question:

him: Where did you get that frame for the buell engine?

me: excuse me?

him: Well, (attitude forming) Harley makes the v-twin and that is a V so who made the frame?

Me: I bought it on ebay. (i lacked the energy to pull his head out of his behind)

This was when the bike was still new to me... I noticed when I was walking back to my bike that the parking light was on the whole time I left it parked (woops). It wasn't there long but it still raised a red flag because I had no idea how this would affect my battery and getting it started etc, like I said it was new to me.

So as I am walking towards my bike a very attractive girl with what sounded to be a Mediterranean accent, possibly Itailian, she sees the helmet in my hands and says, "Is that your Ducati?" Now if you can really picture this and the accent and everything, it's almost like a cheesy pickup line at first.

Knowing that a simple question deserves a simple answer I reply as I am still walking, "yeah it is"

She replies, "your headlight is on"

I respond, "I see that" and we both laughed as we passed, I guess it was just funny... I must say, it wasn't really a dumb question but it was a dumb moment, almost like something out of a Mentos commercial.

i have a beautiful black '07 695, yesterday at work big harley guys says:
him: what happened to the other headlight?
me: huh?
him: well all the other rice rockets have 2 headlights and lots of chinese writing.
me: well... it's not a crotch rocket and it's made in italy.
him: it's not a harley, so it sucks anyway.
me: bring your harley to the line and we'll see who sucks, oh and learn about motorcycles while your watching me drop you.
he walks away.

Got one about an hour ago...

"So, how much do Buell's cost? $10,000?"

Granted, I pulled the name off my tank, but my jacket says "DUCATI" in like 3 places in big white letters.

 [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang]

Maybe we should set up a hotline.  Next time a member finds himself in this situation you call the number and get an
intelligent and appropriate reply.  Maybe Randle could man the hotline,  errrrrr  oh that might be a bad idea. 

Didn't we have a thread about an aussie fella that screwed it up with a waitress.

Rule of thumb, attractive girls make it a rule to not speak extraneously.  Otherwise dudes, with their weiners being the ever optimist, may misconstrue it as hitting on them.  So when a situation such as above is created.  Make a go at it.  This merely a logical guess.  I could be wrong. and should follow my own advice.  I don't.

I too, give that akward smile of "all right, welp have a good one."  Only to ponder the situation later and go, "Wait a second, DAMN DAMN DAMN.  Oh well."

Had one two weeks ago.

Monstergf and I were at target.

Our cashier was ringing us up and noticed my ducati hat, and struck up a conversion.
Out of it came this gem...

Him: Ducati huh? Thats Italian right?

Monstergf: Yep

Him: yeah, they call those the Lamborgini of motorcycles.

Monstergf: Actually they call them the Ferrari of motorcycles, but close enough...

Him:  No, Ferrari is French....

Monstergf: Looks at me, (I'm trying to not burst out laughing)  Ok....

Him: Yep... have a nice day.

we walked out as quick as we could, and then died laughing in the parking lot.

He is definitely not your friend.. don't talk to stangers.. LOL

I've found that when someone clueless tries to tell you what country a vehicle is from, they'll accept that you're right if you can tell them what city it's manufactured in.

i knew he looked suspicious with the dark van full of puppies and candy!
 [evil]

but seriously... I have never come across such ass holes in person..only on forums.. where people tend to say things they wouldn't in person..  [roll]  I look forward for some real life experience though.. so I can do some capoeira on their faces..  ;D

i am a 5'3" woman but the thought did cross my mind, but i left the nunchucks at home! ha ha. seriously, assholes like that make the world go round it makes the rest of us how normal we are! thanks.

(http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/chances.jpg)

Not a question, but quite insulting from a cocky yuppie kid straight out of college:

Kid:that your Ducati? (of my 1st monster, a 750)
Me:yup
Kid:how big is the engine?
Me:750
Kid:not bad... (5 second pause).....for a 750
Me: (WTF!?) What do YOU have?
Kid: Nothing. But I did have a Ninja 600...

 [bang]

Half cute and half stupid/rude. I parked my Monster on the sidewalk, not blocking the way, and went into the store, when I came out and was putting on my gear to ride off a little 6 year-old girl with her grandma walked up to me and said she liked my bike. Her grandma was rude and told her not to bother me. I said, oh she's not bothering me.
The little girl said she liked my helmet and I talked to her about how it was important to wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle or a bicycle. She of course informed me that she always wore her helmet. All this time her grandma was being made to stand and wait while the 'young'uns" acting like grownups. The grandma was fuming with impatience.
I thought it was great turn around of positions.

The Doc

PS: no I am not scary looking at all, nor was I being creepy or rude or anything that might alarm even the most wary of maternal instincts.

as i exited my bank from cashing my menial paycheck i observed an admirer crouching next to my bike. he immediately noticed me and asked me how i was able to register the bike. i said "I had my people take care of it", people being the dealership where i bought it,. he said that he has friends at the dmv and people have trouble registering ducati's because they have so much power. by this time i was already on the bike and gave him a thumbs up as i nicely cruised out of the lot.

this was my first experience with this kind of situation.

some people are truly retarded... you should have done some charity and take a minute to explain he has been living a lie his whole life.. LOL

I do subscribe to the theory that the stupidist question is the one not asked...However, I got a pretty dumb question yesterday at the gas pumps.

Was filling the Monster and it has a Matris top mounted steering damper. Guy came up complimenting the bike and told me he has a bike and is wanting to upgrade and is considering a Monster. He sees the steering damper and asks, "What is that? Power steering?"

Of course I was nice and explained but a surprising question from one who rides.

Had a confusing one on the commute this morning on my 2001 S4.

Had just gotten off the freeway in San Francisco, and this guy was standing next to his cruiser (didn't notice what kind).  He had a non-riding jacket on, kind of a wind-breaker winter jacket, and he was wearing loafers with no socks (ankles showing).

He's talking on the phone, and then he sees me and starts walking towards me. 

I look up, and he says "Hey, did you hear about the recall?".

Me: shook my head "no".

Him: "cycleworld"

At that point the light turned green and I just nod "ok" and take off.

The only thing I can think is that he read something in Cycleworld about some sort of recall of something related to Ducati, and he now feels the need to tell everyone who's riding any type of Ducati from any year about this recall.

My favorite is still "Hey man nice Buell"  Where the make the beast with two backs do these nitwits come from? The moron can be standing 1 foot away from your bike looking at the Duc logo and they still think it's a Buell!
My other fave is when your standing with yiur helmet and gloves invariably someones gotta ask are you riding. Proper response " no man I'm a daredevil, i ride on top of the bus for a reduced fare" ;D

That's just a reflex question... stupid I know.. like when this happens:

Me: I got my wallet stolen!!!!!!!!
Moron: Oh no.. who stole it?
Me: If I knew it wouldn't be stolen anymore.. right?

or,

"I've lost my keys"
"Where did you lose them?"
"Wish i knew."

omg the pain. ah ahha ha ha   [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Out of all of these quotes that I have gotten so many times. This one.
ROTFLMAO   [thumbsup]


nice.

That's gotta be the best  ;D

Unfortunately there is a little truth to this.  :-X

     [laugh] [laugh]

(Not that this is now my favorite thread ever and I'm posting way too much ...what ever. )


I was in the Dainese Store in SF flipping through the racks of one piece leathers next to a guy in full leathers doing the same...helmet and SKATE BOARD in hand. Turns out he goes for land speed records down very steep hills. 75mph ...no breaks, just balls.

like a standing street luge?

Like this. They actual drag knee, and have hand pucks for "dragging hand" ...
This is pretty good. There's some good slams here.]

 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFUeuB9GAjI&feature=related[/url)

Looks like a good time.  I'd never do it, but I'd buy the guy with the best crash a beer pitcher!

Check out this thread...

http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=10564.msg179544#msg179544

I've got a side-mounted damper... I tell folk it's an airspeed indicator  ;D

after i sold my r6 and brought the duc home, my mom asked me y i bought half a bike and if i crashed it on the way home and left all the plastics on the freeway?
then i explained to her that its a naked bike, then she asked me y is an old bmw light up front heheh (i liked that one) and y does it look so old for being a 2000 hahaha

Sick!   [evil]

"Is that a Ducati?"

No, it just has those big ass stickers on the tank for looks.

I just tell them it's an SV 650 in gisguise.

I learned right from the begining the question of "What is that" .  The first time was less then an hour after I had bought my 07 S2R800.  The question happened in the parking lot that connected to the Ducati dealership.

One guy came up to me at a Waffle House while I was waiting for a friend. He comes up and says how hes going to get one of those he has been reading up on them and thinks they are great bikes. What year is that SV 650 anyways he don't recognize that body style. DOH  [bang]

I like to let people think they can't afford them and I have a lot of money. Makes my military pay seam that much more  [thumbsup]

This is what I have noticed thus far

I was at an automotive store a few weeks ago getting a bulb for my truck.  I walk outside and some guy and his girlfriend, both early 20's are almost drooling right on the bike.  I think I would have caught the guy dry-humping the bike if his girlfriend wasn't there.  The guy then said I know what that name means, as he points to the Ducati Monster logo.  He tells me that Ducati means very fast and expensive. I kinda chuckled since it is only a 696.  He then tells me that Ducati's are very rare and that he has only seen them in movies.  He drove off and I started laughing as I remembered this post going around. 

I had a similar experience with a fellow probably in his 70's on a CB900.  He looked at my M750 and said "Wow, that thing looks F-A-S-T fast, it'd eat this 'ol CB up."  He rode on and while I was happy for the compliment, I'm pretty sure the CB900 would eat my lunch on any straight stretch of road  ~

JM

dumbest question - that would have to be my wife constantly asking  "hey when are you going to sell that bike?"

+1

Or my girlfriend asking why I need another one.
 

Or my GF nagging me because i spent my paycheck on more gear......and then telling me im the irresponsible one because now i can only afford to eat pasta for dinner instead of 30$ on going out.  I would trade going out to dinner for a new piece of gear every week any time! GFs just don't see it that way  [cheeky]

Sounds like you guys haven't found the right women.   :-\



Me - When can we get another??   [evil]


Me-Proper gear is always more important than food.   [thumbsup] [moto]



And sorry guys, I'm very happily married. 

Damn way to crush all our hopes and dreams....... [laugh]

Do you shop and cook/  If not, doing so may change things.  My wife has bought some of my gear because she wants me home safe and sound to cook dinner ;D

Hmmm good idea howie looks like i have something to work on.  I'm a decent cook just my GF wants to go out most of the time where i would rather save the money and put it towards other things.  I'll give it a shot if i start getting good she will be begging me to make dinner!  [thumbsup]

Great relationship advice!!   [thumbsup]

A win/win for both party's involved.

Silliness. I'm a terrific cook. If I make da woman fat, I'd have to get a Harley, thus negating all savings from eating at home.

 [laugh] [laugh]

first, you would have to get her to eat  [bacon] to become fat.

I doubt no matter how much MsIncr ate, she would not get fat with all the physical activity she does.   ;)

• Innocent #1 - "Wow dude you caught me staring at your bike, How much was that? Like $40,ooo? "

Same day:

• Innocent #2 -  "Nice gear, is that like hard inside, like you're all armored up like you..., do you... what's that for?"

• Me -   "I just feel safer like this on the bus."  [cheeky]
(response inspired by this thread)

• scooter rider at work -  So do you commute all the way from Bakersfield with all that gear and helmet and everything?

•Me - ATGATT !

Friend of a  friend came over last weekend and saw my bike for the first time.  This guy gets on my nerves sometimes.  He's one of those people who knows and has done everything.  I'm sure everyone knows this type.  If you've taken a shit at the top of Mt. Everest, he's already done it. 
Anyways, he looks my bike over, looks at me and says..."Why did you take all of the fairings off of it?  These things look better with them on."  I respond by telling him that it is a naked bike and doesn't have fairings.  Then he tries to tell me that Monster's are crotch rockets, and someone changed it to look like it does now.  Whatever.  Then he asks me the question that just about everyone else asks me..." Is it fast?" 

I guess it's less of a question, and more of a statement. But when I first got my bike and license, I would regularly get, "Don't kill yourself on that." Or, "I just saw a guy the other day get into this crazy accident on one of those..."

And the final, "Try not to kill yourself on that..." my response, "No shit."

I love how folks think that new riders actually WANT to hear this stuff.

Old guy today   ''My son has a harley and a little bike like that.''

I like when someone says" it's always in the last place you look" of course it's in the last place I f@cking well looked, why would I keep looking, once I've found it.

Maybe it's being a small woman, but I always get the, "But surely you're not one of those crazy riders...you know, the ones that go between the lanes..." comment.

Silly people.  Of course I'm crazy. [roll] [cheeky] [evil]

Yes you are. You date somebastid. ;D

I was wearing a Ducati T-shirt when a cashier asked if I owned a Ducati.  I said that I did.  She told me she had one too.  Hers was a Trek hybrid.  It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking about a bicycle and she thought Ducati was an Italian bike maker.  She really was a nice lady, but obviously a little confused.

(http://www.webbikeworld.com/ducati-motorcycles/ducati-bianchi/ducati-bianchi-scrambler.jpg)
(http://www.webbikeworld.com/ducati-motorcycles/ducati-bianchi/ducati-bianchi-factory.jpg)
(http://www.webbikeworld.com/ducati-motorcycles/ducati-bianchi/ducati-bianchi-panigale.jpg)
Maybe not...

Ducati have partnered with Bianchi to make some kick ass bikes.

There actually is a ducati bicycle.  Or should I say, a bicycle that has licensed the name.    Italian bicycles are pretty expensive and I assume it is a smaller frame company trying to cash in on the Italian pricetag, (Or quite possibly a very clever Walmart employee with some serious spray painting skills).  The last one I was was on Ebay ($2500 for the frame).  She would be wise to keep her Trek. 

here the site
http://www.bianchiducati.com/ (http://www.bianchiducati.com/)

(http://www.bianchiducati.com/images/Ducati-Bikes-900XR.jpg)

it got cold here. i ride my bike everyday and always see the same guards on my way in and out. they have seen me riding pretty much every day for the 2 years since i started coming in that entrance through rain, sleet, and snow. i park within sight of the entrance and guard station.
today as i was walking in the guard looks at me agast and says "you didn't ride in today did you?"
that one always gets me, esp when i'm in full gear.


my fav question is "when are you going to get a car?"



i saw a lot of KTM bicycles in germany.

That bike is SO FREAK'N COOL!

I just did a search and it looks like it's over $5k.

OUCH!

5K for a bike with no pedals?

Don't people that pay that much get custom pedals / shoes combo? 

Not a question but a lack of information somebody i know thought the bike could stand up all by itself and did not need a kickstand.  So if said person got on the bike they were just going to put their feet right up with it not moving..........

Did they have training wheels on their bike?

They had never ridden a motorcycle, and knew how to ride a bicycle totally blew my mind and every once and a while they still forget it can not stand on its own.  Glad they don't ride  [laugh]

$5000 is not considered an expensive bike. It's a medium priced bike. My bike was $4000. Lower end of lightweight bikes (Giant TCR zero). You never get peddles with these bikes. My mountain bike was only $1800. That's cheap. I would like to get an all carbon Ibis frame, but I just got a new motorcycle, so I have to use my old "cheap" bikes for now.

I'm still waiting for someone to ask me a dumb question about my bike. The dumbest question I've had about riding a motorcycle was from a drunk guy in a Taco Bell. He was amazed when I took my helmet off and asked, " YOUR A CHICK???" I thought that was funny, especially since I'm approaching geezer-hood.

<mild threadjack continuation>

I have to differ, I'm afraid.  $5000 is still an expensive bike.  Not THE MOST expensive, far from it in fact, but average bike sales are around $1000.  Is a $75k car not expensive because there are cars for $500k? 

</mtc>

Agreed it is expensive! As a school teacher my available funds are meager. My point was that $5000 is not considered "expensive" when compared to bikes that are at the higher end. Some people are amazed that bikes can be that much. One time while in Reno I was looking at some road bikes at various shops. I was with a friend who didn't have anything to do with bikes. After looking at a few, she asked me how much they were. I told her around 4-7. She said that since I rode a lot $400-$700 was probably worth it. I told her it was $4k-$7k and she about crapped her pants. It really is all relative. I didn't mean to make $5000 sound like nothing. My bikes do the job just fine.

<mild threadjack continuation> continuation

That one has been in the window of my fav bike shop for months. Its selling for $3,900 to over $5,k depending on what parts you get. Kind of the "S" and "R" models. The Serotta Ottrott ST hand made italian bicycle is going for over $14,000 now.

Hmmm... for the same money I could get either the 848, or the bicycle..?.   bicycle or 848...?  There's a dumb question for you.
(My team race-bicycle was the same price as my monster. No fooling  :P)

 +1 Its gotten ridiculous. Our pesso I mean dollar doesn't help either.

Yeah, I've spent that much on a mountain bike. But not a road bike.

woo i got my first one . I'm sure there will be plenty more.

me and Harley guy outside of wawa, putting on gear.
Im on 02 m620 dark
hes got a Harley sportster 1200 something.wearing a hoodie and salad bowl helmet. (its 39 degrees out)
guy says:

#1: "that looks like a law breaking bike...." (maybe that should have been a compliment)


#2 "I had my daughter take the msf course, they gave her the same bike...."
   
thought that was worthy of the board. [roll]

Outside the post office last week...

Him:  "Is that one of those 49cc scooters?"

Me:  "Yup!" 

I don't get it. What would make someone think a monster is a 49 cc vespa? I may vote for this one as the dumbest question.

either he was totally clueless or he tried to offend you.... 49cc scooter? what?

Should have been, "Sure is.  Faster than a Ferrari too.  Ferraris suck ass."

I had one yesterday that I had to post here - I actually finally go around to joining instead of lurking specifically so I could post this.

I pulled up to a coffee shop last night, took off the helmet and gloves and walked in with all my gear.  A guy follows me inside, looks at me as I'm trying to order and says "I see you have all that leather on, do you have a 10-speed".  I tell him yes.  He looks a little stunned and says "Really?"  I tell him, "No, not really".  He then says "You have a Harley?"  I tell him the bike is a Harley and leave it at that. 

My old bike 2 seconds after the wreck, Flew 30' over the roof of this guys car laying in the middle of the road,
Driver "are you ok"
me "no"
I know that after someone goes through anything traumatic start with simple questions just to make sure the person can respond, blah,blah.
However after almost being killed by the guy, "are you ok" seemed like a pretty retarded question to me............................................................ laying their ...    bleeding.

i don't know what country youa re living in but $5000 is expensive, guess its all relative, you can get a full DA carbon bike r3 for 5k, that is by no means a medium priced bike. a 2-3 k bike is medium priced.

didn't know that in order to have a "expensive" bike you needed to spend over 6k or more.. like how about a bmc time machine or a pinarello montello with full campy super record and lightweight obermayer wheels now that is expensive.

As said, it IS expensive. To me, a school teacher, my bike was expensive. Compared to $12K-15K bikes, it's not chump change, but it is not the high end. Do I wish I could afford a $12000 bike? Heck yeah. But I can't. I shouldn't have spent $4K on my bike. My Duc 695 was expensive to me, but it's not an expensive mc. You're right. It's all relative!

Yesterday, from a guy driving past in a Mercedes while I'm working on the ST2:

"Is it for sale?"

And the dumbest answer:

"Nope."

I love the bike, but for the right price...

From my old landlord: "Do you know yu have a motorcycle in your kitchen?"
Me: "Ummm. Yeah"

me: "No.  Did that darned motorcycle fairy come in and give me another bike???"

i had my coworker ask me last week, "when are you putting the body work back on?"

Blondie :  What do you want for Christmas hon?

Me: A reverse GP shifter

Blondie : Is that so you can go backwards?

haha nice Desmostro

I got this yesterday..
My Girlfriend: Who do you love more, me or your motorcycle?

And this is why you spent the night on the couch...

And that is why I am now single.   :-\

You poor bastards. ..  [laugh]


...er
Ya I got asked that too. I hate tough questions.

I figure I must love them equally, as I'd sell either for something newer  ;D

Hiyo!

Not to be too crude, but I figure I tend to feel fondness for whichever one I'm on at the time.

[laugh]

If you try both at once......



Use a rearstand  ;)

 [evil] [laugh] :-[

that's not funny!












oh wait.  yes it is!
 [laugh] ;D [laugh]

From a Ducati sales person;

Re my 07 S2R 800 upgrade from the 05 620 Dark;

"you'll love the 6 speed on the 800 much better than the 5 speed on the 620"

My response 'You mean my 620 was the only 6 speed they made?  Hell I want it back'

Dumb ass either forgot or had a brain fart, the 620 with a 5 speed only had a single front disk and that was in 04!

Have to admit listening to his boss rip him a new one, about looking stupid infront of a buyer was the second highlight of my day.  The first still belonged to the ride home on the new bike!

Mods coming for the 800, new rear suspension to handle my weight, and a new frontend off an S4R.

 [drink]

Not sure where the brain fart is. The red 620i.e. that I bought new in 2002 was only a 5 speed, and had dual front discs......

Honey, I saw a onethousand onehundred ninety eight like yours, but white.

 [laugh]

...and because she liked that color more, she just went ahead and bought one for you. Right?

I was thinking the same thing at first.  My yellow 2003 M620 came with 5 speed and duel front discs.  After thinking about it for a bit, the M620 Dark did come in a 5 speed and a single larger front disc in 2004.  The Dark version was the more "basic" version of the Monster family. [laugh]

Working on it [thumbsup]

Yes, I was really questioning O M's comment about the 6 speed....

I had a person ask me today "so how hard is it to ride 200+ with that little fairing?"  I responded "after it goes past 190 a bright pink full fairing folds out of the gas tank"

How does Statlers bike handle, anyways?  :P

um? I guess I am dense but idk wtf you are asking about

I'm implying he has a foofy pink bike  ;)

lol....there is nothing wrong with pink bikes.....One guy in my mc club races a pink hello kitty bike and he is a cool guy ;D

 :-*


(http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd110/grumpylawyer/usduc023.jpg)

rofl

Cool Bike!

Is that a Buell?

i think its a monster hahaha

Was at a local bike cruise in night this past summer.  I noticed a guy looking at the rear swingarm and going from side to side looking at the wheel.

guy: dude, how did you cut the other side off (referring to the swingarm)
me: it comes that way...it is a single sided swingarm
guy: isn;t that dangerous...how does it handle?
me: just fine
guy: shakes head in bewilderment

Another night:
Harley guy: Man this thing is a Monster!!
me: yes sir it is
harley guy: notices the Monster S4R emblem below the seat.."holey crap it is a Monster!!"
we both laughed

That's comedic gold!  LOL

Yesterday, after washing my Monster and getting it all cleaned up, I ran to the grocery store, in the span of 10 minutes I had two people, who weren't friends, come by and say to me: "I've never seen a bike like that with all the body work removed..." which I throught, cool someone's noticing that my bike is different.


...then (again at seperate times and locations)...each person asked me "is that a stunt bike?"


 [bang]

I was sad.

HAHAH this jus had me cracking up in the bak of my class ... teacher and all wondering what the hell i was crackin up at.. if they only knew.. lol ..

I never thought I'd get to post in this thread, but last night my dreams came true. I met some friends at the gas station for an evening ride. This guy, that seemed to be high as a KITE, pulled up trying to get the attention of anyone...

Kite: Hey!
Me: What's up?
Kite: Hey, how do you take off on one of those things?
Me:  Going forward hopefully...
Kite: But like, how do you get going?
Me: Let the clutch out easy, just like a car
Kite: Cuz my cousin has a bike, but he can't take off on it...
Me: Ok...
Kite: What if your on a hill, like going down?
Me: I would just let gravity do it's thing
Kite: Can I park and have you show me all the things on the bike?
Me:....Uh....sure.....

Then I gave him a tutorial on the moto controls and waited til he got very far away for our group to leave.

So I still have yet to buy my monster and already I have something to post here. Which is exciting cause this may be my favorite post!!!

I called my insurance agent to get a quote so I can organize finances, he asked me what kind of bike.
I replied, A ducati monster.
his response, wow, thats one of those really expensive, really big bikes
My response, not too back actually, and only 696cc's.
His response, oh, ok, well just to let you know it could be classified as a superbike.....
My response, uh, whatever, just call me back when you have a quote.

His assistant calls me back later to give me the quote, and ends the conversation with this,
"Tim (my agent) just wanted me to let you know this could at some point in the next couple of years could get reclassed to a superbike,"

Never thought I would hear a Monster 696 referred to as a Superbike......

When you see how much more you pay for a "superbike" you'll know why. Call back and ask for quotes on a variety of bikes and see how they come up with what they'll charge you.

Sorry if someone posted anything similar, not enuff time to read thru all these as much as I am enjoying ones I did get thru, but here is my latest:

Gearing up to leave after firing some rounds at local shooting range, man walks up smiling and asks, NO JOKE,
"Who makes that Ducati?"   
Me:   uhhhhh, WHat?
Man:  Who MAKES that Ducati? 
Me: (after pondering a moment and trying to be polite and NOT laugh out loud)  um, ITALIANS. 

This man never saw a bike like mine ever-and he was in his 70's  :-X   [laugh]

What a great answer. 


Mind if I use it?

 [beer]  honestly thought he was joking and I am NOT a quick thinker normally, this just kinda popped out to be honest. 

To BRAG a bit off topic here as well..... just other weekend I was in downtown Mt Dora (artsy small town) with two other women, but they were each on their Gixxer and a FZR, full race bikes, and then me on my NAKED Monster.  MANY MANY people, men AND women stopped to admire and ask questions and EVERY SINGLE ONE went STRAIGHT TO my Monster, every time.   [laugh] [clap]  I actually began to feel a lil embarrassed for my friends!

Later after we all were home, one of the girls posted in our forum that even without ME with them, at their next TWO stops on way home, MORE ppl stopped to talk with them and ALL said SOMETHING about a Ducati Monster, specifically!!   Wierd huh????!!

OK, back to more dumb questions......

hehehehe ..... That happened to me to but on my bicycle.

I got asked that question by a passer by when a EMT was bandaging my head. I think I told him my leg was broken all this while I was standing next to him.

HA!  [laugh] [laugh]
I was just telling this story...
I got hit once and the guy ran out to find me in the street and he said, " You scared the hell out of me, you bounced off my windshield!"
Imagine his surprise. dumb azz.

Neither one of these really seem stupid but they made me smile.

Just rode back with my new Termis installed and a friendly neighbor ask what kind of bike is that? I respond a Monster she gives me a look like ok smart ass and the replies well it certainly sounds like a monster.
This neighbor later told my GF that she thought monster was a good nick name for my bike.
The GF explained to her that it is called a Ducati Monster.

Oh and random guy at gas station, “is that fast?”
Me, “well it sure seems fast during rush hour.”
And boss, “I didn’t think you were going to drive that in the rain.”
Me, “I didn’t. I RODE it in the rain”

Had a "near-miss" with someone who has heard of Duc, but didn't know much about them.

GFs Aunt was visiting us here in Michigan, she's from Hawaii. Her daughter came along too. They were all in the living room when I showed up to visit my GF, so I walked in as I normally do, wearing my riding jacket and carrying my helmet.

Aunt: "Oh, you've got a motorcycle... cool! What kind is it?"
Me: (Thinking she'd have no clue) "It's a Ducati."
Aunt: (Big surprised look) "You have a Ducati? Wow! Lyndz (referring to my gf), you need to keep this one. He's got good taste, and obviously has some money to go with it."
Me: "Nah, it wasn't that bad. I got it used, so I got a pretty good deal on it."
Aunt: "Ah, ok. I was just about to ask how much it costs to ship one of those over here. They're Italian right? Eh, either way, I bet it's really fast. Just don't go killing yourself on it."

We walk into an eatery similar to Hooters but with better food.... all of us wearing or carrying our gear...


Drunk fat chick:  " do you guys have motorcycles?"
us : " no we just don't trust the way people here drive"
DFC: " really? man i know what you mean. but hey wait, there are motorcycles out there " points to motorcycle parking out side of the patio
us: " wow cool maybe one of them is in here"


she left, retreating back to her table which consisted of two other drunk girls, both noticeably more attractive than her and some douchebaggy looking guy....   .. then she returned

DFC: " so my friend and I think those are your motorcycles"
me: " well if your friend wants to flash us maybe she can watch us ride off "




she didnt come back after that

Did you mean to say something here Dave?

Finally I have a good one to put on here. My sister has a bit of a problem developementally; she functions at the level of an 11 to 14 year-old. (Please don't you all going saying anything about me being rude, this is just the way it is, okay). Imagine a sister who is the same age as me (25), but is really rude and kinda mean, thinks she is better than everybody, and can't really be reasoned with, at all.

She pulls up to my parents house where I am visiting, and my bike is sitting outside with the rotorlock/alarm on the front disk and it is ticking really loud b/c the batteries are dying and I haven't replaced them.
She comes in and says: Your bike is making a stupid noise like it is going to explode 'tick-tick-tick', it is really annoying."

Me: "Oh that's the alarm/rotor lock batteries, they need to be replaced."

Her: "You have an alarm on that piece of junk?"

Me: (Thinking, I just washed that bike, oiled the chain and drove it over here, it looks great) "Umm, That bike is worth Ten Thousand Dollars . . ."

Her: "Uhhh . . ."

Inside I was jumping for joy b/c it was so perfect and I delivered it so blankly, and she just shut up right then and there (she never, NEVER does that).

The Doc

Guy at my Graduate school: "Did you ride today?"

ME, standing there wearing all my gear and carrying my helmet: "Nope, I just drive my Geo Metro REALLY aggressively!"

The Doc

I had no idea that I married your sister.

I pull up to the pump at a gas station and while taking off my gloves this drunk female who is walking by with her two drunk guy friends veers over and yells to the guys "Hey, this is one of those Harley bikes."
She asks me "Aren't these made by Harley Davidson."
I'm guessing she means Buell, but don't want to confuse her more than she already is by trying to figure out what she means.
I take off my helmet and say "No, Ducati"
She asks "What is it?"
I say "Ducati Monster"
She asks "Who makes it?
I point to the tank and say "Ducati"
She stands there for a few seconds with this confused look on her face and then says "Nice bike." then walks off to catch up with her friends.  [roll]

L. M. A. O!

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Yeah, sorry about that.

The Doc

Well, I've had all the dumb questions imaginable: what is that, who makes it, is it a buell, how fast is it, was it expensive, can it pull a wheelie .....

Also had the rude HD crowd who act like im a squid on a crotch rocket.

However I think I had an impact on one HD guy.  I was taking a ride after the sun was down one night and caught up to a bike in front of me which from the sound was obviously a HD.  Well, since it was late at night and there were always deer on this road I just stayed behind him and matched speed.  We rode like this for about 5 miles or so with him occasionally accelerating and me doing the same (I had cored exhaust on the m750).  We finally came to a stop sign and I pulled up beside him at which point he did the casual look over to nod then did a hilarious double take/head jerk when he noticed the bike.  he yelled over to me "man I thought it was another harley behind me with that sound and the headlight"  I laughed at this point to which he replied "that thing is badass" I said thank you and we went separate ways at this point. 

My point is that given the opportunity I think most guys even the stuck up HD guys can probably be OK if they are given the opportunity to see we are not all squids.  Being mindful of how you are riding helps.  If I had blown past him because I thought he was riding too slow he might have never gotten to see that people on other makes/models can be pretty cool too. (although I personally think a HD makes a person less cool)_{joking ;D}

I was waiting for somone to pull out of a parking space so i could take it.  I was right behind them, they pulled out of the parking space then while trying to put the car in drive somehow he stepped on the gas instead and quickly reversed straight into my bike knocking me over. As im on the ground trying to pick myself up he gets out of his car walks back to me and says "Huh, i thought i ran over something".

LOL  [laugh]

One day I'm waiting at a stop light when a guy on a Busa pulls up to me.
He lifts his visor and asks me what mirrors I've got and where to get them.
I tell him that they are Napolean Style Barend mirrors, to just google it.
He says cool because he wants to replace his mirrors.
I look over and say that his mirrors are mounted on his fairing.
He says yeah but he's already broken off two by hitting car mirrors while lanesplitting and wants to find something easier to replace when he does it again.
The light changes and he zips off leaving me there awestruck.

That guy is a credit to humanity

I don't know how stupid it is, but it made me a little disappointed.

One of my Bosses use to race, when he heard I got a Ducati, I think he was more excited then I was.  He had never had the opportunity to ride a Ducati and with out thinking about it, it didn't occur to me that he had 70's and 80's race bikes pictured in his head.  I rode it to work one day, When he gets a break he runs outside to see it.  He comes back in looking like a kid who had his candy stolen. 

"When did they change the design?  are they all like that?"

He had never seen a monster.     

Waiting at a red light, a doofus in a truck pulls up next to me.

Doofus:  Nice bike, who makes that?
Me: Uhhh....Ducati.  *points at my tank*
Doofus:  Oh, haven't heard of them before.  Is that Mexican? 
Me:    ???
Doofus:  *points at my seat* (I have a sergeant seat with Italian flag.)

Light changes, I shake my head and laugh riding away.  At least Mexico has the same colors in the flag I guess.   [thumbsup]

People ask if my white w/ black spots greyhound is part dalmatian. When I explain that she's a greyhound, and her bloodlines are documented to 1840, they ask "are you sure? she looks like a dalmatian."


The common question I get is "how fast", and I've been saying (alternating) either "it goes to 11" or "I'm not sure because the speedometer only goes to 160, and when I shift out of third..."

The logistics of traveling that fast and taking the time to look to see your speed - mindboggling.

[In a tone that could only mean, "I'm about to get all superior on you in a challenging kind of way:]
*Hardley Abelson douche-bag - So you got one O' them 'rice-rockets' I see...

(shutting him up before the stupidity built up to irretrievable levels)
*me on 848 - This is one of the finest hand build ITALIAN machines on the planet

*Hardley douche-bag - Ok Race-rockets, what-ever...

*me on 848 - It weighs around 370 pounds and has about 150 HP right now. (Thinking What does yours have? about 65HP weighing in 1000lbs? 1300lbs with you on it?)

*Hardley douche-bag - Ya so why you wearing all that gear?

*me on 848 - I'm not stupid, and I don't "ride to pretend." Why do you strap a cereal bowl to your head? You got corn flakes in their?

...The conversation degenerated from there.

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [clap]

Fixed.  I love my pasta rocket.

THAT'S GREAT!

(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d56/c3vette/bowl_of_stupid.jpg)

I've been asked if my bike was as fast as a Harley.  Apparently, someone has been lying to him about their Harley.

*me on 848 - I'm not stupid, and I don't "ride to pretend." Why do you strap a cereal bowl to your head? You got corn flakes in their?

...The conversation degenerated from there.
[/quote]

 [laugh]
This is my new response to people who wear brain buckets.

True story.  My fiancée on the back of the Monster 750.  Legal passing zone on the Cherohala Skyway comes up.  We've been behind this dude on a Sportster (assuming 883 due to what happened next) for miles.  I signal, swing well into the other lane and began to pass.  He rips on the throttle like he's pissed I'm passing or wants to race or something.  It makes a lot of noise, but doesn't speed up much.  I twist Molly's throttle and well, passed him as I'd planned.  So yes, Molly, a 750, is as fast as a Harley. 

Sidenote:  When the Harley Sportster 1000 was around in the 70's it was one of the fastest bikes on the road.  Then Honda built the CB900 and Harley's been behind since.

JM

Kawi built the Z-1 first...

And Honda is still trying to catch up. :P

That's right, forgot about that thing.  Good, fast, bike those were and they also went from 900 to 1000cc too IIRC

JM

After a while.

There were a few iterations of the 900 and then it became the KZ-1000.

There wasn't anything faster than the original Z-1s with four throttle cables...

besides an H-2.

When I was new to riding, maybe 2 months in, I was pulled over by a police officer who told me outright he was just stopping me to check my legality. (I was all legit)  He says to me, "I am glad you didn't try to run b/c I would have caught you on that little thing".  Now grant it he definitely had more power than me.  He also weighed alot more than me at the time and so did his harley.  It was also 2" off the ground.  I just thought it was funny b/c if I had any riding skill at all and were the type of person to run there is no way he would have caught me.

H-2's were crazy fast.  I like 2-strokes.  I would kill myself on an H-2 mostly likely.  The hit on one of those is incredible.


This is something I didn't know.  My brain got bigger today  [laugh]  How did that work?

JM

It was a single cable off the throttle with a 4 way splitter.

You synched the carbs by varying the length of the individual cables at the top of the carb.

I don't know why, but that system seemed to be the fastest.

It may be because we never figured out how to set up the linkage carbs.

We were two stroke guys. ;)

I'll bet it also eliminated any play the linkages might introduce into the carb assembly.  Get the cables spot on and there's no linkage slop or lag of any type in the individual carbs responding to the throttle twist.  Seems like that would make a slightly more instant response.  Interesting indeed!

JM

IIRC they passed a law against it. ;)

It was more about a closing system than anything else.

I guess the spring on top of the slide wasn't sufficient. [roll]....

although...if you ever saw the result of the top of a carb unscrewing...

it makes a lot of sense. [laugh]

This thread needs a bump

 Old Harley dude pulls up next to me and asks who makes those???
 I point to the tank where it says DUCATI plane as day.
 
Also,, before I got my S4 I had a Silver and Black '02 R1 and my wife had ( and still has ) a 620ie. Being in the military I had to go through the gate of  FT. Lewis every morning and got to know most of the gate guards pretty well. Every day ( weather permitting ) I rode the Yamaha in and no one said squat about my bike. One day I took my wife's 620 to work and the guards were all over it asking things like "How much faster is this than your other bike?" I was like... uh... it's not quite as fast as my other bike,, but it's close.  :-\

Walked into my local Ducati dealer:
Me: I need 4 closer shims for a '01 Monster 900 in these sizes (hand over oily piece of paper)
Counter person: Ok, I'll get the parts guy.
Parts Guy: What can I do for you?
Me: I need 4 closer shims for a '01 Monster 900 in these sizes (hand over oily piece of paper)
Parts Guy: Ok, (brings up microfiche diagram on computer) can you point to the part that you need?

WalMart sells Ducati parts??

I wish they did.  Walmart = 5 minutes, Ducati Dealer = 45 minutes and a headache.

I bet you're glad you decided to do your own valve adjustment.

At the gas station the other day filling up.  The clerk there walks out and says, "Wow didn't know that bikes still had chains on them still!!!""

Then he went on and asked lots of other questions, like who makes that Ducati, never heard of them.  I only know what a ninja is.

Lauged to myself and went on my happy way.

I don't doubt bike officers any more.  There's a guy who frequents the local forum and goes out with us on group rides rocking a 999 Testastretta who also works Highway Patrol on a Harley.  Now I don't doubt that he's slower on his HD than he his on the Duc, but I still wouldn't want to have him on my ass with lights blaring :). 

Rode up to meet before a ride shortly after finishing my tail chop.  I'd never ridden with these fellas before and there were probably 6 or 7 there with various rockets so they poured over my bike a little once I stopped.  The one guy I did know said:  "When you rode up I almost thought we were gonna have two Buells on this ride".  I resolved not to knock his bike over, but rather just beat him in the corners :)

 >:(
was riding home yesterday and came up along side a Ninja.  i didnt' know what model cause it was "blinged" out. anyway. the guy and i came onto the autobahn together and i got on it to merge the proper way  ;D
we rode for a bit together and then parted ways at our respective exits.
the next day he says to me..
 >:(
isn't your bike kinda of quiet for a BUELL?
 >:( a BUELL  ???
i said first, I have the db-killers in and second... it's a DUCATI.
oh he says...

A Buell....

(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/nunchucks.gif)

Time to breakout the mad ninja skillz.

On your way out, find a brick while you're at it...

(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/brick.gif)


A Buell.....that's sacrilegious to say to a Ducati owner!!! Don't people know anything!!!!

I think I'd say it just to cheese someone off.


I thought we rode these things because we liked them, not for what other people thought?

<shrug> It's got the same taillight. Must be the same bike, right?


Caring what other people think is one of the greatest sources of misery.

Ah, reed valves and Klotz 2 stroke mix... the good old days! [thumbsup] [moto]

I'm a Z1 fan to this day. I have a '83 Lawson Replica (EPM mags, CalFab Swingarm, Fox shocks, Performance Machine brakes/rotors...) and a '05 ZRX1200R (in Kawi green, the fastest color of course!).

Oops, end of thread jack! [bang]

maybe i was more tweeked that he didn't know it was a ducati. always looking for riders no matter what they ride to hang out with.. can't forgive not knowing the difference between a buell and a ducati.

not a dumb question but definatly a dumb a** had  a guy at a red light almost run me and the car net to him over trying to get a look at my bike. he was behind me and inched up and to the left almost clipping my tire before i moved up. then almost clipped the car next to him as he continued to pull left to look at the side of my bike. light turned green and he straitened out then changed lanes and passed my hanging out the window giving me a thumbs up. grrr idiots. [bang]

Stupid Question #1: (while getting on or off the bike) "Is that your bike?"

Stupid Question #2: Why did you buy a Ducati?

Stupid Question #3: Why do you ride a motorcycle?

Pro racer at Laguna Seca : "Why did you get the 848 and not the 1098R?"

Me : "...come here for a sec, leme show ya somethin'..."  <<SMACK>>

That's a good one...

Was in the elevator, ready to leave work.  Ran into someone who I hadn't seen in awhile.  He saw me with my riding jacket on and a helmet in hand and he asked "so you ride a motorcycle?"  Without missing a beat, I answered "yah, I would look like a fool with all these on if I don't have a bike." 

Now that would make too much sense.  [thumbsup]

I just got the "So do you ride?" question while someone was looking at my leather jacket during the summer.  I should have answered "No, I'm cold blooded and can't get warm in 90 degree weather."

Is that a Ninja? ...Anything above 500cc here in Panama, is called a "Ninja" by non educated people, even thought it doesn't have fairings, if it has fairings, you'll spend the whole weekend explaining why YOUR bike is not a "Ninja".

Sad but True...

Caring what other people think is one of the greatest sources of misery.
[/quote]

+1 [clap]

"How big is the engine?"  (looking at my S2R800)

800cc.

"800cc??!!  That's really small!!  I would have thought those Ducatis would be much bigger.  It must be a really slow one."

The GP race bike is also 800cc, I think it tops out around 215mph.

"No way!  800cc bike go that fast?  You are shittin me!"

I guess I am.  (shrugging and put my helmet back on)

"Why on earth did you get that land boat?" (re: my FJR)

2 hours later after following ... Way behind me:

"What did you to make it so fast?"  ;D

Adam

"Twist the throttle?"

On my way home yesterday a guy pulls up next to me in an older toyota pick-up (4-cylinder 22r) and it goes like this:

What year is that?
2007.
That's a bad-ass looking bike.
Thanks.
If you wanna wait at the gas station while I fill up (right after the light we were at) I'll race ya!
 ???


I wasn't sure what to say to that, but fortunately the light changed and saved me the trouble.

I stopped to get a soda near the marina today. I'm sitting on a bench near the bike, and a Jag XK8 pulls up, guy and girl get out, guy comes up
 "Don't see many Ducatis around here, nice bike."
Thanks
"Where's the fan?"
??? It's oil cooled
"Yeah, but wheres the fan? A guy I know had one of these, but his had a fan right there." and he points to the clutch housing!

I told him I took my fan off, and sealed up the hole.  8)

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [thumbsup] [laugh] [laugh]

His friend must be having a great time when he hears about this. I picture this guy telling his friend that he can seal up the hole where "the fan" was.

On my way out of work the other day. Got my jacket on and helmet in hand.

Co worker - hey you have that Buell out there right?

Me -  Huh? no I dont ride a Buell

Co worker - Its the red bike right?

Me -  Yeah, Its a Ducati not a Buell

Co worker - oh.. sorry man.

me (thinking) - your an idiot.

Harley guy with girl on back.. pulls up next to me . I'm in turn lane, he's going straight:
 "is that thing broken"
Me: "yes, would you like to help me get it to a mechanic?"
Harley guy.. shock on face.. shakes head.. watches me pull away at the light.

Sitting on the boardwalk in OC,MD with Helmet in hand, jacket on, funny looking vented armored pants and boots:
Foreign kid: do you ride a motor bike?
Me: no i just wanted to stay out of the sun.

And as always.. do your ride a bike? is that thing yours? what size is it?

Best comment ever, when i had my 675

Standing on the sidewalk at the Ball Park talking to my girlfriend
Drunk guy: Hey, nice bike, is that a harley
me: um, no Pointing to the Triumph on the tank and stating the obvious.
Drunk guy: how are you going to fit 3 people on that bike
me: huh?
drunk guy: Well, you, your friend and the driver.
girlfriend and me: can't form a sentence.. laughing way too hard.
drunk guy: i like harleys
girlfriend: just walk away mister, just walk away.
me: still rolling on the floor in tears laughing way too hard to speak.

I was pulling into a bike show about a week or two ago.  After I put in in neutral, the guy taking the two bucks to get in says "that doesnt sound good"  I assume talking about the clutch.

I explained it's a Ducati, its supposed to do that.

he just looked at me with a blank look on his face. ...  moron

..  "you know.. like how a Harley leaks everywhere?  It's a feature!"

I beg to differ, what ducati or triumph doesn't leak   ;D   It's a feature unfortunately.  I stopped sweating it  :(

Uhhh, mine doesn't leak anything...

You just haven't flogged it enough :)

nah

even my old bikes don't leak, i've only had one ducati with a drip and that was an 84 Pantah that had a rotted case gasket

I pulled into a Gas Station over the weekend on the " R ."

Some clean cut guy in his late 20s may be early 30s comes walking over from 3 pumps away .

He says " Is that a Ducati ? "

I say  " yes . "

He asks me if there is something wrong with the bike because of the clack-a-t clack noise it's making. ?

I tell him it has a dry clutch and it's a race bike and it's running fine.

He shakes his head and says " I wouldn't want a bike that sounded like that ! " .....and turns and walks away.

Dolph    :)

Natural selection at work

Then there's nothing left in it  ;)

Just rode it Saturday...

Not a question, but a statement:
My wife, the day I picked up my bike- "That thing is ugly"

I would've told her that my taste in bikes is identical to my taste in women.  end of conversation.

fixed it.

My bike is growing on her.  She told me a couple of weeks ago that my bike looks a lot better now that I cut "that thing" off the back (beer tray).

What?  You like loud, sexy, and high maintenance women who you are proud to take out in the public?  Meeeee too!

My friend's husband asked me, "Does that thing have balls?"

I honestly didn't really know how to answer. I just gave him a blank stare.

  I can deal with that.

After all, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

Dolph      :)

You can't lump Italian and English machines together.

I would now like to add this to the list here  [cheeky]

After I sold my sports car, my wife says to me, "You should buy a motorcycle."

And I said, "Really?"

And she said, "Ya. You should get a Ducati."

And so I did. I love my wife.

Also ....

I always get complimented about my bike, but the other day I was driving down the road and this guy driving a truck in the lane next to me leans his head out his window and yells, "That Ducati is awesome! Finally someone gets a decent motorcycle in this retarded town." And then he drove off screaming, "whoo hooo!"

As much as I liked his compliment, I decided to fall back in traffic and not be next to him anymore.

I believe this should be in the "Coolest thing someone said about your bike thread." [cheeky]

Not really a stupid comment but a comment none the less. ...

was riding over the weekend with some friends who for the first time saw my Monster.  They know nothing of Ducs so of course the first thing was a comment about the clutch rattle.

Later that night I get a txt from my friend.

"dude, i can still hear your clutch"

I replied with.. yeah its pretty awesome huh?

A couple of weeks back I was in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot drinking a coffee. A harley dude pulls up and he's looking at my bike and says "Hmmm. Ducati, all you got there really is a harley, the italians buy the engines from harley davidson, see it's a v-twin. harley owns the patent on them and are the only ones who can make them". I just continued drinking my coffee and changed the subject to all the chrome stuff on his bike, which he was more than happy to talk about.

did ya tell him Flo rides a 900v-twin too

you are much nicer than I am.. I would have explained to that guy just how much of an idiot he is. 

Normally I would have, but this dude was a full-patch wearing member of a major 1%'er MC club.

All the more reason to gently point out,

"Excuse me sir, butt you sound as if you may have a mild case of 'cranial in-ass-tosis.'"  [coffee]

"btw did harley also design the seat to accommodate your face and ass at the same time?"  [roll]

Walking through the city square, full of tourists. Helmet in hand, Ducati jacket on.

tourist
"Hey, where's the D-U-C-A-T-I? " 

Me
"Its here, in my pocket."

Next tourist as I'm getting on my 848, with 848 on the side right under where it says DUCATI
"Cool! 'Now that's Italian.' (Like it was an ad  jingle) Is that a Monster? " OOooo that one is for you guys!

on the last 4 bikes we have done, which were all pretty well built to the hilt, we use a Rockstar can as an overflow. No matter how much Ti, Carbon, Magnesium, unreal paint, welding, fab work, anythign, it doesnt matter.. they all ask the same question

"Whats the rockstar can for"

a buddy wrote a post about it on his blog

http://www.smokingtoaster.com/?p=20#comment-65 (http://www.smokingtoaster.com/?p=20#comment-65)

Should have used a PBR can. [beer]

This is better than Rockstar.

(http://www.bevnet.com/images/reviews/nos_energy_drink/images/NOS.jpg)

Plus, it makes your gixxer run better!   ;D

+ 1

nice touch!  [thumbsup]

 ???

dumbest Q&A I've had so far involved a statie. He already had a bright red Ninja pulled over, and stepped out in front of my black S2R to pull me over.

Trooper: "Why are you so nervous?"

Me: "I'm not"

Trooper: "No? Then why are your hands shaking?"

Me: "I've been riding for close to 4 hours. It's called engine vibration."

Trooper: "Don't try to lie to me. I ride and I know there's no such thing as engine vibration!"

 [bang] [bang] [bang]

Me: "So why did you pull me over?"

Trooper: "I saw a bike going the other way pull a wheelie, and I know it had to have been one of you two. I figured you decided to turn around and come back and pretend nothing happened."

 [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang]

Wait. He's a trained state trooper and he wasn't observant enough to tell the difference between a red Ninja and a black S2R? That's really sad. :P Who's to say the Ninja was even the bike pulling the wheelie? Could have been a yellow Goldwing! [laugh] "No such thing as engine vibration"?? Really?? Guess he's never pulled over any Harley riders. This story is a sad commentary on that State Police department... whatever state you live in.

Que?  ???

Dumbest question about my bike?

"Is it fast?"

PS: It's the dumbest question whether it's asked of my Harley or my S4RS, but for opposite reasons.   [laugh]

Seems like the first question I always get is 'How fast is it?' so I've been working on a response to that. 

My standard answer has been 'I've had it up to about 100.' 

My new answer is 'I can do the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs'

I am stealing that one. Don't worry, I will pay royalties.  ;D

You are all class in my book. [clap]

Not a dumb question but... I had stopped at Publix to some food on the way home. I parked in the back of the lot away from all the cars. An older lady, sitting in her car, watched me the whole time. As I walked past her car, she locked her doors! She did it all "Office Space" style without lifting her arm. I laughed out loud right there. [laugh]

You should've reinforced her outlook on life and started barking at her.

I laughed so hard my eyes teared up.  I'm totally stealing that.

I love it.  I have always tried to find an answer for this that wasn't just dumb.  I always feel stupid when I'm trying to explain to people that I don't like to go too fast on straight lines and that whipping around the twisties is much more fun.  I usually tell people that anyone and their grandma can go 150 in a straight line or wheelie on almost any new bike but real skill comes from cornering. 

This is perfect.

 [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup]

I'm happy that you are all having a laugh, but is it in any way possible to explain this to a European  ???

Star Wars reference. Han Solo says this when asked if his ship is fast.

This is actually a better answer than it first appears.  I was looking up the wiki page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Falcon) for our uninformed Euro-friend and found this explaination.  So what you'd really be saying is that your bike straightens the corners.  [thumbsup]



...and I'm really glad I didn't know all of that before I looked it up.  :)

Only an uber nerd would.

Sadly, I did. Only my explanation was a bit more technical. I know...this belongs in the confessions thread. :-[

BUMP!  [thumbsup] [thumbsup]  [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Yes! We have a winner.
I'm making a bumper sticker out of that one.

another personal favorite is "don't you know those things are dangerous?"

this is a question usually asked by the kind of person who walks up to a smoker and asks the exact same thing...

uh... we don't have bumpers...

Not directly monster related but about 15 years or so ago my Father asked me why they don't put seatbelts on motorcyles. [bang]

Sadly, that's happened to me before, but for another reason.

That happens to me ALL the time on my 150cc scooter.  That thing makes me look bad

Funny, the ladies always UNLOCK their cars when I ride by.    [moto]

[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
 [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap]
 [bow_down] [bow_down] [bow_down] [bow_down]
I guess I am a scary lookin dude.

They usually gun them at me.  Luckily, i'm quick.

Lucky dog.  Not only do they lock their cars, they make sure to be a safe distance away from me.  Actually I notice it happens even when I drive.  I must have negative energy or something surrounding me...   [bang] 

They just don't want to get a ticket. ;)

(http://members.airsoftcanada.com/digital_assasin/Forum%20Stuff/Misc/oh_snap.gif)

Do you dress like a parking lot attendant?

 :P

I was hoping that was forgotten by now   ;)

No, but if my wife asks nicely...

 ;)

The guys over on BARF (http://"http://www.bayarearidersforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305049") are making fun of this thread.

After looking at it more closely, I think they have a good reason to do that.  [roll]

Link?

Click around on the text and see if one of the words there takes you to that thread.

Then maybe you can complain to whoever runs this web site about how the links look just like normal text.

I think you wanted to say not ---> CLICKY Barf (http://www.bayarearidersforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305049)  not ---> CLICKY Barf (http://"http://www.bayarearidersforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305049")

It seems to be an unfortunate side effect of some of the other fixes they made.  Fortunately there is a fix (as you discovered) of adding an underline and/or changing the color of the linked text.

http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=2154.msg482349#msg482349 (http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=2154.msg482349#msg482349)

Ouch.  I probably ought to delete it, then.  [laugh]

Don't worry about BARF.  And please don't delete a 30 page thread even if someone thinks it's silly. 

Of course this thread is silly.. why else would be we doing it??? [bang] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

I'm really concerned about what a bunch of queers from san fran are saying about my bike?

Are they making fun of the bikes, or how ghey this thread is?  ;)

Probably the thead.. either way. its supposed to be a joke. Guess they dont get it.  At least this thread doesnt have numerous references to anal sex unlike the thread started in SF to mock it.

Let the BARFers have at it.  I'm a moderator over there.  And I will be watching....  [evil]

We don't make fun of BARF (too much) over here because we'd use use up all available bandwidth on the planet.  I'm saying this and I like BARF.    [cheeky]

all this worry about a group of folks who named themselves after vomit..

 [laugh]

We're actually pushing the name 1Rider to groups like the California Highway Patrol and other government agencies that we're working with to promote safety and educational programs throughout the state.  They recognize and appreciate the influence of our large and diverse membership in the SF Bay area.  However, BARF is what it will continue to be in the locals' minds, and we're cool wit dat.   8)

Well, DMF'er would probably translate to "Dumb Mothermake the beast with two backser" to most people so.....

Wow!

I'm truly humbled! The interwebs have put me in my place.

Because of a few enlightened individuals from a city 2700 miles away from me, I'm going to stop riding my Ducati and being proud of its uniqueness among the local motorcycling community.

I'm going to buy and install the first closed-clutch cover I find.

I'm going to stuff my cylinder heads with sawdust to mask that horrible clicking.

I'm going to eschew a completely competent, relatively unique bike for a completely competent run-of-the-mill bike so I can fit in with the masses and find cheaper used parts on eBay.

I am no longer "I," I am now "we."

(http://maxdunbar.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/borg.jpg)

We are BARF.

Mothermake the beast with two backser is one word, so it would not properly be abbreviated to MF, even though many people do it. 

DMF could properly be misconstrued as "Dungeon Master Forum" or "Dick Munching Free-for-all" but never "Dumb Mothermake the beast with two backser."  Only a truckload of morons would misconstrue DMF as that.

Dumbass Manky Fop!

;)

I live in Birmingham AL and ride a 49cc moped to work with plates from Wisconsin.  People constantly stop me on the road or yell out the window "Did you ride that all the way from WI?"

**OT do you have to have plates on a <50 cc scooter there?  around here, no registration needed.

Please, please, PLEASE tell me you always say "yes, I did."

what is more lame?

them starting threads about us?

or

us commenting about them starting threads about us?

Both.  And I'm sorry for having participated in either one.

I just read some of BARF

I really don't see the difference from there to here

or

from here to the CDC for that matter

it all just cliques right along

day after day

(http://www.bayarearidersforum.com/forums/images/smilies/twofinger.gif)  [puke], can we get back to:

please? [laugh] That was funny.

oh ya,  [wine]




PS thanks mostrobelle for all the political goodness done through barf at untold costs to your mind [thumbsup]

Unless of course they intend to imply a group with oedipal leanings towards the those with a lesser intellect.  ;D

ROFL   [bow_down] [bow_down]

on my roadtrip last week a couple of cruiser guys came up to me as I was leaving Phibbs in Albany and asked if my frame sliders were highway pegs.

Had a classic last Friday.

I was getting Chinese take out and a few grocery items for the weekend,  I was on my BMW GS because it has side panniers and a tail trunk. A some what normal looking fellow is walking by, looks at the bemmer and says ahhhh is that your bad boy ?   [drink]

me: well this is my BMW!

dude:how fast have you gone on it ?  200 !?!

(02 BMW GS 1150, crash bars, tall wind screen, and the above mentioned side and tail luggage.  Basically the front profile of a tuff shed.)

me:miles per hour ????????? MAYBE alittle over 100mph, look buddy the speedo does not even go that high. 

dude:looking at it says well...........a Ducati will go 200 !  [drink]

me:well mine will won't but ya some will.

dude: as he is walking away shacking his head.   huhhh.........must be scared !! [drink] [drink]

YUP I thought laughing on the ride home.    [moto]

All I needed to see was that "Karbon" has a forum avatar of Sho'nough from the blacksplitation wannabe film The Last Dragon. Nothing like a bad 80s kung-fo movie set in Harlem. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089461/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089461/)

Filling up at the base of ACH last weekend, guy comes up and asks, "Ducati, that's better than a Gixxer huh?"

I said, "Depends on what you're looking for."

"Yeah, but it's a Ducati, better than a Gixxer huh?" he replied.

Me, "In a way yes, in a way no."

He was disappointed in my answers.

Not sure what he's got against Gixxers (I'm not a big fan, but they are awsome).  I guess he just digs Ducatis, so I figure he at least has that going for him.  So, I guess it was a dumb question obscuring a nice bit of Monster admiration.

I think the NFL calls that offsetting penalties.   [beer]

Sorry to dig this thread back up but I had to post this after what just happened.


On my way to lunch I pull up next to a guy on a Hardly (yellow, green and orange flame paint job) waiting at a stoplight. Lets call him Flamer...

Flamer : "Whats that red thing spinning?!" Pointing to the clutch plate.
Me: "Its the clutch."
Flamer: " What does it do?"
Me: thinking he didnt hear me over the noise of the clutch, i say it again louder "ITS THE CLUTCH"
Flamer: "I HEARD YOU. WHAT DOES IT DO?!"
Me: "My bike runs on stupidity. It spins really fast when someone stupid looks at it."


 [bang]

 

"What's it do?"

"It CLUTCHES!"

 [laugh]

Pulled up to my house, with neighbor's boyfriend (late fifties, banana hammock and t-shirt from LuLu's in Gulf Shores) sitting outside on a chair. I turn off the bike, he looks at me and says "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! Desmo moto, baby! Did you know Ducati (implying singular person) got his doctorate from that motor? Yeah!"


I said... "No.", and went inside.  [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

He was probably referring to Fabio Taglioni.

http://www.ducati.com/heritage/protagonisti/protagonisti_taglioni.jhtml (http://www.ducati.com/heritage/protagonisti/protagonisti_taglioni.jhtml)

I had a guy say to me "I'm surprised your Ducati doesn't have shaft drive". Anyone ever have the shaft drive vs. chain drive argument?

PERSON: "why you got a duc on yo motorbike!!"

(http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae168/jds0292/2010-04-09175339.jpg)

ME: "the first three letter's (me pointing to the tank) spell duc, so slang/street terminology for a ducati is "duc".  you know like "i ride a duc""

PERSON: "that doesn't make a lot of sense"

ME "ya i can see the potential for confusion there"

This one always gets me LMAO

(http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k195/john543/aflac.jpg)

question:Are you in insurance?
my answer: Why YES let me draft up a contract and you give me a $200.00 down payment....  [laugh]

At a local servo;

Him - So this is a Ducati then?
Me - Yep
Him - I like the Monsters what is this one?
Me - Monster
Him - It looks different.
Me - O - K.
Him - What do you think of the single sided swingarm?
Me - Love them.
Him - I just don't like how its hard to turn left?
Me - You've lost me.
Him - You know how they turn right better than left.
Me - It turns fine.
Him - Maybe its a ground clearance thing
Me - Possibly. Do you ride?
Him - Yeah I've got a RVF Honda
Me - I hear they go really well.
Him - Yeah but its got the single sided swing arm so it won't turn left.
Me - Keep riding it, you'll get used to it.
Him - (After a long pause) Now I've got it. Its an 888 isn't it.
Me - Yep, you've got me.
Him - Cool see you out there.

That made my day.

Crikeys... that one lost me... huh?  ;D  Buddy of mine was on his Harley and trying to keep up with us on a spirited ride... we eased back and let him lead as the up coming corners were a tad twisty for him... and we didn't want to leave him behind... instead of slowing down... he speeds up... and as the first left handed sweeper comes up.... his transmission drags on the ground... and throws him... the bike can lean like 20 degrees less when turning left because of that... so weird... anyhow... he was ok... but the bike had ground a hole into the case.... and high sided.....

I will probably go to hell for this, but as I was leaving the hospital from a 12 hour shift the elevator stopped at the Psych floor and a gal dressed in hospital pajamas, robe, and sporting the tell-tale inpatient wrist band gets on and continues to ride down with me. I am wearing my riding jacket and carrying my bucket. She looks over at me a couple times and asks "Do you ride a bike?" Just as the elevator dings that we reached the first floor and opens, I replied "Naw, I just walk funny and tend to fall down a lot." There was still a puzzled look on her face and smoke pouring out her ears as I rounded the corner.

OK, OK, I probably set her progress back a few years but it seriously just popped out without thinking.

 :o  Yikes! 

Not all Harleys are slow.  My boss that must weigh 350lbs (160k) rides his Dyna like he's in a hare scramble.  He can dust a lot of sport bikes.  Must be that he has the center of gravity of a Zamboni.  ;D 

OK, not to threadjack (sorry [bang]) but that post SO reminded me of a favorite courthouse story of mine. I worked for years in the local county criminal courthouse, I ran State District felony criminal courts. I worked directly for the judge and was basically the "mananger" of the court. Anyway, one of the district clerks asked if I would meet her at the loading dock downstairs, she had bought a small "dorm 'frig" for their office and needed help getting it upstairs. I grabbed the two wheel dolly and met her, loaded up the 'frig and headed back up stairs to our court while she parked her car.

It was Monday, the start of jury trials so the building was VERY crowded, hundreds and hundreds of potential jurors and other folks involved in the cases... victims, defendants, etc. The elevators were packed!! Finally got on one with the 'frig on the dolly. Elbow to asshole with folks. These two stoned out looking dudes (I assume they were defendants [laugh]) next to me kept looking at me in a suit and the 'frig. One of them in his best stoned out "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" voice asks "Wow, dude, is that full of beer? Where's the party at dude?" Without batting an eye, I looked at him and said "We are in a big murder trial in the 204th. There is a severed head as evidence, it's right in here. I have to keep it in this cooler so it won't start stinking." Total deadpan delivery, unfortunately not a single friend on the elevator to witness it. All he could say was a stoned out "Wow man, that's gnarly". We stopped, the doors opened, I got out... no one else did, probably even folks who wanted the 7th floor. You could hear a pin drop!

I was laughing so damn hard walking down the hallway people probably thought I was nuts!! [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Sorry, end of threadjack!

Kind Officer: "Do you know what the speed limit is back there?"
Me: "No sir."
Kind Officer: "40"
Me: "Ah"
Kind Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Me: "No sir, faster than 40"
Kind Officer: "96"
Me: "Ah"

Ticket written for 66 in a 40.  $206, no court appearance.  Thank you officer.

Not really a stupid question about the bike...but definately a stupid desicion on my part.

Just had to take mine in for it's yeary safty inspection here in NC and the Tech asks why I have so much unfinished Fibre glass on my bike. I look dumbfounded for  a second and he goes, "you know the fenders, the timing cover."

I said it's carbon fiber and that is the clutch.

He grunts and asks why I didn't paint it before I installed it.

I said I was saving up for chrome.

I love it lol

Will it fit in a mini van?

I had a guy come up and ask me if my bike was fast. I said " it is quick... but there are much faster bikes out there". He then tells me that he has a friend who just bought a $80,000 Ducati. I say " oh really, the desmosedici?" He says no " its a Ducati".  I say " oh which model?"  He says " the yellow one" I say " cool, what does he do for a living?", He says " he works security at the mall. I say " it must pay well" [leo]

 [laugh]  http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=37543. (http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=37543.)

I had electrical issues in San Diego, bike just wouldn't start, and it all get rectified the next day.

But that evening, my friend's stoner brother, very drunk and high, said, "Can't we just pick it up and lay it down in the back of my Ford Explorer?  I could drive you to LA, we'd be there in an hour."

Never mind the bike weighs almost 400lbs, would leak fluids, and that he was in no condition to drive, but apparently his SUV can also make the trip with an average speed of 125mph.

Nice of him to offer though, I just said, "Thank you, but no."    [bang]

I was taking my Sport 1000s on the Merrimac car ferry on Sunday when a 16 year old girl asked me:
"Is that the fastest bike in the world?"
"No, it is not"
"What is the fastest bike in the world?"
"If you mean stock from the factory, probably a Suzuki Hayabusa"
She looked at the speedometer and asked "does your bike go 160?"
"no it tops out around 130-135"
"have you ever rode it that fast?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny"(said with a big grin)

Had she been 26 the conversation would have gone like so:
"Is that the fastest bike in the world?"
"Yes, yes it is.  Would you like a ride?"

^^ I think this should have been in the Best Question about your Bike.  If people think Monsters look that fast than its a good thing.  [thumbsup]

Personally, I know my 620 will do 140  ;D

This brings a chuckle to my face everytime, without fail.   [laugh]

Dude comes up to me and asks if he can ride Lili . . .

I say "no".

He says "I'd probably die anyway".

I say "Yah, trying to get on."

You shoulda seen the looks . . . not only from him but the people within ear shot. 

I ride an 80 hp 900 desmodue.  The only performance mods are a K&N filter and the DP/Remus cans.  I'd guess it's still around 80 hp.  Fastest I've gone was a little over 120 on the front straight of Portland Int'l Raceway.  My brother's Triumph 675 easily walks away from me in a straight line. [laugh]  It makes all the "how fast is it?" comments quite laughable.

Heard too many times to count:
Random dude/dudette: "Ooh, a Ducati!  I'll bet that thing is fast!"

Also common:
"Ooh, a Ducati!  How fast will it go?"

Me: "Fast enough to get me in trouble."   :)


And the best one I've gotten when pulling into a gas station:
"What's that noise?"

 [laugh]

You mean the clutch?

That is not a dumb question, usually, it's more of a "concern question" .... only Ducati lovers knew & understood that noise

I have an open clutch cover and a stock pressure plate painted red on my bike.  The new guy at work saw my bike for the first time last week, and asked me, "What's that red thing on the side of your bike?  Is it a turbo charger or something?".  He has a CBR 600 F4 and a ZX6 and knew nothing about a dry clutch, so I explained why it is used and the benefits of it, but he just looked lost.

Shoulda told him it was the flux capacitor.  ;D

This question was directed to myself and two other hooligans

Cop  "Any reason why you guys were going that fast?"

I got a new one yesterday, it was a good one:

"See, that bike looks less intimidating, it's not so big. But it's still sporty, right? I mean, it can probably go on the highway and you can go up to what? 55?"  [laugh]

Got this one yesterday by a passer by in front of my house,

" why did you took of the fairings to your  :o :o :oNINJA :o :o :o?"

This just in:

"Wow, a Ducati...that must have cost a fortune..."
"You might be suprised"
"Id hate to do an oil change on it though..."
"Oh yea? Why is that?"
"Well I heard you have to take the motor out to change the oil"
"Oh, yeah...that would be a bit@h..."


 [bang]

I visited some relatives the other night.  Since the wife was out of town I took the bike. 

One relative:
"You will have to eat fast so you can be home before it gets dark"
Me:
"Ummm, why? The bike has lights."

Another relative:
"Do they let you on the highway with the motorcycle?
Me:
 [bang]
 

My mother called last night for no real reason. after a few minutes of no point conversation I tell her I have to go so I can put my bike in the garage. She gasps and asks " You actually ride that bike? I thought you just had it for looking at."

I blame my father.

FINALLY got one...

Gear on, helmet in hand (with D U C A T I on it), walking towards bike 10 feet away...
guy yells from across the street, "Is that your bike?"
I had heard him despite the earplugs already in, but said, "I'm sorry what did you say?"
he repeated, "Is that your bike?" but followed up, "that's an awesome bike!"

I said thank you, and went on my way.

So, I guess it was a dumb question + a compliment.

Young guy at the parts counter of a motorcycle dealership...

"Oh, you ride a Monster? Don't see many of those around any more!"

"Anymore? I'm pretty sure they ARE still making them"

"Nah, not since '06"

"Mine's an '07"

Just paid the bill and walked away.

I have also one whit an officer (after passing through a red light, ok it really changed to red in the last second but still red it was..):
Officer: "Do you know why I stopped You?"
Me: "Yes, I was going to slow."
Officer: "Excuse me?"
Me: "If I rode 70, I've passed with the light still green.."
Officer: "Get lost!" (laughing..)

Like that.   [clap]   Gonna have to remember that one.

I was at a bicycle shop checking things out and this guy comes up to me and says " is that your buel out there?". My response was a long pause and then i just said yes. I didnt want to embarass the guy

Don't know if anyone's heard this, but I've had a couple of people ask if my bike had a single cylinder engine ...

OK - this one puzzled me.  My husband and I pulled into the local Honda dealership, each on our monsters, and one of the salesmen said to us... "you looking to buy a sport bike?"  I looked at him and said... "those are our Ducati's outside" and he said "yeah, I saw you ride up on them".
WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?  Are our bikes NOT sport bikes?   HELLO!!!!

I think he meant a bike with fairings ... for him, that's a sport bike.

Remember:
       Fairings = Sport
       No fairings = "open to definition"
This is for today's generation

i like to think of monsters as a "standard" bike.  not to say its not special, but rather the contrary.

our bikes are a "standard" cut of beef.  aka steak.

sportbikes are the hotdogs.  you get more dogs for the money but some of us just have taste...    ;D

edit..
i love me some steak...but i wouldn't mind an 848 hotdog now and then.

Your bike is rolling art, and a standard  :P

I would say no.

Just because a guy has conjugal relations with his wife it doesn't mak her a sporting lady.

+1

But, for today's kids, if it has fairings is a sport bike, if it has fairings and a tall windscreen, is a tourer and if it has ONLY 2 cylinders in a V configuration is a CHOPPER ...

a NAKED sport bike.... no?

No.

You're saying a Multistrada with a DP Touring windscreen is a chopper?!

Are you making some sort of distinction between an L configuration and a V configuration? Where would a Moto Guzzi Norge fit?

Incidentally, I always think of the typical chopper as having no fairings at all, no windscreen, and being utterly useless for touring.

Can I ride it?

JM

According to Navy regulation, our Monsters are in fact sport bikes and not standards.  In order to ride on base you must take a rider safety course, and because the foot pegs place your feet below you and not in front, they are classified as "sport"   And honestly...what did you expect going to a Honda dealership? They make a CBR with tribal flames for chirst sake...how could you expect them to recognize a monster for what it is??

I wont argue with you ... YOU'RE RIGHT !!!

But I said, today's kids, now I must correct myself and say 'today's 3rd world kids ..." better?

Yeah, well, I'm not in the Navy anymore.  [cheeky]

As I remember back in '92 when the Monster was introduced to the public it was called a "naked sport bike"  As compared to most standards it was lighter, with more lean angle and a rather steep front geometry plus big Brembo brakes off the Superbike and a more aggressive riding position than most standards of similar displacement. 

  Not to change the discussion.... had a couple "Racebike builders" ask Me " If Ducati is so high performance, why would they run two cylinders out one exhaust??"....I burst out laughing, as We were in a good sized biking crowd, and had to explain the dual spark ignition system. I think They are still wondering...    I was on My MTS1100.  [laugh]

Oh I'm not in the Navy...I just get paid from them with your tax dollars  ;D  Thanks by the way! [thumbsup]

Que?

Twin parallel horizontal cylinders, one spark plug for each, but only one exhaust outlet  [roll]

  Yeah, They thought that because it has 4 plugs it has to be a 4 cylinder...that should exhaust with 4 pipes.....

I don't know if this was the dumbest question but..

Last Friday night in Oldtown Scottsdale.


"Is that a Ducati?"

"Yes"

"Cool..wanna do some cocaine?"


WTF?! Haven't heard that one yet.  ???

Crazy thing..it was 8pm and she was hot chick who appeared to be perfectly sober.



**I just told the s/o and she said she doesn't want me riding that bike around there anymore.  [laugh]